Whodunit

by Pracca

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like...

“Whoa…”

Rainbow Dash was the first of the mares to step into the dining hall, and her words did a marvelous job describing her friends’ similar reactions. A bit of awe, jealously, and just a tinge of disbelief was forefront in their thoughts as they took in the opulence. The room was almost as large as the entrance hall, and very nearly twice the amount of luxury went into its decoration. Whereas a slightly brighter array of colors greeted guests into Brindlehoof Manor, this hall was clearly meant for a more relaxed atmosphere.

The colors were all dark, warm, and rich; this was true for most of the house, but only here was it brought to such prominence. On the opposite end of their door was a fireplace three ponies high and four ponies wide from nose to tail. It was flanked by a pair of metallic burgundy doors that led to a sterile white room; presumably, it was the kitchen, as at that moment Pompadour strode through one of the doors balancing a gleaming chrome covered dish. The butler speedily carried it to one of nearly a dozen medium-sized round tables, setting it down in front of the DJ they’d met earlier, Vinyl Scratch. He lifted it away to reveal a veritable mountain of pistachio salad; a custom order judging from Vinyl’s overjoyed expression.

Pompadour gave a hidden little smile of satisfaction at a job well done before stepping back inside the kitchen. It became apparent at that point that there were several cliques developing around the hall. Octavia and Scratch sat side-by side, with those teal and cream-colored mares sitting across from them at one table; at another, Hoity-Toity sat with the light-blue socialite stallion in the shades and spiky mane, though said stallion seemed more interested in conversing with Soarin, who seemed to be in the middle of regaling him and the orange-maned mare with some kind of story. Four of the mares went off to occupy a table of their own, but Twilight was more interested in the table where Princess Luna was seated.

She trotted over, sitting next to her and giving a bright “Hello, Luna!”

“Ah, Twilight!” Luna beamed. “I was wondering where you’d gotten to; as a matter of fact, your helpful little antics were the topic of discussion here with my newfound friend. I’m sure you recognize him?”

Twilight looked over at this mystery guest, sitting across from them both. It was the griffin she’d seen earlier, but only now did she recognize his face, along with his finely-waxed moustache. “Gustave!”

“Ah, so you do recognize me, mademoiselle!” Gustave Le Grand said with a cheery, if a bit snooty smile. “We have had, how do you say it? Minimal time to really sit and chat, I was afraid you had forgotten all about poor Gustave! But as I can see, I was clearly mistaken.”

“Which means that you owe me something to the tune of forty bits.” Luna taunted with a cocky smile. Twilight had to stifle a snort, hearing that they’d been betting over something that trivial. “My sister’s star pupil is not one to forget the face of a friend; correct, Twilight Sparkle?”

“Absolutely, Luna!” Twilight said, trying to act confident behind her heavy blush. “How could I forget all the chaos Pinkie caused on that train? But, that does make me wonder, why are you here, Gustave? Not that I’m not happy to see you, of course!”

“Oh, it is fine, Ms. Sparkle!” Gustave slurred out with his thick accent. “Truth be told, I have never attended one of zese magnificent parties before; but zis year, I was invited by ze esteemed Nicodemus himself to oversee ze recipes for ze food; and if I may say so myself, they are” he paused to kiss his fingers with a loud smack “simply fantastique!”

“Er, yes.” Luna added, looking down at the bizarrely alien dish that had been laid out for her. “Fantastique is certainly the word I would use for this.”

---

At the other corner of the room, closer to where they had entered, three of the other mares were heavily invested in a debate over the ultimate genre of music; insults ranging from “hooligan” to “stuffy” to “banjo-twanger” were being tossed in every direction, but one pony was uninterested. Fluttershy, specifically. Her sole goal at the moment was her little charge, Angel Bunny. Try as she might, she could not convince the disagreeable bunny to even try the salad Pompadour had prepared him.

“Please, Angel.” Fluttershy pleaded. “I know it’s not your special salad, but the nice butler assured me these are the most splendid greens in all of Equestria. Won’t you at least try a bite for mama?”

Angel tossed the plate of lettuce and assorted fixings straight into the pink-maned pony’s face, staining said pink to a significantly darker shade, by way of a raspberry vinaigrette. As the dinnerware silently slid off of her face, Fluttershy sighed in defeat; surely he’d get hungry enough to try something by tomorrow? Worrying for her dear little companion had to wait for a moment, though, when a hoof to the ribs brought her back to reality. She looked up to see Rainbow Dash looking aside at her.

“Hey, Fluttershy.” she whispered. “Wait a second before you look, all right? But across the room, that orange-maned pony’s been glaring at you since the moment you got here.”

