Bucking Bronies

by Kiwi-Brony

Not another fanfiction!

'My little pony'

"Good god, why are you making me watch this!?"

'My little pony'

"Oh hush up and give it a chance!"

'I used to wonder what friendship could be'

"Yea. . .like you told me to give 'Twilight' a chance"

'Until you share it's magic with me'

"Ok. . .not my best move."

'big adventure, tons of fun'

"Ya think?"

'a beautiful heart, faithful and strong'

"So because of one mistake your already judging this"

'sharing kindness, it's an easy feat'

"Yep"

'and magic makes it all complete'

"Seriously? I mean come on it was one mistake, I thought with Robert Pattison in it. . ."

'Do you know, you are my very best friends'

"That it would be a good movie?"

"Well. . .Yeah"

You know when I came over to my best friends house the last thing I expected is to be sat down in front of a computer screen and be bombarded by pastel coloured ponies, it actually unsettled me that even he could fall this far into Metrosexuallity. I grudgingly watched the show, and every so often he would sprout up with some trivia or some other non-sense I seem to care less about. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, otherwise 40 minutes of my life that I would never get back, it was over.

"So what do you think Tom!?" He grinned at me but all I could muster was a deadpan stare

"I think I am going to vomit" I put my hand over my mouth and pretended to retch

"Oh come on! It wasn't that bad" He said looking between me and the computer

"Chris. . .it was, you know now I won't have to put sugar in my tea for about two weeks because of the ammount of sweetness that I just witnessed" Chris looked down, he seemed to look sad?

The look made me question what I just said, it wasn't tough or brutal. At least I didn't think it was. I stared at him and a few moments passed before I had to say something.

"H-Hey. . .don't be so down, it's kinda killing the mood" I smiled though I must admit forcefully.

"It's kinda hard not to be. . ." He looked up at me, I swear one thousand rebutles and phrases which involved the term 'harden up' rushed through my head but being the kind hearted man I am. . .ok seriously I can't do this, this is exactly what left my lips

"What the fuck? Are you sad because I don't like these damn marshmallows waiting to happen?"

Smooth right? Of course his reaction, was something that would be expected in the yellow character. . .Cruttershy. . .Flotterbye? I don't know I wasn't really concentrating on the damned thing. However his actions as I mentioned were something you would expect in the character. His looks didn't help a lot, if you confused him for a woman I wouldn't blame you, even with his short caramel hair his soft features (Thanks to moisturizer) made him look more feminine. I must say he looked good, far more well kept than myself, shaggy brown hair, clothes I just throw on usually something to do with jeans. But his most enduring quality are his eyes, soft hazel eyes. I swear I have lost myself in them more than once, I hated them because they stirred something in my chest. To be honest I preferred to be the calm sort of distant one, of course that meant I only had a few friends. Didn't bother me though, my friends were true and that was all I asked.

"Sorry. . ." I finally managed to get the courage to speak again, I cleared my throat "That was rather. . ."

". . .Stupid, careless, hurtful, douche bag like?" He finished giving me a stern look, I couldn't help but smile and let out a chuckle. The tension quickly dissipated and we shared a laugh. As much as we traded barbs we could never be angry at each other for more than a few days. A good sort of friendship I think.

After what seemed like a long chat about nothing I finally decided to ask about the ponies, of course I used my delicate tact to ask.

"So whats with the gay pride cartoon?" He looked at me with disbelief and I couldn't help but ask "What?"

"How did you get that from ponies?" The stare he gave me was something that almost unnerved me.

"I-I err. . .the blue one. . .I forget her name" Not that I learned it to begin with. "She just seemed so stereotypical"

"Stereotypical?" He shook his head " Tom, Tom, Tom, you should know that Stereotypes does not make you something, in fact your the one who told me that"

"And normally I would agree. . .with myself." I had to think about that "But I am thinking she is genuinely a dyke" He started to give me a look that was something between, your an idiot and 'Bitch I am gonna smack ya' I cleared my throat again "But her behavior coupled with that rainbow Hai-"

"Mane" he interrupted

"Riiight. . .mane" I shook my head "It is just too much of a coincidence, if she were pink and blue I would think she was a Tomboy or something"

"Actually Rainbow Dash was originally suppose to be those colours and called Firefly, but you know legal issues got in the way"

I only half listened to what he said because I was sure I misheard what he said "I know that was. . .'fascinating' but did you just say Rainbow Dyke?"

