Paradise Lost: Daughter of Gensokyo

by Maziodyne

Chapter 6: A Memory Awakens

Author's Note:

Yeah, chapter 6 came around pretty quickly, but that can be attributed to the fact that I'd been working on it for a little while before chapter 5 went up.

Also, this chapter has my story crossing paths with the story of one of the other 3 writers doing this project alongside me: RedRandom! This chapter is done in the style of his chapters: a journal entry written by his character, Benjamin Valentine. Expect spelling and grammar mistakes as well as some slight inaccuracies, but understand that they are all intentional to give the feeling of an authentic journal entry.

Anyway, chapter 7 will be a continuation of this chapter - therefore another collaboration with RedRandom - so look forward to that if you're enjoying the story!

17/4/456

Well, have you ever had that feeling that something that was so weird happen to you..that you think could never happen again at such a magnitude? Whelp, I think I just had that feeling. I don’t even remember what the hell happened clearly but..I’ll try to write it down..I hope.

I remember that I was busy thinking in the bunk that Tavi and Scratch had given me, staring at the bottom of the top bunk which had the sleeping form of Tyson inside it. I remember reminiscing over the events that had led me to being allowed to attend this journey that these four were going on. I honestly felt like a freeloader, I felt..like a leech. It was like I has popped up out of nowhere and was sucking on these folks good will like a leech sucking on an open wound. Was that wrong? I’m not sure myself...but I felt wrong, that’s for sure.

I remember that, I was smiling for whatever reason, a warm dinner that Scratch had provided was still in my gullet and I remember patting my stomach lightly, having enjoyed the good meal I closed my eyes for a moment and thought about it, coming to the conclusion that even if I was a leech, I was a protective leech..a leech that would defend it’s bloodbags to the end. I knew that..I saw those two mares as different from any other being I had seen.

I mean, Tyson was...decent, just as protective as me and I tell you he could do much more damage than I could ever hope to pump out. But, I don’t think I can see anything other than another leech protecting the same blood, even if that leech wasn’t draining that blood like I was. I could see in his eyes that he didn’t care for Tavi and Scratch in the way I did..I something more, something more passionate and loving, especially with Tavi..to tell you the truth, I think I saw love in his eyes, not the love that a father would give, that love being what I gave to the two mares. But, it was the type of love that someone who have for a woman that lets them know that they want to spend the rest of their life with that woman...and that was the kind of love I saw..though, I’m not sure how Tavi feels, don’t even know if she knows about it.

Then, I felt something, I can’t quite explain it but it felt kind of..tingly, almost pleasant even. I opened my eyes and saw that I was surrounded by a light, purplish aura that smelled of lavender. My eyes went wide as I lifted my arm and saw that my hand was disappearing, the rest of my arms following suit.

“What the fu-” I remember stating before my mouth also disappeared, I looked around frantically, falling out of the bed only to discover that my legs were gone too, but there was no sign of injury or even pain, they were just gone. It even felt like I still had them as I could feel them, I could feel the hard, wooden floor my hand was on even though I was laying on a carpet, my hand was somewhere else. I tried to call out to someone, anyone but all that came out was nothing as my entire body disappeared and I blacked out.

I regained consciousness after a while of having to suffer more of that dark, terrible abyss that was known as being knocked out cold. I remember my hearing was fuzzy, my sight blurry as I could have sworn that I was being talked to by someone.

“Come on, Valentine,” was the first thing I could eventually make out, the voice was that voice I had fallen for in a non romantic way(I cannot stress that out enough), it was Scratch.

“..S-Scratch?” I remember asked, looking around as frantically as I could but my strength was not up to snuff. But then, I turned to see a face that caused my eyes to widen and my nostrils to flare...lavender…

“Yeah, It’s me Val,” Scratch said in a tone that was meant to calm me down as my gaze locked onto the form of a purple mare who was looking at me with confusion, intrigue even. The sight of both the horn on her head and the folded up wings on her back indicated to me that she was, as Scratch and Tavi put it, an Alicorn. “Now..you need to get a grip and calm do-”

But, it was too late, for as she almost finished those words my fist had already landed onto the mare’s cheek with force. This sent the mare tumbling back, letting out a shocked gasp of surprise as she feel onto her rump, her back against the wall with a few books falling onto her in an almost comedic fashion now that I look back on it. But, at the time my blood was pumping and my face had a scowl as I reached for my belt, the dagger that Tyson had given me a few days ago still being in it’s spot.

Now, it was most likely due to the connection made from the portal and this pony smelling of lavender, but I could tell you now that at the time I really did think that this alicorn was going to harm me and my friends, something I couldn’t let happen. But, before I could get the knife out of my belt, the feeling of hands trying to stop me. “Valentine!” Vinyl shouted as she failed to hold me down onto the table, me falling off as a result. “Calm down!”

