Falling For Our Stars

by bobdat

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

“Cat, darling, have you got a minute?” Mum asked, poking her head around my bedroom door. I was just idly flicking through a magazine and wondering what to do, so I shrugged and smiled.
“Yeah. What is it?”
Mum sat next to me on my bed, her lips drawn into a serious smile. “Well, your father and I were talking.”
As usual, millions of possibilities flashed past my eyes. Please let it be that we were moving house.
“Well, you’re going to start your final year at Buckingham in a week, and it’s very important that you work hard.”

“Okay...” I said, not sure where this was leading.
Mum tried a sympathetic smile this time. “Are you okay at Buckingham? We’d be happy to let you attend a local school if you thought it meant you could concentrate better.”
“No, no, Buckingham is great,” I said, trying to cut her off. She carried on regardless.
“Or, we could move you to a different boarding school. There are a few with really good credentials, could help you get into a top career.”
“No Mum. Buckingham is fine. It suits me.”

She nodded. “Well, if you’re sure.” I smiled at her, glad the ordeal was over, but she didn’t budge.
“Now, Cat, have you given any thought about what you might want to do after you finish school?”
I had, of course, but I didn’t really know how to reply. I wasn’t sure what she was expecting. “Er, yes. A bit.”
“Well?”
“Well, I was thinking about maybe going to study music. At a music school, or something,” I tried, hoping it suited her because it was pretty much the sum total of all my thinking.
“That sounds acceptable. Does the school give you any advice on achieving that?” Mum asked, patting my leg with her hoof.

“Er, yes. There’ll be lots of stuff once I go back. Plenty of help,” I said, assuming it was probably true. “I just have to pick places to apply to.”
“Oh, your father will be able to help with that more than me,” Mum said, sounding relieved. “I was worried you didn’t have any idea what you wanted to do. I wouldn’t want you to drop out or anything.”
Ignoring the extra pressure that Mum had just given me, I smiled back at her. “I’ll probably have a clearer view during the next holidays,” I explained, glancing at my magazine.
“Well, you could as if you know what you’re doing,” Mum declared, getting up and heading for the door. “Do speak to your father about selecting places to consider.”
“Thanks Mum,” I said, returning to my magazine and listening to her shut the door.

After a week of sun on holiday, I’d found myself getting bored at home. Fly had urged me to get on with visiting universities, but I ignored her and just lounged around the house. She was right of course; the deadline for applications was less than six months away and I still had to go to auditions. Nearly all of their visit days were gone and I was only procrastinating because I didn’t want to face up to the idea of having to audition. The one thing I hated most was performing in front of other ponies, and an audition was like the ultimate refinement of this. I’d even flirted with the idea of doing a subject other than music, but I didn’t like my chances of getting in.

We’d get the results of our end-of-year tests when we went back to school. I was already convinced that I would be dropping history, but we were supposed to have a meeting with a member of staff to confirm which subject we were discontinuing. There was a nagging concern at the back of my mind that this meeting would be used as an opportunity to ask me about my university applications and visits. I had half a mind to just lie and pretend I had visited one, just for an easy life. It would do nothing to appease the guilt I was feeling, though.

There wasn’t enough time to schedule anything in the week or so that remained of the holidays, so I forgot about it and focused on the last excitement of the summer. River had written and invited me to visit her in a few days. It seemed rather close to the new term to be worthwhile, but it was the only chance I was going to get to go on a proper date with her that didn’t involve Buckingham in some way. I agonised over outfits before eventually choosing one that Rarity had picked out, since her taste was impeccable.

Of course, telling my parents about the visit had been a fiasco.
“So, you’re going to visit a friend from school, but it’s not Miri, Rarity or Fly?” Mum asked suspiciously.
“Yes. I’ll get the train so it’s fine, you don’t have to do anything,” I said, too quickly.
“And you’re staying... overnight?” Mum added, narrowing her eyes.
I sighed. “Yes, it’s too far to go there and back in a day.” It was a lost cause, and I was getting flustered.

Dad saved the day. “Well, I’ll give you a chance. We trust you. But be warned; if you do go off and meet some colt, we won’t be able to trust you in future.”
Since it wasn’t a colt, I wasn’t really lying, but I still felt bad. But not bad enough to call off the trip. My outfit consisted of a white bow in my mane, which drew attention away from the way it just hung limp, and then a contrasting black dress which was relatively simple. Enough to look cute without giving the impression that I was going to a funeral.

