6. Bridle Gossip - Part 2
6. Bridle Gossip - Part 2
King Dedede's loyal servant had long since abandoned the river, having finally, finally, captured some of those frustrating fish. It took him until just before dusk, but now he had three decent sized fish, each one of them dangling from the pole of his spear as he ran through the forest. As small as Waddle Dee was, the ecstatic hunter was making a major ruckus in the otherwise quiet forest, kicking up leaves and making loud thumps with every step. He knew that he should be quieter – he had no idea what could lurk in this forest – but he had so much good news for King Dedede! He needed to know!
Waddle Dee could now just barely make out the camp around the many trees, but as he drew closer to the round fort of twigs and small branches, he began hearing voices from that direction, and the voices themselves grew louder and clearer. He slowed down to a near stop; one of those voices was definitely Dedede, and with his booming signature he sounded furious. Waddle Dee still couldn't make out what Dedede was saying, but the king's voice had grown so loud and so angry that he could have heard him a good twenty yards or so ago! It made his heart sink a little to barely hear any amount of silence, or the other voice for that matter, in between the king's outbursts. Waddle Dee hurried over to the fort with only the smallest trace of the thought – what was he yelling at?!
"Do you always have to escalate things?" Meta Knight asked it what almost sounded like a groan, unwrapping his cape from around his body. He stood still on the inner edge of a relatively large circle of piled up pieces of tree branches that stood up to at least twice his height, with an open space behind him serving as an opening. The towering King Dedede stood on the other end, the space divided by a fairly small fireplace in the center – the walls were far enough away from the flames to be out of danger. Dedede had been venting his frustration at Meta Knight for easily a few minutes now, and Meta Knight was getting sick of it, despite his otherwise good patience. He didn't come here to get yelled at, even though it was expected.
King Dedede just scoffed, "Well, nothing here is cooperating with me!"
"Aggression is no way to get help, Dedede." Meta Knight retorted, "These, 'ponies', whatever they may be, are not going to react to you as your waddle dees would. You do realize that this is not Popstar, right?"
"I don't need to hear that from you!" Dedede snapped, shooting Meta Knight a harsh glare. A tense silence hung over them for a few seconds, but Dedede did not need words to know what Meta Knight was thinking right now, "Waddle Dee already ran his mouth about it."
"And you refuse to accept to truth of the matter, I see."
"Even you thought this place was Dreamland!"
"And it turns out it's not."
"Sire! What's going on?!" Cried a voice from outside the camp. Both Meta Knight and Dedede knew who it was – Waddle Dee – and the new arrival's running stopped cold at Meta Knight's piercing stare.
"Oh..." Waddle Dee muttered stiffly, almost petrified by the pair of yellow eyes that he never got used to seeing.
"So, did'ya get anything?" Dedede demanded, tapping his foot. Waddle Dee's body straightened up immediately and all of his attention moved to his king. Before he knew it, Dedede had snatched his spear and tore the largest fish off, mumbling something about it being "good enough".
"Patience proved to be useful to you today, didn't it." Meta Knight pointed out to Waddle Dee. It took a second for Waddle Dee to react, being caught unready for the compliment.
"Yeah," Waddle Dee agreed uncomfortably, "I guess it did."
"Your king here could learn from you." Meta Knight added. Dedede scoffed at the comment, but didn't say anything, popping a stick from the wall and began pushing it through the fish. Waddle Dee thanked him for it, but still felt a nagging sensation of awkwardness that he couldn't pinpoint.
"What are you planning anyway, Meta Knight?" Dedede asked with a sour voice.
"I'm looking for Kirby." Replied Meta Knight, "Waddle Dee told me he was with the ponies."
The king scoffed, shooting a suspicious glare at Waddle Dee, "You were told right. That puffball is with those fiends."
"Are there any that he's usually with?"
Dedede shook his head and groaned, "I first saw him with a yellow one with wings, and some pink one held a party for him a few days ago, or something like that. Then before I know it he's got, like, five or six of them fighting me."
"You fought these creatures?" Asked Meta Knight.
The king waved his hand and scoffed, "Mostly just Kirby, but those ponies can fight."
"They... they beat us badly." Waddle Dee added, almost whispering, as though he was embarrassed to say it. Meta Knight tapped the lower middle section of his mask in brief contemplation.
"I encountered a group of ponies earlier today." He said, "There was a pink one and a winged yellow one among them."