“W-what?” the frail yellow mare asked, suddenly trembling in confusion. “But, why? I, um, I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong… yet.”

Dash just shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno; but I thought you should know she was doing it.” The other pegasus went back into the argument she’d just taken herself out of, leaving Fluttershy to risk a scant glance over in that direction.

Sure enough, the mare listening to Soarin speak, at that precise moment, was sending a deathly leer straight towards her. Fluttershy made a bit of an eep noise and averted her eyes, and saw Angel Bunny sitting on the table, glaring right back at the mare before reaching over to Applejack’s plate and acquiring a carrot to munch on. The mare watched this, and couldn’t help but wonder if her rabbit friend knew anything about that mare. She certainly seemed familiar, but from where Fluttershy just couldn’t place.

“ATTENTION, EVERYONE!”

All the guests looked up from their conversations and their food to the entrance to the dining hall; standing tall in the entrance was Nicodemus Pie, followed closely by Pinkie. He stepped inside, sporting a bright pink vest in place of his cloak, with white vertical stripes. His strides were long, grandiose, and more than a little… what was the word? Oh, yes. Flamboyant. The author’s horn glowed with a crimson aura as he approached, suddenly lifting everyone’s tables up into the air, stacking them in a corner neatly before approaching a lever that was at the bottom of the little staircase leading from the door to the main floor. Above them, the ceiling itself opened up, and a large rectangular dining table descended to the center of the room, followed by a meticulously-embroidered maroon tablecloth and a trio of silver triple-candlesticks. All the chairs came around to seat the guests, so that one chair was placed at each end of the table; 8 chairs each sat on the longer sides. Pompadour immediately rushed from the kitchen with a cart full of plates, fresh silverware, and any amenities a gourmet diner might require to enjoy their meal fully.

“Please, everyone, gather up your parties and have a seat! I’d like to get this show started off on the right hoof!”

They did so, Twilight an co. reuniting with Pinkie to arrange themselves directly on the right-hand side of Nicodemus, who obviously sat at the head of the table. Once the others had similarly found their places, Pompadour placed a glass of fresh wine down for his master. The mustachioed writer raised a spoon and clinked the glass, assuring that all eyes were now on him.

“If you’ll all suffer a doddering old pony to give a speech for a few minutes, I’d be simply elated to oblige you. If it’s not obvious by my advanced age, and not giving a hoof what my mane looks like in my own home, I am Sir Nicodemus Archifranzibald Pie II, Lord and Proprietor of Brindlehoof Manor, Sherriff of Shetlandshire, and Earl of Overly-Long Titles! I shall be your master of ceremonies for the next three days, as we partake in my annual Nightmare Night Celebration!”

As the others cheered in excitement, mostly towards the fresh wine in their glasses, the mares from Ponyville exchanged a glance. Nopony had mentioned three days.

“Now, as I said before, there’s an order to doing these things; so if it’s all the same to you, let’s get introductions out the way! No need to waste any more time with that when we could be talking about something important: like how my glass is empty, oh POMPADOUR~!”

On his cue, the butler made haste in coming to his master’s side with a fresh glass of wine. Nicodemus thanked him and returned to his speech.

“So, going clockwise, I’d like to say a few words for you all.” He gestured to the right, at Pinkie. “This, everyone, is my delightful little niece, and baker extraordinaire, Pinkie Pie! I’ve been dying trying to get her to attend my parties one of these years, and it seems I’ve finally worn her down! Of course, she didn’t come alone: Twilight Sparkle, pupil of none other than our beloved Princess Celestia and Ponyville’s wonderful little librarian! Applejack, caretaker of Sweet Apple Acres, home of the renowned Apple family and, most importantly, Zap Apple Jam! Then, of course, there’s the darling fashionista, Rarity!”

The unicorn blushed and bowed a little as her round of applause came around. Nicodemus didn’t skip a single beat, and kept going with the introductions.

“Then, of course, what is there I can say about Rainbow Dash that we don’t already know? The up-and-coming star of the pegasus world, fast, daring, and loyal to the end! Miss, I might just have to write your biography one of these days.” he said with a chuckle. Rainbow Dash’s reaction was more along the lines of shocked joy than the casual humor the author seemed to be approaching it with.

“Now, then, I’m afraid I’ve gotten lost, where was I? Ah, oh, yes, Fluttershy! Darling, I’ve heard so much about you. Enough to know the less I say about you, the more comfortable you’ll be. Moving on!”

Fluttershy felt a sweet sense of relief as she was passed over for scrutiny. However, she couldn’t help but notice the orange-maned pony glaring at her from across the table once more. She tried to avert her eyes and listen to Nicodemus continuing the introductions.

