Torn

by pixelbit5

Ch 4: Party of one

I stepped up to Sugurecube corner, invite in hoof. The sun had long since gone down, leaving the town in a state of calm, cool darkness. That is, until you reached this little bakery. The place was swimming with activity, a beacon of light compared to the very few lit windows lining the streets. From the sheer quiet from the rest of the town compared to Sugarcube corner, it was safe to assume that at least half the town was in attendance. And it was still early in the night!

"Come on!" Twilight chided back to me as she flitted past me and through the open door. I stood stock still in front of the looming building, honestly a little nervous. I was about to walk right into a situation most changelings tried their hardest to avoid at all costs. Being the center of attention. I gritted my teeth and stepped forward, slowly stepping toward the candy coloured building, the sound of laughing and happy conversation slicing through me like a warm knife through butter.

But I stop. You know, maybe this isn't a good idea, maybe I should go back. Yeah, let's do that, let's go.

"Black?" Twilight askes, popping her head out from inside. "Is everything okay?" Wasting no time closing the distance between us and stopping in front of me on the dirt road. Crap, okay Peek, just go with old reliable.

I shuffled uncomfortably, not feeling right in my own shell. "It's nothing Twilight, just a little nervous is all." I gave my best meek smile. "Just want to make a good impression." Twilight smiled reassuringly and placed a hoof on my withers. Bingo. She bought it.

"Take all the time you need." she said, squeezing my shoulder. "Just remember, nopony's going to judge you if you just be yourself. Everypony here is really accepting." Yeah. Right. Just be myself. Nopony will judge me. Something tells me that couldn't be further from the truth.

Remind me, Princess, what does your kind think of changelings? What's that you say? They're lovely? So nice? Look at the pretty colours? No. Not those disgusting traitors, I meant the other kind. Deep black chitin exoskeleton, sickly green fire, fangs? Yeah. Exactly. You despise them. You hate them with a passion stronger than mere animosity.

I look Twilight in the eyes and sigh. "Yeah. Okay." I nod slowly. "Thanks Twi." I say, turning my gaze back to the ground beneath my hooves.

Twilight chuckles and starts back toward the open door of Sugarcube corner. "Just come in when you're ready." she says as she disappears through the open door.

Watching her until she disappears from sight, I steel myself. This is a bad idea. A really, really bad idea. But would you look at that, I'm already moving. One hoof in front of the other, Peek. One hoof in front of the other. Chuckling, I continue my journey forward, stepping through the threshold and into the colourful little bakery.

The room goes silent for a moment, all eyes on me, and I freeze. Uh… so… what now?

I glance around the room, seeing what has to be three or four dozen ponies, all staring at me. I quickly check to see if my disguise has faltered, but it's solid as ever. I'm stuck in place for a few seconds, standing just inside the doorway. Not knowing what the heck I'm supposed to do. I give a meek little wave. The least I could do, right? The crowd of multi-coloured fluffballs give a little cheer, most going back to enjoying the party.

Some do come over to me though, and I spend the next ten minutes or so taking questions and shaking hooves with ponies that I won't remember the name of come morning. It's… interesting to say the least.

I end up getting a lot of sympathy for my horn from quite a few ponies, most unicorns hissing and rubbing their own horns when Twilight tells them how it had happened. The most notable of which was a nurse named Redheart who hands me a prescription for some random overload induced migraine pills right there on the spot. I just kinda leave it to sit in the bottom of my saddlebags for the rest of the night.

Of course there were the overly enthusiastic 'you're my best friend now' ponies, mostly consisting of a mint green unicorn mare that I can't for the life of me remember the name of, and, of course, Pinkie Pie. The one that had set up this whole shindig, and the one that, just hours before, had been hanging from a tree, inches in front of my muzzle, and booping me on the snout. After I had given up trying to make sense of her reality breaking antics, we ended up having quite the nice conversation about whatever came to mind in between her shoving her face with scones, cupcakes and whatever she found on the snack table.

Swallowing a few jelly snakes, Pinkie seemingly decided to hit me with a few quickfire questions.

