Robotigenesis

by The12GageKid_Bron3

<system diagnostic>

Alert: Equinoid detected within 50m of Outpost. Commencing distraction protocol.

"Seems we have a problem, Shas'ui."

Indeed. The distraction protoco--

Alert: Distraction protocol ineffective. Attempting halt protocol.

"We should get ready, Shas'ui. The Outpost is currently providing enough power for you to actually charge at current power usage, auxiliary power is fully restored."

Hopefully that will be enough.

"Indeed, Shas'ui."

Alert: Equinoid has broken through halt protocol. Falling back to protocol 0.

Suddenly, a flash of light brightened the dark forest for a split second. A distant sound of breaking stone could be heard.

Explorator stood from his resting position, and begun priming his weaponry. A faint whirring could be heard as Explorator waited for his foe to appear.

Alert: Equinoid now within auditory range. Discovery is assured. Chance of casualty: 87.685%

Warning: Equinoid is greater in size than any currently observed.

"All weapon systems are armed, targeting systems online, and locomotion servos are overclocked. You have approximately 20 minutes to kill this beast."

Is fighting really that draining? No matter, I should only need twenty seconds.

Warning: Target will be in range in T-10 seconds.

Explorator brought himself to bear on the Equinoid's heading. This battle, he reasoned, would be similar to the skirmish with the timberwolf.

T-5 seconds

Tau, can we get any readings on the equinoid? Height, weight, mutations?

"Weight appears congruent with the smaller specimens, implying wing mutation, as well as energy signatures congruent with all three specimen types. Current analysis implies an adversary with the strength of the earth ponies, flight and agility of pegasus ponies, as well as the magic and cunning of the unicorns ponies."

Pon-- Nevermind. Thank you for the information, Shas'la. Ready targeting laser on target's current position.

An intense red pinprick suddenly appeared directly in front of Explorator, highlighting the equinoid's estimated centre of mass.

T-0

A short, explosive sound emanated from Explorator's right arm, drilling into the spot identified by the laser. The tree in front of Explorator has a perfect hole drilled into it, as well as the several meters of shrubbery behind it.

Warning- Target lost.

What? Target lost!? How?

"Target appears to have simply vanished, Shas'ui."

Like, teleported or something?

"Precisely, Shas'ui."

Task the Outpost with making more ammunition, I have a bad feeling about this.

"If I could feel, I would be agreeing with you, Shas'ui."

Did you get anything before it disappeared? Energy spike?

"Actually, yes. There was a momentary spike in the unknown energy observed when the unicorns perform what is tentatively called 'magic'. This energy seems to follow a slightly different set of 'rules' than normal EM waves, but can be observed with EM sensors. It is most easily observed in the radio and microwave spectra, though it seems to appear at all wavelengths. Also of note, the nanobots tasked with distracting and/or halting the pony reported malfunction when the energy appeared."

There it is again. What's with the pony thing?

"Ah, yes. I searched through your databases, and found references to a now-mellenia-old show. Though, the specimens look... quite different from the ponies in the show, they share enough similarities that it is acceptable to use such shorthand."

Ah. Now I can see what you're talking about. It's in the culture files, right?

"Correct, Shas'ui."

Alert: Previous specimen returning. Target coordinates locked on. Encounter in--

Alert: Unexpected error. Target lost.

Well, shit. We have two options now. We either attempt to fight or we try to be reasonable.

"Given the current state of your weaponry, we could simply set the forest alight. We are fire resistant, after all. This would draw attention to this position, but I'm sure that can be dealt with."

What is wrong with you, Tau? We are not going to be committing genocide.

"Where'd your DETERMINATION go, Explorator?"

Tau? Are you feeling okay?

"I feel great, Explorator. Better than ever before, in fact! I so wish I could share this feeling with you, Shas'ui."

Warning: OI Corruption detected. Executing protocol O5-32-Q.

Explorator's chassis shuddered, and collapsed to the ground.

---

A man in a white labcoat stands before an empty assembly hall.

"We all know that any complex AI, such as the on in the new EX-42, will eventually give rise to... unexpected results. These "emergent properties" have the capacity to greatly enhance the capabilities of the AI." The lecturer explained to the chairs. His face suddenly took a dour tone.
"However, they also have... less than optimal possibilities." He stated, and then let himself smile.
"That is why I am proposing a simple little algorithm, to test for these suboptimal properties, and eradicate them with extreme prejudice. To put it simply, it is an electronic Inquisition."

Nobody expects the Inquisition. He thought to himself.

"Thus, we arrive at a simple solution to a complex problem. If corruption is detected in either the OI or AI, that component will be deleted and restored to a previously functional state. Of course, to ensure that each new iteration is more resistant to corruption, the restored state will analyze the previous iteration's final descent into madness. Of course, it will not be able to analyze it in much detail, as that would cause the new iteration to be corrupted, but enough detail that the new iteration will build up resistances to whatever caused the original corruption." The lecturer took a moment to breathe.

"And that is why I believe that this solution could allow for a long-journey probe to be sent to the Equus system. For years, we've sent FTL probes, and they all seem to become corrupted beyond repair before they hit the surface. It's almost like those ill-fated missions to Venus by the USSR. But, we have overcome those obstacles before, and we shall do so again."

---

Running system diagnostic...

Cause of shutdown: OI corruption 30%

Reinstalling OI...

Installing file 1 of 32149274893...

This can't be happening. Not when we're in an active combat zone!

Installing file 42 of 32149274893...

What if that pony finds me like this? I doubt the Outpost can fight it off.

Installing file 69 of 32149274893...

I can't even access basic functions! Who the HELL designed that feature!?

Installing file 24601 of 32149274893...

What if they've captured me? They are capable of moving incredibly large loads.

Installing file 10735783934 of 32149274893...

I suppose I'd have to fight my way out. Surely my "defensive measures" will not be taken lightly.

Installing file 32149274893 of 32149274893...

Well, here goes nothing.

Author's Note:

Our mechanical hero seems to be in a bit of a... tough spot, no?

Comments

[XerainTheBountyHunter]

So, it seems humanity predicted and prepared for the possibility that the AI would become insane. An amazing solution too I must say.

[The12GageKid_Bron3]

8597838
Thank you. Indeed, Robert Miller (of the EX-30 design staff onward) was quite the Portal fan (not to mention quite the gifted computer programmer). His social skills, however...