Falling For Our Stars

by bobdat

Chapter Five

Chapter Five

The next fortnight was one of the hardest I had ever endured at Buckingham. The schoolwork was getting easier, what with it being the lead-up to Hearth’s Warming Eve and all of the teachers laying off the homework to let us put up decorations in our dorms or write out traditional cards for each other. There was even a school postage system, where if you wanted to send cards to somepony you could give them to an adorable first year pegasus who would flap around and make sure they all got to the right ponies. I sent all of mine as soon as they started doing deliveries; I liked to decorate my wall with them and the longer they were up, the better.

Actually, I didn’t send all of mine. I didn’t send one to Fly, Miri or Rarity. I didn’t know what to put into any of them. In the end, I decided to wait until I got theirs first. Then I knew the appropriate response. I didn’t want to seem like I didn’t care, nor did I want to seem like I was overly-attached. Presents were the same, although because everypony was short on bits we just enacted a present-exchange system. I had to get something for Miri, and decided to gift her my old pair of faux ears. She was the only pony I knew who could possibly get away with wearing them.

But none of this was the difficult part. What was difficult was having to be around Rarity but be totally unsure about my feelings. She didn’t seem to be acting any differently on the surface, but sometimes I accidentally caught her eye and we both blushed, or I bumped into her in the corridor and she suddenly looked a little shy. The rational part of my head was screaming at me that Rarity was just a friend and I was being stupid, but the rush of happiness I felt when I saw her mane bounce or her excited smile. Some ponies said that there was nothing like a summer romance, but I was starting to strongly suspect that a Hearth’s Warming romance was even better.

Not that I would admit it was anything like romance. Anyway, she probably just thought of me as a friend.
But it was oh-so-hard to keep myself from staring at her while she worked on my dress for the ball, while childish thoughts of how pretty she would look in her dress, and how maybe just maybe she might want to dance with me, were running through my head. I had to look away hastily and pretend to be making paper chains every time she looked up. But once she turned her attention back to the fabric, my eyes wandered.

The last few days of school were mainly spent playing seasonal games in lessons and not really achieving anything. I had two essays to do over the break, along with a whole pile of homework. And I’d spent fifteen minutes on the phone to my parents about how I was going to get back home; we’d eventually agreed that I’d get the train, but Mum insisted on coming to pick me up from the station. No doubt so she could interrogate me about how my work was going and read my end-of-term report as soon as she could.
The winter ball was on the Saturday night, and then everypony was going on Sunday. When Saturday finally arrived, Rarity was most definitely not okay.

“Please stand still Fly. This will only take a few moments,” she said irritably, poking another pin into the dress.
“Ow! Rarity, that’s my coat you’re poking,” Fly snapped back, shifting away from the pain and accidentally pulling a hem loose.
Rarity scowled. “If you can’t stay still and be a big pony for five minutes, then this dress will look just awful.”
The two of them stared each other down while Miri tittered away in the background.

“I wish Rarity would lighten up a bit. Up until this week she was fine about the dance, but now she’s suddenly uptight,” Fly complained to me after I’d had my final fitting. Rarity had gleefully informed me that I was back to my regular weight, which I mainly put down to worrying, but it put me in a good mood anyway. I just wanted all of my friends to get along.
“Don’t be too harsh. She did make that dress for free,” I reminded her, my eyes straying over to the white unicorn who was now efficiently sewing up my hem.

Fly grabbed my hoof and dragged me into the corridor without warning. I yelped and tripped, ending up in an untidy heap on the carpet.
“Hey, that wasn’t very nice!” I said, craning my neck to get another look back into our dorm. Fly shut the door and marched towards the stairs. The atmosphere had taken a turn for the tense, and I wondered if my siding with Rarity had upset my best friend. I followed Fly, already formulating an apology and feeling terrible.

She led me into the grounds, which were frosty but still not snowy. We’d lost all hope for a white end of term.
“Cat, tell me what’s going on,” Fly demanded, walking slowly around the perimeter path. The gravel crunched underneath my hooves and I felt cold, but I had never kept anything from my best friend before and if I ran off, she wouldn’t forgive me.
“How do you mean?”
“Every time I’ve spoken to you in the past two weeks you’ve just been distant. I thought it might have been because of your school work, but now you seem to be over that. So why have you been acting like I barely exist?”