Dedede leaned back and threw his free arm into the air as though he was congratulating Meta Knight, "Well, would ya believe that? You ran into the same darn ponies I did."
"But Kirby was not with them."
"Does it matter? I can assure you any of those six ponies has him."
"Probably, and it's no coincidence that both of us encountered them."
"So, what do you think we should do?" Waddle Dee asked, directing the question to Meta Knight.
"The two of you, for now, should focus on surviving." Said Meta Knight, beginning to walk away.
Dedede's position drooped to a hunch, and he raised an eyebrow at the brevity, "And you?"
Meta Knight gave no answer. He left through the space between the walls of twigs and his cape somehow vanished and was replaced by a pair of bat-like wings in the blink of an eye. Before either Dedede or Waddle Dee could say a word, Meta Knight had already made himself long gone, flying off into the distance.
"That guy..." Dedede muttered.
"Did he tell you about an orchard of apples he found?" Waddle Dee asked.
"What did you say?" Dedede asked with venom in his voice, slowly turning his head. Waddle Dee shifted himself away from his king in fear, which only made Dedede lean towards him to intimidate him in a cold stare, "What is he telling you and not me?"
"Well! Well, he-he's been with a zebra named 'Zecora' since the four of us got here!" Waddle Dee stammered.
"Meta Knight never mentioned that..." Said Dedede, squinting his eyes and moving even closer.
"She- she was with him. When he ran into me."
"Right, and what about this 'orchard of apples'? Hmm?" Dedede's nose was inches from Waddle Dee's face, and Waddle Dee himself felt his stomach dropping, praying that the king would be satisfied with the answers.
"He told me that he found a lot of apple trees, near the village."
"Where?"
"I don't know!" Waddle Dee squealed, "I think he said south-west or something!"
Dedede continued to stare his servant down, but he soon grinned and turned away from Waddle Dee, who sighed in relief. Dedede pulled his fish away from the fire, judging that it was roasted enough. Waddle Dee did just the same, but he couldn't stop glancing at the king in worry. That smile – he's worked with the king long enough to know what he was doing. Thinking. Thinking, even if only a little, about a new objective. Waddle Dee knew, beyond a reasonable doubt, that this new objective involved that orchard, and that the result couldn't be anything good. H almost voiced Meta Knight's warning earlier, but the king wouldn't listen and he knew it. All he could do now was wait.
"Ugh, what a dream..."
Twilight Sparkle groggily lifted her head off her pillow, only just now waking from a thoughtful night that kept her mind awake. She rubbed her eyes and glanced over to her window, but immediately looked in the opposite direction, for her eyes weren't adjusted and ready for the morning sun. She silently watched Spike sleep soundly in his little bed, which was really a basket fitted with a pillow. It usually made her grin to see the baby dragon look this peaceful, but not now; her irritated mood wasn't reflecting it, instead keeping her face in a slight scowl.
"Curses, shmurses..." The unicorn muttered to herself, getting out of bed. That was the exact cause of her troubled sleep: Zecora and her "curses". The entire situation with Zecora, straight from her first sight of the zebra to the last, plagued her thoughts relentlessly. She still couldn't believe that her friends, all of them, had that much prejudice in them. Twilight saw nothing particularly wrong with Zecora. She wouldn't deny that the zebra was strange, but that was just it: she's not from ponyville, so of course she'll act different than what's expected. Heck, Zecora's not even a pony! But what really got to Twilight was the fact that all of her friends believed, without even taking a second thought, that Zecora was an evil enchantress that did evil dances, as Pinkie so ridiculously put it.
Twilight shook her head and looked at herself in the mirror. Despite her sour awakening, she couldn't help but giggle at her reflection. Forget about Pinkie, her mane was the ridiculous thing here. She knew tossing and turning would do that, but her mane never looked this messy before.
"Maybe Zecora cursed my hair." Twilight said to herself with a chuckle. She glanced down at a brush that was laid on her desk and used her horn's magic to lift and brush her hair. But the brush didn't budge – it wasn't even coated in the pink aura of her magic! Twilight raised an eyebrow and tried again, but each attempt lead to the same result: nothing.
"Why—?" Twilight's question was cut short as she took a sharp gasp. Out of the corner of her eye, in the mirror, she saw it. Her horn, bent flaccid and hanging over her forehead, decorated with blue dots all over. The unicorn nearly gagged at the sight, but she couldn't stop looking at it.
