Flash and Crash Rainbow Dash

by forbritisheyesonly

Chapter 1

Author’s Note: This starts off super generic. I hope it progresses into something you like. I just kind of wrote what I wanted to read. Two things. I am terrible at commas. Terrible. Secondly this is my first fic ever and I am very nervous so please be nice to me ☺. Please.

Spiraling. Falling. Out of control. Rainbow Dash pulled up hard with her right wing, but it was too little too late, and she knew it. The only thing she could do was brace herself as she crashed through the roof of Sugarcube Corner. She landed directly on Pinkie’s dresser and lay there sprawled out and moaning. How had this trick gone so out of control? That stray gust of wind had been just enough to knock her off course and send her into a tailspin. Just before she lost control she saw a nearly blinding flash of light and then BOOM! She was hit with a slipstream that caused her to lose all control.

“Dashie!! So nice of you to drop in! You know you can use the door though right?” Pinkie giggled. Dash did not. “Oh no you are really hurt aren’t you!” With that Pinkie was bolting from the room. She came back moments later with the Cakes.

“Come on Rainbow Dash, We are taking you to the Hospital” cried Mrs. Cake with alarm.

“No I am all right, I can just ARGHHHHHH” Dash screamed as her legs buckled out from under her and she hit her head on the corner of Pinkie’s bed.

She awoke a few hours later in the hospital. She saw Pinkie pacing the other side of the room, her mane and tale hanging limply and some strange emotion on her face that Dash couldn’t quite put a hoof on. Suddenly, as if sensing her, Pinkie glanced up at Dash and saw her eyes open. Pinkie’s mane popped back into a cloud of fluff and she shot into the air.
“DASHIE!!!!” “I was so scared after you hit your head you wouldn’t wake up! I didn’t know what to do, I was so worried!” Pinkie squealed as she wrapped her hooves around Dash and nuzzled her neck.

“Pinkie get off” Dash winced, “You’re crushing me.”

“I’m sorry Dashie,” Pinkie complied but looked a little sad to let her go.
Dash couldn’t help but notice the pained look on Pinkie’s face. It was kind of strange that she had stayed behind at the hospital for so long when she should be working. And why was Pinkie so worried when she was knocked out? Why had her mane deflated? Dash shrugged it off as a friend worrying about a friend, but still, something in Pinkie’s eyes told her she could be wrong.
“How are you feeling Dashie?” Pinkie almost whispered. Why was she being so tender, Dash wondered?

“I’m fine just banged up a little.” Dash managed to wheeze. It hurt to talk, it hurt to breathe, everything hurt. A few moments later the nurse came in.

“Everything is looking okay Rainbow Dash. You sprained both wings and broke your left hind leg. Also you have a slight concussion.”

“Oh yeah Everything is A-okay” said an irritated Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie zoomed to her side. “Its okay! I’ll take care of Dashie!” What do you say Rainbow Dash? You can come stay with me! It will be fun. We can play games and I will make you cakes and pies and we can have a party when you are better and I will read you a bedtime story every night and…”
Pinkie Pie was not even breathing. Rainbow often wondered how she talked so much. If she needed bed rest then Sugarcube Corner was probably the worst place in the world to go, but Pinkie seemed so excited. Rainbow was the element of loyalty after all. Also aside from Fluttershy, Pinkie would probably make the best nurse out of the group. She was a great cook and could be very caring when she slowed down to breath every now and again.
“…and we can tell ghost stories and we can sing and even though you cant get out of bed we can probably find a way to prank some people and we can preteeeeend we are going on adventures and…”

“Pinkie Pie!” Rainbow used all the force she could muster to break off the endless stream of babble coming from the pink earth pony.

“Yes?”

“Yeah, sure I will come stay with you. Thanks for offering.”