He punched my arm, rather hard "DASH I said Rainbow DASH!"

"OW! Motherfucker!" I rubbed my arm "Ok ok Rainbow Dash. . .geez I only misheard you"

"Right. . .and I only tapped your arm" He gave me a sly grin, all I could do was roll my eyes and laugh

The rest of the time I spent at his house was used playing vidoe games and talking about random things, at the end of the day though I told him I didn't care about his new found fandom, it just wasn't my thing. He smiled and said something along the lines of "Thanks for at least giving it a try."

"Eh? No problem" I shrugged it off, thinking about it actually. He seemed pleased with the outcome, though I guess there is a Stereotype with my little pony not that I actually care, personally I think if you enjoy something and it doesn't hurt anyone else well then go ahead and reveal in it.

Now you have noticed that I have been in a sort of monolog, or whatever, about my friend and I sitting down and watching this show, stay calm there is adventure and excitement ahead, and yes it does involve. . .err Twilit Spazzel, Pinkie Fry, Flotterbye, Rainbow DASH, Applerack. . .ok now I know I got thoes wrong, and I think I am missing one, but I never EVER have been good with names. I wasn't concentrating on the show either. . .so yeah.

It was getting late, so I decided to go home. He and I said our good byes and I walked for home.

I didn't live far, but still it was a good twenty minute walk before I reached my street, reaching my flat I noticed that my flat-mate in the window was watching something on the computer, it made me do a double take, it was in fact what I thought.

I walked in and greeted him with a half-casual smile "Hey"

I have never seen a mouse move so fast in my life, he seemed to jolt awake as he clicked away some tabs on the computer. The reaction actually surprised me, I have walked in on him watching full on hardcore porn involving bondage. He never even flinched when I walked past, but now he was scarred?

I swallowed a little "So how was your day" I said folding my arms looking over his shoulder

"I-It was good!" he said leaning closer to the screen, trying to obscure my vision

"You feeling ok?" I said leaning forward, so many ideas on how to torture him came into my mind.

"I'm fine! Never been better actually" I paused and looked at him, there was sincerity in his voice

"You talk to Chris lately?" I asked wondering, if there was a connection, it turned out I was correct when I got his answer

"Yea actually. . .he and I have a lot more in common than I thought" He smiled a little

"A lot in common eh?" I shrugged "So. . .you both enjoy a show about brightly coloured ponies that teached leasons about. . ." FUCK! I couldn't remember for the life of me what they were actually about. Magic. . .cupcakes. . .probably something about glitter. Well that was going to fail so I hazard a guess ". . .err friendship?"

When I refocused my attention on Micheal he had a look of horror on him that weirdly filled me with glee.

"W-What are you talking about!? Ponies HAH! That's so gay!" I gave him a look when he said that and he realized that he slipped up "I-I mean girly!" He laughed nervously

"Riiight" I patted his head "There there, I know your secret, and frankly I don't care"

He gave me a look that was both skeptical and hopeful "Chris told me about it today" I said after awhile of silence

Micheal let out a sigh of relief "I thought you were having me on"

"Why would you think that?" I said with a sly smirk, he just ignored me

"So I assume he showed you?"

"Showed me what?"

"Friendship is Magic!"

"It is?"

"Don't do this to me now!"

"Fine. . .yes he showed me, no I am not a fan"

"Wha. . .why not?" He said, I swear he had a bit of malice in his voice

"Just not my thing eh Micheal" I shrugged

He nodded "I see. . .well I can't force you to like it, Perhaps Sarah would though?"

Sarah is an interesting woman. Almost Goth but too Happy, dresses all in black, but I swear she as the same sort of energy as a caffeinated Squirl, her smile always brightens up her clothes. I actually kinda liked it, it was quite the contrast and made it some what original. Her eyes actually helped pulled it off a good deep green that was highlighted by her dyed black hair, unless one of her pink highlights got in the way.She was quite knowledgeable about certain subjects like the macabre and magic, it was interesting to hear her talk about it, she would often say that she would experiment with magic. Micheal was the total opposite of her, probably why the are so perfect for each other, his hair was dirty blonde though he never grew his it out, his eyes were blue and he would dress much like how I would, open a draw, see something, assume that it is clean and then chuck it on. He is a good guy, a little slow sometimes but still quite intelligent. He and I would sometimes have fairly decent conversations about history and philosophy then he would talk about women and sex, of which two subject I try to avoid the former because I don't know much about women, the latter was because it disturbed me about how much he knew about ropes and whips.