Her hot words burnt me and my ears dropped. “I haven’t been acting like you don’t exist...” I said quietly, looking at the ground.
“You have. I haven’t even had a card from you yet. My card for you has been written for weeks and I haven’t been able to give it to you, and now it’s the last day.”
I sighed. “It’s a secret.”
“So you’ll tell me?”
My eyes were screwed up, half in thought and half because I thought I might cry. “I don’t know how to tell you.”
“Did you tell somepony I’m afraid of the dark?” she asked, her tone changing to one of hurt. I could feel her big frame suddenly deflating, like I’d betrayed her.
“No! Of course not.”

If I told Fly, I could trust her never to tell any other pony. But if I told her, it might come between us. If it were a colt I liked, I would tell her in an instant, but the fact that it was a filly was holding me back. I didn’t want her to think I was a freak or anything, or that I was creepy.
“Cat, if you don’t feel you can tell me, then that’s okay. I just want to be here for you.”
I cried, a lot. Fly was too good at this whole ‘being nice’ thing. I just wanted to be wrapped up in her feathered wings and not think about anything ever again.

“I... I think I l-like R-Rarity,” I eventually said between sobs. I studied her expression through watery eyes, watching from disbelief to to shock to comprehension in a flicker.
She hugged me again. “So that’s it... why didn’t you think you could tell me?”
I wanted to scream at her for being so perfect. Why did I have to end up with the best best friend in the entire of the pony world?

We carried on walking while I choked back my tears and managed to tell her everything about the trip to Maneminster. Nearly everything.
“So you only realised when that stallion suggested it?” Fly asked, her big eyes fixed on me. “Or did you know before that?”
“I don’t know... I think maybe I knew but didn’t want to admit it. You know what ponies would think,” I said, truthfully.
“I won’t tell anypony. Promise.”

I kicked gravel, hoping my outpouring of tears wouldn’t ruin my face for the upcoming dance. “Sorry I haven’t been paying you much attention lately. My head has just been in about ten different places,” I said apologetically, feeling bad.
Fly laughed. “Was this while your eyes were fixed on Rarity? Don’t think I didn’t notice.”
I blushed deeply and couldn’t meet her gaze. “Was it that obvious?”
“Only to me, I think, because I know you so well,” she said kindly. “You should really try not to do it so much, though. Otherwise she’ll notice.”

Fly paused, but only for a moment. “Are you going to tell her?”
I had no answer for this. “I don’t know. Maybe. I had half-thought about telling her at the dance.”
“So soon?”
I shrugged, not taking my eyes off the path. “If there was a moment that was right.”
The pegasus nodded. “Well you know I’ll be there for you if you need me.”

I spent most of the rest of the day fidgeting and switching my attention between magazines and complaining about my mane and books and packing my suitcase and despairing about my mane. An hour before the dance, Rarity told me to go into the bathroom so she could do my mane and make-up.
“Don’t worry Fly, I’ll get to yours afterwards. But as I’m sure you’ll agree, Cat’s mane needs much more work than yours.”
Rarity locked the door behind her and I sat awkwardly on a backless chair, feeling my mane and tail being tugged gently by the unicorn’s magic.

“Okay, so do you have any ideas about how you want your mane and tail done? I have a plan that goes with your dress, but if you’d prefer another style?”
I was alone in a room with Rarity. And the door was locked. And she would be dressing me. Eep.
“Cat, darling? Are you feeling okay?”
My reply was a squeak. I could see a pair of terrified eyes staring back at me in the mirror.
“Do you need a drink of something?”

Sipping water helped me feel better, and I eventually made it clear that she could go right ahead with my mane and tail. And then she set to work, sliding hairpins in here and elastics in there, twisting and spraying. The mirror didn’t reveal too much of her technique, so I just sat back and hoped she couldn’t read my thoughts.
“Your dress is just perfect now. I’ve done all of the sewing and it should fit just right, but you need to be careful not to move too quickly in it. The underside is rather delicate and anything more than a light trot could tear it,” I was told. “I’m going with light make-up of course, our coats are so similar that I’ll just use what I’ve got in my bag. Anything too dark will just look awful.” I tried to nod but my mane was being too tightly held back, so I just smiled and hoped she understood.

She put some kind of fabric over my head and told me to go and get Fly back. I looked weird with the stuff on my head, but I got Fly back.
“You look funny, Cat,” Miri told me, looking up from her magazine.
“Did you get to see Weight again? I forgot to ask,” I said, sitting down heavily on my bed and simultaneously wishing the evening was over and feeling terribly excited for the dance.
“Yeah, but he didn’t seem that interested. I think I might dump him,” Miri said without looking up again. “There are plenty more fish in the sea.”
“True. I think you’re better off with a colt who suits you.”

