Atelophobia

by Ice Star

The Fault of a Mechanical Mind

everything had been perfect
twilight sparkle knew this
and then she went to canterlot
where her dark goddess, who only needed to see light, was waiting

and she asked Her
and assured Her
that She was perfect
and she knew exactly what She was going through
no matter how many times She said that twilight sparkle was wrong
because that couldn't be

it shouldn't have ended
with
Her saying 'no' again and again
and not understanding
that twilight knew

She was lonely
She needed light
She needed to be adored
She needed to be like everypony and Celestia and laugh and smile and talk like they did and do as they did and see everything

it shouldn't have ended with twilight crying on the train back
and sitting in the library for days
because she had known
that her and Luna would have been perfect
she knew everything about Her from that nightmare night
and nothing could go wrong
because Luna was perfect
and twilight sparkle didn't fail

and what had gone wrong?
nothing
twilight was half-perfect, she knew this
and Luna
who only needed light and ponies and everything good
was perfect too

except...
what if
Luna was wrong?
twilight sparkle didn't fail
and if Luna wasn't perfect—horror racked twilight's brain at the thought—then...

Luna was wrong
troubled
isolated
and all the things that twilight's mechanical brain knew
should not be
because
she didn't know how lonely she was
how wrong she had been
until She, Celestia, had her make friends
here
in Ponyville
and twilight knew that Luna
must be exactly the same
because twilight sparkle was almost perfect
and twilight sparkle did not fail
and her mind of everything in order and everything expected and predictable
knew this

knew that she was right
because it was the simplest thing, an easy, nice, conclusion
it made sense
it was normal
it was the thing that most ponies would agree with
it was what happened to her
and what she agreed with
because nopony as alone as that could be happy
and even though most of her friends had
given her hugs
a few gifts
some reassuring looks
and many kind words
they gave her the space to be alone—now that word felt like a curse—
and work out the things that they said
only she could
even though she was sure
that if anypony could help her
clean up this ugly mess
that didn't follow order and seemed far too deep a rabbit hole
instead of neat surface matters
as it should be
it would be her friends

but rarity stayed
she helped dust the books twilight almost forgot about
(and complained the whole time about the nature of dust)
suggested gems for spike
(quartz was simply inadequate for a proper snack)
spruced up the library with a new table cloth just for her
(how it managed to draw twilight's gaze to it all the time, she didn't quite know)
and stopped by with silly romance novels that were so tragic, cheesy, silly, just plain melodramatic that twilight couldn't help but laugh when her and rarity read them

rarity talked about unrequited love and dramas and an old coltfriend here or an old marefriend that did that and complained about a horrible smoothie she had once

twilight sparkle thought it was a little more than 'almost' perfect
but she never quite thought about why
just that she knew now
that Luna may not be perfect like Celestia

Author's Note:

The incident with Luna that Twilight mentions is a separate story that I published a while ago, and can be found right here.

Comments

[Ice Star]

8508310
Ah, thank you for catching that! Homophones kinda suck...