"Or- or she cursed my horn!" Twilight shrieked. The sudden shake of her head caused the horn to droop further down, putting itself clear in her frontal vision as an obstructive, wavy point. She looked around her room in panic, anxiously tapping her hooves on the floor. She stormed out the door of the room, rushing down the stairs into the main library.
She scrambled around the circular room, which aside from the stairs and two door ways was completely covered in bookshelves, shoving random books around and out of their places while only giving the title on their spines' a glance, if even that. Her rushed panic to find a book relating to her horn problem left at least a few poor ones on the floor.
Spike slowly descended the stairs as the unicorn made her mess, groggily rubbing his eyes and yawning deeply, which brought Twilight to call him down.
"What's going on, Twilight?" The baby dragon asked, almost sounding annoyed. He paused to look around the sty that Twilight was turning the room to, "Why in the world are you trashing the place?"
"Spike, come down here!" Twilight called as she knocked another book off the shelf. Spike only shook his head and sighed, not even speeding up.
"I only just woke up." He complained, reaching the bottom of the stairs and approaching Twilight, "What in Equestria...?" He suddenly trailed off to a pause and a frozen stance, his jaw nearly dropping at the sight of Twilight's dangling horn.
"I need you to help me look through these books and find anything about this!" Twilight flicked her horn with the hoof she was moving books with. Spike's surprised position quickly faded the more he saw Twilight's horn flopping about. Watching it was almost like having a feather tickling his side, and there was only so much he could do about the urge to laugh out loud. A quivering grin was as far as he let it go, but he wasn't far from breaking, and Twilight got the message. "Spike!" She called in a much louder tone than before. Her voice snapped Spike out of it and he straightened up, losing his grin and doing exactly what she asked.
Spike picked up a book that was left in the wake of Twilight's path yet untouched by it, called "Common Conditions & Cures". The title left Spike wondering how Twilight could miss it, but he shrugged and started flipping through the pages. He came to frown at the books contents, none of them having anything to do with Twilight's ailment. Then again, a normally hard structure on the body suddenly becoming soft isn't exactly a "common condition". He set the book back in the shelf and kept looking through the books that Twilight was tossing around.
"No, no, no..." Twilight muttered as she worked her way left, saying "no" as she tapped each book with her hoof as though she was naming it. Every book touched by her was knocked over, left to be filtered and actually checked by Spike, "There has to be a real reason for this." She flipped through more books, finally reaching the end of the shelf. While there were still plenty more books on the upper shelves, it made Twilight groan to go from one end to the other without finding a single book that looked like it had the answer. She raised her voice, "There has to be a real reason for this!" and felt her horn with her hoof, which was too similar to pressing against the underside of a frog, "A sickness? An allergy?!"
"A curse." Spike bluntly said, his eyes running across the words of a green book. In that moment of Spike's answer, Twilight's apprehension seemed to have faded, to make room for her to return to her cynical form.
"I said a real reason." Twilight said just as bluntly, "You know, something that points to something real? Let me see that." Twilight leaned over to Spike and read the title on the spine. She shook her head and shifted her tone to that of a teacher giving a lecture, "'Supernaturals'...? Spike, the word "supernatural" refers to ghosts and spirits and zombies. And they are just as make-believe as curses. This book's just a bunch of hooey!"
Spike frowned and closed the book, "But what if you're wrong, Twilight? What if this really is a curse?"
"It can't be a curse, Spike." Twilight reassured, her voice becoming tense, "It's probably some weird disease that just happens to look really weird. Maybe I picked it up from the Everfree Forest, maybe I'm having a reaction to something, but I can assure you that this is not—!"
"Ippfff fa pfurffss!" A muffled voice shrieked from behind. Both Spike and Twilight quickly turned to the door, which stood wide open for Pinkie Pie and Kirby to storm right in. Twilight's jaw dropped at the sight – Pinkie's tongue was stuck completely out, pressed in place by both lips and covered in the same blue dots that Twilight had on her horn.
"Pinkie..." Twilight only managed to say in a shocked murmur, "what, what happened to you?!"
"Pffsee pfut pa pfurffss pff pfee!" Pinkie spoke, or rather, attempted to speak. The only speech she could make sounded more like short raspberries than actual words.
"She maut phi-vek hoz!" Kirby blurted out in a loud panic, waving his arms around, "She speak not!"
"Woah, slow down, Kirby." Said Spike.
"She mouth move not! Not speak!" Kirby tried again, picking his words more wisely.