Miri could sometimes be difficult to handle when it came to colts, so I hoped I hadn’t said the wrong thing.
“You know Cat, you’re right. I need to look for a colt who suits me instead of hoping I suit him. I am a sophisticated and educated mare after all, and they’re all just thick-headed colts.”
I giggled and hoped it wasn’t going to dislodge my manestyle. “Good idea.”

Fly came out of the bathroom, her manestyle now wrapped up in the same fabric as mine. “I don’t know what this is but Rarity says it will help,” my best friend said, pointing with a hoof. “She wants you back in there though for more torture.”
Rarity was doing her hair expertly with her magic when I stepped back inside, butterflies having a panic attack in my tummy. “Okay Cat, I’ll take the fabric off but then your mane and tail will be done, so if you need to scratch your neck, do it now before I let your mane down. I blushed and rubbed the side of my neck with my hoof.

Once done, her horn glowed and pulled the fabric away. I barely recognised my horrible old straight mane, which was now curled and styled to perfection. I moved my head and it moved just the right amount, not like my old mane which swung there irritatingly.
“Oh... wow.” I felt a surge of happiness directed towards my mane and the mare responsible for it.
“I’m glad you like it, darling. Now, I’m going to help you into your dress if you don’t mind. I need to make sure it sits right.”

This was the part I had been dreading. I mean, I don’t normally wear clothes, but after years of accessories and dresses, not wearing anything was a little... well, embarrassing. I mean, everypony could see my cutie mark! I felt a blush spreading through my cheeks.
“Oh my, if you’d rather do it yourself, I’m happy to step outside,” Rarity said, her cheeks turning pink.
“No, it’s okay. Not like it’s anything that I’m not normally wearing, right?” I said, mainly trying to justify it to myself.
“Okay then.” Rarity unzipped a bag containing my dress, which was a midnight black and shimmered in the light. “Don’t look too closely, I want you to have the full effect when you see it on you.”

Getting into it was no easy matter. I had to carefully direct my hooves through intricate leg holes and try not to get my tail snagged. All in the cramped space inside the bathroom, and with Rarity fussing over the hems and batting my hooves away when they strayed towards the decorations.
It was worth it when Rarity fastened the last catch and told me to look into the mirror. We both gasped at the same time.
“Rarity... I...”
“It’s quite alright darling. I’m glad it suits you so well.”
“But... it’s magnificent!”

It was all I could do to stop myself from stamping my hooves happily and squealing.
“Now, just be careful when you move, and go and get Fly. I need to finish her too.”
I did my best to emerge serenely from the bathroom, trying not to let the hems trail on the carpet.
“Oh my!” Fly said, the look on her face saying it all. Against my wishes, I blushed again. “You look amazing.”
“Thank you Fly, but you really need to tell Rarity. Anyway, she wants you now.”

As Fly was probably going through the same transformation I had, Miri buzzed around me like a bee, marvelling at my dress and manestyle from every angle. “Rarity just keeps getting better and better. Once she has a boutique, her dresses will be fit for the finest ponies in the whole world!”
I couldn’t help but agree. The dress fitted perfectly, showing off my slender forehooves and the silver necklace that my mother had given me for my sixteenth birthday. The rest of it disappeared into folds of black, seeming somehow mysterious and yet reflecting my mane. The tiny decorations must have taken Rarity hours, but when you looked up close you could see that the decorative stitching was as good as the dress itself.

Sitting down was no longer an option, so I just admired the dress while Miri continued to fuss over me, tucking a stray hair back behind my ear.
Fly came out of the bathroom next, looking equally as amazing as I did. Her dress was a kind of pale green and was made out of some light material, which somehow did a great job of offsetting her extra height and playing on her natural beauty.
“Fly... I can’t believe you look so-” I started, but Miri bounced past me with a squeak.
“Oh, by Britannia! This is fantastic! You look so good, I wish wish wish I could be there at the dance with you!”
Fly looked a little embarrassed as she made her way over to her bed to find shoes. Flats, of course. Any animosity between her and Rarity was forgotten as Miri did her bee act again.

I checked the clock and it said it that the dance was about to start. We’d leave in about ten minutes, so I let Miri hunt around in the wardrobe for my black heels. Rarity had told me not to bother getting new ones, and I could see why. The ones I had were perfect, and attention would be on my dress, not on my hooves. Once the heels were on, and I was a few inches taller, I did a few test walks. Everything seemed perfect, so long as I didn’t move too quickly. Rarity was right about the underside, it was rather restrictive.

