Apocalypse in Equestria

by GeodesicDragon

Houseguests

As our little group walked into the centre of Ponyville, I slowly became aware of a lot of commotion – well, more commotion than usual – coming from the town. I could hear a lot of voices, ranging from worried chatter to the barking of orders. I could also hear a noise like clattering metal, but I couldn't see what was making it.

Geo was at the front of the group alongside Ivory Scroll, who was telling him about Ponyville's history. Geo listened intently, only cutting in to say how he would have handled the many situations the town had found itself facing over the years. Needless to say, his 'solutions' usually involved the use of excessive violence.

As we rounded a corner, Ponyville Market came into view — as well as all the residents and a large group of Shadow Troopers, one of whom caught sight of Geo and approached us.

"Herald Geo!" he snapped off a salute. "Captain Jennings at your service, sir. We got your message, and we are here to assist in any way you see fit. What are your orders?"

Geo returned the salute. "At ease, Captain," he replied. "I want you to establish a defensive perimeter around the town, by setting up roadblocks at every road in and out, and stationing snipers in any tall buildings you can find; Town Hall looks like a good spot. Then, you simply shoot anything that moves... unless it has four legs."

"It shall be done!" Jennings replied. "Glory to the Apocalypse!"

"Wait," I said. "My friend, and assistant, Spike has two legs; you'd better not shoot him, or so help me..."

"Let me rephrase that order, Captain," Geo replied. "Shoot anything on two legs that isn't one of us, or looks remotely like a Diamond Dog." He waved the man away. "Off you go, now."

Jennings turned around and returned to the group of soldiers; with the exception of two, they immediately dispersed when he passed on Geo's instructions. The townsponies watched them go in silent awe, marvelling at the speed and efficiency with which they moved.

"A 'defensive perimeter?'" Rainbow Dash asked. "Why?"

"The Diamond Dogs are no doubt aware of the relationship that exists between Equestria and the Apocalypse," Geo replied. "So, to make sure that they don't try anything, we're simply going to surround the town with a ring of defences. That way, they can't sneak in and cause any trouble for us or your good selves."

Dash nodded. "Sounds good to me." she grinned. "Though, after the flank kicking you gave them earlier, you'd think they wouldn't be stupid enough to even think about fighting you again."

Geo shrugged. "It pays to be prepared," he said. "Now, about that drinking establishment I want to go to..."

Ivory Scroll smiled. "Of course, Herald," she replied. "This way."

The two soldiers who had stayed behind approached us. "Herald Geo," one said. "I am Corporal Thompson and this is Private Smith; we have been assigned by Captain Jennings to serve as your bodyguards for the duration of our stay here." They both snapped to attention. "It is our honour, our duty, and the greatest of privileges to lay down our lives in your defence."

"Glad to hear it, Corporal." Geo saluted them back. "Mayor Ivory Scroll here was just leading the way to the local bar, where I intend to celebrate General Dawson's upcoming victory over the rebels."

"The rebels are done for?" Private Smith asked. "That is great news indeed, Herald; I just hope that he leaves some for you."

"I hope so too, Private," Geo replied. "I hope so too. Now, let us not dilly-dally any longer. Mayor Scroll, please lead the way."

We resumed walking, Thompson and Smith falling into step behind Geo. They kept looking at everything around them, their fingers poised over the triggers of their weapons as though something was going to jump out at them from a hedge.

Unfortunately, something did.

"You're back!" something attached itself to Rarity's neck and squeezed tight, causing her to shriek. "Did you bring us anything?"

"We were watchin' the soldiers!" another voice said, Applejack grunting at a sudden weight appearing on her back.

"Hi, Rainbow Dash!" a third voice chimed in. "What's up?"

Rarity's horn sparked into life and she lifted her sister off her, putting her gently on the ground. "Sweetie Belle, what have I told you about scaring me like that? And no, we didn't get you any presents; we had other things to take care of."

"When ya said y'all were goin' ta fight the Diamond Dogs, we were mighty worried," Apple Bloom said. "But I'm just glad that yer all home safe and sound, and that nopony got hurt!"

"Yeah, it was a good thing you recognised their leader, Twilight." Scootaloo noticed Geo standing nearby. "Is that him there?"

I nodded. "Yes, it is." I pointed at each of the three fillies. "Geo, this is Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle is Rarity's sister, Apple Bloom is Applejack's sister, and Scootaloo is a sort-of sister to Rainbow Dash. Girls, this is Herald Geo."

"Hey, I heard one of yer men sayin' that y'all had some Crusaders with ya!" Apple Bloom said eagerly. "Well, we're the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and we'd be more than happy ta show 'em around."

Geo chuckled. "That's very good of you to offer," he replied. "But I think my Crusaders are more than capable of looking after themselves, since I spent a lot of good money developing them."

Apple Bloom shared a puzzled glance with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, while I let out a sigh. "I think I know what that clattering noise I heard earlier was," I said to Geo. "You've got a tank stationed around here somewhere, haven't you?"

"Not 'stationed.'" Geo shook his head. "It's out on patrol."

