intresting you have my attention question though is twi leaving equestria via the gate or is something going to come

Holy Sh*t my dream finally came true...

Well, Zaralann, you've made me intensely interested with another of your stories, while you still have plenty others for me to remain obsessed with; good on you, dude.

Sure, she could've used the [Dome of Silence] to surround herself with a bubble-shaped Barrier to prevent any sound from coming through but it wasn't capable of blocking the vibrations that were created by the loud noises and was traveling through the suspiciously conductive wood.

Technically speaking, a spell that dampens sound either deflects or nullifies sound waves; and as sound waves are technically vibrations, an overpowered [Dome of Silence] should either dull or redirect vibrations to some extent.

You need a proofreader and an editor. You have a ton of incidents where you should have 'a' but have 'an' instead, as well as basic spelling errors and incorrect words.

The story has promise, though. Seriously interesting premise, but work on those basics because it was painful to read.

All Twilight has to do is find Rory Mercury and all her problems will be solved
pm1.narvii.com/5847/e1b85d62e7e1c81da0f33b7ea4b1f0b0cd662a06_hq.jpg

8253912
better grammar then a lot of stories I've read, this has promise. i think to keep the story rolling it should only be edited (like what your talking about) every 5 chapters, keeps people interested and gives new comers the ability to read without....what's that word......a biased view of what the story will be

8256262
While it's true that there are stories with worse grammar out there, that doesn't mean that poor grammar is acceptable. The only reason I pushed through the horrendous errors was because I was interested in seeing if the concept was well done. I ended up skimming the end in order to avoid having to decipher what each sentence was meant to be.

I agree with Voidine, this story is in dire need of an editor. Putting a chapter out prior to editing is a good way to lose readers. I'd be willing to assist if needed.

I don't quite follow what you mean by "a biased view of what the story will be."

All that said, I don't mean to be rude or say that there is anything wrong with the author, just that there are improvements that can be made. I'm very curious to see how the story progresses over the next couple of chapters. I was a bit disappointed that this chapter was essentially just rewriting the first episode, but hopefully we'll get something in the next one.

I wonder how competent the Royal Guard will be in this story.

Love