L'Hotel des Animaux

by SwordTune

Winona

This wasn’t right. Opal wasn’t right. None of it was right. I shuddered to think about what sort of meal the manager had for dinner. Opalescence said he served it to seven special guests. If eatin’ folk was already high-class, what’d they do for the highest?

No wonder Owlowiscious put my name on the invite list, he must’ve seen this before. He could’ve at least told me that they ate other folks. Gosh darn it, Ma always did find owls suspicious. Then again, her grandpappy William Senior got taken by an owl. A lot of emotion in that opinion, I guess. Oh, what was I doing, talking my head off?

“Where in tarnation did my collar go?” I didn’t want to bark, I didn’t want the other guests to see me. And I didn’t want to see them. No, I couldn’t see them. I couldn’t even look at Opal right then if I wanted to.

Fish and a couple of odd squirrels, that I get. Animals have needs. Not every animal lives in a society with ponies. But this wasn’t wild, and we weren’t mindless killers. If they talked and if they worked, it was like they were a part of the pack. A big pack.

If only I could tell Rarity, I reckoned she’d disapprove of her cat’s private activities. But I had to get out first. I grabbed my collar and looped it around my neck, and then I was out. Well, I left a tip for the custodian first like Applejack always said to do, and then I really ran.

Into a swarm of rats waiting outside my door.

“You are Winona, we presume?” The rats crawled over each other, speaking like one critter.

“Sorry if I caused you a disturbance, uh, Mister Rats, but I have a family emergency right now. Reckon my owner wouldn’t ‘preciate it much if I made her wait.”

I pushed through the horde but they pushed back. I tumbled over my paws and rolled back into the hotel room.

“Mighty tough for some little fellas, aint’chya?”

“You are requested by the manager. We have been sent to gather you.”

Nuh-uh, I did not appreciate that choice of words. “What’dya mean by ‘gather?’”

“Please do not test the patience of the Sir. Our exalted guests are expected to appeal a few expectations, in return for meeting all of yours.”

I looked around but there was no way out. The rats didn’t lay one paw in my room, it even looked like the ones at the front were holding back the rest, but I knew I couldn’t wait in there forever. They already sounded unhappy, and I wasn’t sure what happened when expectations weren’t meant. I needed to get to them believe I was gonna go along.

“You know, I bet you’re a really busy mass of rats. I don’t want to hold you up, but I gotta use the little doggy house if you catch m’meaning. Just point me to the manager and I’ll head up when I’m done, no need to bother yourself.”

“We will take you to the manager’s private lounge, O Constipated One.”

“What? No, th-that’s not a good idea. I can’t just use someone else’s. Erm… trust me, it won’t be a pretty sight. Dogs leave terrible messes, just ask cats. Why d’ya reckon they can’t stand us?”

I thought I put on a pretty good performance, but the rats didn’t take kindly to it. The swarm simply jittered, hissing and spiking out their hairs even more. Their’ eyes reflected the candles in my room, and I’ll admit that they looked really scary. A thousand burning eyes stared at me. I didn’t know what to do.

The only thing I knew was that Owlowiscious gave me the invite. If he was invited, he must’ve had some kind of special deal with the hotel, like a VIP subscription or something. Felt like a darn fool trusting my instincts, but it always worked for Applejack.

I took one step out. “Fine. I’ll let ya take me.”

+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++

Thousands of little scratching paws, gnawing teeth and hungry mouths, that’s what a rat swarm was. ‘Least I thought so. Looked silly when I jumped head-first into the swarm. They just got out of my way let me hit the carpet.

For rats, they were polite. Not only did they avoid entering my room without permission, but during the entire walk to the manager’s suite, they didn’t come within a foot of me. The non-stop chattering was a little unnerving, but it couldn’t be helped.

Waiting in the elevator was awkward since the whole swarm couldn’t fit. Half got in with me, while the other half took the stairs. I couldn’t be sure, but even though they acted like one critter, the ones walking up sounded mighty unhappy about it.

“So, uh, know what the manager wants from me?”