“What!? Who is she?! What happened!? Where are we?!” I remember shouting at the top of my damn lungs, getting up and leaning onto the table I had fallen off of, a pain in my hip.

Scratch then proceeded to slap me in the face, hard...I can still feel the sting and taste the blood even as I write this. “I said..calm..down,” she said slowly, her tone cold and almost distant.

“But..Lavender..” I remember coming up with, and now I think I deserve that second slap she gave me, I can still taste the blood in my mouth from the force of it...ow.

“Val, stop being stupid,” Vinyl said as she helped me to keep my balance. “That mare you just knocked out was Twilight Sparkle...Princess of Friendship.”

This news caused my eyes to widen, and I think I would have punched myself in the gut if I had known this sooner. “P-Princess?” I asked again, I think my voice sounded like a scared eleven-year-old who just found out that he had messed up big time.

Scratch chuckled. “..Yep, Princess,” she repeated with an almost sadistic smirk on her muzzle. “Let’s hope you’re lucky enough to not be thrown into the dungeon for a billion years and made immortal so you can stay there for all of your sentence.”
I remember quaking in my boots, the same feeling of dread I had gotten from the forest so many days ago coming back to my mind as I looked at the body of the Princess of Friendship.

Thankfully she was still asleep/knocked out, her closed eyes and slightly open mouth giving her a rather cute atmosphere about her, an adorable, rather petite mare. This, combined with how Vinyl’s voice had come back to it’s normal, not sadistic way, I began to calm down slowly, the paranoid and stressed expression on my tired face slowly turning into one I would feel while sitting down at a fire with my best friends and loved ones.

But, that calmness and almost enlightened experience fell short when the sound of the door opening, Vinyl and I snapping our heads towards the noise. What stood there was a feminine figure, around five foot seven inches in height, though I’m not entirely sure if I could even guess the weight (not to say she was fat or anything mind you, she was actually pretty slim, I’m just not good at seeing the weight on someone). Her hair came down to her shoulders, the auburn colour of it sticking out against the crystal walls and floor she stood on. What confused me was the different coloured irises she had in her eyes, the one being her left eye was purple while her right eye was a crimson that stared into my very soul, even though her face didn’t give off such intent.

She opened the door fully from its half closed state and walked inside, her face turning from concern to shock at the sight of the knocked out Alicorn. “What the hell…?” she asked, turning her gaze from Twilight to us, me in particular and I could have sworn that she muttered “Why do I feel like I known this man?” under her breath. I stayed back, not sure how to handle this situation as I had long since learned to never underestimate anything in this world.

But, instead of this girl rushing to attack me like I had expected, she carefully walked up to us, looking confused but not hostile just yet. In this instance of temporary calmness, I noticed the small white horns just sticking out of her hair, indicating that this girl wasn’t human. Her attire was a long white dress that ended just below the knee, a red and blue ribbon tied around the waist with the the bow of the ribbon being visible at behind her. The actual dress itself had designs that seemed strange to me then and even now. The skirt had a stylized electricity pattern all over it in blue. I wouldn’t say that I found it particularly pretty, but I’d be lying if I said it looked bad.

“You know..” Vinyl stated as she suddenly went for the door. “I think I’ll let you two get to know each other for a bit,” she explained, thankful they couldn’t see her frightful expression as she exited the room.

I would have been angry with her like I am a bit now, but to be honest I was too busy feeling scared out of my mind as I looked at this girl. “Um…” I remember saying as I tried to regain my composure. “..W-who are you?”

She seemed to just stare at me silently, almost as im she was examining my entire form. She then looked up into my eyes before answering with. “My name is Alexandria Kijin, who are you?”

I looked at her for a second before sighing, leaning onto the wooden table I had been lying on. “Is it strange that for some reason I remember myself having two separate names?” I had asked, looking tired and honestly just glad I had just met someone who was the closest thing I’d probably find to a human.

Alexandria stood there, silently for several moments, I could see shock on her face as she stared. After what felt like forever in that long silence she spoke up. “I’m not sure if this is the same thing,” she started, looking up at me with confusion on her round face. “But, I know that I’m Alexandria but for some reason, I sometimes feel like my name is suppose to be John Grant. I don’t even know who that is.”

This, sent what I can only recall as the feeling of lightning going off in my mind as memories came to me. The scene was unfocused at best with blurry outlines of figures all over the damn place. One of the figures came up to me and put their..hand, I guess? On my shoulder. “Come on Clay, just a few more stalls and we can go back to the hotel.”

“Sure, whatever you say, John,” I remember responding, though I didn’t actually speak it, but it also felt like I was smiling when I knew I had the biggest frown on my face at the time. As soon as the memory came to me, it left, leaving me dazed and confused as the last time it had happened. I looked to her, sighing before I began. “..I know what my actual name is, I know I’m Clayton Bigsby..but for some reason I don’t give that name when I am asked..I give Benjamin Valentine,” I explained.

