Before Closing

by Rambling Writer

6:42 PM - Whirl

“That… was a mistake,” I groaned, and vomited again into the trash can I was hunched over.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” said Aegis. His voice was quite high-pitched, and he couldn’t keep his hooves or tail still.

“‘S alright,” I mumbled, the can making my voice echo. “Y’didn’t know, and I thought I cou-” I retched, but nothing came up. My stomach was feeling better, but that horrific, reeking, godawful stench unique to vomit was still wafting from the trash can into my face, and that didn’t do me any favors. I gagged. “I thought I could handle it.”

“But I’m the one who suggested we go on the Tilt-a-Whirl!” moaned Aegis. “And right after dinner! I should’ve known better! I’m sorry, it’s all my fault, I’m-”

“Calm down, you ninny,” I said. “I’m fine.” What was with him? He was acting like this was the end of the world. I retched again. Nothing came up again. That was probably it. I extracted my head from the trash can and glanced at the employee who was patiently waiting for me to finish. “I’m done,” I said to her.

“Positive?” she asked. “Need anything like a napkin?”

“Since this morning, I’ve only had an aloeburger and some fries to eat,” I said. “There can’t be much else in there. And no napkin, I’m good, thanks.”

She nodded. “Alright. You’re going to want to get some fluids in. There’s a drinking trough right over there.” She pointed down the grassy path.

“Great. Thanks.”

Aegis and I set off towards the trough as she took away the trash can. Aegis kept on babbling a constant stream of words while his tail flicked around like a whip. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, we never should’ve-”

Okay, this had to stop. I clouted him on the head. Not exactly lightly, either, but I was frustrated. “Dude. Chill. I’m fine. A single somewhat bad experience on a ride isn’t going to make me hate you.” When we reached the trough, I buried my head in the head in the water and drank deep. A small sign there helpfully notified me that some magic would keep anything unclean out of the water — whether debris from the ground or my own mouth — and so it’d always be safe to drink. It tasted fine enough, so I guess it was working. The water felt good as it entered my stomach, and I didn’t feel queasy again.

“Sorry,” Aegis muttered, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s just, I, I hate seeing you like that, and I was the one who said we should go on that ride, an-”

I pulled my head out of the water. Pinning his head between my front hooves, I forced him to look me in the eye, my muzzle still dripping. “Look, Aegis, just, just calm down, okay? It was your idea, but I was fine with it, and I feel better already. It’s nothing major and it’s got nothing to do with you. Okay?”

“B-but I-”

“Okay?”

Aegis swallowed and nodded. “Okay.”

“Good.” I released him and semi-staggered over to a bench. “I’ll take a few minutes to rest, though. I’m still not a hundred percent.” I flopped down on the bench, taking up the whole seat, and sighed. “You know, just three years ago,” I murmured, “this didn’t bother me. ‘S why I didn’t say anything when you suggested it.”

Aegis sat down on the ground next to the bench. “Oh.” He tried to look nonchalant, but he still had concern written all over his face.

“Don’t you hate how that happens?” I said to him. “How you can do all sorts of stuff and not feel bad when you’re a kid, or even a teen, but once you become an adult, it all goes away? Like, I used to be able eat a footlong sub and still feel hungry, but now I’m full just before I’m done.” I hung my head over the edge of the bench and looked at him upside-down. “You know that feeling, right?”

“Deep-fried cake,” Aegis said wistfully. “When I was younger, my parents wouldn’t make it. Now that I can make it myself, I can’t keep it down.”

“Yeah. That. Or being able to stay up all night.”

“Drink several cans of cider in a single sitting.”

“Ooo. That sounds good,” I said. I almost licked my lips.

“Run all day and not get tired. Or at least not be completely sore the next day.”

“Vault over fences and low walls without a second thought.”

Aegis grinned a little. “Ride a certain fairground ride without puking?”

I chuckled. “Heh. Yeah.”

Aegis rubbed my hair a little. I liked it. “Well, it’s all part of growing up. It’s not that bad yet, we’ve still got a few decades before we’re over the hill.”

“I know,” I groaned, “but…” I stared up at the sky, watching the few wisps of cloud drift by and the occasional pegasus push one into position. It was a very blue sky. “It wouldn’t be so bad if I felt any different. In the last few years, I, I haven’t felt like I’ve been getting any older.”

“Physically or mentally?” Aegis asked, sitting up a bit straighter.

“Both. I stopped growing five years back and I completed going through puberty, so that’s the physical bit, but…” I rolled onto my stomach to look at Aegis rightside-up. “I’m still not sure I’m ready to be an adult. I know I am, I can do everything an adult needs to do, but sometimes, it feels like I’m a filly only 14 or 15 years old in a 23-year-old’s body, copying everything the grown-ups do just to get by and hoping no one tries to call my bluff.”

“I thought I was the only one who felt that way!”

My ears went up. “You, too?” I asked, propping myself up on my forelegs. “But, come on, you used to be a royal guard.” If there was any job that made you feel like you were a mature adult, it’d be that one.