The train ride was a long one, I didn’t make that up. I passed the time reading magazines and looking out of the window, mainly daydreaming about River. I couldn’t put my hoof on what it was but for some reason I wasn’t feeling as excited about our date as I thought I would. Staying there overnight was a big step, and I felt a little apprehensive, but it just didn’t make me tingle with excitement like it would have a few months ago. I had no idea what to expect and my nerves were getting worse as the train got nearer.

River met me at the station, and I must admit, I relaxed a bit when I saw her. She looked fantastic in a cherry blossom pink dress, and I think I may have blushed a little.
“Hi Cat,” River said, hugging me. I felt her breath on my neck.
“Hi River,” I replied, pulling away and checking to make sure I didn’t crease her dress. “Shall we go?”
“Okay,” she said. As we walked, I wished my saddlebags weren’t between us so we could walk a little closer. “We can stop off at my house first to drop off your stuff. I thought we could go for something to eat.”
“Sounds good.” I felt a little shy. It had been a while since we’d seen each other, and I wasn’t entirely sure where our relationship was.

We went shopping in the afternoon. I didn’t buy anything; I was trying to save up my money for when I got back to Buckingham. River seemed a little embarrassed to buy anything if I wasn’t, so we ended up getting cupcakes from a food stand and eating them as we walked.
“I’m glad you came,” River told me, our tails gently twisting around each other. “I’ve missed you over the summer.”
“Me too,” I replied, nuzzling the side of her face. “It seems like ages since exams.”
“The results come out soon,” River told me, betraying some emotion. It seemed like a very long time since that rainy day when I’d got mine.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure it’ll go great,” I reassured her. “If I managed to pass, you will definitely have done it.”
“What about your exams from this year?” She asked, looking at me.
I shrugged. “Not sure. I think I did well in music, which is important, but the rest I don’t know.”
“What about university?” There it was, hitting me right in the guilt.
“Haven’t been to any. I’ll do it in September,” I told her, not wanting to discuss the subject. We turned a corner and headed for what looked like a park. My cupcake was being neglected, so I took another bite.

River giggled. “You have frosting on your nose.” I stopped and lifted a hoof to wipe it off, but she was quicker and licked it off, surprising me. With a giggle, she trotted away, leaving me rooted to the spot with a blush.
To finish the cakes we sat on a bench under a tree. The weather looked like it was going to deteriorate, and River assured me she’d got an umbrella big enough for both of us.
“Are you looking forward to going back?” River asked me as we looked out across the park. She didn’t meet my eye and I think she was dreading the exam results, like I had.

I shook my head. “The final year is the hardest. I’m not looking forward to all the extra work,” I explained, before taking another small bite of my cake and chewing thoughtfully. “And all the exams.” River’s head found its way onto my shoulder and I smiled, even though it had started to rain.
“Cat?”
“Yes?”
“I’m worried about this year.”
“You don’t need to be.” I put my hoof on hers. “You’re much better at school than I ever have been.”
She just looked at me without smiling. I knew from experience that she would feel much better once she’d opened the envelope and confirmed her success.

We went to the restaurant that River had picked out at about six o’clock, even though it was still raining. In order to fit under the umbrella we had to walk close together, which I liked. I decided to just eat a salad because I wasn’t too hungry, and River copied me. We were sat facing each other, and I could tell that her nerves were eating away at her.
“Don’t worry. You’ll feel better soon,” I said, trying to get her to smile a bit. “Everypony always does.”

I did my best to take her mind off it by discussing things other than school, and she slowly opened up. This mainly consisted of funny stories about stuff Miri had done, but River seemed to enjoy hearing about the new Head Filly. The rain still hadn’t subsided when we finished, so we shared some ice cream for pudding, and then dashed through the puddles back to our bus home. My mane stayed dry and my tail only got a little bit wet, so I thought it was basically a success.

