The ABCs of Harmonic Death

by Vertigo22

C is for Celluloid

Author's Note:

A special thanks to NameGoesHere for becoming this stories editor!

A unicorn mare was walking around her living room. A knife levitated in front of her. As she rounded a corner, an earth pony wearing a dark cloak leaped out at her and tried to stab her. The mare pushed her attacker away and tried to stab them. The other pony skillfully dodged and charged into the mare, causing her to lose her balance and fall down. The mysterious earth pony walked over and loomed over the unicorn. The unicorn opened her mouth, but faltered what she was going to say. “Umm... Oops?” She said; blushing slightly.

“Cut!” Came a voice. Both mares looked towards its source. Standing near a camera was a unicorn stallion with a navy blue coat, a dark brown mane, and cutie mark of a film reel. “Arlene,” the stallion began, “we’ve done this half a dozen times.”

Arlene looked down at her hooves. “Sorry, Cooper,” she said. “I just get too scared to remember my lines.”

Cooper facehoofed and stormed out of the studio set, grabbing a cigarette from a nearby table on his way out.

Arlene let out a sigh. The earth pony walked up next to her and gave her a hug. “Thanks, Silvia,” said Arlene.

Meanwhile, Cooper stood in the studio lot. He levitated the cigarette into his mouth and lit it with his magic. Taking a drag of it, he began to think to himself. ”Amateur, can’t get something as simple as ‘No, please, don’t!’ correct.”

He exhaled and started to pace around a little. ”Yeah, but she’s a rookie actor. Can you blame her?” He put a hoof up to his chin. ”I guess not.” He took another drag and could feel himself calm down. ”Maybe I was too harsh on her. I just wish she’d get her line correct.” Cooper exhaled again and frowned slightly.

As he stood there, thinking over his actions, the door behind him opened. Cooper swung around and saw the producer who’d been assigned to oversee production exit the building. “Cooper!” He yelled.

Cooper put his cigarette out and faced the producer. “What do you want, Broker?” He asked.

Broker, an earth pony stallion with a dark brown coat and three bits for a cutie mark, stared at Cooper for a moment before speaking. “Cooper, you’re a talented young stallion,” he began, “but watch your temper. I know this was only your first time losing it, but don’t let it happen again.”

Cooper smiled at Broker. “I know,” he said. “I just wish Arlene wouldn’t forget her lines so often.” He shook his head. “It’s beyond frustrating.”
“Cooper, mistakes will always happen,” Broker said. “Be they professional actors, like Silvia, or rookies, like Arlene.” Broker wrapped a foreleg around Cooper. “Now come on, let’s get back to work. It’s only the fifth day of filming.”

Cooper smiled slightly. “Yeah, you’re right.” Using his magic, Cooper opened up the door to the studio and started to walk back in. Turning his head, Cooper smiled at Broker. “Thanks, Broker,” he said.

Broker smiled back and followed Cooper back inside.

Cooper walked back up to camera. Nearby was the movies script. He started to read over the scene to refresh his memory. ”Okay, Arlene is in her home. Silvia jumps out. Silvia almost kills her. Got it.”

Meanwhile, Arlene and Silvia were practicing their lines. “Now remember, Arlene,” Silvia said. “You’re supposed to say ‘No, please, don’t!’.”

Arlene smiled. “I think I’ve got it!” She exclaimed. Silvia giggled to herself and Arlene ran back over to the set and got into position. Silvia trotted back over.

“Okay,” Cooper said, “take seven!” He yelled. Cooper watched as, finally, Arlene got her lines
correctly. A smile formed on his face. Finally, they could go onto the next scene.

---

Back at his apartment, Cooper laid on his bed. ”Living a few blocks from the set pays off each night,” he thought to himself as he looked out at the starry night sky. He turned his head to a dresser drawer and levitated over a journal. A pencil was tucked into the binder. Ever since filming began, he’d begun writing down his daily experiences. He flipped a few pages and wrote down.

A few minutes later, he shut the journal and placed it back on the dresser drawer. He laid back and quickly drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Cooper woke up feeling chipper. He got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. He turned on the shower, and as it warmed up, looked in the mirror. “Okay, today, we’ll get more filmed, and we’ll be efficient about it. No walking out during filming,” he said to himself. The air was getting heavy from the hot water. Cooper entered the shower and started to hum a joyful tune.

After a relaxing shower, Cooper quickly dried off and went downstairs. He made himself some pancakes and looked at a nearby clock. ”Only six-fifteen. Making good time,” he thought to himself. ”Still, it’d be nice to get there early and look over today’s shoot.” Cooper quickly finished the last pancake and walked to the front door. He put on a jacket and looked into his living room. He smiled and took a packet of cigarettes from a nearby bookshelf, levitating them into the right pocket. With his preparations complete, he walked to the set.