“No. But we have some guesses.”

“I figured you’d know, considerin’ you seem like you do this a lot.”
“We do. He will be having you for dinner, like all the special guests.”

“Uh-huh, y’see, y’all’s gotta work on your wording, ‘cause I might jump outta this here elevator if I don’t like what y’mean by having me for dinner.”

“We mean that you will be served, to the best of the staff’s ability.”

“Heh. Still not better.” The rats were a funny bunch. I couldn’t help but pitter-patter paws around the elevator on account of being scared out of my hide. I tell ya, I didn’t want to be eaten. Dogs ain’t food, everybody knows that.

“We will leave you here,” the swarm said. They squeaked at the room in front of the elevator when the door opened. “Many things to prepare. You must prepare to meet him, in there.”

I got out as quick as I could. Sure enough, the rats went back down with the elevator, leaving me alone on the top floor of the hotel. The room the rats had pointed out was room G7, meaning guest seven, I supposed. But I was free now, and I had to get out.

Didn’t know what my plan was ‘till now, but it was clear I had luck on my side. Before the manager could find me I told myself I was going to escape. If he wanted me in room G7, then I’d have to try something else first.

I picked out the room across from it, G4, and cracked open the door. I could smell someone in there, but the scent was mixed up with so much perfume even Opalescence couldn’t have stood it. I backed out and held my breath before checking in.

Something flew at me immediately from my right. I ducked faster than a rabbit diving down its hole from a hawk attack and then turned to see who that was.

“Bloody hell, this isn’t your room.” A bat waddled out of the bathroom, towing a cat behind him. “I didn’t order another appetizer, get lost!”

He turned away, pulling the cat with him. I saw what he meant, that poor girl had leaches all over her, and he was probably using them to drain her dry. I knew my bats, rascals made homes all over the farm. In the trees, in the barn, I knew the difference between the fruit-suckers and blood-suckers. That little stumpy fella was a blood-sucker for sure.

Should I have done something for that poor cat? Yeah. But I was already on someone’s menu, and the blood-drinking bats always scared me more than the others. So I walked on out of there quieter than a snake watching a squirrel come its way.

I listened through the other doors. They were all full, I guessed they were the other special guests. Seemed like a lot. I wondered for a moment if the manager really was just going to give us dinner, or if he was a timberwolf or something and needed a lot of animals for his meal.

A voice came down the hall while I was snooping, they were calling my name. “Honestly Winona, you have really thrown a wrench into all of it today.”

I tried to hide, but the hallway was as barren as an apple tree after buckin’ season. I hurried to the very end of the hall and stuck myself behind a plastic plant, hoping they wouldn’t sniff me out.

She was a bird, a little magpie fella with a red hat and a clipboard under one wing. She was so short she had to fly up to the door handle on my room to open it.

“Darling? I have a tight schedule so I do hope you’re ready. The rats said you were, erm, having problems? If you’re not ready, there’s some medicine that can help you relieve yourself.”

I started feeling mighty embarrassed about telling the rats I had to, well, it didn’t matter. A lie was a lie, Applejack always said to her sister. Never to me though, I figured she knew I understood that.

“Oh dear, I hope you haven’t gone to see him yourself.” The magpie flew out of my room and fluttered around the hallway, muttering words that would’ve put soap in Applebloom’s mouth if she ever said ‘em.

She eventually stopped back at my door. “You’re such an idiot, Pree! Okay, think, how’re you going to tell the boss you didn’t greet his guest. Hm, maybe he won’t fire me if I can come up with something good.”

Uh-oh, I didn’t have a good feeling. If I wasn’t there, then who was gonna be the meal? I already left that cat with the other guest, was I really gonna let a bird take the fall for me? On that note, was I completely sure I was gonna be eaten? My invitation was special, but Owlowiscious gave it to me. I don’t think any creature would be crazy enough to eat the Princess of Friendship’s owl.

Alright, I had to own up. I accepted that invitation, I had to accept the consequences. “Y’all don’t have to worry,” I said.