Actually one day I came home to find them having sex in the lounge, I won't go into details but they were brave enough to use blindfolds and assorted 'toys' of varying size. They had a game going where Sarah would guess what the object was without using her hands, in fact she was bound up and well you have three guesses on how she managed to do this and the first two don't count.

I was so traumatized by what I had seen that it took Chris three days to get me out of the room, eventually he bribed me with Ice Cream.

"Well I guess I could ask her tonight." Micheal said pondering

"She is coming over tonight?"

He nodded his head and smiled

"Well try to keep it down this time, I still have nightmares about the first time I caught you in the act" I caught them a few times after the first and it would not be the last.

"I promise nothing!" He laughed.

I sighed and laughed with him. He decided to talk about the ponies for alittle bit, I paid as little attention as possible. The conversation took a turn when I mentioned something about Donkeys then we started to talk about politicians.

Soon there was a knock at the door and incomes Sarah. She smiles and gives Micheal a huge kiss and then gives me a hug.

"Hey guys!" She claps her hands in excitement "I brought over my stuff!"

"Stuff?" Micheal and I say in unison

She nodded and grins. She pulls out a small black book, a box that she said was filled with ash and salts and then places something next to those things I thought it looked like a gold pocket watch but she said it was actually an object that collected magical energies.

"Magical Energies?"

"Mhm!" She smiled "All of nature gives of energy, this 'watch' gathers it so I can use concentrated energy rather than my diluted energy."

"Diluted energy?" I shook my head "What are you talking about"

"Well a long time ago, Earth was connected to many worlds. . .humans could use magic because of the connections to these other realms. Though not many of them interacted. But the magical flow between the realms gave humans strength." She nodded her head in a 'matter of fact' manner

"I see. . ." I looked at Micheal and he just shrugged

She continued "But one day the connections were lost and all the realms, save a few, lost touch with thier magic, us humans included. However, we were tainted and as the generations passed nature held on to some of the magics, and some humans have more than others, but it doesn't really manifest it's self."
"Oh. . .so by diluted you mean our power dwindled because we didn't have the 'magical energy' passing through us to recharge us."

She nodded enthusiastically "Yep!"

I nodded, keeping the cynical and rational thoughts at the back of my head. Truth be told that made more sense to me than many of Earths religions.
Micheal stood up and stretched "Well that was fascinating and all but I feel like it is time to go play a 'game'"
"Oh Oh!" Sarah smiled broadly "Can we play the guessing game!"

I shuddered and stood up, Micheal grinned at me "You going to bed as well"

"Umm. . .yes" I nodded to emphasis the point. But not until I find a pair of large earmuffs

---

As it turns out it was a pleasantly quiet night, the loud music seemed to help resist any intruding moans and squeals. I walked out into the kitchen to find that they were already up and talking about something or rather about pipes, which left me somewhat confused.
I took out a bowl from the cupboard and then raided the pantry, found some corn flakes and made myself a beautiful bowl of expertly prepared cornflakes. I sat at the table and began munching on my cereal before they went soggy.

They continued to converse, a few time mentioning their little game last night. I used all my will power to not throw up my breakfast. Then Micheal found an opening in the conversation to mention his precious little ponies.

"PONIES!" She cried out "My favorite is Pinkie Pie!"

Micheal laughed and I just blinked, they got into a full on conversation about ponies, I actually left for about half an hour and got myself showered and clean, came back and they were still talking. Then came what was probably one of the craziest things she has ever said, and she has said a lot of crazy things.

"Lets open a portal to Equestria!" Sarah shouted

Now I don't know if you have ever laughed at a stupid idea but I did. . .I howled and actually stopped breathing a few times, my stomach started to hurt and I was crying tears of joy.

Micheal stared at me he looked a bit mad, I was laughing at his girlfriend "T-That sounds like a. . ." he paused watching me roll on the floor laughing ". . .like a wonderful. . .awesome idea Sarah!"