“I’m simply delighted to have all six of you here, I’m sure we’ll have lots of wonderful things to discuss! Now then, I’m sure you ALL have heard the name of this celebration’s entertainment. The name Trixie rings a bell, yes? Well, good, because as it so happens the greatest illusionist in all of Equestria shall be personally ensuring each and every one of you is enjoying your time here to the fullest!”

Trixie lacked any semblance of the previous mares’ humility, standing up and soaking in every ounce of the applause.

“Then, if I may take a moment to gush a bit, may we get an extra bit of applause for this next stallion? My publisher, and supporter from the day he entered the business; frankly, probably the reason I haven’t blown all my money on something frivolous by now as well. THIS,” he said in reference to the socialite in black. “is my dearest friend, Bruce Mane!”

As the applause came, Nicodemus asked him to say a few words. Bruce shrugged and stood up. “I’m not much of a speaker,” he admitted in his surprisingly low, smooth voice. “but let me just say that I picked an excellent year to finally let you drag me to one of these parties of yours. A princess, the Elements of Harmony, the Great and Powerful Trixie? Old colt, if I didn’t know better I’d say you were trying to impress me.”

The guests all chuckled at Bruce’s feigned self-importance, contrasting quite nicely to the ACTUAL self-importance of the mare to his left. He sat back down without another word, and the introductions moved on.

“Mares and gentlecolts, I present to you Gustave Le Grand! Our head caterer, quite possibly the greatest chef alive in Equestria!” The applause the overjoyed griffin received reflected Nicodemus’ opinion in the other ponies. Excluding, oddly, Princess Luna, whose clap seemed rather slow and impassionate.

“Now,” Nicodemus began. “This next guest, well, how can I ever call her a guest? She’s near and dear to my heart, and if I had my way she’d still be here with me! Please, a rousing hoof for my precious little filly, Octavia!” Claw and hoof clapped for the musician, who blushed quite immensely as she hid her head behind the white unicorn beside her. “And of course, it’s almost a crime to introduce my daughter without THIS pony. It seems like they hardly spend a moment apart; hay, she’s almost like a second daughter; ladies and gentlecolts, Octavia’s good friend, Vinyl Scratch!”

Scratch gawked at Nickie Pie with a face that severely questioned his word choice, but nobody seemed to notice. “Of course, her other guests are spending their first year at this event, along with dear Vinyl. Please, say hello to Lyra Hearstrings and Bon-Bon!”

As the others clapped and cheered, the unicorn named Lyra grinned like a schoolfilly and waved back with excitement fit to burst from her; Bon-Bon was a bit more reserved, nodding but generally keeping stoic for whatever reason.

“I’m sure the magnificent Hoity-Toity needs no introduction?” Nicodemus asked. The fierce applause replied that no, he most certainly didn’t. “I simply couldn’t stand to throw yet another of my famous parties without inviting the genius behind my magnificent wardrobe.”

Hoity-Toity merely nodded, looking almost sheepish at the love he was getting; surely an act, but a well rehearsed one at least. Then, the introductions came to the orange-maned mare. “Everyone, please give a warm welcome to Carrot Top, a delightful young filly who is, by my own opinion, the greatest carrot farmer in Equestria and supplier of my own personal stock!”

“C-c-carrot supplier?” Fluttershy whispered to herself, suddenly looking very nervous.

Rainbow Dash looked away from the commotion around the table for a moment, to find her dear friend starting to curl up in to a ball and sweat. Confusion and a tangible twinge of sympathetic agony hit the blue pegasus straight in the heart, and she put a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder to get her attention.

“Hey. Hey, Fluttershy, what’s the matter? C’mon, what’s wrong?”

“I-I know why that mare’s been staring at me!” Fluttershy whimpered.

“Why’s that?” Dash asked, curious, and feeling a sneaking suspicion that a certain earth pony was about to get bucked in the face.

“She’s Ponyville's biggest carrot farmer, I recognize her now! And little Angel Bunny can be a little… inconsiderate when it comes to other people’s property.”

Rainbow Dash glared back at Carrot Top, who quickly looked away. The pegasi sat back properly into their chairs, as Dash considered just how to get her revenge on that orange jerk.

“…Soarin, Wonderbolt extaordinaire.” Nicodemus continued on, finishing up his praise of the ace flyer.

“And finally, truly the star of tonight’s festivities, I humbly welcome our beloved Princess Luna herself to join us on this Nightmare Night celebration!”

Over the din of applause, he ended, “You’ve all come here for some of the most stupendous frights to be found in any corner of Equestria, and by my ancestors you’re going to get it! But such things take time, and shall come on the morrow; so, take the next few hours to get yourselves acquainted with our wine cellar, and get to talking; make friends, laugh! Eat, drink, and be merry, as the old saying goes, for tomorrow we die!”

