Decent Challenge

by Mal Masque

Prelude to Mayhem

Somewhere in the far reaches of the Universal Nexus

Everything was burning. Grassy landscapes were consumed in red flames, towns were swallowed whole by seas of yellow, people once vibrant and colorful reduced to nothing but ashen husks, and the entire world was nothing but a burning ball of blaze. And at the very heart of it all rested a lone figure, sitting beneath a blackened dead tree, chewing on a slowly frying wheat stalk, the monster who did it all. He wore a colorful tailcoat suit, unstained by soot or flame, sported white gloves and a tall, yellow, high-silk hat that cast a long shadow, and had a haunting-looking white mask featuring a pointed red nose and a manic fanged smile. To make things even weirder, the guy had no corporeal physical body (literally looked like just a floating set of clothes on an invisible body) and was talking to a slightly burnt skull in his hands.

“Y’know, getting directly involved in causing mass destruction is fun and all, Adam,” The mysterious being said, his voice somewhat distorted and giving an echoing vibe. “But after a while, it gets a bit tedious for myself, the Magnificent Mister Mayhem, Chaos Entity extraordinaire, to deal with on a constant basis.” The masked being looked at the skull, the singed black bone only staring at him with hollow eyes. “Why did I repeat myself and give my identity, Adam? How else am I supposed to introduce myself to readers if they haven’t read the prequels?” Mayhem glared at the skull once more. “Right, forgive my outburst, Adam, I often forget you’re bit of a bonehead.” The masked being cackled loudly, tossing the burnt skull away as it rolled down the burning hill. Mayhem reached to his side and pulled out a (oh god, that’s nasty) small fleshy human eyeball with purple iris. “But as I was saying, Sebastian, I’m getting a bit bored. It’s not fun anymore, I mean,” He made a sweeping gesture towards the raging inferno. “These guys didn’t even put up an actual fight! One gust of my MAYHEM MIASMA,” He demonstrated his special attack by expelling a plume of black and purple smog from his sleeve at a nearby rock, causing it to corrode and turn to mush. “And their little brains were so warped, they started turning on each other like a bunch of rabid hyenas on a rotting carcass.” The eyeball offered little response. “I know, it was funny to watch, but it’s still boring.” Mayhem sighed, pocketing the eyeball and rising to his full eight feet in height, and began aimlessly drifting about the hell-scape he had so easily created.

“I think I should try something a bit new with my onslaught of bringing true chaos to everywhere in the Nexus.” Mayhem remarked, gliding aimlessly through the remains of a burnt town. He spotted a roasted broom laying on the ground, so the madman picked it up, slapped a pair of googly eyes on it and rested it on his shoulder. “But the thing is, Horace, what am I supposed to do? The Universal Powers declared me a menace to the Nexus after that unregistered fighting tournament, the other Chaos Beings think I’m too reckless and don’t give a toss about the balance of things, and my short attention span keeps me from thinking up really awesome plans.” He gave the broom a little jostle, the googly eyes bouncing about with reckless abandon. “Of course I’ve got confidence in my abilities, Horace! Don’t you judge me!” Mayhem removed his hat and stuffed the broom completely inside. Looking about, Mayhem entered a burned out home and found a rock that a child had pained with a clown face on it and a worn stone hammer. “Look, Evan, Mister Smashy, I need ideas here. Otherwise I’m going to go sane from boredom.” Mayhem gave the hammer a little shake, his eyes lighting up for a moment. “What you say?” He held up the hammer to his ‘ear’, while stuffing the rock in his pocket. “You want me to do… Oh, that sounds…” Mayhem gasped, pulling the hammer away. “Mister Smashy, that’s horrific! Think of the lives that will end and worlds that will be destroyed!” He brought the hammer to his chest, giving it a tight hug. “You’re my new favorite.” Mayhem stuffed the hammer into his hat and vanished in a puff of purple smoke. The masked menace reappeared in a completely blank white room, where naught but a small table and mug of steaming coffee rests. Mayhem drifted over to a wall, grabbed a marker, and drew a dartboard on the wall. Once his little drawing was complete, several small yellow dots appeared on the dartboard, and a bundle of purple darts appeared in Mayhem’s hand.

“Alright, let’s find a Cluster with the weakest walls.” Mayhem quipped. He carefully aimed the dart at the board, aligning it with a simple shot, before simply throwing it behind his back, the dart ricocheting off the walls of the room until impacting on the dartboard, pinning a rather bright dot near the rim. Mayhem walked over, plucked the dart off the wall and stuffed it into a small beaker. Mayhem breathed out a small puff of his miasma into the flask, the dart dissolving and mixing into a purplish-green mixture. Suddenly, the mixture exploded into a bright cloud, flashing a variety of bright and happy colors. Mayhem stuck his head into the cloud and gave a big whiff. “Hmm… I detect rainbows, smiles, friendship, harmony… and magic!” One wave of his hand and the cloud dispersed to part of the room, Mayhem now holding a small glowing orb of an earth-like planet. “Smells like Equus, the realm of magic and harmony…” Mayhem reached into his pocket and produced a small photo of a smiling goat-headed creature with a pair of mismatch antlers and big yellow eyes, Mayhem’s smile shifting to a frown. “And the home of that draconequus rat, Discord…” The photo burst into yellow-green flames, burning to ashes in seconds. “GAH! That no good orderly traitor! Turning the other Chaos Beings against me and preaching his goodie-goodie ‘friendship is magic’ CRAP! Oh, this just went from total destruction for funzies to revenge quest with a mix of overkill!” Mayhem snatched the flames of the photo midair, using his Chaos Magic to form the flames into a map of Equestria, the largest nation of Equus, and easily the most powerful. He had his target, now all he needed were the proper tools. As he pondered this, Mayhem’s recently acquired ‘friends’ tumbled out, propped up on seats and tables that materialized out of nowhere.