"Favourite colour!" She said intensely.

"Orange." Don't see too much orange in the changeling badlands.

"Birthday!" She almost yelled, bouncing where she stood.

"4th of September." Actually true.

"Opinion on alligators!"

Okay then? "They're… cool I guess?" Not sure why she'd ask that, but…

"Favourite colour!"

"Huh? I already…"

"Socks, yes or no!!!" Yelled the giddy mare.

"No." Definitely a no.

"Opinion on heart shaped balloons! Second favourite board game!! Do you like hats!!! What is the definition of spork!!!! WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOUR!!!!!"

"PINKIE!" I yelled at the spastic pink mare, placing my hooves on her shoulders, stopping her in her tracks. "CALM. THE HECK. DOWN."

She stops quickly, and I look around to see if we've drawn too much attention. Surprisingly though, not a single head is turned. It's like this sort of thing is normal around here. Bunch of weirdos.

"Sorry." Pinkie apologises, a tad quieter than before. "I got a bit carried away again, didn't I?"

I nod. "Little bit, yeah."

She chuckles lightly. "Maybe we could just get back to our conversation?" Pinkie asks somewhat timidly for her style. "It's been nice talking to you…"

I nod slowly, and I swear, she squees so loud you could probably hear it from across the street.

Grabbing yet another snack, evidently back to her old bubbly self, she turns to me.

"Sho, ha abaht tiz," she says through a mouthful of chocolate chip muffin. "Wheh ah oo fom?"

Okay, going to pretend that she's not spiting crumbs in my mane for a second and assume that she's asking where I'm from. "Canterlot." I say for what has to be the twentieth time. I swear, it's like the one question on everypony's list! Why can't I just tell one pony and have them tell everyling else? You really don't have to come to me every time. I mean, I am lying to literally everypony here, but what's new? But I can't exactly tell them that I'm from the changeling badlands, can I?

Pinkie swallows, thank Chrysalis, before pointing over to a certain purple alicorn, currently chatting with Rarity. "Have you met Twilight? She's from Canterlot too!" She chirps.

I nod, looking over to the princess. Of course she's from Canterlot, the population is like, eighty percent unicorn. It's actually why I chose it as my cover story. "Yeah. I'm staying with her for a while." I say, getting my train of thought back on track. Pinkie gasps so loud that I think that her jaw might just fall off of her face. Honestly Pinkie, stop it with the physical comedy, you're going to break something!

"How did that happen!?" she asks giddily, bouncing up and down lightly on her hooves.

"Well," I start. "you know the crash I was in? The one that…" I chuckle awkwardly, tapping my horn stump a couple times. She nods, her smile slightly diminished into what could only be a curious frown. "Yeah, she…" I cough. "She kinda pulled me out of that." I say quickly, my eyes sinking to the floor.

Pinkie takes a moment to process that. She smiles. "Well, all that matters is that you're okay now!" Pinkie says happily, putting a hoof around my shoulders. I swear, this filly is a sugar coated bundle of pure happiness. And it's annoying as Tartarus. Not the 'I want to punch her in the face' kind of annoying, Chrysalis no, she's too innocent. It's just a bit draining to be around her for extended periods of time. Getting massive amounts of love from her though. Ugh, don't think I've been this full in ages.

I chuckled lightly. "Thanks for all this, Pinkie."

"No prob, Bob!" She giggled and stuck her tongue out.

"It's… Black Light, but okay."

I gave a little wave before trotting off. Pinkie waves back, her hoof moving so fast that it's basically just a candy coloured blur. Heh. Weird. Given time, I'll probably get used to it. Emphasis on time.

I slink off into the crowd, weaving between the various groups of multi-coloured pom-poms that are the citizens of this town, before somehow almost tripping over some random light blue pegasus with the wildest mane I'd ever seen, passed out on the floor next to a booth, where an orange earth pony is asleep, mug of… something alcoholic in hoof. Next to them, a purple mare with a flowing red mane chuckles. "Lightweights." she chuckles and proceeds to immediately chug the rest of whatever was in her mug before resting her head on a hoof. Glancing over to me, she nods. I awkwardly nod back before stepping over the light blue pegasus, who gives a little groan and covers her head with her wings.