Once back at River’s house, the nerves started again. Parents, as usual, were the main problem.
“Listen, I haven’t, you know, actually told my parents,” River confided as we walked the last hundred yards to her front door. “So don’t give anything away.”
“So they think I’m just one of your friends from school?” I asked.
River nodded. “Also, they think you’re in my year, just to make things easier to explain.”
That didn’t really make me feel any less nervous, so as we walked inside I just hoped that I wouldn’t get asked any awkward questions.

“You must be Cat,” River’s mum said to me, smiling politely. “I’m Meadow. I suppose you’re probably feeling just as nervous about this week as she is.”
I hesitated, which she thankfully took as me being shy. “Yes, it’s pretty scary.”
“Wheat- er, River’s dad has just popped out to get some milk,” Meadow said. “He’ll be back in a minute.”
Wheat turned out to be a nice-looking stallion who wore glasses. He shook my hoof gently and smiled, but seemed tired. I asked River about him when we ascended the stairs to get to her bedroom.
“Oh, he works a lot, so he’s usually tired,” she explained. “Mum is a bit bossy sometimes.”

They reminded me a bit of Fly’s parents, but that thought was driven out of my mind when River opened the door to her room. Everything was... feminine. Pink wallpaper, lots of pink books, pink bed covers.
“Oh wow. Nice room,” I said, stepping inside so she could shut the door.
“I hate it,” she admitted. “When I was younger I loved having everything pink, and there hasn’t really been a good opportunity to redecorate.”
“I think it’s cute.” I giggled, glancing around and taking it all in.
River smiled. “I’ve got some snacks and things. We can just watch TV or look at magazines or something, so long as we’re quiet.”

I felt my face tingeing with red and I gently rubbed a hoof on the carpet. “Um... where am I, you know, um, sleeping?”
River went red and looked away. “I have a camp bed thing. Let me go and get it.”
I was too embarrassed to say anything so I just let her go, my mind moving at a million miles an hour. She had obviously thought my question meant that I didn’t want to share her bed (which, incidentally, was a comfortable but narrow-looking single bed), but that wasn’t necessarily the case. I didn’t know what I wanted to do really, but coming right out with it like that had made things awkward.

“River, I didn’t mean...” I started when she got back, carrying a disassembled pink mattress thing. “Look, I didn’t mean that I wanted to, you know.”
The cute-looking pony in front of my just looked at the floor and seemed embarrassed. “It’s okay.”
“I’m just not sure what I want. It’s... I’m nervous.”
“Me too.”
I helped her set up the camp bed, occasionally catching her eye and giggling a little. I have no idea what her parents must have thought was going on.

There wasn’t much on TV so we just worked our way through bad horror movies (who would have thought that River was into slasher films?) and read magazines. The camp bed was at an awkward angle for seeing the screen so I sat on her pink bed for a while, getting a bit bored of old magazines. We watched together for a while, laughing occasionally at the really cheesy bits, before she found my tickling spot. Of course, I probably don’t need to tell you where that led. Suffice to say that by the time the film was over, we were under the blanket, cuddling up quite close.

We put the light out after her parents went to bed, but it was uncomfortable for both of us to sleep on the one bed, so I moved back to the camp bed. I wasn’t sure whether River was feeling disappointed by this; I was the older pony in our relationship, and so I was probably more interested in moving at a faster pace, but I’d always got the impression that River was more mature than she seemed. I didn’t want to let her down, but then whenever our kissing got particularly heavy I always felt nervous. In the end I just fell asleep listening to her gentle snores, not sure what to make of it all.

***

After returning from River’s house, having wished her good luck in her results, I procrastinated effectively right up until the date of my return to Buckingham. I knew that Fly was going to rip into me the moment I saw her, which was the kick up the backside that I really needed. All the way there on the train, with my parents looking tired and bored, I fretted over what I was going to say.
“Here we are, darling,” Dad said to me the moment we arrived at school, handing me my suitcase. “We’ve got to dash if we want to make the connection. See you in the holidays.” He planted a kiss on my cheek and Mum followed suit, and then the two of them dashed off. It started to rain as I sadly made my way inside.

“Toccata? Good to see you. You’re looking well,” I was told as I approached the reception desk. “I suppose you’ll be wanting a room key.”
I merely nodded and was handed a key. “Excuse me, but have any of the others arrived yet?”
“For that room? Yes, the Equestrian girl was around earlier,” the receptionist said kindly. “Radish, is it?”
The idea of seeing Rarity was causing some kind of churning in my tummy, but it wasn’t the guilty churning I’d been feeling all day. Ignoring it, I headed for the stairs without answering the receptionist, dragging my suitcase up behind me, aided by my weak levitation magic.

