Welcome to Babylon Five
Season 1: A City of Light, Alone in the Dark
Episode 1: Welcome to Babylon 5
“Sooner or later everyone comes to Babylon 5.” Jeffery Sinclair
Guest Staring:
Robert Rusler as Lieutenant Warren Keffer
Russ Tamblyn as Captain Jack Maynard
“Captain Sheridan.” The brown haired man looked at the comlink on his wrist. He tapped it once.
“Yes Commander?”
“We just go a weird message for you from the captain of the explorer class vessel The Cortez. It begins ‘Hello Swamp Rat’, and then continued on about how he was coming here for a resupply of his ship, as well as bringing a diplomat from a newly discovered world, and her entourage. A list of requirements for one ‘Ambassador Twilight Sparkle’ was attached to the message. It’s nothing we can’t handle, I’ve already started the preparations for her quarters and informed the other ambassadors.”
A flash of white teeth appeared on Sheridan’s face as his mouth curled upwards. “Swamp Rat. Now that is name I haven’t heard in over a decade. The message was from Captain Jack Maynard right?”
“That is correct. He will be here in one hour.”
“This ambassador wouldn’t happen to be from that Dyson Sphere the Cortez found a few years back?”
“It would appear that the Ambassador and her assistant are from that…place, for lack of a better word.
“Forward the information to my office. I’ll look it over, then meet you at the docking bay.”
“Understood. Ivanova out.”
Sheridan smiled as the information began to materialize on his screen. There was always something new on Babylon 5.
“You see that blue spinning object over by that planet? That’s your new home. That is Babylon 5. Eight kilometers long, two-point-five billion tons of spinning metal, and a quarter million aliens all living together.”
“It’s amazing…” Her voice was soft, a whisper in awe of the metal behemoth before her. The spinning cylindrical shape defied her understanding of the universe. This was something that was happening with an alarming frequency.
“Ouch! Spike, what was that for?” Her hoof fell on her foreleg where she had been poked. The small dragon twisted his head around and grinned back at her.
“I heard that sound in your voice. The ‘I am in awe and want to tear everything apart and experiment and cause a big boom’ sound. I was merely preempting the disaster.”
“Spike!” He merely chuckled at the offended alicorn. A grin slowly came to her face, and then chuckles came out. “I did have that sound in my voice, didn’t I? Where would I be without my Number One Assistant?”
“Blowing things up accidentally?” Despite the teasing in his voice, Spike’s cheeks still turned a lovely red under the simple yet sincere praise of his mentor/sister.
“Shuttle One, this is Babylon Control. You are cleared to board, proceed to the docking bay.”
“Acknowledged Babylon Control.”
If it weren’t for the steady hum in the background, and the swiftly approaching station in the windows, Twilight wouldn’t have even noticed that they were approaching. Even after a week in space, she still wasn’t used to the idea of traveling through it. Hay, she wasn’t even used to the idea there could be anything in space.
“Twilight, your grip is slipping!” Twilight quickly tightened her hooves around Spike, ensuring that he didn’t float off. Artificial gravity and no gravity, two more new things on her seemingly endless list of new ideas to consider.
“Sorry Spike, I was-“
“Lost in thought, yah I know. It’s been happening to me a lot as well.” He shifted, and then blinked. “Hold on, I am being dragged back downwards.”
“Don’t you worry the scales off your hide, we have just entered the gravitational field of B5. Though, you should still hold onto the little guy ‘till we touch down.”
Twilight nodded, accidently banging her chin on Spike’s head. “Ouch!”
“Sorry we didn’t have a seat that could hold you, but our shuttles were designed for bigger people.”
“It’s fine.” Spike managed to grumble out; being squeezed tightly make it harder to speak.
“What Spike means to say is ‘thank you Captain Maynard for showing our world the truth, and for taking the time to educate our world and transport us to this amazing place.’ Right Spike?”
In response a tongue was stuck out and wiggled with great enthusiasm. Amidst a cry of “Spike!” Maynard let loose a deep-belly laugh.
A sudden clank elicited a squeak from Twilight. “Relax, we just docked with B5. You can let go of Spike now.” Another clunk sounded as Spike the dragon was unceremoniously dropped on the deck of the shuttle.
It took a few minutes of awkward stumbling, but eventually the group of three managed to make it outside to the docking bay entrance.
Awaiting the group were two humans clad in blue military uniforms. Twilight was able to tell that one was female, with stern eyes that reminded her of Luna. The other was male, and had a small smile on his face.
“Swamp Rat!”
“Stinky!”
The two men strode forward and embraced in a (manly) hug. Twilight used the time to stare and gape at the surrounding area.