“Hear, hear!” the ponies plus Gustave chanted, all downing their wine simultaneously. That, as it seemed, was the trigger for the festivities to really begin. For those next few hours, though civil, things took a very lively turn as ponies buzzed about the room, conversing with one another on all sorts of subjects.

Nicodemus sat down with Luna and Twilight Sparkle for their little chat, and though the lavender mare had an entire journal’s worth of questions, the one that dominated their time together was jotting down the mechanics behind the spell that powered all of those carriages he used for transport. Even Luna admitted her curiosity on how he managed to make a spell work on such a large scale. As he explained the concepts, his dear butler Pompadour was judging a ferocious pie-eating contest between Pinkie and Applejack. What had seemed a daunting wall of confections was done away with in a matter of minutes, and by the end of the ten-minute timer, a stuffed and thoroughly miserable Pinkie won by approximately three bites.

As both earth ponies shuffled for the bathroom, Soarin found himself unnerved by the relentless blue mare chasing him around the hall, attempting to smooth-talk him into putting in a good word to the Wonderbolts. Dash just didn’t seem to get that he’d promised to do so the moment she stopped chasing him.

Rarity and Hoity-Toity had convened nearly the instant the party had begun in earnest, sharing ideas for new winter designs and discussing the truly horrendous fall trends. The only one that wasn’t enjoying herself to any extent was Fluttershy. That familiar feeling of uselessness was settling in as she tried to do something to resolve the situation between Angel Bunny and the poor farmpony.

She’d tried bribing Angel with dozens of confections and treats, even a little sip of wine if he’d just try to apologize, if that was okay. Of course, each and every one was thrown back in her face. Except for the wine. He drank that, then refused her deal.

Then, against her own thoughts’ protests, she had gone to Carrot Top herself, to try and talk things out. To say it went poorly would be an understatement to a criminal extent. The pegasus barely got out more than five words, and was silenced by a single tail-smack from the obstinate farmpony. She went back to her abusive bunny, feeling dejected. At least the rabbit was mean to other ponies, too.

All six of the mares found themselves quite occupied in manners similar to this, until a grandfather clock stowed in some corner rang in a new hour: nine o’clock, PM. They all stopped hearing this, feeling a bit shocked that that much time had even passed. Nicodemus stood from his seat, clinking his glass again to get everyone’s attention.

“I say, it’s been wonderful having you all this morning, but I think we’ll be needing our rest for tomorrow! Pompadour shall show you to your beds; goodnight, all!”

Sure enough, the butler materialized from the nether, it seemed, at the doorway, gesturing for everyone to follow. The guests did so, until only Pinkie and Twilight lingered behind.

“You sure you don’t wanna come and say goodnight Uncle Nickie Pie?” Pinkie asked, looking a bit disappointed. Nicodemus just chuckled and patted her poofy mane.

“Ah, don’t fret, dear. I’ll be seeing you all tomorrow; right now, I just want to catch up on some reading. You’d best be running along now!” he planted a kiss straight on Pinkie’s forehead, and the earth pony giggled as she cantered off. Twilight wished her newfound friend a more civil goodnight, and followed her friend as she trailed the rest of the group up the staircase they’d found earlier in that day.

Pompadour led the ponies up to the third floor, where the reds were replaced by more blue and violet hues. The decorations was along the lines of water, and undersea life; the butler gestured towards the first door on his right. “Miss Pinkamena and guests, this room shall be yours.”

Pinkie led the way in as the rest of the guests were led down the hall to their own lodgings. The six that had been given this room, however, took the time to take in the exquisite furnishing. Though sparing, a few bits of calming artwork that matched the underwater vibe of their room sapped any remaining energy from the ponies. Twilight trudged past her bags, which had been carries up by Pompadour at some point and placed next to one of six beds aligned against the wall and next to one another. She crawled in under the sheets, her eyes already growing heavy as she joined in the long chain of each mare telling the other five goodnight. The bed was magnificent, cradling her body like a warm cloud as she drifted off into a peaceful, undisturbed sleep.

Rather, undisturbed until she was woken in the darkness of the night, to the dread sound of

“BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!…”

...of that.

Comments

[Waluigi Pie]

And it begins...

[SuperPinkBrony12]

I can't believe Fluttershy gave Angel Bunny wine even if it was only one sip, I don't think you're suppose to give bunnies alcholic beverages of any sort.

Also although it's nice to see Carrot Top takes no nonsense from anypony I think she was kind of rude to Fluttershy.

And it looks like Rainbow Dash just got on Soarin's bad side with all her pestering, she'll be lucky if Soarin still puts in a good word for her.