Fuzzies

by Palm Palette

Interlude

Back in Golden Oaks Library, Twilight groaned. She was sitting on her bench, ink and quill at the ready, and staring at a blank piece of parchment. Several books laid in a haphazard pile on the floor. She drummed a hoof on the varnished wood, adding more scuff marks to the well worn surface. Turning to the bookshelves, she levitated a thick brown tome bound in wood with vines woven in the spine. “Better Garden Cooking Recipes? This one's not even about magic!” With a thud, the book joined the others on the floor. “I wish I knew what to do. None of these books have helped one bit. I just wish there was a spell that could fix everything.”

The stairs rattled as little feet came stomping up them. Spike burst in the room, panting and huffing. “Twilight, what was that all about?”

“What was what about?”

“That. Just now. With Pinkie.” He waved his arms in the air, then clutched his side and leaned against the door frame to catch his breath.

Twilight cringed. She gave him a long stare, and spoke slowly, “I know this going to sound bad, but I think that Pinkie's a beast lover.” The last two words were spoken in a harsh whisper.

“A what?”

“A beast lover. The lowest of the low. The worst kind of pony.”

“Huh?”

Twilight groaned and rubbed her temple. “Spike, I don't expect you to get it because you're a dragon, but fuzzies are a hugely sensitive issue. If you don't know about this stuff you could seriously offend somepony.”

“Then tell me.”

Shaking her head, Twilight closed her eyes and rubbed her face. “I always hate talking about it. It's just so distasteful.” She took a deep breath and sighed. “I've already told you about fuzzies, but a little reminder can't hurt. As you know, they're hybrid ponies with animal characteristics. They can be erratic, dangerous, and are a menace to society. Fuzzies come in three varieties. The normal kind is the one I just mentioned. Fuggles are fuzzies who have maimed themselves to remove the animal parts. They tend to be scarred, crippled, and are just as erratic and dangerous, if not more so.”

“Maim themselves? Why would anypony do that?”

Twilight bit her lip. “Uh. Because being a fuzzy is so bad that they'd rather be half a pony than a fuzzy at all, but it doesn't work. They're still fuzzies inside. There's no way to fix that.”

“Gah!” Spike cringed and shielded his face. “That's awful!”

“It is, Spike, and the third type is even worse.”

“Worse than that?” He clutched himself and curled into a ball, shaking.

“Uh...” Twilight blinked. “...but the good news about the third kind is that they don't exist anymore. Some ponies just made some bad choices a long time ago, and that was that. In addition to the fuzzies themselves, regular ponies fall into three general categories. The vast majority are normal ponies like myself who instinctively know that fuzzies are bad news and stay away from them. The other two categories can be problematic and downright dangerous.”

Frowning, Twilight shook her head. “For whatever reason, some ponies choose to ignore their instincts and associate with fuzzies anyway. We call those ponies sympathizers. The good news is that they inherently know that what they're doing is wrong, and can often be reasoned with.”

“Reasoned with? You mean yelled at?” Spike asked.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Well, maybe. Shouting is a good way of drilling sense into somepony. It's the third type who are really dangerous. Beast lovers don't have the same instincts everypony else does, and can never be convinced of their error. They put themselves at risk by associating with fuzzies without hesitation, and that's not even the worst of it. Some beast lovers go to great lengths to convince other ponies that fuzzies aren't so bad, and put everypony else at risk by trying to bring the monsters back into society. If a beast lover speaks, you shouldn't listen. Plain and simple.”

“Twilight, Celestia specifically told you to listen to your friends.”

Twilight waved her hoof dismissively. “She couldn't have known that Pinkie was a beast lover. That obviously doesn't apply to her.” Tapping a hoof on her chin, Twilight hummed softly. “Oh! Spike, do you know where the Mindbending Compendium 9000 got to? I want to look up Abraca's Ultimate Hypnosis. Magic can't fix fuzzies, but a reformation spell might be exactly what Pinkie needs.”

“Uh... sure. It's under 'M'.” Spike hesitated at first, but soon ran over to a low bookshelf and pulled out a dusty tome bound with shark's teeth and broken glass. Gingerly, he flipped the heavy volume open and used the index to find the relevant entry. “Here it is. The ultimate hypnosis spell is guaranteed to alter the subject's complete worldview. To cast the spell, you'll need one mirror on a rope, at least five inches in diameter, unbroken, an advanced understanding of Mantra's magical melody, and your hypnotic message, preferably rhyming. Note: author is not responsible for problems caused by bad or conflicting instructions or improper use of this spell. Probable side effects include glossy eyes, staring into space, walking into objects, faded discoloration, lack of personality, inability to think for oneself, drooling, dead mane syndrome, and loss of cutie mark.”

“Hmm. That sounds like an older revision. Sixty percent of the magical melody technique has been proven to be superfluous. Still, it sounds like it would solve the problem.”

“Only if the problem is Pinkie being Pinkie Pie.” Spike cringed and snapped the book shut. He put it back on the shelf. “Twilight, shouldn't you at least finish talking to your friends before you go off and do something drastic?”

“Well I suppose, but I have no idea where Rainbow Dash is.”

“And what about Fluttershy?”

Twilight emphatically shook her head. The mere thought made her chest clench up. No! She couldn't see a fuzzy!

But she also stopped quickly. She shocked herself with the force of her own dread. This wasn't some random fuzzy; it was Fluttershy. She clenched her teeth. No. It couldn't be helped. “Spike, I already said that we can't be friends with her anymore.”

“Don't you at least want to say goodbye?”

Turning away, there was a thud as Twilight dropped her head on the bench. Her chin ruffled the empty sheet, and she sniffled. She'd been strong in maintaining her composure, but the weight of it all was threatening to crush her. “Spike, I...” She clenched her eyes shut, and sniffled again as a trickle of tears leaked out. “I'm really going to miss her. I really am.”

She paused and remembered the good times they had. Fluttershy was always so soft spoken, mellow, and timid, but had deep kindness in her heart that lent her a strength of character far beyond the norm. If only she could have learned to be more assertive. If only. It was too late for that now.

Picking up a box of tissues, Spike walked over and offered her one. She grabbed the whole box, leaving him empty-handed. “I'll miss her too.”

She tore out a wad of tissues and blew her nose. Staring at the pile of discarded books on the floor, she rubbed her bleary, bloodshot eyes. Perhaps she was being too hasty. Though her instincts screamed against it, she felt like she owed it to her former friend. If Fluttershy could stare down a dragon, then Twilight could visit a fuzzy.

Getting up, she took a deep breath and cast the tissues aside. “There'll be time for crying later. You're right, Spike. We do need to say goodbye. We owe her that much, at least.”

Comments

[JazzyWaffles]

Twilight waved her hoof dismissively. “She couldn't have known that Pinkie was a beast lover. That obviously doesn't apply to her.” Tapping a hoof on her chin, Twilight hummed softly. “Oh! Spike, do you know where the Mindbending Compendium 9000 got to? I want to look up Abraca's Ultimate Hypnosis. Magic can't fix fuzzies, but a reformation spell might be exactly what Pinkie needs.”

So are you legitimately trying to make me wish death upon the main character? Or is that accidental?

[Shadowshame]

8561913
I believe the author is showing how idiotic bigotry and racism is