The outside air was chilly and the sky was cloud free. Cooper smiled and began his walk to the set, whistling to the whole way.

Upon arrival, Cooper noticed Broker outside, smoking a cigarette. “You’re here early,” Broker said. “What’s so special about today?”

“I wanted to look over what we’re going to shoot today so I could prepare.” Cooper levitated the packet of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket and lit one, taking a long drag of it. “What are you doing on set so early? Don’t have you have fancy producer stuff to do?” He jokingly asked.

Broker chuckled. “Not right now.” Broker put his cigarette out and began to walk into the studio set. “Don’t be too long, though. Shooting starts in thirty minutes.”

Cooper nodded and finished his cigarette. He put it out and walked into the studio. He made his way over to the script that was set on a table. ”Okay, today we shoot a scene invoking Arlene attending a funeral and a big fight scene in a suburban home. Shouldn’t be too difficult,” Cooper thought to himself.

---

“Places, everypony!” Cooper yelled. Arlene, Silvia, and other crew members got in place for the first scene of the day. It was a funeral scene for a friend of Arlene’s who’d died earlier in the film. Several extras were also on set. “And... Action!” Cooper yelled.

Arlene and the extras approached a casket that had been placed on the set. She approached the casket and placed a hoof on it. Looking down, she shed a tear. ”Okay, good job, Arlene,” Cooper thought to himself as he watched the actress grieve near the casket. ”These extras are great, though. I’ll have to commend the casting crew.” Cooper smiled and yelled, “Cut!”

Cooper clapped his hooves together. “Excellent job, everypony,” he said with a smile. “Now, let’s do another two ta-” before he could finish, a ceiling light exploded. Then another. The cast and crew all flinched from the sudden noise and sparks.

“Evacuate!” A crew member shouted as he ran to the door. The whole building poured out into the lot. They all looked at the building, talking to one another.
Cooper turned to Broker. “Faulty maintenance?” He asked. Broker shrugged and walked off to get an electrical engineer.

A few hours later, the power had been restored. The cast and crew had decided to play various games as they waited. Cooper on the other hand found himself reading a book on the founding of Ponywood. As he was reading, Broker walked over. “So, we’re going to have to move production to a new set,” Broker whispered.
Cooper groaned “Why, exactly?”

Broker sighed. “While the power’s been restored, they want make sure there’s nothing else wrong with the set,” he said. “Better safe than sorry, right?”

Cooper let out a sigh. “Yeah, but it’s going to take us a while to rebuild. Can’t we just delay production or something?’

Broker raised his eyebrow at Cooper and then smirked. “Nope.”

Cooper rolled his eyes. “Okay then,” he said. “What’s your plan?”

Broker put his hoof to his chin. “Well, we can move everything out and then disassemble it,” he said. “Or we can disassemble it inside. Your choice here.”

Cooper thought to himself for a bit. “Let’s disassemble everything and then bring it out,” he said.

Broker nodded and walked over to the rest of the crew.

---

It was a lengthy process, but after several hours of work, the sets and equipment had gotten out. “Hey Broker, I’m going to bring the film over to the new set, okay?” Cooper said.

Broker nodded as he went to speak to the maintenance crew.

Cooper held the film in a bag that he wrapped around himself. He started to whistle a happy tune to himself as he made his way across the lot.

A few minutes later, Cooper arrived outside the set. He placed the bag on the ground and sighed heavily. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. By now, the moon was high in the sky. ”So much for a productive shooting day.” Cooper thought to himself as he levitated a cigarette out of his jacket pocket. He lit the cigarette and took a drag. A few embers fell off of the cigarette and onto the bag. The young director noticed and levitated it towards the set door. He exhaled and turned his attention back towards the bag. ”Wait... didn’t Broker tell me something about this stuff?” he thought.

---

A few days before filming.
“Now, Cooper,” Broker said, “this stuff is a pain in the flank to make.” Broker pointed to a roll of film in front of Cooper. “It’s also really expensive to make, so don’t damage it. Understand? We don’t want to go over budget.”

Cooper nodded. “Just one question: What’s so special about the film?”

Broker facehoofed. “Cooper, were you even listening to me?” Broker asked with a hint of aggravation. He let out a sigh before speaking again. “Look, just don’t damage the film.” he said. “Oh, and I know you smoke. So do not, under any circumstances, smoke near it. I can’t stress that enough!”

Cooper nodded again. “Will do, Broker!”

---

Cooper’s eyes widened. He put the cigarette out and ran over to bag. He inspected the film and let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank Celestia,” he said. None of the embers had landed on the film.