As I said my explanation, Alexandria’s eyes widened with surprised, at the name of my actual name. “I know that name...Clayton,” she said, looking confused by all of this. “But, I swear that it’s not my memory. I’m really confused.”

“Trust me, Kid..so am I..” I said with another sigh. Looking to the ground. “..I remember a John Grant..maybe we somehow knew each other or something? Um..before you had the sex change, though,” I added, somehow managing the joke in this confusing situation.

Unfortunately, the girl’s face made it look like I had offended her, something I regret now but you know how it is, can’t change it. “As far as I’m concerned, I’ve always been Alexandria and never once have once have I been a guy.” she began before a soft rustling sound could be heard behind her. Then the strangeness of the situation became even worse as a small, doll-like thing arose from behind the girl, landing on her right shoulder..and it looked quite upset let me tell you.

“Are you being mean to Alexandria?” it asked, accusingly before said Alexandria turned to it with a small smile.

“Relax Shanghai, there’s no reason to hurt him,” she reassured before she turned back to face me, her facing showing that she had calmed down a bit, something I was very thankful for even today. “Maybe I somehow have the memories of this John Grant person?”

“..I..I’m not sure what to think..” I admitted, looking at her for a small while before looking back to the still unconscious Twilight. “Can you help me get her to a couch or bed?” I remember asking.

“Sure,” Alexandria responded to me as she then began to walk over to Twilight, me following just behind her as I looked very confused at the situation. That thing, Shanghai was it? I can’t really remember to be honest so let’s just stick with that. Anyway, it was looking at me, giving me a kind of look that was filled with curiosity, almost as if she had never seen a..me before. Though, I don’t actually know whether or not she has.

I then went to Twilight’s upper half, taking her forearms into my hands while Alexandria took her legs, hoisting her up into the air. I looked around for a place to put her. Not wanting the most likely pissed off alicorn to wake up with a sore back, I avoided the table I had awoken from as we then moved around carefully, like we were both holding an oversized baby in our arms.

Eventually, we settled(well, more like, I settled, I think Alexandria didn’t speak throughout that entire time) on the couch, gently placing Twilight’s body atop of it and letting her rest. “..What now?” I remember asking.

Alexandria looked as if she had just now had an opportunity to speak up after thinking long and hard about something, like a kid would when they try their best to think of an answer and are all like, super excited when they get picked, you know? Actually, now that I think about it was that what she was like? Maybe not, I’m probably wrong. But anyway, she finally spoke up. Saying. “Well, we’ve only really talked about our mental problems, with names and memories that aren’t our own. Why not introduce the real us to each other now? You can start.”

The thought honestly scared me, I had never really told anyone about myself before, or at least to an extent as I thought she would probably like to know. After sighing and giving myself a mental peptalk. I began to explain how I was born in a world in ruin, a place where demons and monsters of all kinds roamed the world. A world where it was survival of the fittest in most cases.

I told her about my daughters, how I loved them so much, that I would do anything for them. I mean anything. This meant killing someone, stealing from someone less fortunate, when I say anything, I mean anything to keep them not only alive, but also happy. As I was explaining this, I could see a small change in Alexandria’s expression, though I wasn’t sure what it was at the time. But now, as I sit in this chair and write this, I can only guess it to be...Jealousy? Envy? One of the two.

Look, I really don’t like talking about myself, I really don’t and I’ve already had to go through that with telling her my life story. So, I shall skip it, not only for my own happiness and good will but for yours as well, I don’t think reading several journals to get the basis of my life would be very exciting.

Alexandria starts by explaining that she comes from a place called… well it was some long Japanese name, where Japanese mythical creatures called ‘Yokai’ are a common sight. She goes on to explain that she's actually half human, and that her mother (who has some Japanese name I can't be bothered to try and remember) is some kind of Yokai with a long name. She says that her mother was a terrible person, locking her away from the world since birth. She goes on about the hardships she had to go through because of who her mother was, but I'll spare you the long explanation just incase she finds this and so she won’t try to kill me.

After this, we simply just stood there, or at least that’s how I remember it. We kept standing there with not much to say, having already told the other their life in it’s entirety. After a long while, I noticed that the sun had gone down. “It’s getting late,” I remember noting.

Alexandria looked out the window as soon as I noted this, her eyes going wide with surprise. “Jeez, you’re right,” she said with small frown. “I need to get back home.”

I remember seeing her turn to leave, opening the door and almost leaving. Then she turned to me. “I wish I could help you find a place to stay, but I’ve already been out too late as it is,” she then said before leaving.

With not much to do, I then went back to the cold, hard table I had woken up on, after a few minutes, I remember falling into a dreamless, restless sleep.

End of Chapter 6