Apple Brandy

by Alaborn

The Past

Apple Brandy

By Alaborn

Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.

The Past

---

“I thought you said you were going to teach me a secret about our family business,” Diamond Tiara said to her father.

“Yes. And that is exactly what we’re doing,” Filthy Rich replied.

“Then why are we in this dirty, filthy place?”

When her father had said she was ready to learn what it meant to run Barnyard Bargains, Diamond Tiara jumped at the opportunity. She happily trotted after her father as they headed downtown, only to frown as her father led her past the building that housed the corporate offices of Barnyard Bargains. He brushed aside her complaints, saying that all would be explained when they reached their destination. She just wasn’t expecting their destination to be an old warehouse by the railroad tracks.

Tall stacks of crates and barrels cast long shadows in the dim light that filtered into the warehouse. The musty smell of a hundred dirty basements assaulted the filly’s nose, and she wrinkled her muzzle.

“To answer your question, my precious Diamond, we are taking delivery of a very special item, gifted to our family from one of our oldest business partners. And there it is!”

Filthy Rich walked over to... whatever it was, Diamond Tiara didn’t know. The mystery package was around the size of the filly, but wrapped in canvas and secured with twine. Filthy Rich checked the paperwork, tucked the documents safely in his collar, and then went to work.

Diamond Tiara recoiled at the sight of her father, cutting twine and tugging at the canvas like some common laborer. “Can’t you get, like, other ponies to do that?” she asked.

Filthy Rich spat out the canvas in his mouth and turned to his daughter. “Diamond Dazzle Tiara Rich, you’ve spent the last six months begging me to teach you more about running Barnyard Bargains. You wanted to know how to be the boss? Well, this is what being the boss means. It means knowing every facet of the business, even the ones that ‘other ponies’ can do. It means being the first to go to work, and the last to be paid. It means that everything you do is focused on the success of Barnyard Bargains. Come the Hearth’s Warming season, I am there on the floor first thing in the morning, stocking the shelves for our customers, and late at night, after everypony has gone home, I make sure the store is clean and orderly, ready for the next day’s customers.” He turned and finished pulling the canvas from the package. “So let’s start training you to be the boss.”

Diamond Tiara looked at what was under the canvas, an old cask. “We came all the way here for that? But we don’t even sell dirty old barrels!”

“That is true, Diamond. But what this old cask represents is something very important to Barnyard Bargains, and most important of all to those who run the business. This cask represents a relationship. Pink Muscat runs her family’s vineyard north of Applewood, and her family has supplied Barnyard Bargains with grapes and grape juice for more than fifty years.” He motioned to the cask with a hoof. “This here is one of the barrels used by the vineyard to age their award-winning Cabernet Sauvignon. And Pink Muscat has gifted us with this barrel, as a token of our long-standing business relationship.”

Diamond Tiara approached the barrel cautiously, as if it were going to jump up and attack her. “It smells all... ew!” She tapped it with a hoof, confirming the barrel was empty. “What are we going to do with this?”

“This, my little Diamond, is a Hearth’s Warming gift for another family, one with an even older relationship with the Rich family. Relationships, my dear!”

Filthy Rich picked up the cask and placed it on his daughter’s back. Diamond Tiara flinched under the weight; even empty, the cask was heavy. But her earth pony magic kicked in; she drew strength from the earth to support the weight and keep the cask steady on her back.

Diamond Tiara wanted to scowl, but a Rich should not show weakness. She put on a determined expression and followed her father. Once he met with the stallion running the warehouse and passed over the paperwork, they departed.

Father and daughter walked together under the setting sun. She thought they were returning home, but when they passed the main road and continued to the edge of town, Diamond Tiara was quick to realize their ultimate destination.

---

“Apple Bloom! Don’t dilly-dally!” Granny Smith shouted from outside.

“Coming, Granny,” Apple Bloom responded. The filly ran out the door and searched for her grandmother.

Apple Bloom found Granny Smith outside the barn, fiddling with some metal contraption she’d remembered seeing collecting dirt and cobwebs in the corner of the barn. But now, it had been cleaned and polished, and its copper surface gleamed in the afternoon sun. She inspected the device with curiosity. Something like a metal dome with a pipe coming off of it, its shape reminded Apple Bloom of an onion poking out of the ground. Granny Smith had raised it off the ground, and was stacking kindling under it.

“What’s all this for?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I’ll tell you everything in good time, young’un, but for now, I need you to get the barrel of cider from the cellar.”

“What barrel of cider? We sold out every day!”

“There was one barrel set aside, for just this reason. Best apples of the season. Now git!”

Apple Bloom trotted quickly to the cellar, and sure enough, found one barrel of cider, seemingly forgotten. It was a larger barrel than their normal cider barrels, and for the life of her, she couldn’t remember seeing one like it before. Granted, that whole ruckus with those unicorn conponies made a right mess of cider season, but Apple Bloom was certain she hadn’t seen anypony fill this barrel.