Clenching my jaw, I step into the crowd, the music seeming to grow louder around me, everyling's conversations blurring together into one massive noise that penetrates my head and screams into my brain. I suddenly become aware of every single pony in the small room, from the counter to the door, filling every spec of space. I step around different conglomerations and conversations, very sound amplified and echoing off the walls.

The room begins to heat up and the sound becomes almost too much. I shake my head and rub my eyes, not quite feeling like myself. I feel… uneasy, if uneasy was shoved right up to 100. I shuffle uncomfortably and my mouth goes dry. I begin to slowly back away from the crowd, my knees weak and my throat tightening. I don't feel right. None of this does. I… I… I…

A blue mare, Mrs. Cake I think her name is, steps in front of me, balancing a tray of cookies on her back. "Is everything okay, Black?" she asks genuinely. She's worried for me. I make to respond, but t feels as if I can't breathe. My chest is tight and I don't think my lungs are working anymore. I blink and cough, summoning what little resolve I have. Mrs. Cake is still staring right at me expectantly, her brows furrowing.

I nod and summon a smile. "Yeah Mrs. Cake." I fumble with my hooves for a second. "Just… stepping out for a moment, is all." She nods and gives a smile.

"Just tell me if you need anything, okay?" she says before walking off towards the snack table, not waiting for an answer. I take my chance to make my way through the kitchen and out the back door. As soon as my shell hits the open air, I instantly relax. I walk forward a few paces, letting the cool night air calm me. I inhale and my chest opens up again, my lungs finally deciding to work again. I can still see and hear the party going on behind me, but right now, it feels like it's a million miles away. Right now, it's just me and the relative quiet of the night.

I chance a look behind me, and after I assure that noling is watching, I finally let myself shift back into who I really am. As I feel my changeling fire wash over me, it brings all of Black Light with it, before all that stands in the soft yellow light radiating from the bakery is me. Peek the changeling infiltrator. Nothing more, nothing less. Gone is the soft coat and purple mane, replaced with a deep black chitin exoskeleton and transparent insectoid wings.

For the first time in the last couple of days, I take a deep breath as myself, forgetting all of the things that I had to put myself through lately, and smile.

I take a step forward, disappearing behind a tree, away from the prying eyes of the Ponyvillian townsfolk, and up into the branches, finally using my wings again. Resting on a rather sturdy limb of the tree, I look up into the night sky, and at the barely visible stars. I think of the hive, now nearing the final stages of construction after our old one had to be abandoned. I sigh and think of our queen, our home, and of all of my brothers and sisters. Well, the ones I still have anyway.

I sit there for what must have been a good ten minutes before I hear something below me. I turn and crawl through the branches until I'm facing the bakery again, peering down to the ground. There, I see a small yellow pegasus mare with a long pink mane step out of Sugarcube Corner the same way I did, and with a cute little sigh, step forward before sitting down at the base of the tree and begin carefully preening. Fluttershy, I think her name is, if I studied my files well enough. Pretty sure she's one of Twilight's friends, right?

So, making sure not to make a sound, I slowly climb out of the branches and quietly flitter down to the ground. I focus again and shift back into Black Light again and quickly skitter further away from the tree and from Fluttershy. Okay Peek, gotta make this look convincing. Initiate operation 'subtly attract attention'. Okay, yeah, on second thought, not the catchiest title ever. Eh. Problems for future me.

I kick my now recloaked hoof in the dirt, kicking up a small cloud of dirt and dust, beginning to mutter quietly, not really saying anything. Really, the key is in the muttering, have to get that perfect. It's essential. Okay, back on track, Peek, focus! Focus! Mutter a little louder, give a sigh here, wander a few feet in this direction, give another sigh, back over there… Okay! She's taken notice! Play it cool! Play it cool!

I catch Fluttershy peeking around from the side of the tree. "Oh, um… I'm sorry, I didn't know anypony was out here. Would you like me to…" she stammers, almost hiding behind her long pink mane.

