Choosing Sides
"Thirsty?"
I tried sitting up, but stopped myself as a sharp jab of pain shot through my back, "Ah! Yes, I'm thirsty."
The Princess just sat there with an unconvinced, stoic face, "Then I will get a maid to bring you some water."
"No, it's fine... thanks. I'm just, I'm going to get up now" I told her, while struggling to get up. Since when was I so weak?!
My actions obviously made the princess alert, as she immediately shot up from her stool, knocking it over, "Jack, you are weak, please, lay back down."
I ignored her and sat up. Looking down at myself, I noticed that I had a new pair of clothes on... at least, the way a horse would make human clothes. If anything, I looked like I just stole Aladdin's robes.
How did they even get my measurements? I thought to myself, but quickly shrugged it off, knowing it would probably for the best if I didn't know. Soon after, I redirected my attention back to the alicorn, and was immediately greeted with a concern-filled stare.
I fake-yawned, "Well, it was really nice talking to you Princess, but I better get going..."
With that, I pushed myself up but instantly felt a jolt of pain streak through my entire body. I yelped and plopped back down.
Celestia now frowning, lit up her horn and my pain subsided.
She leaned over to look at my body, and whispered to herself, "...you're still injured. What pony would do this to you?"
I laughed the most cringe-worthy, fake-laugh that anybody has ever heard. It was the type of laugh you would make, when your boss made a really bad joke, but you didn't want to be fired. Obviously, it gave her the wrong impression, and she looked even more worried.
A moment of awkward silence passed, before I started speaking again, "Thank you for your concern Princess, but I'm fine!"
To prove my point, I started standing up, "See? Perfectly-"
Another annoying surge of pain was ignited in my shoulder. I looked back to Celestia, who flinched from my pain, but continued watching me.
"I'm seriously fine! It doesn't even hurt that much..."
Celestia just stared at me even more, like she was trying to read my mind. Can these ponies even read minds? Regardless... I started to break into a nervous sweat.
Luckily, the Princess gave me a break and sighed, "That will do for now... in the meantime, please meet your new royal escorts. I can assure you they are... trusted. I would like to further speak to you, however, I have a meeting with the Griffon King. Goodbye Jack, I will speak to you as soon as the meeting is over." With that, light formed around her and she exploded into an aura of light, and vanished.
Wait... escorts? I searched around the room until I found my two 'bodyguards' standing at attention in the far corner. They looked exactly like the one unicorn who almost killed me!
They didn't even meet my gaze. All they did, was stare at nothing in particular, and faced forward.
I better talk to them, or something, or they're going to think I'm intimidated.
"So... you guys like cards?" I coughed awkwardly.
2 hours later
"Seriously? How can I even cheat? I don't even have magic!"
"Well, yes... but there is no logical way you can win four times in a row!"
I threw up a Cheshire-cat smile, before directing my face back at the stoic guard, "So... you forfeit?"
The guard smirked before throwing another five bits into the pile, "Hit me!"
Soon, an ominous wind began gushing from all directions, forcing me and the guards to cover our eyes from the flying debris. The wind also blew the cards and bits into a spiral, much like a tornado.
A golden light began to form as a ball in the center of all of the spiraling wind, before it popped, forming a white, pony princess.
The magic-show nearly scared me to death! Ponies! I swear they want to kill me! I knew better though. I knew she didn't care about me. These ponies won't trick me... not anymore.
After the princess realized that I was fine, her ears rotated a complete ninety degrees, towards the sound of hooves shuffling. She cocked her head towards the sound; finding one guard standing stiffer than a block of concrete, and the other one completely frozen, stuck in an awkward position of attempting to pick up a bit with his mouth, and attempting to do the traditional guard-stance at the same time.
Celestia sighed, "You two are dismissed."
As soon as she finished the last word, both ponies flew out of the door at the speed of light, leaving me and the horse overlord, alone.
She looked back towards me and frowned , "You know... I do care about you, Jack. You are in Equestria now, so I consider you to be my subject."
I placed my palm on my forehead, "Yeah, and that's why you left me with murderous, crazy guard."
Her frown was only getting worse, "I'm sorry... We are trying to find who did that to you. When we opened the shuttle gate, we found you laying there, alone, completely unconscious. My sister and I had a parade prepared for you."
I just shut her out. Likely story, it was her guard! I'm not falling for this train of lies; that is, politics. I could be eating pizza right now, and watching T.V. But nooooooo, because of stupid politics, I am sucked into this mess! I angrily thought to myself.
I didn't answer, leaving Celestia to stare at me, and think about what she did. Of course, she didn't though. Instead, she raised her head and gently spoke to me, "Jack, please follow me. I will show you to your room."