We waited patiently for Rarity to finish. She could be a perfectionist at times and was normally five minutes behind schedule. But when she came out of the bathroom, her hair waving its way down her neck and finishing at the neckline of one of the most fabulous dressed I had ever laid eyes on, it didn’t matter what time it was.
The three of us were speechless.
“Well, what do you think?” Rarity asked, the slight smile saying that she probably already knew. The dress was a gentle pink, with the darker lines breaking it up into a truly great piece of fashion. I had no idea how she’d come up with it to suit her so well.

“Rarity, it’s just unbelievable,” Fly managed.
“Super-amazing!” Miri piped up, before launching herself forwards to get a good look.
I just mumbled incoherently. “Mane... dress... wow.... just... mane....”
Rarity seemed flattered by all of the attention and fluttered her eyelashes. “I’m glad you like it. Let me get my shoes and we can go down to the dance.”
“I am so coming with you,” Miri asserted. “I don’t care what they do to me, I have to be there to see the moment you three walk in.”

We traversed the corridor in single file, anxious not to crease our dresses, with Miri leading the way happily. I was afraid that I might have a mishap on the stairs but I managed to keep my balance, and as I heard the strains of music coming from the hall my tummy was starting to feel like something was churning in there.
“Okay girls, now just take it slowly. We can walk in together. Fly, you go on the left,” Rarity said, before straightening her back and carrying herself gracefully. I did my best not to let her down as Miri trotted over to the doors and held them open for us.

It’s safe to say that the next few moments were some of the best I can remember. Everypony turned to look at us, there were gasps, sighs and squeals, and not just a few jealous glances.
“Remember girls, grace and poise,” Rarity reminded us in hushed tones as we headed for a group of ponies I knew from class, skirting around the empty dance floor.
“Hi everypony,” Fly said, her cheeks burning from the attention. I realised that the only reason I wasn’t blushing was because I was so distracted by how amazing the moment was. But now everypony was going back to their conversations and I felt a little silly. What if my mane was lopsided? Or I’d taken a short step?

Rarity reassured me with one of her brilliant smiles. “You were fantastic darling. And even if I say it myself, you look fantastic too. Definitely one of my finer creations.
“Yours is the best though Rarity. It’s... beautiful.” I could feel my blush as I said the words, my mind slipping into its highest gear and wondering whether that was too much.
“Why thank you. That’s very kind,” Rarity replied, her cheeks matching mine. “But you’d better stop with the compliments or my colour will be ruined.”

There were a few colts around at the dance but they seemed to be mainly interested in their fillyfriends rather than anypony new. Not that this bothered me; the boost to my self-esteem that my dress had provided had brought me to terms with my crush on Rarity. Yes, I was admitting it to myself. She did look beautiful in that dress, and I made a resolution to tell her how I felt before the evening was over.

The first of the formal dances began. I couldn’t dance with Rarity because I’d only learnt the steps with Fly (Rarity and I were the female partners, Miri and Fly were male). Rarity waved her hoof at us as we stepped into the dance floor, trying to remember the right steps and wondering whether formal dancing was really part of the ‘essential curriculum’. Of course, since Miri was barred from attending (some of the teachers had firmly escorted her back to the dorm), Rarity was partner-less and I could see she was a little disappointed not to be able to show off her dress on the dance floor. I ached to go back and ask her to dance with me, but I knew that could wait for later.

There must have been some kind of fashion magic going on, because not only did Fly and I manage to execute all of the dances perfectly, with only a few minor wobbles, but we also managed to do it all without ruining our dresses. Applause rang out around the hall as we finished, and I made my way back with fly to the sidelines to try and find Rarity as some more upbeat, contemporary classical music began to be played by the quartet on stage.
“Have you seen Rarity?” I asked Fly, who shook her head. I desperately wanted to find her, but it was too difficult to move in the dress, so I decided to stay put and wait for her to come back.

She was a very long time in coming back.
“Probably being asked about her dress,” Fly told me as we headed back to the dance floor for a few minutes. “You know, being that she made it herself and everything.”
Rarity’s dress was definitely the best one at the dance, and it made sense that she would be inundated by curious ponies asking her. I accepted this explanation and enjoyed myself dancing with my best friend, laughing at each other when we pulled strange faces. My eyes kept strafing the sides though, looking for Rarity.

“Fly, I’m going to go and find Rarity. Maybe I can rescue her from some inquisitive ponies,” I eventually said, not wanting my friend to spend the whole dance stuck with annoying questions and no time to have fun with her friends. Despite my dress, I started to work my way around the hall, darting in between dancing ponies and keeping my eyes peeled. She had to be here somewhere, probably stuck in the middle of some giant group of annoying ponies. Oh well, maybe I could get her away.