I shake my head, eyes feigning shock. "No! No! I don't mind, really! Feel free!" She squeaks an acknowledgement before sitting back down where she was, but I can tell I've ruined the scene. She can't really go back to what she was doing now that she knows somepony else is watching. I can just taste the awkwardness in the air. It's… bland, to put it nicely. It almost seems cruel to just leave her to sit there, so I head over and sit close to her. Not too close, I mean, she got the name for a reason, but close enough.

She continues to stare at her hooves beneath her, but chances a glance at me every now and then. Her tail begins to swish back and forth, easily telling me that she's uncomfortable. Guess I'll have to be the one to start this thing off then, huh?

I cough. "It's… Butterfly, right?" I say questioningly. Of course it's not Butterfly, just part of the act.

She looks up at me, brushing her mane out of her face. "It's, uh… Oh…" She quickly glances away, quiet for a few seconds. "I… I'm Fluttershy…" she whispers, quickly turning away and hiding behind her mane again. Aw, she's scared! I think I'm actually feeling a little sorry for this little featherbrain!

"Black Light." I nod towards her, hoping to coax out a little more confidence from the mare.

Fluttershy gives the smallest of smiles and brushes her mane out of her face again. "I know…" she quietly says, her wings ruffling. I chuckle quietly. None of us say anything, letting silence reign evermore. I search the innermost corners of my mind for conversation topics that aren't politics. Usually works on nobles and delegates, but right now, I really don't think it's the right time.

"Did it hurt?" I hear from beside me.

Caught off-guard, I stammer a little. "Huh? I, uh…" I cough. "…Yeah." Without even realizing it, I catch myself rubbing the base of my horn again. I swat my hoof away, staring at the ground beneath me yet again. Well, at least that pebble's kinda pretty.

Fluttershy holds her tail in her hooves. "I couldn't imagine living without my wings." she says, meeting my eyes before turning away. "It must be hard for you without magic."

I nod again. "A little. Though I really didn't use it much in the first place so…" I trail off. All is quiet for a bit before Fluttershy cautiously puts a hoof on my shoulder. I look over to her and smile, really feeling the care that she has for me even without knowing me. It's… curious, to say the least. Everyone here cares for one another, even when they have no real reason to. I just don't get it! It's just… I don't… I don't understand…

I take a deep breath and let my silence speak for itself. Fluttershy removes her hoof and our own personal awkward silence continues.

…

Okay, that's it, I'm saying something.

"So why are you out here?" I ask quietly, just above Fluttershy's normal volume.

She scrunches up her muzzle and shuffles beneath herself. "I don't really like crowds…" she says. "Or noise… Or lots of other ponies, really…" she brushes her mane out of her face again. Seriously girl, get a hairpin!

I nod lightly. "Got a bit uncomfortable? Felt like you were about to panic? Chest closed up and you couldn't breathe?"

Fluttershy's eyes go wide. "Yeah! How did you know?"

I smile and start rolling a pebble around with my hoof. "Same here." I glance back up at the party. "Crowds just aren't my thing… I mean, I can handle it for a while, but after that…"

Fluttershy smiles at me and gets up. She meets my eyes and helps me up to my hooves. "How about now? Do you think you're ready to go back inside?" she asks sweetly.

I smile and nod, feeling the genuine affection filling the air around us. "Why not." I say as we walk towards Sugarcube Corner side by side as friends.

And with that, we step over the threshold into a world of noise and lights. Sure, it may not have been our favourite place to be, but really, having someone else there who knows what you're going through helps a lot. And if I had to have anyone there by my side, I'd rather no-one more than this amazing little pink maned pegasus.

Comments

[Shadow_Quill]

*Shakes in delight*
Yay update!

And potential shipping?

[FordPrefect]

You know what? I'm giving this a thumbs up! Keep up the good work!

[pixelbit5]

7791349 Haha hope you enjoyed! And no, probably no shipping there. There might be, but nothing as of yet.

[pixelbit5]

7791910 Hey, thanks! Your support is greatly appreciated!

[Shadow_Quill]

7792476 Might is all I need.