Sarah squeed and clapped her hands "I'll get my supplies!"

I finally managed to get a hold of myself and she rushed out of the room. I got a glare from Micheal

"What?"

"You don't have to be. . ."

"What? . .realistic, look she wants to open a portal to an imaginary world. . .hey I could just laugh at 'opening a portal' but hell to a land of ponies that is on television. That. . .that just takes the cake!"

Sarah returned "There is cake!?"

Micheal shook his head "No hun. . .there isn't"

She looked a little down but then shrugged and got to work on a 'portal' pouring salt and a special type of ash on the carpet
"Your doing the vacuuming when this is down" I said looking at Micheal

He started to ignore me, even when his girl friend is crazy I couldn't help but admire the way he supported her.

A knock on the door broke me out of my thought process and I went to answer it

"Hey Tom!" Chris smiled and entered "I brought over Assassins Creed Revelations!"

"Awesome! After Sara's little experiment we can play!"

"Sara's here?" He looked at me with a sly grin "You still have nightmares? "

"Only every waking hour" I smiled and laughed

Chris laughed and walked towards the lounge "Whoa"

I stood beside him and couldn't help but repeat what he said, in the middle of the room was a a circle but instead of a star in the middle, there was a white moon on blue background one half and a orange sun the other.

The curtains were drawn and all light was extinguished save from a candle that was held by Sarah on the side of the ring, she was chanting something which sounded somewhat like Latin, but I wasn't sure.

Chris and I took a seat beside the ring and looked at each other then Micheal, who gave us a Shrug.

The chanting came to an abrupt halt and then she turned the candle upside down before letting it touch a bit of that black ash. It ignited and then encompassed the circle. It was at this time that I relised that it was not black ash. . .it was gun powder.

She is insane, I believe I actually never used the word 'insane' for her. . ., actually it wasn't until later I discovered that she was more like her favorite character than I ever knew. . .or ever wanted to know.

Back to the trail of fire. So my blood ran cold when I saw it pass by me, several thoughts ran through my head like 'I am going to die, not only that but Chris and Micheal are going to die! AND THE CARPET IS RUINED!'

The fire reached the center of the circle. I closed my eyes waiting for an explosion, but after about two minutes nothing happened. I opened my eye and found myself slightly disappointed, if I was going to die at least it was going to be in some cool fashion. With my one eye open is looked around the dark room. My jaw hit the floor when I saw a light blue ball of. . .I don't know what to call it really, energy seems to plain, I dunno perhaps for the sake of it I will call it glowing plasma, kinda like something you see in a lava lamp really. But the longer I stared at it. . .the more I felt at peace, all my memories of anger and sorrow melted away, all of my self doubt and loathing disappeared. For the first time in my life I was not conflicted, I had nothing to fear. My thoughts were all positive, and for a single second I felt like I could tell myself it would be alright, that. . .what I wanted in all the world would be mine.

What felt like eons were actually minutes, I managed to shake myself out of this. . .trance. I noticed the others were just as occupied with this feeling. The light faded with time though and left all of us. . .slightly depressed. Even Sarah with all of her energy seemed down.

"W-What was that?" I asked finally

"It was. . .a connection" Sarah said just staring where the light had been.

"A connection?"

She nodded and smiled a little when she looked at me "Yes, a connection to Equestia"

I blinked had it not been for the blue light I would of immediately doubted her so instead I decided to say the obvious

"But Equestria does not exist"

Her smile faded and she stared at me, she had an odd sense of seriousness about her "You would think so, but that ball of light proves otherwise, my spell worked"

Chris and Micheal began to stir as if the light was still there then just now faded. I continued to stare at Sarah

"W-What?"

"There was a connection, Earth and Equestria were connected for a moment of time. That energy we felt was the warmth and power of Harmony"

I couldn't speak, I wanted to tell her that it was impossible. That it doesn't make sense. That all of science and logic screamed against this. But I felt that warmth. . .I saw that light.

"What causes me to worry is when I opened the portal I could feel others doing the same."
"Others?"

She nodded "Yes be it coincidence or fate several other people used the same portal spell. If they didn't we would be in Equestria."

Half of me celebrated the fact we weren't in Equestria. The other half revealed in curiousity wondering what it would be like.