The magpie snapped her head to me. “Oh thank goodness, you’re here! I heard you were from the countryside but I didn’t think you’d get lost in the hotel so easily.”

“Actually, I… yeah I got lost.” I didn’t want to give away that I was onto the manager. Eating folks seemed common with these types, if I said I had a problem with it, I shuddered to guess what they would’ve done to me.
“Well, don’t worry about it. I’m Pree, Mister Abacus Finch’s secretary, and premier coat caretaker at the Hotel of Animals. I can get you prepped for dinner with Mister Finch.”

“Finch? So that’s his name.”

She chirped a little laugh as she pushed me along into the room. “Oh yes, but don’t let the name deceive. He’s not a finch, but an owl. That’s a little V.I.P. secret for you.”

I took a seat in the bathroom, which was probably the nicest bathroom I had ever been in. Wasn’t no outhouse, the sink was granite, I think, and the fixtures were all polished brass or frosted glass.

“What do you mean by secret?” I asked Pree while she picked at my back. The spa treatment with Opalescence already cleaned up my coat, but I whatever Pree was doing was different, and it felt good.

“Mister Finch is a very private owl, even I never see his face when I work on him. He wears a mask and coat whenever he has company.”

“Strange ain’t it? He got a reason for being so secretive?”

“Not one specifically, rather, he’s quite paranoid about a number of issues. But that’s enough about him, you’ve got a couple of tough fleas back here.”

I wanted to know more, but I tell ya, Pree knew what she was going. I didn’t know I had fleas in the places she pecking, but once she was done, my coat was like a lamb’s wool. After a few minutes, I totally forgot what I else I wanted to know.

+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++|+++++

I liked Pree, but the more I waited for Mister Finch, the more I felt something wasn’t right. Being all secretive-like wasn’t a good sign, and on top of that, his suite was completely hidden away. A giant mirror covered the wall on one end of the halls. I would never have guessed that it was a door, but Pree led me right up to it and opened it with a little switch behind the frame.

It all gave me the creeps. But to Pree, it seemed normal. Then again, I started thinking about what Opalescence thought was normal, and I wasn’t too sure if trusting the magpie was a good idea. I wanted to, she seemed like a hard-working gal and that was something we had in common, but living with rich folk makes you see the world in a weird way.

“Oh thank goodness, the other guests have only just arrived.” Pree’s ruffled feathers settled a bit when she saw the other animals still sitting down.

I followed her, but my eyes were on the lights. Mister Finch had some weird tastes, but I would’ave been lying if I said it didn’t impress. Black granite walls with little sparkles in them that looked like stars. Might’ve been bits of gold or crystals, either way, I couldn’t tell.

Despite being inside a suite, when I entered the dining room the air turned cold like we were in the middle of the woods. The walls couldn’t hide the air vents, but they weren’t easy to spot. Instead of one vent, Finch had a bunch of thin gaps above and below the walls that blew out cold, humid air.

And it wasn’t just the feeling of the air. The plants around the suite were all scented like pine trees. They weren’t actual pine trees, but my nose was sure tricked.

“What’s this, you were in my room earlier?”

I recognized the bat’s voice and turned to him while Pree brought me to my seat. “‘Pologies for that, lost my way a bit, you know?”

“Luckily you didn’t ruin my appetite. Mister Finch has been expecting me for weeks now.”

Another animal cackled right beside me. I didn’t see her, but she seemed pretty sure about me. I felt her paw on my shoulder as she spoke.

“He imagines he’s important because of Mister Finch’s nocturnal tendencies. Yet here I sit, a fox, and a regular of our host and no more or less nocturnal than a bat.”

Pree patted me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear. “This is your seat darling, you’ll be by Madam Jack.”

I sat down and looked over to the fox who talked to me. I could barely see her, but I had my nose. “But I’ve seen foxes out in the day.”

She coughed with the same way Opal did whenever she saw me. “Don’t be silly, I’m not some city mutt, digging around pony garbage for scraps. An au naturale fox such as myself knows the night like the back of my paw.”