“Cat darling, so nice to see you,” Rarity said, throwing her hooves around me as I tumbled into the room. “I take it you’ll want one of those beds there,” she said, motioning with a hoof. “I kept Miri away from the bathroom this year, you’ll be pleased to hear.”
I couldn’t be bothered unpacking my suitcase, so I just sat on top of it and sighed. Rarity, observant as always, quickly trotted over for a hug.
“What’s the matter, Cat? You look awfully pale.”

“I haven’t done any university visits and Fly is going to kill me,” I said sadly, staring at my hooves. Rarity smelled nice, and I wanted to hug her back, but it seemed inappropriate. This wasn’t full-breakdown mode yet.
Rarity seemed thoughtful. “That is quite a predicament. Have you spoken to her recently?”
“No, I’ve been trying to avoid her.”
“I recommend speaking to her straight away. She might be sympathetic.”
I shrugged. It couldn’t be any worse than I was expecting.

Miri was next to arrive, bringing with her even more biscuits than ever.
“For stress,” she explained, stuffing them behind her headboard. “There will be a lot this year.”
“I do hope not,” Rarity said. “It’s terrible for the skin, you know.”
“Just think, only eight months until our last day ever!” Miri enthused, jumping up and down on her bed to try and compact the chocolate underneath.
Rarity smiled and told Miri to get down before she hurt herself.

I was not looking forward to the new school year, which was a familiar feeling, but this time it was for different reasons. After my night with River, I was really unsure about all of my romantic feelings, and this was the worst possible time to be having that problem. Instead of looking forward to seeing my best friend, I was worried that she was going to be angry at me. And I was afraid that my nerves would get the better of me and I wouldn’t be able to go to a music school. Nothing seemed to be going the right way.

Fly arrived last, dropping her suitcase on her bed with a smile. “Hi everypony. This is a nice room,” she said, hugging the three of us. The room was on the second floor, overlooking the school gates. Not as good as last year, but not bad. Plus, the bathroom was bigger, and my bed was closest to it. Maybe not everything was going wrong.
“Fly, I need to talk to you,” I said, swallowing my nerves. “I need your help in organising some university visits.”
“Didn’t you get some practice during the holidays?” she asked, busy unpacking her clothes.
“Um. No.”

Instead of anger, I just saw some resignation in her eyes. It hurt more that she’d known all along that I wasn’t going to do it.
“Okay. We’ll go to the library this evening and get some addresses,” she said curtly, not looking up. I felt bad and trotted back to my bed, avoiding the sympathetic glances that Miri and Rarity were giving me. Disharmony on our first night back at school was something I wanted to avoid, so I sacrificed some of my best chocolate biscuits before the room inspection later on. They disappeared very quickly and I suspected Miri.

After the inspection, which found nothing out of place (Miri was a seasoned veteran), Fly and I headed for the library. We passed a group of crying second years who had foolishly hidden their entire stock of biscuits in the wardrobe and subsequently been found out. Their dorm matron was giving them a strong talking-to, and I would have giggled if Fly wasn’t so angry at me.
The library was empty, so we picked the table nearest the rack of university information.
“Listen Fly, I’m sorry. I really am,” I said, wishing she’d talk or something and make me feel more at ease.
“You don’t have to apologise to me,” she snapped.

I paused before continuing. “I wish I’d got on with it, I really do. I’ve felt so guilty for the whole summer.”
She softened, her wings folding back at her sides like they did when she was calming down. “Sorry Cat. I just knew you wouldn’t do it and I’m angry at myself for not making you,” she admitted. “It’s your future, not mine.”
“I know, and that’s why I’m sorry,” I said, glad she was forgiving me. “You really need to force me to do these things.”

So she did. I wasn’t allowed even a moment’s rest as we trawled through the huge tomes of information, writing down the postal addresses of any music school I had an interest in.
“If they don’t have a visit day, you’ll either just have to go by yourself for a walk around, or apply without visiting,” Fly told me sternly. “Although you’ll probably be shown around a bit when you go for your audition, so it’s not a major problem.”
“That’s good,” I tried, not letting my concentration waver.
“I think we’ve got all of them. Which do you like best?”

