Cake

by Pathos14489

Princess Celestia

I tapped my hoof on the edge of the throne, glancing left and right impatiently. I sighed, before leaning down and whispering to the Shining Sunlight. "Is anypony waiting outside? Did the maids unlock the door this morning?"

He nodded. "Yes Princess. It appears that there simply isn't anything vexing the kingdom today."

I frowned and looked around again. "I see."

"Princess, if I could ask you a question?"

I tilted my head and raised an eyebrow. "Of course." I responded, leaning against the side of the throne towards him in curiosity. "What's on your mind, Captain?"

"Why have all the Captains of the Guard for the last three hundred years had 'shining' in their name?"

I blinked. Drat, "...Are you sure that's the case?"

He reached under his armor and pulled out a scroll. "Er... Yes, Princess. I'm sure." He levitated it up to my view, showing their names. "In fact, I made this list a week ago due to how... concerning it was to me." In chronological order.

I skimmed through the names, heartstrings pulling every now and then, and sometimes the gears in my head crawling to a stop at a couple names I had forgotten. "So... You're convinced that you were only picked due to your name."

He seemed to hesitate until I looked from the list to him. "Yes, your highness. I was... curious if that was the case."

I nodded slightly. "I see. Well," I felt around my quarters with a fetching spell, "I'll be honest with you, Captain." The air in front of my popped, one of my own lists appearing in my grasp near his. "You're half right." I gave him the list. "I went through the list of every guard enlisted in the local tri-mountain area, and I compiled a list of all the ones who had 'shining' in their name, then I created the second and third column on the list that is which of them is already a high ranking official or whom I've had a pleasant experience with." He seemed to be glancing through each name with ever widening eyes. "After that, I had my secretary compile a second list of actually good recommendations for captain and cross-checked this list and that list for common names."

"I see."

I sighed, "Well your name wasn't on the recommendations list to be even more honest." He shook his head slowly, glancing from the list to me. "But you almost qualified for it!" I assured him, likely calming his nerves. He hoofed me my list back, and I, his list to him. "I promise that you're doing an excellent job. Much better than I ever could have expected."

He grimaced, and said, "Of course, Princess."

«♦»

I threw my list against the wall. "I can't believe this!"

"Sister, I think you need to calm d-"

"Luna, I trusted him with a carefully guarded royal secret I've kept for the last three centuries. Centuries! That's longer than his lifetime by three times!" I groaned and held my head between my hooves. "And he resigned! He resigned and blabbed to the news! Now I'm going to get an overflow of guards named Shining Swordpolish or something; they're all going to legally have their names changed to shining something because of this!"

Luna stood in the doorway, her eyes closed and a hoof held against her forehead. "Why? Just why did you only pick the stallions named 'shining'?"

I huffed, "I was in a mood."

«♦»

“If I follow the inclination of my nature, it is this: beggar-woman and single, far rather than queen and married.”

― Elizabeth I

Comments

[SpiritOfDancingFlames]

Huh. Interesting. I actually really like this. On to the next one!