“I live out on a farm, reckon that’s far from the city.”

“Sweetie,” she giggled, “you have a roof over your head and never hunt for your meals. To me, you’re all city.”

I wanted to bark up, but there wasn’t anything wrong with that logic. Besides, Applejack said not to bark at the dinner table, so I just her keep to her prattlin’.

The other four guests didn’t say much to me. One of ‘em I sniffed out as a hawk, he was sitting between two cats, talking about what he could see from the sky. I didn’t like the look of the fella, but the cats were practically hanging off his wings at every word.

The snake nearly dodged my sight, but I knew how to spot out pythons, kept the farm clear of them for years. I could’ve smelled him, but the dim lights sparkling through the granite walls glowed on his polished scales. He was less talkative than I was. He just stared. Made me uneasy, but I didn’t want to be rude. Not like he could do anything else.

“Pree. Have all my guests arrived?”

Just then the whole table silenced. I nearly fell out of my chair when I heard him. I couldn’t see him, but his voice stood up the hairs on my back, like someone was whisperin’ in my ear.

Pree fluttered over into the side of the room where I couldn’t see. Everyone else looked like they knew where she went, but my eyes weren’t used to the dark yet.

“No problems that couldn’t be solved, sir. They’re all here.”

“Very good. You may leave us now.”

“Of course. Enjoy your dinner, Mister Finch.”

Light split the room for a second when Pree opened and closed the door to leave. I saw the manager for a moment, an owl in a black suit, full of white frilly stuff that made his chest puff up. The mask he wore was plain white, like a plate, but it fit his head perfectly and had a wedge along the bottom for his beak.

For an owl, he was big, easily the largest bird I had ever seen. Even the hawk, who seemed like a confident fella, shrunk into his seat.

But when the door closed it might as well have been night time again. My eyes hurt, trying to switch back to seeing in the dark.

“It’s good that you’re all here, my friends. I understand you have been very busy, so let’s take this time to ourselves. Kelp fritters from Mount Aris will be our appetizer, followed by a sample tray of three soups, salmon and sea bass bouillabaisse, triple-spiced clam chowder, and whole oyster stew.”

The hawk shuddered and tapped his talons on his seat. Rest of us hid it better, but even I couldn’t help but feel hungry when the manager said sea bass bouillabaisse. I’d never had any bouillabaisse, but it sounded like fancy talk.

“Come on, old friend,” the bat squealed, “you know what we want. What’s the main course?”

The way Mister Finch laughed at the interruption, my paws tightened at it. A predator having fun, a killer enjoying himself, I wanted to run. Everyone around me looked happy and comfortable, but still, I wanted to run. Not because I thought I was gonna be eaten, but because I knew I wasn’t.

“You’ll enjoy this one very much, Mister Bat. A fresh one.”

Petrified, horrified, death in eyes of the owl glorified. The body on that tray over there, across the room, pale white to be sacrificed. Opalescence. Muzzled and strapped down, she looked scared out of her wits, but she was tied down so hard it looked like she couldn’t even struggle.

“I must apologize to one of our guests before we begin.” I froze as Mister Finch pointed his wing at me. “I think everyone here remembers that we were short one guest at the reception this morning. Winona, I’m afraid my staff was waiting for Owlowiscious when you arrived. Only later did I receive his letter that he had given you the invitation.”

“Oh, yeah,” I wasn’t sure what to say, my eyes were just focused on Opal, “but it’s fine. Never been to a hotel like this before, didn’t know what to expect. I really don’t mind.”

“But I do, especially for a new guest.” Mister Finch pushed the tray with Opalescence into the middle of the table. “It was my duty to make you feel welcomed, but the staff couldn’t find where you were. It wasn’t until dinner that they found out you were being dragged around by this cat.”

It wasn’t right. I wanted to throw up, look away and run, but now I had to stay. I had to save her. I didn’t like it, and it sure was ironic seeing her on that dinner tray, but I had to do what was right. The other cats, by the hawk, I looked at them. If anyone was gonna object to this, they had every reason to.