"A 'tank?'" Scootaloo asked. "Rainbow Dash has a pet tortoise named Tank. Is your Crusader a pet of some kind?"

"No, it's not." Geo's eye twitched. "Now, it was simply lovely to have met you, but we really must be going. Mayor, please take us to the bar... and for the love of Violet, don't stop for anything."

"You three go on and play now," Applejack said to the Crusaders, who didn't seem too happy at being dismissed. "Apple Bloom, make sure ya get home in time fer dinner; tell Granny and Big Mac that I might not be back until later on tonight."

"What about me?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Rarity can't stay out late."

"I won't, darling," Rarity said. "Go to Sweet Apple Acres with Apple Bloom and wait for me there. I'll pick you up in a few hours."

"You too, squirt," Dash added. "I'll take you out for a burger later."

"Burger?" Private Smith licked his lips. "I could murder a burger."

Geo chuckled. "Trust me, Private, it's not as amazing as it sounds... unless you like burgers made of hay."

"Oh." Smith looked disappointed. "No, Herald, I don't."

"See you later, girls," I said as we started walking, the three fillies departing towards the farm. "Right, everypony, let's get to the bar before our guests either die of thirst or shoot something."

"Probably the latter," Geo muttered. "Honestly, how can you allow children to waltz around like that? Apocalyptian children are raised from birth to be seen, but never heard, and to obey their elders."

"Yes." Rarity rolled her eyes. "And when they are twelve years old, they are conscripted into your military, where they learn to be even more obedient." She sighed. "Honestly, Herald, would it hurt to give the poor dears at least something resembling a proper childhood?"

"It might." Geo shrugged. "Then again, it might not. And I've already told you that we don't make the kids serve on the front lines. We're not entirely heartless, Miss Rarity."

"Of course," Rarity replied. "You are such a benevolent dictator."

Geo was about to call her out on her sarcasm when Ivory spoke up. "We're here," she said. "Welcome to the Ponyville Tavern, Herald."

"Finally!" Geo was relieved. "Right, let's get— wait a minute."

I gave him a puzzled look. "What is it?"

Geo patted one of his pockets. "I've just realised," he said. "I'm carrying Apocalyptian credits, not Equestrian bits."

"That is an issue," I replied. "Well, I'm sure we can come to some arrangement; how about a one-to-one currency conversion ratio?"

Geo clapped his hands together eagerly. "Sounds good to me, Twilight," he replied. "Thank you. Thompson, Smith, let's go!"

The three of them quickly ran into the establishment as fast as their legs could carry them, as though Geo was expecting yet another interruption to stand between him and his drinking. I rolled my eyes and looked around for a moment, finally catching a glimpse of the tank Geo mentioned making its rounds before I finally followed him and the rest of my friends inside.

Upon entering the premises, I could see that the other patrons were giving Geo and his men a wide berth. He and Thompson had taken over the corner booth – literally, if the two upturned pitchers of cider were anything to go by – while Smith was at the bar.

"The Herald wants to celebrate an upcoming victory," Smith said to Berry Punch, who owned the place. "As such, he would like to sample your finest drinks, and damn the expense." He placed some credits on the counter, at which Berry raised an eyebrow. "Princess Twilight has allowed us to use our own currency for the duration of our stay here, at a one-to-one conversion ratio."

"All right then," Berry replied. "If the Princess is okay with it, then that suits me. Now, as for my 'finest drink,' I would highly recommend the Manehatten Malt Whiskey. That stuff is a heck of a lot stronger than the cider which I serve to my usual customers, and should put a few more hairs on your Herald's chest."

Smith nodded. "Give me a shot of it for him to try," he said. Berry nodded back and poured a shot into a glass. "Back in a minute."

We watched as he took the glass over to Geo, who looked at it with some interest while Smith explained what it was. He took the glass and studied the contents, then – after nodding at me and raising the glass in a toast – downed it in one. His eyes widened as the liquid travelled down his throat, and he ended up banging a fist on the table. Shaking his head furiously, he slammed the glass down.

"Holy..." he said. "Yes, I'll definitely have some more of that!"

Smith saluted and returned to the bar. "You heard the man," he said. "A bottle of that Manehatten stuff, if you please."

"Sure thing." Berry grinned as she passed the bottle over, counted out a few of the credits Smith had put on the table, and pushed the rest back to him. "But he's gonna be sorry in the morning..."

"'Sorry' isn't a word that the Apocalyptians are familiar with," I replied. "They tend to act first, and think never."

"You know me so well, Princess." Geo took the bottle from Smith and poured himself a double. "All right, men, who would like to make a little wager? A thousand credits each says that I manage to finish this entire bottle by the end of the evening."

"That's a wager I can get behind, Sir," Thompson said. "You're on."

"Ditto." Smith sat down. "Start... now!"

As Geo slammed the shot down, this time without flinching, I rolled my eyes. "Berry," I said. "I can only apologise in advance for any chaos that may occur as a result of the Herald's behaviour."

Berry waved a forehoof dismissively. "It's okay, Princess, I've dealt with plenty of drunks," she replied. "I can handle one more"

I giggled nervously. "I doubt you'll be saying that later..."

