Playin' the Golden Record

by Ponycrafter

Road Trip!

Twilight sighed and slammed the door shut with her magic. It had been yet another perilous day for her, as well as tiring. She had to buck some apples for Applejack, try on dresses for Rarity and take over weather duty for Rainbow Dash. The latter wasn't easy, seeing as she was a unicorn, but she had managed to pull them all off - while barely managing to avoid lightning strikes from the crazy, prank-loving rainbow mare. Yep, just an ordinary day for Twilight Sparkle. As she planted her haunches into a chair, her stomach growled at her with the fury of a dragon. Speaking of dragons...

"Spiiike!" Twilight called. Her ears swiveled as she heard scaly footsteps prodding down the staircase to her room.

"Yeah, Twi? Sheesh, you look like a me-"

"I know, Spike," Twilight interrupted, trying to ignore the ravenous hunger in her belly. "It's been a long day. Could you make me something to eat? I'm starving!"

"Aye aye, cap'n!" Spike replied, imitating a pirate's voice with surprisingly good accuracy. He padded off to the kitchen, where clicks of buttons and dials being turned filled the air.

Twilight just wanted to get away from it all; Her friends begging her to help, writing friendship reports, and even the occasional disaster almost destroying Ponyville. She had considered taking a trip with her friends, but that would be too expensive - any trips nowadays cost thousands of bits, and not even her magic was strong enough to teleport her somewhere exotic. Images flew through her head as she thought of relaxing on the beaches of Floriluna (That's supposed to be Florida, I'm just too lazy to come up with another name :P) and sipping some delicious apple cider. Or perhaps she could go on a ski trip to Equestria's famous Griffon Alps and enjoy the hot chocolate while sitting near a warm fire. These images, however, were interrupted as a daisy salad planted itself in front of Twilight's snout, snapping her out of her stupor.

"Here ya go, Twi! A nice, tasty salad," Spike said. "Oh, and the stove's gas line just clogged. That's why I couldn't make any fries."

Twilight sighed yet again, and this time not just because she was tired, but because repairing the line would take days, not to mention it would cost yet another thousand bits. She just didn't want to deal with it anymore, and instead focused on her tasty salad. She gobbled it up quickly, leaving only the plate and a few daisy petals scattered about it. Her hunger was finally quenched, and she gathered the energy to stand from the chair and head over to her writing desk. She was soon joined by her number one assistant.

"Twi? Everything ok?" He asked.

"Yeah," Twilight answered. "Just a little bit of thinking's gotten to me - what if I took a vacation?"

The question caught Spike off guard. He hummed to himself for a moment before replying.

"Well, not much would be different around here. Your friends would miss you, though."

Friends. Friends...
Friends!

Suddenly, an idea popped into Twilight's head, causing her to bolt upright and smile almost as widely as Lyra.

"Spike, take a letter!" She said. Spike quickly obeyed, pulling a quill and paper seemingly out of nowhere. Twilight narrated her letter as Spike rapidly wrote it all down.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have been taking day after day of work, and it is getting exhausting. Helping friends, writing reports to you, the usual stuff. I've been thinking I should take a break from all this and go on a vacation to Las Pegasus with my friends. I bet that if we all pitch in a few bits, we could afford a decent trip there for a few days.

However, this is why I'm writing you; who will watch over Ponyville while I'm gone? I must turn to you when I ask this question. I cannot be in two places at once. Ponyville would be a wreck without me, and my cloning spell probably won't work after what happened last time.

Spike groaned at this, remembering all of the Twilights falling in love with various ponies around Ponyville as he tried to find the real one.

So, this is what I ask you: Do you know of anypony that could watch Ponyville while we're gone? If you do, please message me back soon.

Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle

Spike finished the letter just as his quill ran out of ink. He smiled and wrapped the scroll in a fine red ribbon, preparing to blow it away to the princess. He drew in a deep breath and blew fire on the scroll gently, causing it to dissipate and vanish into thin air. Twilight grinned as she thought of the reactions to her friends' faces when they found out they were going to Las Pegasus. Priceless!

Not five minutes later, Twilight heard a loud burp from behind her, followed by a heavy thump. She turned around, and as expected, a letter lay on the floor in front of Spike, wrapped in a royal red ribbon. However, next to it lay a large bag, full of something heavy.

"Whoa," Spike said. "How did I manage to burp that up?"

Twilight levitated the letter to her face and unraveled it, reading its contents aloud.

My Dearest Student,

I am glad to hear that you are taking a break from the everyday life of Ponyville. I understand your feelings. Being a princess isn't an easy job! Sometimes I wish I could go on vacation, but I need to stay here and rule Equestria with Luna. However, I believe you'll love this news.