There was a bounce in my step as I walked. The dancing and the dress had made me happy, but I was still a little nervous about confessing to Rarity. She could still say no. But I would feel better if I told her, and maybe it would stop me from staring at her so much. I needed to tell her, and if she was ever going to be happy to hear it, it would be if she was feeling the same way as I was at the dance. I was practically bouncing around in happiness.

And then I saw her.
At first, I couldn’t tell what she was doing. She seemed to be having a conversation with somepony in a weird dress. Then I realised that the dress was actually a suit, and it was being worn by a colt. Why would Rarity be talking about dresses with a colt? Wait, what was her tail doing? It couldn’t be... wrapped around his? No, it was probably a mistake. I mean... what were they doing... why was she leaning closer to him...
NO!

I felt every last piece of that happiness that had been building up inside me turn into total and complete sadness. I shut my eyes tightly and set off at a respectably fast pace for the doors, drawing looks and comments from those around me. I burst through the doors and broke into a gallop, heading out into the cold night with hot tears running from my eyes. I wanted to be anywhere but there, as far away from Rarity and... and him, as possible. I could feel the dress tearing and breaking, but I didn’t care.

My legs gave out when I reached the far side of the grounds, and I just sank into a heap and felt terrible. I cried with loud sobs, not caring about the tears rolling down my cheeks and my crushed manestyle. My heart was crushed just as much, and there was nothing I could do but cry.
“Cat?” a familiar voice said. I was too busy sobbing to reply, but I felt comforted that she was there. “Don’t cry Cat.” I found myself being pulled into a rather wet hug. I let out my emotions onto Fly’s shoulder, my back shaking. “Why are you crying?”
I sniffed. “Rarity...” was all I managed before bursting into tears again.
“Come on Cat. It’s okay.”

I only calmed down once the cold had started to make me shiver. Fly was all for going inside, but I didn’t think I could face Rarity.
“She probably has no idea what’s going on. After all, you didn’t confess to her, right?” Fly said, trying to reassure me. “Just make an excuse.”
Her logic was sound, but something was holding me back. I felt terrible for ruining her dress, and I almost felt as if I must have failed her for her to shun me like that. Even if she had no idea what she’d done.
“I... I just can’t.”
“Come on Cat. You’ll have to eventually. You’ll feel better once you’re back in our dorm.”

There wasn’t much chance of that, but I felt bad for Fly being out in the cold, so I agreed and gingerly got back onto my hooves.
“That’s it. We can go nice and slowly,” Fly said, using one of her wings to gently wipe my eyes.
I smiled and did my best to feel better. I really was glad I had such a caring friend as Fly. She helped me all the way back up the stairs and into the dorm, where Miri was waiting eagerly.
“How did... oh,” Miri said, her face falling when she saw mine.
“It’s okay Miri. Cat’s just a little upset,” Fly said, guiding me towards the bathroom so I could clean my make-up. “She’ll be fine soon.”

Miri, for all of her flaws, showed superb self-restraint in not poking further. Fly shut the door behind us and I let out a huge sob.
“Now Cat, let’s get this make-up off,” she told me, sitting me down and lowering her voice. “You must be feeling really terrible.”
I nodded and it was perhaps the most pathetic nod I had ever made. I felt like a useless pile of pony parts who could do nothing but feel useless. “I... I don’t know how to feel.”
“Well, I think that you need to be the amazing pony I know you are and stand up to this. It’ll be tough but you’re much tougher,” she said, her voice soothing me as she used a damp tissue to clean the worst of my ruined make-up off. “And anyway, you’ve got the whole of the holidays to get over this, and I know you will.”

I was glad it was the holidays, for the first time. I wouldn’t have to see Rarity and have to face her. Maybe if I stayed in bed until the last moment tomorrow, I might not even have to speak to her.
“At least you didn’t confess to her. That would have made things worse,” Fly said, stroking my mane. “You’re fine. Do you want me to give them an excuse?”
Another one of my pathetic nods.
“Okay. I’ll say you felt unwell and got upset because you’d have to miss the rest of the dance.”
“Thank you,” I croaked. Now my throat was dry and sore because of the crying. My overall uselessness caused Fly to smile and hug me more tightly.

“You’ll be okay. Don’t worry.”
“Fly... can I tell you something?” I’d lowered my voice to little more than the slightest whisper.
The pegasus smiled. “I need to tell you that you should get out of that dress. But tell me anyway.” She started to unzip my dress, which was awkward because I was just lying on the floor and feeling miserable.
“I... you can’t tell anyone, ever. Super best friend promise.”
“Super best friend promise.”

I took a deep breath. which turned into a series of little sobs. I couldn’t cry another tear.
“I... I... kissed Rarity.”