Undertales of Friendship: Adventures and Antics

by ngrey651

In Which Sans has A Real GAS

Dear old Sans. He's always been such a good friend to me. We had similar interests, after all. Alternate dimensions, science fiction, teleportation, jokes...explosives...pranks. So many pranks. Sans the Skeleton, heavyset with a slightly demented smile on his bony features, had a way of cheering me up when nobody else could. It helped that he'd gotten a job with Canterlot College some time after arriving and in exchange for teaching some classes to the young, eager would-be magical students of Equestria's capital, he got a fairly nice salary and a house, this big, old, faintly Victorian-esque house that was, in essence, his to wreck.

OURS to wreck, really.

"don't worry." Sans would always say as the debris usually splattered all over the front yard of the house, that big grin on his face. "ol' Canterlot College will take care of it."

The college staff would mow the lawn, repaint the interior, fix all our destruction. It was a very good deal. Or at least, it was until...that week.

You see, Sans called me up, insisting that I had to come down and "get a look at my new project". He'd been working feverishly, day and night, and had finally succeeded. There, in the middle of one of the house's many rooms below an old crystal chandelier was a gigantic, burned-looking, concrete barrel with a steel frame above it, from which a chain dropped into the barrel. A hose connected the barrel to a very large, silver tank of propane.

"my new furnace." Sans said proudly. He'd made the pliers and tongs and equipment there too, all to handle molten metal. He'd made the frames to hold the ceramic furnace body, made the burner, and all of this was constructed from scrap he'd brought from the old dumping grounds in the Underground.

You see, the Underground got a LOT of thrown-away crap from humans. There'd been, at one point, this big dump site on Mount Ebott which had caved in and NOBODY wanted to go after the stuff. Occasionally people would still toss things on down there, and that was why there was a host of rather bad romance novels, FAR too many "Left Behind" products (which might have explained many of the monsters rather zealous Christian-esque upbringing), ridiculous anime that included quite a few very bad hentai pieces, video games people got easily bored of and, yes, scrap that had once been good for something but was now so banged up or cut up that it seemed useless.

Sans was good at making the useless seem useful. Smirking proudly, he gestured at the oxygen injection he'd added to the furnace. "my own metal mill. a foundry for casting any kind of metal I want. until I got the oxygen injector I had three high-capacity vacuum cleaner blowers forcing air into the furnace, but now I can make anything I want. see this?"

He pointed at the barrel as he turned it on, the roar of the furnace increasing so much I needed earplugs. "ya gotta get the propane mixture juuuuuuuuust right. yellow flame means carbon monoxide. what we want's an almost colorless blue flame. then we can melt some metal!"

So we put some metal into the silicon carbide crucible we had, a "bucket", as it were, and lowered it into the furnace. The chain holding the barrel glowed a dull, burning red, and after about five minutes, Sans pulled it out. He put it on the track, using a pair of metal tongs to grip it as I got hold of thick gloves and held the pouring shank. Sans smoothly poured the molten metal into the gray box on the floor after he set the barrel down in the shank and scooped the slag off the top, and I watched in awe. You see, the box he was using had very delicately-packed damp sand, and the object within that he wanted to mold the metal around was already inside the sand. Within three minutes the metal was hardened, and we could crack the mold open. Then...

Out it came. There within the two halves of the mold...as a big, grinning metal skull of Paps. Sans beamed even more broadly. Papyrus had posed in that sandbox whilst the mold was made, and Sans couldn't have been happier. "look at the detail. every little wrinkle and tooth. you can see the grooves of his TEETH. even the hair."

"You have hair?"

"all skeleton monsters have hair. feel my head." Sans insisted with a snigger. I put the glove off and rubbed gently over his skull, going "oooh". Sans was right! He DID have hair. His skull had a verrrry tiny, thin layer of white hair, it was almost like his skull was a plushie of some kind. Fascinating!