There was a page full of a lot of information. It was hard to take in.
“I liked the Britannic College and um, the Princess School,” I said, pointing to them with my hoof. “They seemed good.”
“What about location?” Fly asked.
“Oh yeah. Forgot.” I peered at the addresses. Britannic College was somewhere in the capital, and Princess School was somewhere I’d never heard of. “Where is this place?”
“Hmm? Oh, Clydesdale? It’s way north, probably three hundred and fifty miles from here,” Fly explained. “But it’s probably only about one hundred from your house.”

“What about grades? Everypony is always talking about the grades they need to get into these places,” I said, sighing. “My grades aren’t good enough for these prestigious music places.”
Fly shrugged. “I think they’re mostly interested in your audition and your music grade. Since you’re so great at music, you’ll probably easily have a high enough grade.”
“So you think I should focus on these two?” I asked. This was a big decision.
“Why not? I’ve written some details down for about twenty of them, so if you change your mind you can always come back and look up some others,” Fly said, closing a big book. “Anyway we’d better get back, I think Miri wants us to do that ‘how was your summer’ chat.”

Well, two auditions were better than a whole load, I thought was we walked back. I might be able to handle two. Maybe. But being miles and miles from Buckingham sounded tricky, since I was under the impression that Fly was applying for Oxmare, which wasn’t too far away. I didn’t really want to be a long way away from her, so I set the Britannic College as number one choice, with Princess School as my backup option if everything else failed.

Once back at the room, we discovered Miri tucking into her biscuits with gusto.
“I thought those were for stress,” I asked, “not for snacking on.”
“I am stressed! I thought you two were going to be late or something,” she said, looking indifferent.
“You know Miri, I like your mane. Maybe you should consider a different colour?” Rarity said, changing the subject abruptly. “It would suit you if you went for a dark colour, maybe a dark brown or purple.”
Miri sighed. “I’m sticking with red. It took me ages to get my parents to accept that it was red, purple would probably give them a heart attack.”

Once Miri’s biscuits were eaten (entirely by her) and the dorm matron had been round to tell us to go to bed, the annual ‘what did you do in the summer’ discussion started. Unfortunately, Miri insisted that I went first. I think she was just bitter that I had got the bed nearest the bathroom.
“Uh, well, I went to a couple of piano concerts with my parents. I kept up my piano lessons, of course, but there weren’t any performances this time,” I said, looking around as the other three all stared at me. I knew what they were all thinking but I was going to say nothing.
“That was pretty much it.”

“No it wasn’t,” Miri said, pointing a hoof at me. “You must have seen River during the holidays! Tell us!”
“Who says I did?” I said, shrugging. “She does live a long way from me.”
“Tell us! Tell us!” Miri chanted.
Rarity brushed her mane away from her face. “The faster you tell us, the faster Miri will finally be quiet,” she said, smiling encouragingly.
“I never said I saw River!” I protested. “I don’t know what you three are thinking.”
“Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!”

I gave in. “Alright. Well, I saw her earlier this week, if you must know.”
Miri suddenly made an ‘ooooo’ noise, so Rarity threw a packet of biscuits at her. “Do carry on, darling.”
“Well, I went on the train to see her, and we went shopping and bought cupcakes, which was really nice. We ended up talking on a park bench while it was raining, before going to a nice restaurant for food.”
“Then you went home?” Fly asked in a quiet voice.
“Um,” I said, going red, and Miri seized her chance.

“Oooooooo, you slept at her house! I knew it!” she said, bouncing on her mattress.
“Look, we just watched films and stuff. I slept on a camp bed on the floor,” I said truthfully, omitting the other parts. “Nothing to get excited about.” I planned on telling Fly the truth at some other point, but I didn’t want Miri spreading gossip and I felt funny about Rarity knowing. I just... didn’t want her to. It was irrational.
“Then I went home the next morning. It was actually rather romantic,” I said. “I didn’t know it was so much fun being in a couple.”