But I must’ve been downright stupid thinking anything right could come from these folks. No. Their eyes were hungrier than Mister Finch’s. It was like their hawk friend didn’t matter, the way they leaned on the table reminded me of Applebloom looking at a fresh batch of Zap Apple Jam.

“How will she be cooked?” asked the fox.

The hawk guffawed. “How else? We’ll roast her with a marinated bacon wrap. Best way to keep the meat moist.”

The fox gasped back at him. “You’re dreaming if you think I’ll bite into that drivel. Bacon, I can’t think of something more mundane.”

Mister Finch broke the two up before I came out of shock from all the talk about cooking my friend. He stuck a knife so close to Opalescence that my heart nearly stopped ‘cause I thought he had killed her.

“I will decide how she will be prepared, and it is my professional opinion that all of you will enjoy it.” He didn’t have teeth, but it sure sounded like he was growling through them.

I looked at Opal and caught her eyes screaming back at me. Never working a day in her life, she couldn’t undo the bonds. But I knew I could bite right through some of those straps, even take off the muzzle. I started thinking, I could probably make up another excuse to get away from the table. A doggy emergency ought to do the trick. I could find Pree, beg to help.

But Mister Finch came around to all of us with a set of knives. I saw the gleam in the fox’s eyes, and I knew there wasn’t time. Even the other cats, especially them, looked ready to pounce. I realized then why this was even more special than the rest of the hotel’s meals.

Mister Finch threw in the extra thrill of killing your prey before they got cooked.

I stopped thinking about how I was gonna get back home. First, I had to stop Opal from getting stabbed. The moment that knife was laid out in front of me, I grabbed it in my mouth and shoved it into the fox.

I jumped up on the table and pushed Opal off her tray, grabbing her by the straps. I sunk my teeth in deep and yanked her around like a chew toy until a belt snapped and she was free.

“What is the meaning of this?” The hawk spread his wings and perched on top of his chair. I could already feel his talons around my neck, but I stayed there by Opal until she was able to run.

“Thank you.” She was already breathing hard, clawing off the other straps on her legs.

I kept my eye on the hawk, I needed to be on my toes to keep Opal safe. But in the back of the room, something glittered. Mister Finch was by the fox, holding her in his wings and a green jewel in his beak.

“Stop this!” Mister Finch swung one wing and suddenly the hawk fell down, going limp right next to my paws. The cats too, though they flew off the table because they tried pouncing before it happened.

The snake fella didn’t go down as quickly, but as he coiled up to strike Mister Finch screeched again and the legless bastard collapsed back into a coil. I couldn’t see Mister Bat anywhere, but after all that I reckoned he fell over too.

It was just him, standing there over the fox’s body. He left her to rest in her chair and glided across the dining room, planting himself right the way between us and the door. But now it was just him, and I was ready to get out of there.

Time and place for everything, Applejack said. I was pretty sure she’d be okay if I barked at the dining table just this once. I started at him, howling and whooping like he was a timberwolf tryin’ to get onto the farm.

“Winona, calm down.” He backed up, and as long as he did that I wasn’t gonna listen to a thing he had to say.

Opal surprised me, too. She jumped straight at the owl, claws out and everything. There was anything in the world that could’ve stopped that cat, ‘cept the shock we both got when she hit the mask.

Looked like his whole body just fell apart. The suit and frilly things, they dropped to the floor like the rest of the animals. I wanted to go, but now that it looked like Opal got the better of him, I thought there was no harm in seeing what kind of monster would kill another animal like that.

I wish I had just left.

“Opalescence, you idiot of a cat, look what you’ve done!” Mr Finch shrieked.

We both froze because we both knew the hoot-hoot of that voice. Still, we didn’t believe it, not even when Owlowiscious crawled out from under his costume with those big eyes full of rage.

“You really know how to ruin a plan, darling.” He coughed out the jewel onto the ground. “We’ll talk about this later.”

I’m not sure what happened after that. If I had to guess, I reckon we got knocked out, same as the others folks.

Comments

[Artist]

Oh no