Apple Bloom knew that if she wanted her questions to be answered, she’d best not delay, lest Granny Smith harangue her for her tardiness. The filly tipped the barrel and rolled it onto her back, settling it just past her withers, and headed out of the cellar. Even through the barrel, her muzzle wrinkled at the off scent of this cider.

By the time Apple Bloom returned, Granny Smith had the fire started, low flames just beginning to lick the larger logs. She lowered her body and rolled the barrel off her back. “How come we didn’t sell this cider? And why does it smell funny?” Apple Bloom asked.

“This, Apple Bloom, was cider made from the first apples harvested this season. They weren’t for our normal cider, but something special. We do this every year.”

“Then how come I’ve never seen this special cider?”

“Because little apple seeds shouldn’t drink it. But now you’re—”

“I’m old enough to drink it?” Apple Bloom interrupted.

“Yes, but we’re not drinking it this year,” Granny Smith said.

“Awww,” the filly pouted. “Wait, is that what this funny contraption is for?” Apple Bloom asked.

“That it is. We’re going to be making something extra special from this here cider, and you’re old enough to learn how.” Seeing Apple Bloom frown, Granny Smith continued. “Maybe you’ll even get your cutie mark!”

Apple Bloom’s expression brightened at hearing those magic words. “What do I do?” she asked eagerly.

“First, we need to tap this barrel.”

That was something Apple Bloom had plenty of experience doing. In addition to the contraption, Granny Smith had brought out a bunch of other supplies, including a pair of pails and a bunch of clay jugs. Apple Bloom found the tap resting in one of the buckets, and picked it up. With a swift kick from a hoof, she pushed the tap into the barrel.

Granny Smith took one of the pails and started to dispense the cider. Now out of the barrel, the off smell was overpowering. “What’s wrong with the cider?” Apple Bloom asked.

“This is hard cider that’s been fermenting in the cellar,” Granny Smith explained. “Most years, we share it with friends and family after little fillies have gone to bed.”

The smell still wasn’t pleasant. Maybe it was okay that she didn’t get to drink it, Apple Bloom mused.

Once the pail was full, Granny Smith motioned to the contraption. “Now, this here is your grandpappy’s still. We use it every few years to make apple brandy, and today I’m going to show you how.” She opened the top of the still. “Help me get the cider in there.”

Together, Apple Bloom and Granny Smith filled the still with the cider. Once that was done, Granny Smith poked at the fire. “Bring your hoof near,” she told Apple Bloom. “Feel the heat.”

“It feels like a fire,” Apple Bloom said.

“It’s a low fire. You want it not hot enough for a tea kettle.”

“Not hot enough? But why?”

“You don’t want to boil the cider. But with just enough heat, you’ll get the best part of the cider to steam up. It goes up, into the tube, and the cool air turns it back into liquid.” Granny Smith took one of the jugs and placed it under the open end of the tube. “Wait for it....”

Apple Bloom waited. And waited. It took a while, but finally, the first drop of distilled cider dripped from the spout into the jug.

“We did it!” Apple Bloom said.

“Now, the first part isn’t good. And the last part isn’t good either. But the middle, that’s liquid apple gold.”

“How do you know what’s what?” Apple Bloom asked.

“You need to pay attention. It’s the smell, and the sound. You need to listen to the apples.”

Granny Smith monitored the still closely as Apple Bloom watched. She switched out the jug when it was full. Midway through filling the second jug, Granny Smith picked up an empty jug and hovered near the spout. “Now!” she suddenly shouted, and pushed the fresh jug under the spout.

If the apples said anything, Apple Bloom sure didn’t hear them speak.

Apple Bloom stayed with Granny Smith all afternoon as they distilled the cider. It wasn’t hard work, but the still required constant attention to ensure the temperature was right. The huge barrel ended up creating enough alcohol to fill dozens of jugs, though together they were nowhere near the volume of the big barrel. Finally, Granny Smith again hovered near the still, and pulled away the last jug at just the right time.

Apple Bloom sniffed the jug. “Whoo-ey! That’s strong stuff!”

“That it is, young’un,” Granny Smith said.

“Uh, now what do we do? Drink it?”

“Not a chance! Apple brandy needs time to age. The best things in life take time to mature.”

“Time? Like, a few months?”

Granny Smith chuckled. “Well, let’s just put it this way. By the time this batch is mature, you’ll be mature enough to have more than a sip.”

“Hey! I’m plenty mature.”

---

“Hey, I’m plenty mature!” Diamond Tiara heard a familiar voice say as they came around the side of the Apple family barn.

“Yeah, plenty mature, for a blank flank,” Diamond Tiara taunted.

“Oh, like you’re so big, Miss Can Barely Hold A Barrel.”

Diamond Tiara was feeling the effects of carrying the heavy wine cask across town. Her legs quivered under the weight. But a Rich does not show weakness, especially to a blank flank hick. Defiantly, she set the cask down, and thumped it with a hoof, before staring at Apple Bloom. “Like you’ve ever carried a cask as high quality as this one.”

“Diamond,” Filthy Rich interrupted.