“Gentlemen, we need to brainstorm how I’m going to leave Equus as nothing but a simple memory in the Universal Community.” Mayhem explained. “Now, I said I wasn’t going to directly intervene, but I still need ideas on how I’m going to make this ruin. So… SUGGESTIONS!” He scanned his cohorts with curious intent, waiting for their reply. “Really, Adam? Just give the local villains super weapons and tell them to just blow everything up? How one track can you get, you bonehead?!” The skull said nothing in return. “Do a little dimensional displacement, you say? Well, Sebastian, if that were only so simple. I’d need to pick out just the right saps to toss into the heap, decide whether or not to brainwash them into helping or straight up trickery, and I’d also need to figure out how to cover up my tracks to keep them from getting revenge.” He shot a glance at the broom. “Nah, getting stupid ones is just a recipe for disaster, Horace, especially if they’re both stupid and powerful.” The broom shifted in its position. “Yes, the smart and powerful are problematic enough, but they’re probably a good bet.” Mayhem paced about the room, eventually coming across a bookshelf that materialized out of nowhere, plucking a large leather-bound book up and flipping through the pages. “Maybe there’s something in my scrap-book that can give me ideas.” The masked menace flipped through the aged pages, glancing at photos of himself at scenes of mass catastrophe, each and every single one of them a ‘selfie’. “Let’s see… Millennium Attack on London? Nah, vampires are overdone. Cataclysm of Orr? Too much magic and cleanup to deal with. The Blissification? No thank you, SIR! Burning of Rome? Fun afternoon, but no real stuff I could use there.” Mayhem slammed the book shut, groaning loudly. “UGH! Why can’t I find anything useful here?!” A creaking sound echoed throughout the room, as Mayhem saw the hammer resting atop an old history book, one written in foreign characters. Mayhem snatched the book up, flipped through it, and slowly began madly cackling to himself.

“Once again, Mister Smashy,” Mayhem giggled, slamming the book shut. “You are my favorite.” Purple smog filled the room as Mayhem cackled with the sheer insanity of a madman. “To the year 198! Location: China and the soon-to-be Kingdom of Wei!” And like that, he was gone, off to enact the first part of a long and terrific plan, leaving nothing but echoing laughter and a haunting message. “Soon, Equestria will crumble and it will be by the hand of MY pawns! Gyah hah ha hah ha!”

---

Meanwhile, in Equestria…

Twilight shot her head up from the book she was reading, an unnatural feeling running down her spine. She couldn’t place it, but there was something familiar about it, a feeling of dread of dark times to come.

“Something up, Twilight?” Asked Spike, the little dragon sitting next to a small red teapot with a lemon stamped on it. “You got that weird look on your face.” Twilight sighed, backing away from her book and facing her number one assistant.

“I don’t know, Spike.” Twilight admitted. “I just got this weird feeling like…” She paused, trying to find it on the tip of her tongue. “Something big is going to happen, and I don’t know what.” She sat down on her haunches, unsure about what to think. Seeing his big sister in distress, Spike walked over and placed his hand on her shoulders.

“Don’t worry, Twilight.” Spike reassured. “Whatever it is, you and the girls can handle it, no sweat!” Twilight smiled at the little dragon, wrapping a wing around him in a comforting embrace. The little fellow always knew what to say to cheer her up.

“Thank you, Spike.” She said. “Did you remember to feed Lemon-Head?” Almost on cue, the tea pot shook a little. Frowning, Spike walked over to the tea pot, pulled out a little bag of lemon squares they had purchased from Sugar Cube Corner, popped the lid, dropped a few lemon squares inside, and quickly shut the lid. The tea pot shook a little, then finally remained still.

“Thanks!” Squeaked a raspy voice inside. Both Spike and Twilight sighed, having grown used to dealing with yet another odd mouth to feed. But Twilight was still not at ease, with that feeling lingering on her mind. What could it mean? And could it spell danger out for herself and Equestria? These questions, she hoped, would never be answered….

Author's Note:

It begins...

For those of you who didn't read "A Chaotic Little Party", Mister Mayhem is an IDA original character, a rogue chaos entity from a universe long since extinct who has made himself an enemy of everyone everywhere. Next chapter, we will introduce the main pawn of it all, a warrior of pure unbridled fury and... oh, who am I kidding? You probably know from the cover summary. Stay frosty, everyone.

~IDA Official, Head Writer Mask

Comments

[The laid back hunter]

Is this dynasty warriors 8 Lu Bu. If so equestria is done for especially if he's equip with SOUL FUCKING CRUSHER!!!!!

[Mal Masque]

7106803 It's an amalgamation of the Dynasty Warriors 6, 7, and 8 Lu Bu, PLUS the completely insane version from the anime Souten Kouro. Be prepared!

[Penwing25]

can anyone provide me with a decent challenge!
-Lu Bu- dynasty warriors 5