Cleaning up

by Less_than_good

Promotion

Captain Gleaming Blade was exultant; he had just received a promotion, from the Princess herself. No longer would he have to listen to Captain Black Mail rant at him for not polishing his armour properly, or forgetting to dye his coat, and no longer would he have to worry about how to spell his own occupation (he could never figure out whether his former position of “Lieutenant” was spelt “ieu”, “uie”, “eiu” or some other random permutation; thank Celestia for proofreaders).

Speaking of Celestia, there she is now. The Princess was gracefully walking towards him, a unicorn mare trotting beside her. The Princess, as usual, possessed the beauty and radiance of the sun that she controlled; being a royal guard that had become a very tedious sight to him. What interested him was the mare beside her, with her golden mane tied up in a bow, her dark navy blue coat, her letter wheel cutie mark and her inquisitive expression; she had a large, plain feather tucked behind her ear, black at the end from ink.

“Captain”

Celestia had said this, dragging Blade’s attention away from the intriguing mare before him.

“Yes, your Highness?” he said, trying to seem interested.

“I have a few things I want to say; firstly, thank you for helping protect me and my sister”

“It’s my job, majesty”, he said, as a hero would trying to be modest.

“Secondly, I want you to go to Ponyville”

“Ponyville, your highness?”, the guard inquired. Why would such a small town be of any strategic importance? Perhaps because of its proximity to Canterlot?

“Yes, Ponyville; I want you to take your men and find the Elements of Harmony. They are all in the town. I want you to escort them back to Canterlot to keep them safe.”

The Captain nodded, still wondering why a common unicorn mare was standing next to the Princess. His unspoken question was answered, as if Celestia knew what he was thinking.

“This is Miss Nightfall Sparkle, she works in the Intelligence Department. She is going to help you find the elements without attracting attention and communicate clandestinely with me.”

“Call me Night; I look forward to working with you.”

Blade politely acknowledged her, before turning back to Celestia. “Your Highness, if - for whatever reason - we cannot make it back to Canterlot, what should we do?”

“One of the elements, Twilight Sparkle, owns a baby dragon who is able to send messages directly to me; have him send a message stating where you are and what kind of help you need”

Nightfall suddenly piped up.

“That’s my sister! I was wondering where she went!”

She noticed that everypony else was quiet; Celestia was wearing a bearly noticeable smirk, but Blade was just as serious as before. Nightfall blushed, embarrased at the words that she had been unable to prevent coming out of her mouth.

“Sorry, your Majesty; please continue”

The Princess dropped her smirk “Anyway, I trust you have nothing more to ask, Blade?”

“No, your Highness”

“Then onto my final point; Prince Blueblood has a nephew who’s in your new Company”

“With all due respect, why should I be concerned?” Blade asked, trying not to sound rude, but he couldn’t think of a more tactful way of phrasing it.

“Because the Prince insists that his nephew is promoted to 1st Lieutenant at least, despite the fact that he is still fresh out of basic training and has done absolutely nothing of merit.”

“So you want me to promote this weed to get the Prince off your back? That’s nepotism!”

“Yes, I know. However, promote him or the Prince will complain to you as well, and he holds power. However, I want you to train ‘this weed’ - as you aptly put it - longer and work him harder than the rest of the unit. By the time you’re finished with him I want him to be worthy of the position.”

“Yes, your Highness”, said the Captain, flatly.

The Princess brightened up after she had told him all of this.

“I want you to leave for Ponyville tomorrow morning; I will have chariots waiting in the castle courtyard at ten am”, she said, walking off regally, leaving Blade alone with Nightfall.

“I suppose we should get to know each other before we leave”, she said, curious about the stallion she was going to be working with for the next few days.

“I was going to go back to the mess and get some food but that sounds like a good idea too. I’m off duty right now. Let’s discuss this assignment over dinner” Blade pulled a tattered map of Canterlot out of his new armour and looked for a restaurant nearby.

“You okay with the Schwarzpferd at six?” he said, after a few seconds searching the map.

“Sounds good, I’ll see you there Captain.” Nightfall said, before turning to trot back to her duties.

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Whinnyam Blueblood stood on the training ground with the rest of the Company, about as keen to be there as most foals are keen to be at school. His uncle had put him up to this, and was going to have him promoted to Captain, Corporal, General or maybe even Field Marshal by a combination of bribery, blackmail and other forms of "persuasion", and then he was going to use Whinnyam as a pawn against the Princesses he had spent years sucking up to.

Why do I have to do this? cried the pitiful voice at the back of his head that represented what was left of his dignity and conscience. He already knew he would be promoted a few ranks simply for being related to the bloody Prince.

“Company, to attention!”

Suddenly forgetting his uncle, he snapped out of the more relaxed position, straightened his legs and stood upright, attentive and listening, as one with the other two hundred or so ponies standing in formation.

“I am Captain Blade; you may call me Sir, or Sir, or Sir!” The white-coated pegasus at the front hollered, sarcastically.

“Which of you is Whinnyam Blueblood!?” he continued, hiding his disgust at the corruption he was about to perpetrate.

Whinnyam stepped forward shamefacedly; he knew what was going to happen. He was going to be promoted for no good reason, and be alienated from the whole company of men.

“You are now First Lieutenant,” the Captain said, handing him the insignia to go with the rank.

After that humiliation, the company split off into its platoons and combat practice began.

Collecting wooden swords, spears and shields, the company formed into two blocks of roughly equal size, facing each other on the grounds, making two shield walls, about twenty-five wide and four deep.

Both sides looked determined, as if this was an actual battle against actual foes. Whinnyam was caught up in how formidable the “enemy” looked, with their shields locked together tightly and the wooden staves pointing through, giving the appearance of an armoured hedgehog.

Blade, however, was unimpressed.

“What has every single unicorn forgotten!?”

Silence fell over the ground.

“Nopony? Do I have to spoon-feed you this basic crap?” He cast a glance over the crowd, trying to find somepony who could answer him. Suddenly, he saw his First Lieutenant, looking worried. He saw an opportunity to take this stuck-up brat down a peg.

“How about you, Blueblood?”

Panicking, the Lieutenant shouted the first thing that came to his head, something that was often clamped over his horn when he was much younger.

“Magic inhibitors”

“I hate to admit it, but this weed is right.”

Whinnyam had difficulty keeping his mouth closed on hearing his Captain say that. He had actually done something right!

“In peacetime, many unicorn guards find it more practical to leave them off, as magic often helps them keep the peace.” Blade began to explain.

“However, when the guards have to do some proper work, magic inhibitors, also called horn cones are key to the unicorn’s survival on the battlefield. When fear overcomes them, unicorns no longer have full control of their magic; it is not unheard of for magical accidents to wipe out half of the guard. I’ve seen entire battalions turn into Evergreens, teapots and assorted punctuation marks,” the Captain continued, a serious look on his face.

“Now GO GET HORN CONES!”

Upon hearing these words, about a half of the company dropped their weapons and slowly made their way out of the lines, tripping over everypony on the way, before running off and returning with metallic cones upon their heads, then clumsily making their way back to where they were, tripping over every weapon on the way back, before picking up their wooden implements and trying to make themselves some space. It was painful to watch, and it all made Blade want to cry.

This was his company that he was supposed to take to Ponyville without attracting attention.

“Celestia... Save us all”.

N.B.
Whilst I've tried to make this chapter as entertaining as possible, I don't think it's very exciting, you'll have to deal with it until I put the next one up.
Next, barfights and drunk ponies.

Comments

[Less_than_good]

Updates
So sweet and tasty
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Don't be too hasty
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[J8ck78]

hehehehe it's still funny