I nodded, before standing up and following her out of the clinic. She actually seemed really sad, which is weird. In public, she always has this modest smile on her face, no matter the situation. It was basically her default-face.
I put up my own poker face as I walked side-to-side with the alicorn.
None of us talked during the entire walk. Not even a single word... but, what would you expect? She obviously wanted me dead. It was like a cobra and a mongoose pretending to be friends.
However, the silent walk of awkwardness eventually came to a halt, as we came across another hallway. Unlike the rest of the castle, the walls here were purple. There was also a door in the middle.
She gestured me inside, and so I did. I grasped the doorknob, and peeled open the door. When I looked inside, I found a very, very large room. It was massive! You could fit an entire soccer team in here, and still have separate beds for everyone!
A gargantuan window was positioned in the center of the wall, with golden drapes idly hanging over it. There was no bed, but there was a human-sized pillow centered in the middle of the room.
The room was also filled with several bookshelves, a nightstand, and a stuffed-giraffe, sitting under said globe.
Of course, I wanted to throw myself onto the pillow and do a happy-dance, but I had to keep it down, otherwise Celestia would think her deception was working.
My face did brighten though, and unfortunately, Celestia noticed. When she saw my face, her tiny smile sprung back up. She giggled, "I see you like the room?"
Keep your cool!
"Y-yeah. It's, bigger than my old apartment."
Celestia nodded, before peering out of the window on the other side of the room, "Jack, what would you think of me, if I told you that I moved the sun?"
Moving the sun? I know magic is incredibly powerful, but doubt it can do that.
"If unicorn magic was that powerful, I would probably freak out."
She didn't answer, instead, she closed her eyes and hummed, "As a precaution, I should tell you that our sun works differently in Equestria. The sun actually drops, and then replaces the moon within seconds. It might scare you, so I suggest you close your eyes. I assure you, that it's natural."
Wait, what?!
Before I could ask her any questions, she already started to walk out of the door, and then softly closed it behind her.
I didn't close my eyes though, instead, I rushed over to the window and glared at the sun, trying to make myself believe that it would slowly, slowly, set. But, nope! I watched in horror while the sun, and all of it's light just completely dropped out of the sky, and the moon and stars popped up where the sun used to be.
This is not natural!
A knock was heard on the door, it was Celestia, "You may open your eyes, now. Goodnight, Jack."
I heard metallic hoofsteps tap away from the door, as I zombie-walked over to my pillow.
Once I got there, I placed my hand on top of it, to feel the soft, warm embrace of the fabric. Then, I let myself sink into it. There was no blanket, but I still felt warm anyway. In fact, It was the most comfortable thing I have ever felt! It even smelled like fresh, washed laundry... but the sun dropping like that... that was just unreal.
There's no way that is natural!
I rolled over to my side to get more comfortable, taking in the smell of the pillow. And with that, I just stayed there, motionless. not being able to sleep. Obviously, I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon.
Tap! Tap! Tap!
There was some tapping being heard from the window.
"Hey! Let me in!" Tap! Tap! Tap!
A voice?! What?
With that, I tried getting up, but I struggled getting out of all of the pillow sucking me in.
The voice outside was relentless, "Please, open up!" Taptaptaptaptap!
I finally managed to flip myself out of the pillow, and then bolted over to the window.
I sought for some type of opening for the window, but there was none! Seriously, this medieval thing that Celestia has going on, has went too far!
A pegasus pressed a hoof to the glass and looked into my eyes.
It was strange, her eyes are glowing now-
POOF!
And just like that, she was no longer outside, but sitting on my chest, still holding the envelope. I will never get used to this world...
The pegasus shook her head in discomfort, before finally dropping the letter to the ground. She looked with at me a blank look on her face, "Sir Human, my teleportation potion won't last very long. Your Human leaders wanted you to have this.."
She gestured to the crumpled envelope, "..this... funny looking scroll. I have to go now, so have a good day... or night! It just turned night."
I glanced down at the letter, "Alright, but could you-" As I looked back up, she was gone. Fantastic!
Sighing to myself, I ripped open the oddly human-like envelope.
Now, there are two things that could happen right now...
One, I read the stupid letter, and something extremely bad will happen.
Or two, I read the letter, and the letter tells me that the human embassy screwed up, and I get sent back home!
I lifted the piece of paper, and read aloud,
Central Intelligence Agency Document 34:10
Hello, Mr. Harrison.
We have news, pertaining that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, are in fact, terrorists.
For your time remaining in the Equestrian atmosphere, you are obliged to record everything, and anything Celestia says.
Evidence suggests that she plans to commit genocide on all of mankind, therefore, she is not to be trusted.
