Messy Equestria Girls

by The Dark Wolf

Rarity's Messy Adventure

Rarity walked outside, admiring the rainbow. She did not like being in the rain, because it did dreadful things to her hair. But, she always liked after the rain. Everything sparkled, and there was usually a beautiful rainbow like this one.

She was wearing her usual light blue T-shirt and purple skirt.

She sat down on a bench, and cringed a little because it was still wet from the rain.

"Ugh, of all the rare gems I had to find, why'd it have to be one I have a hundred of already?"

Rarity turned to see Trixie, wearing her usual blue shirt and purple skirt, holding a sparkling blue gem in her hand.

"Oooh, if you don't want it I'll take it off your hands!" Rarity stood up excitedly.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie has no use for this," said Trixie, and she threw it in a nearby dumpster.

"Are you out of your mind?" Rarity climbed on top of the dumpster. She cringed at the sight of all the rotten food inside. Chili, spaghetti with meatballs, lasagna, applesauce, potato salad, mashed potato, meatloaf, slices of pizzas and pies, and other stuff that she couldn't even identify after rotting there for days.

Amidst it all was the gem, mercifully on a juice container that seemed untouched by the mess. She reached as far as she could for it while trying to not fall in. It was just out of her reach. She reached further, taking a little less caution.

Just as her fingertip was about to touch it, a monkey grabbed it and admired it. Rarity was surprised, and lost her grip. She fell into the dumpster, and was promptly covered in the foul muck that made up most of the garbage's top layer.

"Ugh," said Rarity in utter disgust, feeling the urge to vomit.

She looked beside her and realized the monkey was gone. She climbed out of the dumpster and saw the monkey dancing, holding the gem above it in its hand.

"I saw that gem first, so be a dear and give it to me?" said Rarity.

The monkey ran.

Rarity gave chase, splashing through the puddles, but jumping over any mud puddles she crossed. She didn't want to get any dirtier than she was. Of course, if she was covered with only mud she'd be cleaner than she was now.

Speaking of mud... they were soon crossing a mud field full of pigs.

Rarity hated getting her shoes dirty with mud, but they were already dirty, and she wanted that gem. And to teach the monkey a lesson. She cringed as some of the mud splashed on her dress.

Then she caught sight of Fluttershy as she ran by her. Fluttershy was on all fours, covered with mud, and feebly saying "Oink", as if trying to imitate a pig. She didn't know what Fluttershy was doing, but for the moment, she didn't care.

The monkey stopped moving, and Rarity dove at it.

It stepped to the side, and Rarity fell facedown in the mud.

She moaned as she lifted her face out of the muck, with the monkey taunting her, Rarity reached for it but it ran ahead. Rarity got to her feet and continued her pursuit.

Rarity chased the monkey all the way to a swamp. About a minute into the swamp she slipped and fell backwards into swamp water. She sat up and groaned, for this water was dirtier than mud. And it smelled, too.

The monkey stood in place, taunting her. Rarity stood up, but lost her footing and fell back into the swamp water, landing in a sitting position. She got back up and ran towards her enemy, which promptly ran further into the swamp.

In a darker section of swamp, she found the monkey standing on what looked like a hill of slime.

"You're not going to make me climb that, are you?" said Rarity. "Really, I'm filthy enough as it is."

The monkey jumped up and down. The mass of slime moved, and the monkey quickly jumped off it. Rarity found herself staring a large slime monster in the face, and it was not happy to be woken up from its nap.

For a moment, though terrified of this beastly creature, she wondered how such a thing could exist. Equestrian magic must have created it.

The monster roared at Rarity, showering her with spit and slime. Rarity felt less afraid and more disgusted at the state she was in now.

Then it sneezed, showering her with slime that felt gooier than before.

"Really, turn the other way when you're about to do that!" said Rarity.

The monster picked her up with a slimy hand - not that she could really get any dirtier - and threw her into a shallow pool of foul-smelling swamp water.

Rarity got back to her feet as the monster stared at her, the expression on its face telling her what it was thinking. Go away. I'm trying to sleep.

She wasted no time in running. The monster wasn't chasing her. It had probably resumed its nap, and as disgusted as she was, she was relieved it wasn't some ravenous beast out to devour her. In the state she was in, she probably wouldn't be very appetizing anyway. But then again, she didn't know what a disgusting thing like that would eat. Evidently not humans.

Rarity caught sight of the monkey, and ran after it. As she entered a little bridge of land across a pool of swamp water, she stopped in her tracks.

Trixie stood in the middle of the path. The monkey climbed onto her shoulder.

"Excellent performance," Trixie said to the monkey. "This was even more fun than the Great and Powerful Trixie had hoped."

"What are you talking about?" said Rarity.

"This gem I threw in the trash?" Trixie held up the gem. "It's nothing but a fake. A plastic imitation I got at the store. I pretended it was a real one, threw it in the garbage, and trained this monkey to steal it, as a trick! The Great and Powerful Trixie knows how much you like gems. And how much you hate getting dirty, so I had him run through the mud and the swamp, and wake up that slime creature Snips and Snails told me about."

"So it was all just a trick to set me on a wild goose chase? And to get me dirty?"

"Yes, it was!"

"How uncouth!"

Rarity threw Trixie off the path and into the swamp water. She walked across the path, stopping to turn around and watch Trixie climb out, sputtering, while the monkey laughed at her.

She was satisfied now, but not quite. Trixie only fell into swamp water. Rarity was covered with not only swamp water, but mud, garbage, spit, snot, and slime, and the most recent swamp water she fell into smelled worse than the one Trixie fell into.

She was going to take a bath in the nearest body of water she could find, and then take a long bubble bath and shower at home, and wash her dress twice with extra detergent in the machine. One would probably be enough, but she wanted all traces of this muck washed off forever.

Author's Note:

Yeah, of course Rarity gets the messiest because she hates getting dirty. That's why I saved her for last.