"Pinkie, you can't move your mouth?" Twilight asked. Pinkie just shook her head. Twilight softly gasped as her stomach sank with the realization that Pinkie was basically in the same situation she was in. Those blue dots were just like the ones on her horn – it must have been the exact same affliction.
Suddenly, a loud thud noise came from the front of the library, loud enough to make all four of them flinch. They all watched the front entrance as another thud came, and then another...
"It's Zecora!" a voice yelled from outside. Immediately after the voice came another thud, and before they knew to duck a blue pegasus soared through the doorway and right over their heads, crashing into the bookshelf and knocking all of the untouched books on top of her.
"Rainbow?" Twilight asked. Almost as soon as she asked, Rainbow Dash leaped out of the pile of books into a very unstable hover. The pegasus constantly leaned from side to side and could barely hold a consistent elevation. Twilight gasped with one quick examination of Rainbow Dash's wings – they were upside down! The sight made her feel like her chest was caving in, not because her friend's wings were upside down, but because they were just upside down. In no way were they twisted or stretched into that position; it looked as if it were natural.
"Zecora did it!" Rainbow Dash shouted, trying her hardest to maintain balance in the air, "She slapped us all with a curse! Just look at Applejack and Rarity!" Twilight turned towards the door again and saw Apple Bloom, Fluttershy, and Rarity – or what looked like Rarity – storming in. Whatever it was that was identified as Rarity was a large mass of white hair, with purple locks where her mane and tail would have been; it was like she was a walking bush.
"Rainbow Dash is right, what else could explain this?" Said Rarity. She blew the thick locks of hair out of her face, just enough that everyone else could see it for a split second.
"And I'd hate to say 'I told ya so', Twilight, but I told ya so!" An extremely high pitched voice shouted. Both Twilight and Spike cocked an eye at Apple Bloom, for the voice came from here, but the two of them knew that the voice was not hers. Despite the pitch difference, they would recognize that southern drawl anywhere.
Apple Bloom turned to the side, revealing on her back an extremely small pony, almost as small as her ears and completely coated in blue spots. Both Twilight and Spike couldn't keep their jaws from dropping.
"Applejack?!" They both shrieked, taking a couple steps back.
"It is a curse I tells ya!" The tiny pony, Applejack, yelled, "A curse!"
Twilight nearly lost the ability to speak; this was all too much to let sink it at once. A fantasy story is what this sounded like – six friends cursed by an evil witch, and now they must fight to remove the curse. The dissonance of realism made Twilight's forehead sting a little, but that might have just been her horn. She glanced over to Fluttershy, only to be further baffled by the fact that she looked just fine. No inverted wings, no overblown hair, not even any blue dots.
"But Fluttershy seems just fine." Twilight pointed out.
"Of course, there doesn't seem to be a thing wrong with her." Rarity sarcastically agreed.
Twilight slowly approached Fluttershy, as though she were approaching a scared wild animal, "Fluttershy?" Fluttershy barely looked at Twilight, dipping her head down and trying to hide in her mane, "Are you okay?" Fluttershy softly shook her head squeamishly, "Is there something wrong with you?" Fluttershy glanced back at Twilight and nodded, tucking her lips into her mouth. With the idea that Fluttershy was refusing to speak, Twilight raised her tone to a mildly aggressive snark, "Would you care to tell us?"
"Good gravy girl!" Applejack yelled, leaping off of Apple Bloom and onto the book table in the center of the room, "Show her what's wrong with you!"
Fluttershy almost seemed to stop breathing for a moment as her eyes darted off to everyone in the room, all of which had their eyes on her. She took a very deep breath and turned her head away from her friends, fearing embarrassment that would last for months. Without anymore second thoughts she spoke, but all of the softness in her voice was nonexistent. The airy tone, the lack of assertion, all of it gone, completely replaced by a crude joke on what could be considered a voice. Her new voice was extremely deep and extremely gruff, more than enough to make any stallion sound like her regular voice in comparison. Her tone was shifted into what could best be described as a passive attack, having a sharp and obvious form but lacking enough aggression that it could at least be compared to the way she would normally talk.
"I don't want to talk about it."
Twilight was completely floored out of having any response at all; she just continued to watch Fluttershy as though she was still waiting to see her problem. Spike, on the other hand, completely lost it, doubling over into hysterical laughter.
"This is hilarious!" Spike managed to exclaim out of giggles, "I say you all should be thanking Zecora!"
"This is no joke, Spike!" Twilight snapped, seemingly forgetting Fluttershy's problem, "Now look through these books and help me find a cure!" Spike groaned and rolled his eyes and walked back to the bookshelf to continue the search.
