Lupo the Butcher

by Zobeid

Plucking Turkey

For the remainder of the day Lupo kept Gilda busy running simple errands while he stayed in the shop. When she actually showed up for work again the next morning — and nearly on time — he decided maybe she was serious about the job, and he started training her to work in front and wait on customers.

First he showed Gilda how to weigh and wrap meat, write a sales ticket and count out change. When he thought she was ready, he turned over the front of the store to her and retreated to his office in back.

Most of the customers who came in were surprised to see Gilda behind the counter instead of Lupo, but they soon learned she could be just as surly as her boss. As the day wore on, Gilda slumped lower and lower on the stool behind the counter. “So bored…” she moaned to the empty shop.

Shortly an older griffiness came into the shop, with a fur wrapped around her shoulders and her beak tilted upward. She glanced about, then approached the counter and began ringing the bell for service — even though Gilda was already Right There.

Gilda popped her chewing gum and asked, in zombie-like tones, “Can I help you?”

“Young lady! Young lady!” the hen huffed. “I require a large turkey. Fetch one at once!”

“I’ll see what we’ve got in back,” Gilda answered in the same bored monotone as before. She shuffled back to the store room and opened the ice box. There was exactly one turkey left. She grabbed it and brought it up front to weigh. “Eight and a quarter pounds,” she read from the scale.

“Oh no, that won’t do at all! It’s too small. I require a large turkey.”

“This is what we got, toots. Do you want it or not?”

“Now see here! I am a regular customer, and I always get a bigger turkey than this. I demand that you fetch me a big turkey!”

Gilda narrowed her eyes, took a deep breath, and answered, “I’ll go get my boss.”

She found him in the office with a newspaper draped across his face while a light sound of snoring emanated. She grabbed his shoulder and dug the blunt tips of her talons into it. “Hey, Lupo!”

He snerked awake, flailed for a moment and snatched the newspaper from his face. “Waah! What happen?”

She explained, “There’s a prissy old hen up front that wants a bigger turkey, and we ain’t got one.”

He grunted, “Huh… That must be Brunonia. Artsy fartsy old harrower! PTAH!” he spat. “You let me deal with this. You watch, maybe you learn something.”

Gilda followed him to the front of the store. Lupo forced a smile as he saw the customer. “Brunonia! What can I do for you today?”

“Oh, thank goodness you’re here! This new girl just doesn’t know anything. Look at the tiny turkey she brought out to me!”

Lupo made a show of examining the turkey, concern written on his face. He tsked and said, “I see, I see what you mean. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of this!” He turned to Gilda and scolded her, “Don’t you know this is my most important customer? You only bring out the best for her from now on.” Then he grabbed the turkey and said to Brunonia, “I’ll get you a good bird, just a moment!”, and he disappeared into the back room.

The sound of the icebox door slamming was clearly heard, and in a few moments Lupo returned with another turkey clutched in his talons. To Gilda it didn’t look any bigger than the one before. In fact… She squinted. It looked like the same bird.

Lupo put it on the scale. “Now let’s see how this one weighs out, eh?” As the needle swung, he let his talon slip over onto the scale platform and press down upon it. “Twelve pounds!” he announced.

“Oh, yes! That’s much better,” the griffoness said. “I knew you’d come through for me, Lupo.”

“I always aim to please my best customer,” he replied, puffing up his feathers a bit.

“Ooh, here’s an idea! Why don’t I buy both of those turkeys?”

Lupo’s eyebrows raised, and Gilda stifled a snicker. Lupo just shook his head and said, “Limited supply! One per customer.”

Brunonia’s smile turned to a pout. “Surely you can make an exception for me?”

He spread his hands in a gesture of helplessness. “It wouldn’t be fair to my other customers.”

Gilda chimed in, “Hey lady, you already got your big plucking turkey. Just take it already!”

Brunonia gasped! “Such language! How dare you speak to me that way? Don’t you realize who I am? My husband is chairman of Sternmetal Horizons. I myself have a chair on the Midtown Arts Nobbling Council. To be accosted by such a fowl-mouthed guttersnipe is simply beyond the pale…”

“Please, please!” Lupo interrupted. “Calm yourself; she meant no offense. That’s just the name of the turkey.”

She blinked. “The name?”

“Sure, sure! Is special breed of turkey. Very rare! They’re called plucking turkey because of the way they molt and pull out their own feathers. Is new import from Lopanga. Hard to get them.”

“Ohh… How exotic! In that case, I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions.”

“Is OK. Here, let me ring you up!”

Soon…

A posh dining room was the scene of a fancy feast: a griffin family gathered around the table, enjoying their turkey dinner. Brunonia was speaking to her husband, “…and they’re quite difficult to get. I must procure another for when the Fitzfeathers come over, don’t you think?”

“Mmm-hmm,” he grunted and nodded, then wiped his beak and added, “Not bad, not bad at all.”

Brunonia turned to her son. “How did you like your plucking turkey, Junior?”

Bouncing slightly in his seat, he grinned and replied, “That was plucking good, Mom! Could you pass the plucking potatoes?”

Comments

[Hillbe]

Was this Spike & Ikes student film festivals 'Lupo the butcher' ? Name sounds familiar ......

[Zobeid]

7147302

Yes. . . This is basically just like the film. Except that Lupo is a griffin. And he doesn't fall to pieces for no reason. And Gilda is in it. And things happen.

[Hillbe]

Ah son of a.......(off goes the hand) the hazards of being a butcher.

[Seether00]

Customers. Worst part of having a business