There's been a brief conflict with the Griffons from the far north. They've gotten into a scrap with some of our guardsmen, and due to that, we now have around one million brand new bits in compensation money. I believe you know where this is going!

I have decided to send you one-hundred-thousand bits to pay for your fabulous trip to Las Pegasus. The money will pay for your housing for three weeks, as well as more than enough to enjoy the festivities there. While you're gone, I've enlisted a few rebel changelings to fill in for you. Don't worry, nopony will even know you're gone!

You will be staying in the glorious Neigh-on (Neon) Hotel on Prance street. I've already booked the room for you, thanks to Luna's help - I was never good with numbers. Prance street has many wonderful attractions. There's a fancy restaurant, a few casinos, and a wonderful dance club hosted by a great friend of mine named Golden Record. I've told him you're coming. I'm sure you'll get along great with him.

There's also my personal favorite place on Prance street - the spa! They give the best wing-rubs and horn-filings I've ever seen. They also said something about a "happy ending", but I've no clue what that means. Perhaps you'll know.

Enjoy your trip to Las Pegasus, Twilight. And by the way, if you happen to meet some "lucky stallion", remember to use protection!

Spike burst into a fit of giggles upon hearing this, and he was quickly joined by Twilight.

I mean it, Twilight. It's happened to Luna before, and it wasn't pretty!

Your Loving Mentor,
Princess Celestia

P.S. Don't worry about the changelings filling in. They're traitors to Chrysalis.

The letter ended with a well-drawn smiling pony head, with a wink in place of its left eye.

"Spike!" Twilight yelled. "Do you know what this means?!"

"Yep!" He quickly replied. They both jumped into the air, cheering the same words in unison.

"ROAD TRIP!"

---

"You wanna take me to Las Pegasus?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yes." Twilight replied.

"As in, the Las Pegasus?"

"Correct!"

"You're not joking?"

"Nope!" Twilight's already large grin grew ever larger as she saw Rainbow Dash's reaction.

Rainbow's reaction started like a time bomb. The input was put in, and things clicked around inside her head. When the time came for her to realize that Twilight wasn't joking, the fuse lit up, starting off as a small smile and gradually working its way up to a full on Fluttershy-esque squee!

"YYYYYESS!" Rainbow cried as her wings buzzed at an impeccable speed, hoisting her into the air. She did a series of flips and twirls in midair, laughing all the way. She ended her show with her world-famous Sonic Rainboom, shaking Ponyville and covering its citizens in a rainbow-colored mist. Rainbow then proceeded to do more flips, pulling into a nose-dive towards the unforgiving soil. Twilight saw Rainbow pick up more and more speed as she darted straight towards the ground, screaming one word:

YES!

Aaaand ending with one word as she smashed headfirst into the ground at breakneck speed.

OW!

---

Somewhere on the other side of the world

Chopstick Chomper yipped as he felt the ground beneath him suddenly jolt up, then settle back down in an instant. He glanced down at his seat, where his chopstick cutie mark adorned his flank. His straw hat tipped over slightly from the quake, but he reached up with his hoof past his red robes and tilted it back into place. He glanced around at the other surprised ponies that were picking themselves up from the ground. The calm, Ponyese music had stopped for an instant, then immediately began playing as the band members re-organized themselves.

"Me think Ponyville set new ground smash record!" Chopstick said. Across from him, Honorable Dumpling nodded, his gray beard and mane bobbing with his head.

"Me think so too."

"Crazy Ponyville!" Dumpling said.

"Honorable, but crazy!" Chopstick replied.

They both shared a quick bout of laughter before settling down and focusing on their noodles.

---

"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight yelled as she saw her friend plummet into the ground, causing it to tremble.

Where Rainbow had landed was a small crater. Twilight ran over to it, daring a look inside. However, instead of glancing upon blood and entrails, she saw a perfectly fine Rainbow Dash, stuck head-first in the dirt. Only her flanks and tail were visible. She yanked her head from the dirt with a satisfying pop!

"Rainbow Dash, are you alright?!" Twilight talk-shouted.

"Eheheh," Rainbow said, scratching her rainbow mane and avoiding Twilight's gaze. "Yes."

Just then, Twilight heard a buzzing noise from behind a house. She excused herself from Rainbow Dash and trotted behind the house, where a shocking - but welcome - sight waited for her.

"You must be the changeling filling in for Dash, right?"

The changeling nodded her head, igniting herself into Rainbow Dash's form.

"... Not bad," Twilight said, "But you've got the eye color wrong."