"Woah!" Rainbow Dash shrieked as she nearly hit the ground, "I think we'll find a cure at that witch's place!"
"I agree with Dash!" Said Applejack, "We'll go to Zecora's and force her to remove this hex!"
"How many times must I say it?" Twilight asked in a groan, "It is not a curse, it is not a hex!"
"I'll have to disagree—" Rarity started to say before Rainbow Dash cut in.
"And what is it then, Twilight?!" Rainbow Dash yelled, trying to hover closer to her, "Tell me, magic-pants, what explains this?!"
"I don't know, Rainbow!" Twilight snapped back, "That's what me and Spike were trying to find out!"
"How about you just face the facts and admit that you're wrong and that Zecora is the evil enchantress that she is?"
"Because it's a ridiculous thought; it's the things of fairy tales."
"Right, like what you're seeing in front of you is not out of a story. I don't care what you say, Twilight, it's time we pony-up and confront Zecora! And that freaky little monster of hers! Come on girls, are you with me?!"
Pinkie Pie blew another raspberry and nodded her head in agreement.
"And I as well." Said Rarity. Fluttershy retreated back into her mane.
"I don't know. It seems awfully dangerous." She said.
"And Kirby should come too!" Rainbow Dash added.
Fluttershy gasped, "No, no no no! We can't drag him into this!"
"I'm with Fluttershy," Said Twilight stepping in front of Kirby as though to protect him, "Kirby has nothing to do with this."
"You saw how he handled that big guy from before." Rainbow Dash replied.
"We already have one child too many involved." Twilight growled.
Rainbow Dash looked over Twilight, "What do you think, Applejack?" Rainbow Dash's eyes visibly opened up at the lack of a response, "Applejack?"
Rarity gasped and lifted her hooves, "Did somepony step on her?!"
"Wait a minute, Apple Bloom's gone too." Said Twilight.
"I bet they went after Zecora." Said Rainbow Dash.
"Then we better go find them." Replied Twilight, who already started heading for the door, "Spike, stay here and look for a cure. Let's go, girls." She, Pinkie, and Rarity all stormed out at once, but Fluttershy stayed with Rainbow Dash, trying to fight against Kirby going with them. Rainbow Dash didn't pay any attention to her though, instead only nodding at Kirby before making a difficult flight out of the library.
"But—" Fluttershy started to say, but any word that would have come out of her mouth were lost when she felt the puffball climb onto her back.
"Len'Wi go!" Kirby squeaked, pointing out to the door. Fluttershy glanced back at him with a frown, but she sighed and followed her friends outside. The will to protest was just gone. Rainbow Dash did have a point, but it was still a point that hurt Fluttershy's comfort.
'This forest again...'
Apple Bloom cringed at the thought of going back inside it. She intended to just run right through the forest with no problem, but anxiety was much stronger than she ever knew. Try as she might to stay focused, she couldn't stop her eyes from darting off at different directions. She could almost swear that something was out there with her; she could have sworn that bush moved, that that tree over there looked different from when she last saw it. The foal closed her eyes and took a deep breath, thinking back to the reason she came here. Watching all of her sisters argue over their afflictions and Zecora, she couldn't shake the newfound feeling that none of that would have happened had she not gone after Zecora. Whether she was the evil enchantress they said she was or not, she had to know something about their conditions, maybe even the cure, and even if she didn't, something just had to be done.
Just as she began to make her next step, Apple Bloom felt something rustling in her mane...
"Hold it right there!" Yelled a high pitched voice from just above her head. Apple Bloom glanced up in her mane and saw Applejack staring right down at her face, "You had best be turnin' yourself around right now, li'l missy!"
"Hm, hm." Apple Bloom grunted, shaking her head.
"'Hm, hm'?! Don't you 'hm, hm' me! You can't dis–!"
"Applejack, I gotta fix this." Apple Bloom ducked her head down and shook her sister right out of her mane. Applejack barely managed to land on her hooves and shot Apple Bloom a furious glare.
"Apple Bloom!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, "You can't disobey a dee-rect order from your big sister! Pick me back up!"
Apple Bloom chuckled, "Sorry, Applejack. I'm the big sister now." Applejack jerked back as though the statement had kicked her square in the chest and knocked the breath right out of her. It only took a moment's notice for her to regain herself, and Apple Bloom couldn't take but only a few steps around her to hear the growing fury.