Pinkie jumped up and summersaulted through the air and landed what seemed like a gravity defying long time later. “IM SO EXCITED!” Okay, Rainbow Dash thought. So Pinkie is excited. She loves having company so that makes sense. It must be the concussion making me overthink things.
Pinkie wheeled Dash out in a wheelchair some 4 hours later clucking sympathetically all the way home. “Im soooo sorry for what’s happened to you Dashie. I’m going to take really good care of you. You will see.” Once again Dash was struck by how sympathetic and serious Pinkie was being. Almost a Somber, completely unsmiling Pinkie. It was kind of strange but at the same time it made Dash smile. She liked to see this new side to her friend, and if she were being honest with herself Rainbow Dash did love the attention.
That night Pinkie Pie had made her a hot noodle soup and changed her wing bandages for her. They were pretty nasty. Pinkie groaned and Rainbow Dash had to laugh despite her intense pain. It was 20% grosser than any wound Rainbow Dash had ever had. It was pretty cool. If only it didn’t hurt so horridly. Pinkie only had the one bedroom but she was letting Rainbow Dash sleep in her bed (this had been a big argument but Pinkie had insisted). After the bandage changing Dash was very tired and Pinkie saw that she needed to sleep. She shooed her up to the bed and tried to tuck her in.

“Hey Get off of me I can do that myself!”

“But Rainbow I’m just trying to help!” Pinkie had growled through gritted teeth as she forced the struggling mare into bed. Probably not great for my wings to be wrestling with her like this, thought Rainbow Dash. After tucking her in, Pinkie kissed her on the cheek and gently nuzzled her neck. Dash was glad the room was dark because her cheeks glowed a bright red. Hey cut that out Dash that isn’t cool, she thought to herself.

“Dashie when you were hurt today I was really scared. I care about you so much and I was so so so scared that you weren’t going to wake up. Thank you…thank you for waking up.” Pinkie had begun to gently cry. Rainbow could only faintly make out the shimmering tears on her cheeks from the moonlight coming in the window and illuminating Pinkie.

“Hey Pinks, calm down. Everything is okay. Why are you crying?”

Pinkie wiped away her tears and walked over to her pallet on the floor. “I don’t know Dashie…I’m Sorry. Try to get some sleep okay?”

Dash couldn’t.

Comments

[FreezingShock]

I'm no writer, and am therefore incapable of telling you anything really detailed on how to improve, but I do see two flaws. Let me try to give you some constructive criticism..

First of all, Rainbow seems strangely suspicious of Pinkie's behaviour. Pretty much everything she does in this story is entirely in character for her, yet Rainbow seems very eager, almost desperate even, to find some kind of hidden meaning behind her behaviour, which is a bit weird, seeing how there's really no reason for her to do so.

Second, the pacing is also slightly off. I feel you just swiftly move past some parts of the story which I really do think should get more attention. For instance, why is only Pinkie there in the hospital scene? Rainbow getting in a massive accident which gets her hospitalized seems like the kind of thing all of her friends would be interested in. So that's definitely a part of the story that could so with some expansion. And some parts are just somewhat weirdly paced, like what happens when they get back home.

I myself am absolutely terrible when it comes to dealing with criticism, and you did mention you were nervous at the beginning, so I'd just like to say that I wrote this little piece of amateuristic cricicism only to help you. Please don't take this as discouragement to continue writing

[Caramel Rain]

Cute. I like it so far, but its a little fast paced. This is not meant as discouragment, as I often have the same problem. Just maybe add a little bit. I'll be continuing to read this as it goes on, though

[Bearded_Monkey]

Will there be more to this? I sure hope so.

[forbritisheyesonly]

Well thanks everybody! I will keep all of this in mind when updating. There are currently five chapters that are pretty much planned and I will try to take this stuff and make it a bit better!

[Mechadust]

Pre-Reading comment-
I looked at the discription and read it over. After ii finished I said to myself: 'You know I could use a Rainbow Pie, wait that sounds really gay...'
But then again also sound delicious and spicy!

[Alexander-Crossover]

I'm interested to see where this story goes. It's not bad in terms of set up or overall plot but I do agree that Rainbow Dash seems to be overthinking here. It could use some tidying up but otherwise I am interested to see where this goes.

[TheMobFighter]

Dash Couldn’t Sleep? Well That Was Bad For Health Blah Blah Blah (Science And Stuff) And That's Why You Should Go To Sleep After A Serious Injury (Great Story By The Way!)