This time the stark realization hit Twilight as she now understood that, yes she overreacted and all the emotional heartache she put herself through was all for nothing and once again fell to her knees crying this time surrounded by the people most dear to her in the world.
While I agree with Animanga21 that you took a clopfic too seriously, I do think you have a solid basis for a story here. After all, why shouldn't there be consequences? Twilight did NOT overreact, she was essentially gang raped.
However, that said, this needs work. There are a lot of run-on sentences like the one above, as well as vast chunks of text that are hard to read.
I think you might have taken a fetish based clopfic a little too seriously, buddy.
While I agree with Animanga21 that you took a clopfic too seriously, I do think you have a solid basis for a story here. After all, why shouldn't there be consequences? Twilight did NOT overreact, she was essentially gang raped.
However, that said, this needs work. There are a lot of run-on sentences like the one above, as well as vast chunks of text that are hard to read.