"Urgh. . .What happened?" Micheal rubbed his eyes

"Nothing hunny!" Sarah had returned to her bubbly self.

I glanced over to Chris, he was rubbing his eyes. "I feel really good" he said
Micheal and Sarah both agreed, I was, however, not feeling good.
---

Several weeks had passed by after what I dubbed the 'Plasma Incident'. I had asked for more information about the portal from Sarah but she just gave me wild stories instead.

It pained me to admit that there was something else out there, something invisible and untouchable. I didn't even have hard evidence, in fact I had no evidence aside from that blue light I had witnessed. It occurs to me that this is maybe what Religious people feel like.

I finally decided to let it go. Just to leave it be, it was of no consequence to me.
". . .several other people use the same portal spell. . ." Her words echoed in my head and I cursed my memory.
At least Chris was coming over today, he would help me get out of this funk.
I was in the kitchen making a cup of tea, waiting for Chris to arrive. I stirred in the sugar and added the milk. I heard a thump come from the lounge.

"Oh hey Chris" I said thinking he had let himself in. I sipped my tea and walked towards the lounge.

"So!" I started to say "How are yo-" When I walked in the door I paused lying on the carpet were two brightly coloured ponies. I started to shake, the tea leaving the sides of the cup I was certain I lost my mind. So I took several steps back and took a deep breath. I walked forward again only to see not two but one pony lying on the floor. Maybe I was only half crazy. I looked around and then cautiously moved forward. The single pony on the floor was purple with what seemed to be a star on it's ass. I coughed when I realized that it was from Chris's stupid show. I turned back towards the Kitchen.
"HI!" A bright pink pony screamed at me

"GAH!" I fell backwards and the cup of tea went flying into a nearby wall
The pony was on me like a bullet "My name is Pinkie Pie!" She squealed at me

I was so stunned, I did not know what to say (A first to say the least) She then thrust a hoof in my direction and as an automated reaction I gripped it. She started to shake my hand violently, so much so that I felt it almost break.

"Whats your name!?"

"I. . .I am Thomas. . .Thomas Blackridge"

"ItissoawesometomeetyouIthoughtitwouldbefunto visttwilightandgiveherapartybutnowIhaveanewfriendtogiveapartytoosonowyouandtwilightgettoshareaparty!"
I just stared at her and after her little speech she stared at me. Her wide eyes seem to penetrate my soul. It both unnerved me and gave me a sense of calm. A knock at the door pulled me from my staring contest

"I win!" She shouted

"Tom?" Chris said walking through the door "Who else is her-" He stopped and stared at the scene the was in front of him.

Pinkie moved from me to him in a flash beamed "A NEW PARTY GUEST!" Her yelling seemed to wake the purple unicorn.
She started to stir and she slowly got to her feet. "W-What happened" She said a hoof touching her forehead

The pink pony took a massive breath "WellmerarityapplejackrainbowdashfluttershycameovertoseehowyouweredoingafteryoufelloverIcametogiveyouapartysoyoucouldfeelbetterbutwhenwegottoyourhouseyouweredoingawickedglowingthingyitwasooooprettythenyousplodedandwecamehere!"

Chris and I stared at the pony. I was frowning but Chris had a grin on his face.

Twilight didn't seem to notice Chris and I as she stared at Pinkie, who was bouncing up and down obviously excited about the prospect of a party.

"I-I 'sploded'?" Twilight asked

Pinkie nodded

"W-Wow I ummm. . ." She seemed to look around ". . .Where are we?"

"In my flat" I said looking between the two

"Oh sorry sir I didn- GAH!" She turned to face me and when she did she fell over not expecting I surpose. . .a human.

"Don't scare her!" Chris shouted at me and I growled back

"It's not like I did it on purpose! In fact they startled me more. . .I lost my favourite cup" I let out a sigh and looked at where my cup landed pieces of it were spread around the impact, the tea leaving an awful stain on the carpet.

Chris walked over to Twilight and smiled, I swear behind that smile was a child meeting Santa Clause.

"Are you ok?" He asked

She stared at him and then she let out a breath "I-I am fine"

Pinkie bounded over to Twilight and grinned "We are in a new world!"

"New World?" She stood up and looked around "T-Thats impossible"

"I would say the same, but calling myself impossible would be weird"
Twilight looked at me, and I stared at her.