Apple Bloom returned Diamond Tiara’s stare. “Then that cask’s the only high quality thing I see here,” she retorted.

“Apple Bloom, come here. Now!” Granny Smith demanded.

Diamond Tiara leaned in, pressing her muzzle to Apple Bloom’s. “Stupid dirty rotten apple!”

Apple Bloom snarled. “Weak lazy princess wannabe!”

“Enough!” both Filthy Rich and Granny Smith shouted. They picked up their charges by the napes of their necks and physically separated the fighting fillies.

Filthy Rich set his daughter down, near the side of the barn. “Diamond Dazzle Tiara Rich. This is not how the aspiring head of Barnyard Bargains maintains a business relationship,” he stated.

“But Daddy...”

“Don’t But Daddy me,” he continued. “Apple Bloom is a good filly, your classmate, and the heir to her family, just as you are to yours. You will treat her with the respect she’s earned. We are not leaving until the two of you have a civil conversation, and you learn something from her.” With that, he walked away.

Meanwhile, some distance away, Granny Smith set down her youngest granddaughter and gave her a withering stare. “Apple Bloom, if I’ve taught you anything, it’s that you never treat anypony bad. Harsh words make for sour apples,” Granny Smith said.

“But I...” Apple Bloom started.

“No buts! You’re going to be nice to that filly, and that’s that.” Granny Smith started to walk away, but then turned her head. “And don’t think I won’t know! I can always hear when apples are bad.”

Apple Bloom scowled and walked away, hooves pounding the earth with more force than strictly necessary. She wandered back to the still, sitting on her haunches near the still-burning fire. She noticed the jug collecting the tails from the still; Granny Smith must have put it there while Apple Bloom was distracted by the arrival of her least favorite classmate. She focused on the drips, rather than on the filly approaching her.

“Apple Bloom,” Diamond Tiara said flatly.

“Diamond Tiara,” Apple Bloom responded in kind, without making eye contact.

“Look, Apple Bloom, I...”

“Just because I have to be nice to you, doesn’t mean I have to care,” Apple Bloom said.

“Like I want to be here either.” Diamond Tiara scraped her hoof along the ground. “I guess we have that in common.”

“Guess so,” Apple Bloom said, still staring at the jug.

For a while, there was no sound other than the cracking of fire and the dripping of liquid into the jug. Finally, Diamond Tiara broke the silence. “What is this?” she asked.

“Why would you care what a stupid dirty rotten apple is doing?” Apple Bloom spat.

“Okay, fine, I really don’t care. But Daddy says I have to learn something, and well, this looks interesting. A little interesting. So what is this?”

Apple Bloom finally looked up, needing to meet Diamond Tiara’s gaze to confirm what she was asking about. She was looking at the still. The anger was gone from her expression, and she was looking a little curious, an expression Apple Bloom noticed on Diamond Tiara only rarely during Miss Cheerilee’s class.

“This is my grandpappy’s still. We were using it to make apple brandy from apple cider.”

“Oh,” Diamond Tiara said. “Does that cask have something to do with it?”

Apple Bloom shrugged. “I don’t know. I have a feeling Granny was going to say, before you, uh, I mean we, you know....”

Diamond Tiara glanced over at her father, who was in conversation with Granny Smith while still keeping an eye on the two fillies. “We could go ask. Together.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

---

“That’s a mighty fine Hearth’s Warming gift, Filthy,” Granny Smith said.

“I prefer Mr. Rich, Granny Smith,” Filthy Rich replied.

“Mr. Rich was your grandpappy. You’ll always be little Filthy to me.” She sighed. “I don’t know what’s gone wrong. I’ve taught Apple Bloom better than that.”

“As have I, Granny Smith, but I’m afraid I do know what’s gone wrong.” He looked away, in the direction of his home.

“You’re a good stallion, Filthy. You’re providing a good example for your filly.”

“I’m trying to teach her how to be a good businesspony, but at the same time, Spoiled is filling her head with ideas of how she should act, just because our family has money.”

“She’ll learn what’s important, just like Apple Bloom will,” Granny Smith said confidently. “Like a good apple brandy, they just needs time to mature.”

“What’s that about brandy needing to mature?” Apple Bloom asked as she approached.

“Like, is that what the cask is for?” Diamond Tiara added.

“That’s exactly right,” Granny Smith said. She mussed Apple Bloom’s mane, and then Diamond Tiara’s. Diamond Tiara grimaced, but forced a smile after noticing her father looking at her.

“How does it work?” Diamond Tiara asked.

“Well, we put the brandy in that there barrel, and let it sit. The oak of the barrel and the old wine in the wood will blend with the brandy and create the smoothest apple drink you’ll ever taste.”

“I’m glad to see you’ve learned something,” Filthy Rich said. “This is a product that can only be made because of the relationship our families have cultivated. And in eight years, we can taste the results.”

“Eight years?” Diamond Tiara said. “That’s, like, forever!”

Comments

[deadpansnarker]

One of my favourite ships, and I like this fic a lot. And like a good Apple Brandy, it only improves as it goes on.