So we decided we wanted to make an entire metal version of Papyrus. Of EVERYONE, if we could. Then we'd post the statues out in front of the college. However, after about several days of hard work, we needed to clean off the parts to the furnace, so Sans got a huge, soapstone tub and filled it up with gasoline. You see, gasoline might be flammable, but it's very good for cleaning off old car parts, which, hey, a lot of the furnace was made from.

Unfortunately this was when things got sticky. You see, I'd installed a pump inside the washtub to circulate the gasoline. It cleaned better if it was moving but we couldn't run the pump all the time because the vapors were dangerous, and cleaning was sloooooooooow. The gas was getting dirty, we were slightly drunk off of Applejack's Hard Cider, and less than half of the parts were clean. Emptying out the parts that WERE clean and filling it up with more gasoline, Sans went to plug the pump in.

A spark jumped clean across the stony floor of the basement the bathtub was in and in an instant the entire tub of gasoline was on fire. It seemed like the whole PLACE was on fire! Of course, with all the fumes, it probably was. Sans and I ran for the basement door, the window nearby exploding as we coughed and spluttered, heading out into the backyard as people peered out of windows and over the white picket fence surrounding the house. Sans was annoyed by all this, and didn't intend to let the damn tub burn down the house.

So he focused, his body glowing a faint blue as one singular eye blazed brilliantly, and then the burning tub floated out, out the window, and high above his head as he put it down, a few minutes later, onto the driveway. Unfortunately SOMEONE had called the fire department...and they were bringing a fire hose.

"Wait, hold on!" I yelled out. "That tub's got gasoline and magnesium, you need FOAM, not water!" I yelled out.

"Squirt, we know what we're doing." The first fireman remarked, old "Rusty" adjusting the bright red cap atop his head as I cringed.

"Seriously, I'm telling you, water is DANGEROUS on a magnesium fire-"

"Step aside." Rusty insisted firmly as he and his men held up the hose, Sans groaning as he stepped back...the water blasting forth and engulfing the tub. Well, a violent explosion rocketed through the air, the water hitting the burning magnesium, breaking down into its component parts, hydrogen and oxygen. The magnesium and gasoline exploded and rained down like burning hellfire from above, and everyone who'd gathered around screamed for dear life, bolting as fast as they could for cover.

Balls of magnesium, great balls of fire were raining down upon the yard, almost beautifully blue-white, the firefighters staring stupidly in shock. "Shut off the water already!" I yelled out, tearing at my hair and moaning, yellow eyes bulging wide. Chunks of burning magnesium were barreling down everywhere, some people's houses had big, huge holes now, a few people were running away from burning bushes and large craters were every where. "You're CANTERLOT. Why in the holy hell aren't you guys trained for chemical fires?!"

Rusty cringed. "Oops."He said, as they got to spraying foam next. Unfortunately even the foam wasn't working so well. They would spray a spot, the fire would seem to be out...then it would explode again. I'd count the seconds. The most was four. Then, of course, they tried the tub. Two firemen's horns glowed as they lowered the burning tub onto its side to try and let their buddy spray foam inside...not realizing the tub STILL HAD GAS INSIDE IT.

Well, now the YARD was on fire. What a flaming evening! Fire trucks were screaming. A smokey haze hung around for days, and Sans ears were ringing. But he didn't stop laughing until a half an hour later when they FINALLY got the fire out, and the chief had had a long talk with me. He couldn't really do anything, though. Especially since most of this had been their fault.

The good news was that we finally finished up the metal pieces and soon, we had the big statues we wanted all set up in front of Canterlot Castle. But the house has never stopped smelling like gasoline ever since that day.

Sans and I get along great. He's become like my second father...

Oh. Dad's calling. Gotta go. Bye-bye, dear diary...

Comments

[Lakeguy]

This chapter was exciting, but whose POV is this supposed to be told from?

[EightBitBrony]

8214354
I believe it was the half changeling Squirt... though I wonder then who his dad is now given his adopted dad left at the end of the last series. Cannot wait to find out though!

[Lakeguy]

8214415
Got it.