Meanwhile, Broker looked at the numerous disassembled set pieces. “Time to start bringing them over to the set pieces,” he said to himself. He walked over to a cart containing various arts and crafts materials. A few crew members wrapped a harness around Broker, who began to
walk to the new set.

A few minutes later, Broker arrived at the set. “Hey Coope-” Broker’s eyes immediately landed on a cigarette. His eyes darted towards Cooper, who was still kneeling next to the bag containing the film. Broker undid his harness. He galloped up to Cooper and stared directly into his eyes. “Is that film damaged?!” he yelled.

Cooper gulped. “N-No, it isn’t,” he whimpered. “I swear, I checked every bit of it!” Cooper was overwhelmed by fear. He’d never seen Broker angry. The producers eyes were filled with fury.

Broker backed away and stamped his right forehoof. “I should fire you for being so reckless,” he said, still aggravated. “You could’ve destroyed the film. Or even gotten yourself killed..”

Broker turned around and looked at Cooper. “But, I won’t. It was hard enough getting this movie together. It was even harder to get a director who was willing to work with the material given to them.”

“Th-Thank you,” Cooper said, still shaken from Broker’s outburst. “Want me to help you with what you brought here?”

Broker took a deep breath. He seemed noticeably calmer than he was before. “You bring that in. I’ll head back to the other set and bring more over. Hopefully, we can resume filming in a day or two.” Broker galloped back to the other set.

Cooper started to levitate the various arts and crafts materials into the new set. ”In hindsight,” Cooper thought, ”it might’ve been wise to ask him where I should place the film.” Cooper placed the materials near a wall. He repeated the process until Broker returned with a new cart, this one containing the pieces to the funeral scene that they were filming earlier in the day.
“Broker, where do you want me to place the film?” Cooper asked.

Broker walked into the set and looked around. “I’ll go get a table and bring it back. In the meantime, just leave it inside. And don’t leave it near something that’s flammable!” he yelled before galloping away.

Cooper levitated the film into the set and placed it near the middle of the room. As he stood there, Broker’s words echoed in his head. ”He’s right. I could’ve gotten myself killed. How could I be so damn reckless?” Cooper shook his head. ”Now isn’t the time for questioning. I should go back outside and bring the rest of that crap in.”

A few hours later, the deconstructed sets and various other materials from the first set had been brought here. Cooper walked up to Broker. “So, what do the higher ups think of us moving production over here?” he asked.

Broker chuckled. “They don’t care what we do, just as long as the movie gets made,” he said. “Just direct the movie and don’t worry about it. In the meantime, go home and get some rest. You’ve done enough today.”
“Thank you,” Cooper said with a smile. Broker nodded back and went into the set to check on progress. Cooper, meanwhile, started to make his way back home.

---

One month later

“And that’s a wrap!” Cooper yelled. After forty-six days, filming of “The Killer Pony Next Door” had finished.

“Hey, Cooper,” Broker said. “Listen, I know it’s only very short notice, but would you mind staying late tonight to help edit the film?”

“Sure,” Cooper said, despite being tired from a long day’s work. “Can’t be that hard, right?”

Four hours later, Cooper let out a mix between a groan and a yawn. “This is unbelievably boring.”
Editing, as it turned out, was a very slow process. At least I’m not eating my words from earlier, he thought. He levitated another roll of film and looked at it. “Yeah, but this result isn’t much better,” he said to himself. Cooper placed the roll back down and let out a sigh. ”I feel like I’m going to fall asleep if I keep doing this,” he thought. He shook his head. “Just another hour,” he told himself.

Cooper levitated another roll of film down and began to thread it. As he used his magic, his vision began to blur. “Must... Stay... Awake...”

Down below, Broker was reviewing some marketing details for the movie. “Okay, we’ll have a trailer before The Mare in Black,” he said to himself.

THUD

Broker jumped. He got up and trotted upstairs and walked near the editing room. He knocked on it. “Cooper, are you okay?” he asked.

No response.

Soon, a horrible smell overtook him. He slowly opened the door. “Cooper!” he yelled, running over to him. A large gash stretched across the unicorn’s head. His horn had snapped in two. Broker ran back downstairs to get EMTs, but it was too late.

---

Broker finished most of the editing on his own. Two other ponies helped, but Broker often stayed late to finish it. Lucky for Broker, none of Cooper’s blood damaged landed on the film. Towards the end of editing, Broker added a “Dedicated To” message at the start of the film.

After a few months of post-production, the film was complete. It was met with lukewarm reviews. Broker didn’t care, though. He was just happy that Cooper’s legacy was completed.

Comments

[Nikkori]

Fill the void up with celluloid,
Take a picture,
I'm with the boys

Marina and the Diamonds, Primadonna

[Vertigo22]

7091562 Thanks for reading.

And nice reference.