"Do I have something on my face?" I asked

"What are you?"

"Me?" I pointed to myself

"The both of you!" She was getting frustrated.

"Oh well. . .I assume I am human, the same goes for Chrisy. . ."

". . .Don't call me Chrisy. . ."

". . .Over there."

She looked between the two of us. And it looked like she was thinking about something.

"I never heard of 'humans' before." She finally said looking down as though she was ashamed of that.

"Doubt you would have. . .our species have never interacted."

"But now we can!" Chris said a grin on his face.

"And we can have a party to celebrate!" Pinky shouted

"YEAH!" Chris and Pinky screamed in unison.

Twilight and I just sighed

"I am glad Sara's not here, the room would explode and implode at the same time."

"Sara?"

"A mate of mines girlfriend" I said with a shrug the pink pony and Chris were talking about something or rather then I looked at Twilight

"You drink tea?"
"Yea" She nodded
"How do you take it?"
"No milk two sugars."

I nodded and walked into the kitchen, the situation was settling nicely and I decided that panicking or screaming like a little girl would be of little to no help. I took the cups from the shelf and got some tea bags. My thoughts drifted a little as I stared out the window waiting for the jug to boil.

'There was a connection, Earth and Equestria were connected for a moment of time. . .' Sara's words echoed in my head for the second time that day, it was starting to scare me.
"A connection to Equestria?" I said out loud

"You know about Equestria?" I turned my head around to see Twilight. . .studying me.

"I know of it. . .Chris would know more about it."

"How do you know of Equestria and I don't know anything about this. . .place" Her eyes narrowed slightly, obviously suspicious. I didn't blame her.

"In this world, one we call Earth or if your feeling dramatic Terra Firma." I swallowed a little before continuing "Your life. . .your world is a cartoon."

"C-Cartoon?"

"Do you have comic books in Equestria?"
"Yes"
"Like those but the characters move. . .come here I'll show you" I walked back to the lounge and noticed Chris and Pinkie had left, which left me a little worried.
I turned on the T.V. and changed the channel to Cartoon Network. An episode of the Power Puff Girls was on.

"This is a cartoon?"
I nodded "Yep"
"It looks so fake"
"Cartoons are supposed to"
"Does this make us fake?"
"Your standing right in front of me. . .that can't be fake"

Twilight dragged her hoof in front of her quietly thinking about the revelation that was just had.

"Don't think to hard about it."
"It is hard not to." She said looking up at me.

"I know what you mean. . ."
"You do?"
I nodded "It is a common human thing 'why are we here, what put us here, who are we?' It is all very confusing and helps with nothing."
She pondered for a moment
"The point is, I think we will have time for an existential crisis after we figure out whats going on."
"This is a valid point"

"I thought so" I smiled a little
I heard the jug click and walked into the kitchen again and started to make the tea. I couldn't help but feel that there was something wrong. Like there was a few pieces missing from the puzzle, which at the best of times was really annoying. It then occurred to me that there were more than two ponies in the group. Miss Spazzalot did mention other people. . .err ponies were present when what ever Twilight was doing went wrong. Taking the cups of tea into the lounge Twilight was laying on the couch starring at the T.V.

"Here you go" I said putting her cup down on the floor
"Thank you" Her horn glowed and the cup flew up to her lips
"Whoa!"
"What?"
"Is that magic?"
She stared at me as if I were stupid "Of course it is, don't you have magic here?"
"No"
"Oh"

I sat down on the couch with the tea in my hands. There was an uncomfortable silence for about five minutes. Then Twilight spoke up.
"I know a pony who sits just like that"
"Eh? Why would they do that?"
Twilight gave a shrug "I don't know, she was obsessed with an idea though, a creature that was bipedal, no fur, hands like a dragon or griffon" She looked at nothing in particular "Excellent musician though. In hindsight perhaps I should of payed more attention to her."
"That is why hindsight is a bitch, you always have it after you need it." I paused for a second "Which reminds me, where are the others?"
"Excuse me?"
"You know the other ponies that were with you. Errr Flotterbee, Flarity. . .other names"
Her jaw dropped as if she had been told a really bad dirty joke.
"I was so caught up with this I didn't notice! I am a horrible friend!" Her hooves were on her cheeks and she shook her head
I watched her have a small breakdown, sipping my tea occasionally. The way she berated herself was something that seemed so familiar. After about ten minutes of this she calmed down slightly