The changeling peered into a window and saw her reflection. Indeed, her eyes were green; definitely not what color Rainbow Dash's eyes were. The changeling simply shrugged.

"There'sss nothing I can do about it. Our eyesss are almossst alwaysss green."

"Close enough," Twilight said. "You can go ahead and fly up to Rainbow's home, I'm sure she won't even notice you're here."

The changeling nodded once more, then took off in a flurry of blue feathers.

---

"Well, darn-tootin' Tom! Ah'm a-goin' ta Pegasus!"

Twilight smiled sweetly as Applejack jumped up and down in front of her barn, forgetting almost completely about her apple-bucking. Big Macintosh trotted by, hoisting a cider barrel over his back with ease. He took one look at his sister, and began trotting away again, shaking his head. Meanwhile, Applejack was finished her jumping, and she now lay flat on her back, catching her breath. Not even a tough farmpony like her could jump like that for very long. The only exception was Pinkie Pie, because - well, she's Pinkie Pie. Enough said.

"Twi, I already liked you a lot before, but heck, now I just downright love ya!"

Applejack then took off into her home to inform her family of the news. Moments later, Twilight heard a surprising "Yeeehaw!" from the Apple family's house. Applejack soon emerged from the house, tailed by her family, minus Granny Smith, who was yelling at them to quiet down while she took her nap.

"Ya ain't got any idea how much this means to me, Twi!"

"I'm sure I do, Applejack. Your reaction was pretty much the same as Rainbow's."

Applejack deadpanned after this, before suddenly pulling Twilight into a tight hug. Twilight could feel her ribs crack under the enormous pressure.

"A... jack... air! Can't... need... air!" Twilight gasped loudly between her words.

"Ah, big bro, I think AJ's crushin' her!" Applebloom said.

"Eeyup," Mac replied. He turned to Applejack. "Ya should, ya know... let go."

Applejack was quick to obey, releasing Twilight from her iron grip and planting her haunches firmly into the ground. Twilight then burst into a coughing fit that lasted a few moments. She got a hold of herself, facing Applejack again.

"Sorry Twi, I'm just so-"

"Don't worry about it AJ, the same thing happened when I told Pinkie Pie and Rarity. You should start packing, the train leaves tomorrow!"

"Eeyup."

Applejack was about to whisk away, before she turned back and ran to Twilight again.

"Now, hang on a cottonpickin' minute... who's gonna work at the orchard while I'm gone?"

"Got it covered," Twilight said, nodding her head towards the shadows. Unseen before due to his black shell, a muscular male changeling stepped out of the shadows and into the light.

"SHIFTER!" The Apple trio shouted. They all made a move to tackle the changeling, only to be stopped dead by Twilight's magic. They all floated slowly into the air, protesting loudly and trying to reach the changeling. One of Mac's hooves came dangerously close to pulverizing the changeling, but he came just an inch short. The changeling, meanwhile, didn't even flinch. He yawned out of boredom, leaning against the barn's wall.

"Nonono, relax!" Twilight said. She had to raise her voice a bit to be heard over the protests of the Apple family. They all turned to her in surprise, wondering why Twilight wasn't trying to obliterate the changeling in front of her. Applebloom grunted and yelped as she twirled helplessly in midair.

"This changeling's a rebel. He abandoned Chrysalis," Twilight explained. The family remained silent for a moment, before a chorus of understanding "oh's" came from them.

"Yes. I did not like her at all. She was rather... bossssy." The changeling's voice was less "hissy" than the last changelings' voices were.

Big Mac was the first to speak up. "How do we know yer not lyin'?"

The changeling only blinked.

"You'll just have to trussst me."

The Apple family gave the changeling a wary look, before finally being released from Twilight's magic and being set gently on the floor.

"I suppose I can trust this shifter..." Applejack's eyes lit up with amusement as the male changeling transformed into Applejack's form, shrinking down noticeably. "Aren't ya a tad embarrassed at bein' a girl?"

The changeling rolled his - or her - eyes at the remark.

"I've portrayed girlsss many times before... I know all of their secretss."

Applejack and Applebloom gasped quietly at this counter-taunt. Twilight turned to the changeling, just as shocked. He turned to her as well.

"All of them." The changeling smiled eerily as he peered around to his now marelike flanks. Slapping them with a hoof, he nodded in approval.

Applejack growled, but kept her cool as she remembered that the changeling was only joking. Even if he was friendly, he still had a bizarre sense of humor.

"Aaaalright... but no funny business, ya hear?"

The changeling nodded again before trotting out from the farm, his tail held high in a taunting "show". He bucked a nearby tree, causing a few apples to fall from it. The changeling quickly yelped in pain, looking at his rear hoof.

