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Chapter 61,599 words

Chapter 1

It's almost no surprise how I ended up here. Even if it was my fault I told Fluttershy I was a great bowler and it turned out false, I feel like I should be a great bowler so that's what matters right? Living with a pony you don't have the courage to even be honest with hasn't been the nicest experience. It doesn't help that I also tried to tell her about how much I love something called video games. Apparently video games don't exist and my memories of playing Pokemon have been a lie I conjured up.

I work myself out of my cardboard box home I recently inhabited. It's 3 a.m. and Fluttershy kicked me out. She told me something about how despicable I am to be around and that I have trust issues with everyone including myself.

"Whatever, I didn't need anyone anyways..." I'm glad that's not the truth.

The streets of Ponyville are dimly lit from the few torch lamps that line the roads. It's a surreal experience to see the town in this gloom, the place is generally so full of life. I feel for Princess Luna in fact, this place is depressing, even for me.

I noticed a strange pony on the other side of a window to a closed down shop. I had no idea who would be walking around at a time like this. We looked at each other and gave a small wave. One thing I noticed about that pony, he could really use a shave.

"What brings you out at a time like this?" Despite not knowing if he could even hear me, I begged the question.

"Oh not much, just pondering what it would be like if I went insane." I responded to myself. I always felt comfortable talking with myself, I know I understand me.

"Good luck with that, personally I wonder if I already am insane or not." We both nodded our heads in agreement. The pony across from me was a complete mess though. I could tell he carried a lot of unwavering doubt with him. Could read those things like a book right off of ponies faces.

I grab a nearby crate and sit on top of it, staring into the strange pony on the other side of the window. We sat together quietly and periodically breathed deep sighs simultaneously. Behind him I noticed another pony however. She walked up close behind me and rested her soft hoof on my shoulder.

"Come home Boulder, you are going to catch a cold." Fluttershy spoke in a soft but worrisome manner. Who does she think she is anyways, telling me I'm the worst pony she has ever met, then coming back to beg for my forgiveness. Wait, that doesn't make any...

"You aren't mad at me are you, you were never mad at me." Damn it, I'm out here staring at my own reflection, hating a lie that I myself conjured up.

"You aren't a bad pony, I don't know why you keep telling yourself that and then running off. Is it something I'm doing, is my cottage not satisfactory? Is it Angel Bunny? I know he could be a little rough on other ponies but he'll come around."

"No it has nothing to do with you Fluttershy, you have been an amazing friend." I don't know why I hide behind all of this deceit anyways, so I'm definitely not going to blame it on the kindest pony I've ever laid eyes upon. By the way she is sounding, I probably told myself all of those horrible things and kicked myself out.

"I don't want to hurt you, but it's true, I am not someone to be trusted. I have lied more times to myself than a faulty lie detector." I never found myself great with words, I'm a scientist not a dictionary. I don't need her to empathize with me, that's my job, have to find a way to change the subject.

"So I have another trip scheduled, hopefully not as dangerous as the last one of course, but if you would like to join me again, we worked great as a team last time." When I said change the subject I didn't mean lie about another trip. Damn it! Ok Boulder, fix this.

"Well, you don't have to come if you don't want to, I mean it is in the Everfree Forest after all." What I just said made Fluttershy's pupils constrict. I knew she never liked even the thought of going back into that forest, despite how many times she proved to herself that it wasn't that bad, it's almost like she forgets every time she goes in there.

"Uh, um, the Everfree forest? Well, I , uh that place is full of, uh, strange and scarrrrrry monsters."

"So that's a no? Suit yourself." Phew. Well, actually it is about time that I hold another expedition anyways, so I should disappear for awhile for her sake. I still have no idea where though.

"Boulder?" she inquired. I hope she doesn't change her mind on me, I really want that trip to give me some alone time.

"What were you doing out here anyways, staring at your reflection again?" I gave a sigh, in preparation for a cheesy explanation.

"I've always wondered what it would be like to live in a box, you know?" There I go trying to work around the subject matter again.

"Well, I use my reflection as a guide. Despite how many times I deceive even myself with my constant doubt and worry, my reflection shows me who I really am. I know it sounds cheesy but it puts my mind at ease." Truth be told, I'm starting to think my reflection may be lying back to me some days, like I've gotten so caught up in my fantasy world that I don't know who I am really like anymore.

"That sound's really nice. But you know you don't have to retreat out here to figure out who you are. Your friends know who you are..." My mind trailed off when she started talking about how my friends are supposed to get me back on track. I never told her that she was the only pony I even considered a friend. It's kind of cute how she acts when discussing friendship anyways, sounds like she has really great friends, not really sure what she means by friendship is magic though, must be an inside reference.

"Well thank you Fluttershy, you can head on back without me. I just need another minute to myself."

"Oh of course, be safe out here, I'll leave the door unlocked and get a blanket for the sofa ready."

As she trotted away, I looked back into the distraught image of myself in the window. I looked miserable, like as if a drastic uncertainty loomed over my head in a pitch black storm cloud. With all of the lies I spread to other ponies, it's no wonder why I feel like my reflection is trying to tell me something important. I get off of my new crate chair and turn myself to view my entire body in the window now. Ever since the tremor events weeks ago at Ghastly Gorge, I stopped covering up my cutie mark. I was hoping that moving on from my parents death instead of dwelling on it constantly would let me just be myself. But all it has done was unmask the greatest doubt I have ever felt in my life. I'm not sure if my childhood is even what I say it is. It's hard for me to remember if my father truly braced my body from the rockslide, or if I just thought he did. The only truth I can be assure of is this geode inscribed on my flank.

When I looked at my reflection all I could see was a stranger. I started heading back to the cottage with the pieces of my cutie mark story beginning to fall apart. I needed to get away from the reflection in the window. I began a slow trot, then broke out into a sprint. Not sure if I was heading towards the cottage or not but I needed to run. I needed to run from my reflection, the one thing I used to hold dear to me is now trying to deceive me.

I found myself at the cottage with a very intimidating bunny there to greet me. With all the commotion I didn't even see the sun rising earlier. I want to sleep but I'm afraid of what my dreams would do to me. I'm not crazy yet.

A knock on the door startles me. Who could that be at a time like this? I turn to look out the window to see the sun shining through it. It burned my eyes a bit but it was nice to see some light shining into the room's darkness. I answer the door to a light grey mare holding a letter. She smiled, but gave me the strangest look, a look I remember from my first day in Ponyville in fact.

"Here's your mail!" The mail mare pegasus cheered. I take the letter, and wave off the strange visitor.

"Oh, it's a letter for me." I don't remember giving this address to anyone. But I wouldn't be surprised if someone figured it out though. Huh, its sealed with the University of Manehatten official seal. This can't be good.

Dear Dr. Boulder
You have been selected for an expedition of a geologic survey.
However, this is to be done with the utmost discrepancy. You will chose at most two others as your team and head out immediately.
We are sorry for the inconvenience of this short notice but you must understand that we cannot diverge the why details with you at this time.
The expedition is to be done within the old forgotten Gem Mines beneath Canterlot. Our funder is very interested in the mines and with his help we could really use the extra funding as you know. No one is to know that you are down there, especially not the citizens of Canterlot. I needed the best to make sure this goes off without a hitch so you are the team captain.
Be safe down there, strange things have happened to the ponies trapped down there.
Good luck, son
Dr. Mickey Rocks