"You done?"
She nodded though she looked down.
"I doubt this will help, but you have far more pressing issues at this point in time" I sighed "You are in a new world populated by strange creatures, your lucky you ended up in my house, I doubt others of my world would be so accommodating"
"What do you mean?"
I looked at her then decided to pull back "Nothing. . .Nothing at all."
---

Comments

i like where this is going so far.
one of the things that caught my interest the most was the humor
things like "bondage,etc." being used as a context for humor is a bit creepy,but nothing i can't handle (i've seen worse,trust me)
the characters are quite well developed as well,we have the typical teenager with his carefree and not-so-selective choice of clothing
and of course the enthusiastic brony (Tom).
and a nerd,and a hyperactive girl that seems somewhat obssesed with magic.
and her boyfriend,that is somewhat obssesed in bondage and whatnot
All in all,this story has my attention so far.
Keep up the good work!

[Br2nd66]

!!!!! MMMMMMMMMOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

[Wheelwright]

Positives:
- Readable writing style. Some humor, some realistic personalities and actions.
- New transfer mechanic + Pony -> Human world rather than the usual Human -> Equestria
- Skepticism and non-fanboy mode from the main character. Good potential for observation and misunderstandings. Good fiction fodder.
- We have potential for a PLOT?!? Will wonders never cease!

Negatives:
- Off color behavior. We really don't _want_ to know details about your friend's sex life! That said, I agree it was at least kept comic and less obtrusive than it could have been.
- Reader left guessing about a lot of the environment. Is this an efficiency? A house? What season of the year? What kind of metropolis? Are these folks in school? Employed? Is it loud? Does it stink? Is it dirty? Yes, one can easily go overboard, but this was a too minimal for me.
- Mild editing issues. Nothing really major for grammar and spelling.
- Format issues. Pinkie-speak is too hard to read. Fast jabber is fine, but long sentences need some way to be broken up. Perhaps a dash at each sentence boundary?

Predictions:
- Each human is a link/anchor for pony arrival. Somebody is going to be kept sweating keeping a pony from causing a ruckus.
- Main plot will involve getting mane cast home again.
- There will be herbivore / omnivore conflict. There will be cynicism/harmony conflict. There will be embarrassing hugs. There will be a friendship report recitation.
- Goth witchery will be just as perplexing to Twilight as it is to me.

Good luck

[Kiwi-Brony]

47298
You sir, make an excellent point. I will try to improve myself with every chapter. Also thank you for pointing those things out, I probably would never have noticed them. The whole point of this is to become a better writer.

MUST HAVE MOAR!

MUST HAVE MOAR PINKY!

MUST HAVE CUPCAKES!

or... moar ponies?

[Meta Knight]

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

[Cunt_Crusader]

MOAR

DAMMIT

MOAR

RIGHT

NOW

+Human in Equestria/Pony on Earth means insta-track. Thank you and good day.

[Nerdrage911191]

You deserve it
I think a Moar is in order
MOAR

[Jeff Belinger]

I can see mysf as that guy if that happened. I would not believe it at all at first and just lock the doors, close the windows and stuff and just crash on the sofa until I figure what to do since I'm a closet briny, I got no one to help me... That would leave my parents baffled and in quite a WTF state.

[Bomber]

I'm a sucker for HiE stories, and I've read both really good ones and really bad ones, so I'm always worried when I find a new one.

I have to say: It's pretty good. I've read only two other Ponies on Earth fanfics, so this is a nice break from all the other HiE fanfics.

Keep doing what you're doing, you've earned yourself another tracker.

[SteampunkBrony]

now THAT is how you get a story going, good humor, interesting concept, and the two people who you'd think would be panicing calmly discussing their own existance over tea.

that said, i can't wait for more + tracking this story

[FlyingBiscuit]

NOw this is....
interesting.

[tokyooranges]

*tracks*
I'm rather enjoying this so far for the most part (Though, perhaps not the going into detail about certain things that one really shouldn't be going into) It's pretty amusing

[Agai_Lazen]

Wow, I have to say I'm really impressed with how this story was written.