"Thiss could take some getting usssed to..."

---

Four down, one to go!

Twilight smiled as she went over her mental checklist.

-Rainbow Dash [X]
-Applejack [X]
-Pinkie Pie [X]
-Rarity [X]
-Fluttershy [ ]

Twilight's smile then turned upside down as she thought of Fluttershy's reaction to going on a trip, not to mention finding out that a changeling was taking over for her. So far, the other changeling encounters weren't bad - Applejack's reaction wasn't too bad. Rarity was surprised, but accepted the fact. Pinkie pie just said 'Okie dokie lokey!'. Rainbow Dash didn't even care. How would Fluttershy react?

Her question would soon be answered as she trotted up to Fluttershy's cottage, decorated beautifully in flowers and natural-looking vines. Animal homes dotted the landscape around her home. Twilight braced herself mentally and knocked on Fluttershy's door.

Moments later, a white rabbit answered the door. He didn't seem quite happy at being disturbed from his nap. Twilight could tell he was napping because he was wearing a sleeping cap, as well as dragging a red blanket behind him. Twilight put on the friendliest smile she could.

"Hey there, Angel. Is Fluttershy-"

SLAM!

"-home?"

Twilight groaned as she knocked on the door again. If Angel did that again, she swore she would blow the door down with her magic. This time, however, Fluttershy opened the door herself.

"Oh, sorry Twilight, but the door got stuck again. We have to slam it to get it to open fully."

Twilight understood right away, and felt her anger towards Angel dissipate.

"Anyway, is there something I can do for you?"

"Yes, Fluttershy, there is. I have some news." Twilight put on a fake sad face, hoping to joke around with her friend a bit before spilling the beans. The reaction Fluttershy gave the opposite of sad, however.

"You're pregnant?! Oh, that's wonderful Twilight! Who's the father? Is it that handsome Doctor Whooves? Or maybe that hunk of a stallion, Big Macintosh?!"

Twilight stood dumbstruck. Fluttershy then flushed a deep red before averting her gaze.

"S-sorry, Twilight. I've been drinking."

Twilight stood even more dumbstruck than before. "Drinking?! You've been drinking?!"

"Yes," Fluttershy answered simply. She looked back at Twilight.

"What have you been drinking?! Don't be Applejack Daniels, please don't!"

"Coffee."

Twilight's surprise multiplied one thousand-fold.

"Oh."

That was all she could muster as she scolded herself inwardly for jumping to assumptions. A minute of silence passed before Twilight finally broke it.

"Um, no. The news is even better."

"Twins?"

"No!" Twilight said, and the two giggled quietly. "We're going to Las Pegasus - and you're coming with us!"

---

Beep. Beep. Beep. The sound of a heart monitor echoed through the hospital room.

"Well, Ms. Sparkle, it's nothing too serious. Just a few broken ribs is all!"

Twilight moaned in pain as she lay on the hospital bed with a large, white bandage wrapped around her chest. To her, it sure felt like something serious. After telling Fluttershy about the trip, the normally timid pegasus hugged her tighter than four Big Macintoshes would have. This in turn broke her already cracked ribs. Surrounding her were her friends, joined by Spike and a doctor in a white coat. Fluttershy's eyes were glossy with her almost crying.

"Oh, Twilight... I... I just-"

"I know," Twilight said. "You got excited." She smiled widely as the group laughed at her somehow funny words.

Quickly, the doctor trotted up to the bed, levitating a clipboard in front of his face.

"Now, Ms. Sparkle, your ribs aren't entirely broken. If I am correct, they should be healed by tomorrow morning, just in time for your train!"

Twilight and the group murmured approvingly at the doctor's words before being hustled out by a nurse. The nurse told them that Twilight needed her rest. Twilight's eyes agreed with the nurse's words as they grew heavy with fatigue. She turned her head and saw a crystal blue mare with an even lighter blue mane, lying on the bed next to her. Her cutie mark was a screwball.

"Hey, you're not injured. How come you're in here?"

"Bark! Bark bark! Aroof!"

"Oh... right."

Comments

[mbpony 512]

I hope some pony got a gambling habit because this is going to be hilarious.

[Ponycrafter]

I was gonna reserve that top comment...

[EhPacha]

Amazing job. No one's said it, so
1.bp.blogspot.com/-_TkbcIBMy1Y/T2Ioh3r-T_I/AAAAAAAABGA/BAJcgUhFm7c/s1600/firstpost.jpg

[myllamaispurple]

736029

my bet is that it would be rainbowdash