Of Silver Scales

by Axelflames

To High Heights

“So, what do you want to do with your life?”

I looked up at the guy behind the bar. The old guy had scaly skin, and white hair that stood in spikes going down the front of his scalp. He had been serving me the same thing for the past 3 hours, my usual blend of root beer, cream soda, and sparkling apple cider. He wasn't the usual bartender, but he was better at conversation. I peered over my glasses, and my glass, at him.

“I'm not sure anymore. I once wanted to be an artist. Then I changed to trying to be a scientist. Ended up as being an actor, which has done me absolutely nothing. The only talent I've ever had, is not knowing what to do.” I responded to his question in my most even tones.

“That doesn't sound like a talent to me. Sounds more like you've been holding yourself back. Most humans tend to find a talent early on in their lives, and then go off of that. Seems to me like you've been forgetting that the first step is not deciding what to do with your talent, but instead finding your talent.” His words had a slight, hiss of sorts. I wasn't gonna judge, but it sounded oddly comforting.

“Then how do you suggest I go about finding this talent? It's not like I'm a colorful pony whose behind has a tattoo of whatever they're good at.” Oh yeah, forgot to mention that part. Yeah I watched My Little Pony. Used to watch it with my sister, when she was babysitting me and my brother. Then she left, and trying to watch it with my brother in the house was a nightmare. Lucky for me, sis got married and had a daughter. Now I spent most of my time outside of work, accounting for those of you who care, with my niece. She loves the show, and whereas I liked the older generations, I truly enjoy Friendship is Magic.

“True, you are not an Equestrian. Although, I'm fairly certain that you remember that it takes a long time for most of the younger characters to get their cutie marks. Also, who says that all Equestrians have them? Spike certainly doesn't, but he's a dragon. Neither did Gilda the Gryphon. I certainly didn't see any on the changelings, and I'm pretty sure Discord didn't have one either. However, they all had talents, and each one knew that.” His response stunned me. Not only had he understood my mutterings, but he had responded to them as well. He showed an actual understanding of the show. However, I pushed those thoughts aside to continue the discussion. I didn't even register the rest of the bar. Not exactly a good idea.

“How can you compare those characters to the normal citizens? I mean, Discord was the Spirit of Disharmony, the changelings fed off love, and Spike isn't even close to the norm for a dragon...” My talking stopped as the fist hit me on the side of the head. I fell to the floor my signature drink falling with me and breaking as it hit the ground. The glass stung my face, but the liquid stung my eyes worse. I felt myself being lifted off of the floor and being shouted at by a very familiar breath odor.

“I can't believe I just heard you talk about a stupid girl's show in front of all my friends!” my brother yelled at me. “I feel kind enough to bring you here, seeing as how you're too stupid to get a license, and you try and humiliate me? That is the last straw! You and me are going outside right now, and I'm gonna beat some sense into you!” I choked out a breath.

“First of all, you don't have to shout. I can hear, and smell you just fine from less than 4 inches away. Second, I need to pay off my tab before you take me out, otherwise I've committed a crime, and you would be seen as my accomplice. Third, and most important, how can you beat any sense into to me, when you don't have any yourself?” Crap, I've had too much of my drink, and it did what that amount of carbonation usually did to me. Sugar-high School of Stupidity, student body myself. With what I just said, he might even kill me this time.

“What did you just say? Did you just insult me?”

C'mon, brain, don't do something stupid. “Actually yes. However, obviously since you were unable to interpret my condescending vocal patterns at the first attempt, it would be within the best interests of both parties to attempt to reach a verbal compromise as to the nature of the following discussions. At this juncture I am delighted to announce that I am equipped to speak within the following languages: Idiotic, Moronic, Stupid, Asinine, and Dumb. If these are not your language of choice, then we are at an impasse of the highest degree.”

He blinked, then smiled. Crap. “You are dead.” Double Crap. “Also, no. You aren't paying your tab.” Triple Crap. He lifted me up even higher and cocked back his fist. “You won't be paying any more tabs, except for the ones you start in the afterlife.”

Well, this is it. How I died. Hopefully there were ponies in heaven. Wow it sure took a long time for his fist to get to me. I opened my eyes, to see him let go of my neck. I hit the floor, second time today, and looked up. The old bartender had circled his right hand along my brother's cocked wrist, and was pulling back on it as he simultaneously pushed forward with his left hand in an open palm jab on my brother's appendix. He seemed to be exerting no effort, but my brother was sweating bullets.

“You sir, have had too much to drink. Your conduct against one of the paying customers as well as your disturbance of the piece gives me legal obligation to perform a citizen’s arrest upon you. However, for the sake of not bothering the police with you, I am merely going to ask you to leave.” The old man had a fire in his eyes, and I must have still not recovered from being out of breath, because I could have sworn that the fire was purple.

“What are you gonna do if I say 'No' you old...” The door slammed shut as the old man threw him out, literally. He came and walked over to me, and reached out his hand.

“You want some help?”

I looked up at him, and then grabbed his hand saying, “Sure”

His grip was strange. Firm, yet relaxed. He looked me in the eye, and then asked me a question that I will never forget.

“How would you like to never have to be the victim of that kind of thing anymore? To be able to protect yourself better, and to be able to find your purpose?” His eyes seemed to once again sparkle with that strange purple glow. Then I said the words that changed my life.

“I would like that very much.”

Next second I was falling, screaming, and also still Sugar-high. That last bit continued right up until I went unconscious. I hate trees.