“When you get right down to it, your superiors in the Guard are really just teachers who’re a bit nastier.”

“Yeah, but… no offense, but you were trained to kill people.” I winced internally; that came out a lot cruder than I expected, practically accusatory. But it was true, and I couldn’t think of a better way to put it.

“We placed more an emphasis on protecting Equestria,” said Aegis, “but, technically, yeah. And I never really went into intense combat and had to actually kill people, so that was never really a reality for me. My duty was mostly bodyguard duty for the Princesses, a few nobles or diplomats or other VIPs, some police patrol, and… that’s it, really.” He shrugged.

“So what about Tirek or the Changeling Invasion or something like that?”

“I wasn’t in Canterlot at the time of the Invasion, so I can’t talk about that, and Tirek…” Aegis sighed. “Tirek wasn’t anywhere near what we trained for. Just an unstoppable force that I was helpless against and could do nothing but watch as the Big Ponies handled it. It’s…” He flicked an ear with a hoof. “It’s as if I’m a colt and my house just burned down. I’m sitting there, watching my parents run back and forth, trying to deal with stuff I’ve never of, like ‘insurance’. But all I know is that my house, one of the things that was always there, is gone.”

“Dang,” I muttered.

“That never happened, by the way,” Aegis quickly added, “it’s-”

“Yeah, a metaphor, I get you.” I’d never really thought about it that way. Whenever something bad threatened Equestria, I’d always thought, “Let the Royal Guard handle it.” But if the Royal Guard couldn’t handle it, well, how would they feel? Like they’d failed, probably. They only have one job: protect Equestria. Then something like Tirek comes along, overpowers them, and they’re in way over their heads and feel young and stupid. And if almost all of Aegis’s experiences in the guard were like that (when they weren’t easy and boring), it was probably amazing he was as well-adjusted as he was.

I rolled back onto my back and looked back up at the sky. “I kind of feel the same way about the grocer’s,” I said. “We grow our own food to sell, so every now and then, we naturally have a bad season or year. I was smart enough to know what was going on even when I was a young filly, but we never had any serious problems with money or food. I always thought Mom and Dad had some secret method to keep the family alive that was too complex for me to know. That goes for the bills and stuff, too. Then I grow up, I’m responsible for running a lot of the store, and the secret method? Save your extra money and pay the bills when they come. Lather, rinse, repeat.” I grinned an upside-down grin at Aegis. “I still feel like I’m making some horrible mistake that’s going to come back and bite me, but that really is the best method, right?”

“I hope so, ‘cause that’s what I’ve been doing. Except for saving for college, I don’t need to worry nearly as much about that.”

“Huh? Why d- Wait. The R.G. Bill, right?”

“Yeah. I’ve still got some college expenses, but the Bill takes care of most of them.”

“Lucky.” I stared at the sky for a few moments. “You wonder if anyone else feels the same way about this? About feeling overwhelmed by adulthood?”

I heard the grass rustle and guessed Aegis was lying down next to the bench. “There’s gotta be. I don’t think it could just be us two, right? Not unless we’re soulmates, and I don’t believe in those.”

“Good. I don’t either. But if others feel like this, how come we never hear about it? Not in books, not in the theatre, not in the movies, nowhere.”

“I dunno. Maybe everyone else is too scared to admit it because everyone else looks like they’ve got it down?”

“Maybe.” I was reminded of school, how the teachers always said, “Don’t be afraid to ask questions!” because apparently if you had a question, chances were at least one other person had the same question. If Aegis was right, there could be a large chunk of people out there who were just acting out the motions and hoping no one else would see them choke. Maybe even everyone.

Great. What a comforting thought.

“And what about the Princesses?” continued Aegis. “Luna likes to dress up for Nightmare Night. You think she’s a lot younger at heart than we think?”

“Or Twilight. At least Cadance could prepare for her… thing. Twilight just kinda became a princess one day out of the blue. Do you suppose she ever just sits back and goes, ‘holy crap, I’m a princess’? I know I would.”

I could hear the grin in Aegis’s voice. “And if it’s true of all of them, then Equestria is being led by a bunch of alicorns who really have no idea what they’re doing.”

“I wouldn’t go quite that far.”

“But just imagine it.”

I did. It wasn’t a pretty picture.

I heard Aegis grunt and soon he was standing over me. He still looked concerned, but there was a lot less of it. I could live with that. “You feeling good enough to get up?” he asked.

“Yeah.” I rolled off the bench and onto my hooves. “I’m already feeling kind of rided out, though.”

“Gee, I wonder why.”

“And since I’m also carnival-gamed out, I was thinking we could go into Luna Pier and find something else to do that isn’t in here before you leave. Something a bit lower-key. That sound good?”

Aegis nodded. “Sure. What do you want to do?”

“I dunno, what do you want to do?”

“I dunno. Do you know what’s in town?”

“No. Do you?”

“No.”

Sigh.

Comments

[cosmosain]

Marris

this is the only reason im here