***

Three hours passed before Geo finished the whiskey; he had won the bet, but he was now disgustingly drunk. Most of my friends had all left by now – citing the fact they had responsibilities to get back to – so it was just Starlight and I left in the bar, watching as Geo glanced around the bar through his newly acquired goggles.

"Hey, Shmith, Thompshon," he slurred. "What'sh the betting I can hitsh that target on the..." He belched. "On the wall oversh there?"

Smith glanced at the wall. "Um, that's a clock, Herald."

"Sho?" Geo pulled his pistol out. "It'sh shtill a target, and I bet the two of you a hundred creditsh each that I can hit it." He aimed the gun and pulled the trigger, but nothing happened. "Wait a tick, I think the shafety's on." He flipped a switch on the side of the weapon and tried pulling the trigger again, to no avail. "You've gorra be... hang on a shec, ish thish thing even loaded?" He then put the gun to his eye and peered down the barrel.

"Whoa, holy—!" Smith and Thompson shouted in unison and leapt into action; Smith grabbed Geo's arm, while Thompson flipped the safety switch and prised the gun from his hand.

"Gerrofa me, you pair of moronsh!" he shouted. "I'll havesh you both execu... exorc... I'll have yoush both shot!"

"I think we'd better get him back to the camp, Corporal." Smith and Thompson pulled Geo to his feet, draping his arms across their shoulders. "Berry was right; he is gonna be sorry in the morning."

Geo scoffed derisively. "Shorry? Me?" he blew a raspberry. "The only thing I'm shorry for is not drinking more whish—"

The words died in his throat as he brought up most of the whiskey he had just drank, as well as his lunch. I saw Berry grimace and roll her eyes before she disappeared into the back room, emerging a moment later with a mop and bucket.

"Oh, wow," Starlight mused. "He's like a one-man frat party."

"Yep, we'd better get him back to the camp." Thompson rummaged in Geo's pocket and took out a handful of credits, then held them out to me. "Princess, could you give these to Miss Punch, with our apologies for the mess, while we take the Herald back to camp?"

I took the coins from him. "Of course," I replied. "But you're never going to get back to your camp now; it is far too dark outside, meaning the beasts of the Everfree Forest will be roaming around, just waiting to make a meal of any easy prey they come across." I looked at the Herald, who was drunkenly singing a song about 'drinking to a pink lily' and 'medicinal compound.' "And prey doesn't come much easier than two men, unable to use their weapons, supporting the weight of their drunk leader."

Smith and Thompson looked at each other. "That's a good point, Princess," Smith said. "What should we do instead?"

I passed the coins over to Berry, who had finished her grim cleaning ask and was now back behind the bar; she accepted them with a nod. "I've got plenty of spare rooms back at my castle," I said. "You can make use of one of them tonight."

"Very well, Princess," Thompson replied. "Thank you."

Starlight waved a hoof in front of her face. "I think getting him into a bath should be your first priority," she said. "Never mind a bed."

"We'll take care of that in the morning, ma'am," Smith said. "In the meantime, the Herald really needs to get some rest." He glanced at Thompson. "I'll take first watch; we'll do four hour shifts."

Thompson nodded. "Right. Okay, Princess, lead the way."

With that, Starlight and I led them back to the castle, making sure to stay ahead and downwind of them the entire way. The streets of Ponyville were mostly deserted, save for the late-night party ponies going to and from Vinyl's nightclub and the groups of Apocalyptian soldiers who were out on patrol. As we passed the train station, I saw the tank parked outside; the crew told Smith and Thompson that they were staying there because of how loud the thing was.

Upon entering the castle, Starlight went to bed while I showed my guests to a spare room. As soon as they got inside, the Herald was placed on the bed in the recovery position, while Thompson lay down on the floor, using his backpack as a pillow.

"Thank you for your hospitality, Princess Twilight," Smith said. "We can take it from here now, though; you head on off to bed. Thompson and I will take it in turns to keep the Herald safe."

"All right then, I'll see you all in the morning." I stifled a yawn and pointed at the Herald. "If he needs painkillers – and I'm pretty sure that he will, given how much whiskey he's had – you'll find them in the top shelf of the medicine cabinet in the bathroom."

Both men nodded, at which I bade them both good night before heading off to my room. As I got into bed, I thought about what tomorrow would bring; the Herald wasn't going to be in the brightest of moods when he woke up, of that I was certain.

At the same time, however, I couldn't escape the feeling that whatever went down between the Apocalypse and the Diamond Dogs at the campsite wasn't quite over with yet; I was afraid that, at some point, Equestria would get caught up in it.

Furthermore, I was also concerned regarding how long it would take for Geo's deputy to figure out where he was, and how he would react when he did. Having never met the man before, I wasn't quite certain; would he assume the worst and come in all guns blazing, or would be take the diplomatic approach?

These thoughts eventually faded away as sleep claimed me.

Author's Note:

Sorry this took so long; it's been through several rewrites and edits, but I think I'm finally happy with it. I felt a bit of comedy was needed, as the story has been mostly depressing so far, and figured that a drunken Geo would be a good addition.

The actual plot will be developed further in the next chapter.