"Apple Bloom!" Applejack growled with gritted teeth, now changing to an open scream, "You come back here! Right this instant!" Apple Bloom not even acknowledge her, and she stomped her hoof and screamed even louder, "Big Macintosh is gonna hear about this!" Watching Apple Bloom just continue on her merry way only made Applejack want to scream harder, but the pony tried to calm herself down with a deep breath. She began to head back the way Apple Bloom came, taking a second to glance back at Apple Bloom's direction. She wasn't even in sight anymore, either having turned to a different path or been swallowed by the darkness and mist, "Well, there ain't nothing I can do here." She said in an 'oh-well' tone, "Apple Bloom has no idea what trouble she'll be in when she gets home."
Just at that moment, rapid thumping noises started sounding off in the distance – back where she was about to head to – and her ears twitched at them. She turned to the noise so hard that it almost hurt her neck, but the sight alone lifted a great deal of weight off her chest.
"Hey! Down here!" Applejack cried, repeating herself over and over again while jumping in place in order to get the attention of the oncoming cavalry: Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, and even Kirby.
"Applejack!" Twilight shrieked as she forced herself and the others to a complete stop, "What happened? Is Apple Bloom here?"
"Thank Celestia y'all came!" Applejack said as she ran over to Twilight's hoof. The unicorn knelt down and allowed Applejack to climb onto her head, "We got to get to Zecora's, pronto!"
Rarity flicked the hair off her face and asked worriedly, "Apple Bloom's there?"
"Who Celestia?" Kirby asked.
"Not now, Kirby." Twilight softly snapped.
"Of course Apple Bloom will be there!" Shouted Applejack, "Now let's get a move on before something horrible happens to her!"
"Woah, heads up!" Cried Rainbow Dash just as she swooped over her friends' heads, close enough for all of them to feel the wind. They all managed to duck under the pegasus, but Applejack finally decided that she had had enough.
"Rainbow, why can't you just walk?!"
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You're missing an e
YYYYEEEESSSS!!! It's finally here from fanfiction.net!
Thanks so much, Battery1320!
I shall follow this.
Been waiting for another chapter! SO GLAD THERE IS!
-snickers and laughs for a good while- Sorry sorry I just love the part with tiny Applejack and Applebloom. I can picture that from the show and it always tickles my side......that and the voice Fluttershy gets from the whole mess.......makes me laugh pretty hard too.
I'm really impatient so... what's the abomination that followed them from Kirby's world? Galacta Knight? 0 or 02? Some other guy? Who?!
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Whatever it is that now watches over Equestria, the ponies will not like it. It has only one goal – to see the world in perfect peace, perfect harmony. But its harmony might be different from theirs...
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GAH! WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME SO?
Hmm...interesting concept. I honestly think that this might be the only one of this genre. However, I believe I know what the 'Antithesis' is. I don't want to state it here, though, as it'll spoil it for everyone else.
Now, the story itself is well done, except for the earlier chapters. Sometimes it seemed almost as though you were just going through the motions of writing, particularly in the second chapter. Other times, it seemed like certain scenes were...off, guess would be the word. Like they'd been written and rewritten several times. It's a more common error among new writers than you might think. When writing a scene, don't think about it too hard. Just do it. Once you're done, you'll have a steaming pile of horse vomit(no pun intended), but a pile that was pure gold before it was vomited out. Then it's just a matter of piecing the whole thing into a coherent puzzle. The main thing to do is to get the material out.
Now, another gross metaphor: It's nice to have silk from thin air, but realistically? It's gotta come from the worm's butt first. In this instance, you are the worm's butt. Weave your silk, and I guarantee you that your writing will improve dramatically, in both speed of production and quality.
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That has got to be by far the most unique comment I've ever read. And that's with this story being on FF.net and DeviantArt.
As for my early work, I'll go ahead and admit it – I'm disappointed with myself. I was very foolish as a writer and didn't properly think/look them through. They basically wrote themselves, but they were weak and overall not well done, especially Chapter 2. After I finish Chapter 7 (which is nearly complete), I'll jump straight to revising the previous chapters. Chapter 1 will receive some touch ups in the weaker places. Chapter 2 will actually be completely redone, and what I plan to do with it would basically eliminate Chapter 3 almost entirely (resulting in Chapters 4-7 being moved back by one). Chapters 4-6, I think, are mostly fine, but not great; they could use some edits.
Thanks for the review... and the rather interesting input.
As much as I hate this episode, I still want to see more!