If you had not been previously been informed by this information, you must know that griffons and ponies, in fact, have a large array of 'magic' to be used at their own, personal, use. Their 'magic' has been used to force our ships out the sky. It is a threat.
The princess has also been known to use her 'magic', to influence the minds of others. Do not let her influence you.
Presenting this message to any individual will be considered treasonous. Not recording the princess's communications, will also be considered treason and you will be arrested on return.
If you agree, then please wipe your right brow within the next five minutes.
Afterwards, you are ordered to terminate this message.
Good luck, and bless America.
Wait, what?! Wipe your brow, or I will be arrested? See? This is why I hate politics! This letter probably isn't even true! Ok, think... the New America people, probably put some kind of camera or something in here.
Cautiously, I roamed my eyes around the room, for anything out of place. As I did, I peered over to the giraffe that I saw before.
I strode over to it and picked it up. Usually, in those spy movies, people would always put cameras in the eyes.
I tapped the eye, but it felt normal. I did find a tag on it...
To Luna, From Celestia
D'awwwwwww- wait, no! Focus!
Alright, so I have to admit that I don't trust Celestia. I also know that I don't trust the new founding fathers. So, why do I even have to get involved? I'm not risking my life over this!
Knowing that it has been about three minutes already, I hurriedly wiped my brow.
...
And... nothing happened.
Sighing, I sulked over to the pillow, before landing face-first on the weird bed, and immediately sinking into it.
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7053480
Fixed.
Sorry about that.
Fight!!!!!
For humanity and For United Nations space command then for America YAY
Could have sworn that I read this story on fanfiction.net a couple of years ago....
7053675
Boom! Look at the author, droppin' the law like it's hot.
However, good author, while I cannot fault you for bristling at the provocative language levied against your story, I would also be wary of making excuses. The reason the story was written doesn't change the story itself, and trying to defend yourself with such excuses only serves to make your position weaker. Be confident. If you're going to respond to criticism, do so like you did in the majority of your comment--acknowledge that you read and understand it and will keep it in mind for your future writing. That's how you present a dignified, humble image as an author who is both comfortable with his work while still willing to improve from the criticism brought against you.
Yeah I came here for a lighthearted fic and I'm not sure if I want to read this kind of story
What happened to it being called Equestria?
Edit: Apparently this is fixed, nevermind.
So basically, Princess Celestia gives Earth, money, so one Human, every ten years, can visit Equestria ?
49.media.tumblr.com/954029fa7555d64085551777776458ba/tumblr_ngwiwpOali1sh43kgo1_250.gif
Sounds too easy i mean, if she really really wanted to help the Earth Governments, i don't think she would have really mind giving them money until they're good to go again, i mean, that's basically what she's doing here, i don't see why one human, should go to Equestria for this.
If she wanted to calm the political tention, why didn't she just asked for more humans, at least a small group to start, then if the Equestrian society accept them, to accept more and more until both World can communicate without problem.
Really it sounds too easy here.
7054504 It's a fanon thing, the Kingdom itself is Equestria, the world it and the rest of the peoples of the planet are on is Equus
7055205 I know, but earlier in the story it was stated that the planet was called Equestria, and apparently it is fixed now.
While this is an interesting concept for a story, I'm still rather unsure about it. Your wording is rather awkward in some places and some of the speech and behaviour is just flat out odd.
I'll continue to read before making any solid decisions, though.
This story gave me AIDS but not in a bad way.
uhhhhhhhhhh did this just turn into a crackfic or something? Really went a bit overboard with the chapters after 1, felt weird reading something ok to immediately 'why?'
i have to unfav this honestly. i will watch this story just in case tho
I was expecting a fic of a boring guy winning a raffle to equestria with little to no political stupid conspiracies or of the like.
Coulda done without the whole war thing, maybe the U.N. makes Equestria an illegal place to visit because people are assholes
Also would have maybe put in a little politics here and there but never go anywhere because the human is just an ordinary boring guy
too over the top, 0 - 100 in 10 seconds flat
I think you might wanna rework your story and plan it out a bit but thats all up to you, write what you want or write something resembling to what you want but isnt, thats your desicion as a writer on whether you do it to for yourself or for others
So the Cia is entrusting this mission to a random guy who won the raffle and is likely to betray them and then had the top secret message delivered to the freakin castle by a pegasus with possibility of it getting intercepted?? Now i don't know alot about intelligence agencies but I have a feeling they usually plan missions like these way in advance before actually executing. Plus why didn't they just send one of there own guys there, I presume they had control over the raffles so why didn't they have one of there operatives win?
or he could just tell the princess and/or seek asylum on Equestria? Is the CIA executive director mister bean?