Rarity made an ‘aw’ noise. “That’s a nice story.”
“Yes,” Fly agreed, smiling at me. “I’m glad you two are getting on well.”
“So, that was my whole summer,” I finished, rolling onto my side. “Somepony else’s turn.”
Miri pondered for a moment. “You go, Fly. I want to hear the details of you and your coltfriend.”
Fly glowered at Miri. “You know, you could just get a coltfriend of your own.”
“Could, but I don’t want to. I have too many responsibilities as head filly,” Miri said, clearly talking nonsense.

Fly simply ignored Miri. “Well, I saw my coltfriend every Saturday. We went to get milkshakes and listened to music at his house, stuff like that.”
“Did you stay over?” Miri asked. Rarity and I glared at her.
“No. I haven’t even seen his bedroom yet, since we just stayed in the sitting room,” Fly answered. “Not very exciting, I suppose.”
“Better than Miri managed,” I said, giggling. Miri glared at me and flung a pillow, which I kept.

“Do anything else interesting?” Rarity asked, looking over at Fly.
“I went for a visit to Oxmare with my parents. It looks really nice,” Fly explained. “I’m definitely going to apply.” I could tell she was blushing a little bit.
“Good luck! I know it’s hard to get in there,” Miri said, trying to brush her mane with the tip of her hoof.
“Of course, we can help you with anything you need, like an interview outfit,” Rarity said, and I nodded in agreement.

“Enough of that, though. Rarity, tell us, what did you do over in Equestria? Wait, don’t tell me your coltfriend came for a visit? Why do you all have such great coltfriends and I just have nopony?” Miri said quickly, assuming a pathetic facial expression.
Rarity held up a hoof to interrupt her. “Well, I should tell you that I broke up with my coltfriend. I think he was bored of not seeing me very much over the summer,” she said. I couldn’t detect any trace of regret on her face, but we all said how sorry we were anyway.
“It’s okay. I think I’m better off focusing on my studies anyway,” Rarity said positively. “So other than that, I just helped to look after little Sweetie and worked on my dresses.”

I should have felt bad about Rarity’s relationship not working out, but I couldn’t suppress a feeling that it was a good thing. I tried putting it down to the idea that she was better off without a colt who wasn’t committed, but I had a suspicion that it was something else. I felt a lot better knowing that she was single again, which seemed wrong.
“You all had really uneventful summers,” Miri said, waving a hoof around. “It’s probably because I’m not there to liven it up.”
“What did you do then Miri?” I asked, yawning and resting my head on the pillow I’d stolen. I planned to listen to maybe the first five or ten minutes of her super-detailed recount before falling asleep.

***

“Um, Cat? Can I ask you something?” Fly said, looking at the carpet. I was about to go down for breakfast, but I paused.
“Of course. What’s up?” I took a seat on the edge of my bed.
“You know how I said that I’ve never seen my coltfriend’s bedroom or anything?” she said, still staring steadfastly downwards and tracing little circles on the floor with her hoof.
“Oh my. Don’t tell me you have!” I said, trying to keep my voice down. “I can’t believe-”
Fly shook her head. “No, no, I was telling the truth. I haven’t. But... do you think he’ll break up with me if I don’t do stuff like that soon?”

I wasn’t really sure what to say. “Has he been asking you to?”
“Oh, no. He’s always very sweet. But he might meet somepony else who is ready for that kind of thing. I’m just not sure.” Her voice was wavering with a lack of confidence.
I put a hoof around her. “If you’re not ready, then just don’t let anything happen.”
“But-”
“But nothing. If he really cares about you, he’ll wait until you’re ready.”
Fly smiled, so I hugged her.

“I have to tell you something, though,” I said. She looked up, surprised.
“Is it about River?”
“Yes,” I giggled. “I said that I just slept on the camp bed, on the floor? Well, I wasn’t entirely honest, because I didn’t want Miri to know.” I didn’t want Rarity to know either, but I wanted to keep that fact to myself.
“So you two have... been together?” Fly asked, staring at me with an expression that seemed to, rather strangely, be something like admiration.
I shook my head. “No, not like that. We just kissed a lot. I think she wanted to do it, but I lost my nerve and ended up sleeping on the camp bed after a while.”
“Oh. Okay.”
I did my best to smile at her. “Anyway, let’s get breakfast. Please don’t tell Miri or Rarity.”