It was a reception area, full of creatures of all sizes and shapes coming and going. In this very room alone, with only a few dozen entities, there were more species than there were on her home world, and only in the rarest of occasions would they come together.
The weight of her position suddenly truly dawned on her. She was to represent her world to all these different races, all who would be judging her…testing her…
Her breath became labored, her eyes crossed, her-
A clawed hand took hold of her shoulder. “Breathe Twilight. Like Cadance taught you. Yes, just like that. We will be fine. They trust in you. Trust in yourself.” Slowly, she regained control.
“Are you alright?” Twilight turned to face Swamp Rat, an expression of concern (or at least she thought it was concern) clouding his face. She nodded slowly.
“I’m fine. This place, my position, it’s just all so much, so fast. I must admit, I am a little overwhelmed.”
The expression cleared. “It’s fine. You aren’t the only one here to be overwhelmed when you first arrived. Don’t worry, it will pass, and you will adjust. Ambassador, wait, do you prefer Ambassador or Princess Twilight Sparkle?”
“I actually just prefer Twilight. Both my titles are more formalities. I haven’t done anything really Princesscy since ascending, and I’m not really expected to do anything save gather information as ambassador. Besides, Twilight is less formal and friendlier.”
A smile that showed a few teeth. “Twilight it is. I am Captain John Sheridan, military governor of Babylon 5.” An image of another captain, one very dear to her for as long as she could remember, filled her mind for a moment, and overlapped with the human. Said human gestured with his claws-hands, they are called hands-at the female. “This is my second in command, Commander Susan Ivanova.”
The female opened her mouth-“Wait, your name isn’t Swamp Rat?” Four heads swiveled towards Spike as Jack “Stinky” Maynard let loose another deep-bellied laugh. “What? It’s a perfectly reasonable name.”
“See, the little guy sees that it fits you!”
“Like Stinky fits you?”
“Not at all. If anything, you should be Stinky. Stinky Swamp Rat. Yes, I like the sound of that.”
“Ahem.” A clearing of the throat ceased the talking. “Captain, since you clearly have a friend here, I can take care of the tour.”
“What, you don’t have to do that.”
“Yes, I do. Otherwise I will be subject to this little rivalry that you have. And besides, it’s another chance to practice the fine art of diplomacy.”
Sheridan smiled again. “Thank you Commander. Come along Stinky, and let me show you the good food.”
“Sure thing Swamp Rat.” With that, the two old friends left the room.
“If you will follow me, we can begin a tour of station.”
“What about our luggage?”
“It will be delivered to your quarters during the tour.”
“Babylon 5 is separated into six sections, and each section has separate levels. Right now we are in Blue section, the docking bay, Command and Control, and Medlab. Since you are not a member of Station Personal, most of this section is off limits. The exceptions are Medlab and the docking bays.
The three were walking, or trotting in Twilight’s case, down a large corridor. Aliens were flowing around them. Business owners had small stands set up along the edges, and were calling out their wares to pass-buyers. The hustle and bustle was reminiscent of Canterlot’s marketplace, only much louder and more crowded.
“You won’t spend much time here. Your living quarters are in Green Sector, the diplomatic sector. As per your request, your assistant Spike will have residence in the same quarters.”
“Thank you.”
“Green Sector also has the Diplomatic Chamber, where the ambassadors meet to discuss treaties and other diplomatic measures. There will be a ceremony in two days were you will be introduced formally to the other ambassadors. Another site of interest are the gardens.
“Gardens? I wasn’t expecting there to be any gardens. What do you have there?”
“A small hedge maze, some small trees, flowers, a Zen garden. Not much really, space is something we can’t waste here.” Both Twilight and Spike nodded in understanding. B5 did not have the seemingly infinite horizon of Equis.
“Red Sector is next to Green, and is considered the civilian sector. There you will find the majority of restaurants, stores, and other places of entertainment. When you are not in diplomatic meetings or in Medlab, you’ll probably be in Red Sector.”
“So Jack, what has you playing courier to a diplomat? Normally that would be something handled the diplomatic corps.”
The bearded man accepted the glass of alcohol that John offered him. Jack took a deep drink. “Sure, I’ll tell you, provided you tell me why you are here, and not still in control of the Agamemnon, patrolling deep space.” John nodded, accepting the deal.
“It was about three years ago. We were out exploring the Rim when we came across an unknown object. It was huge, the size of Jupiter, with a single moon, and was orbiting a sun in a position that was close enough to sustain life. It was clearly artificial, having a metallic outer shell. We decided to investigate.
Our sensors, they must have activated something. The structure rippled, and opened up. The shell collapsed inward, exposing a world full of life. There are over a dozen sapient species on the planet, and that’s just the ones we know about. I’m sure you heard about it on IGN.”
“A dozen? I thought that number had been exaggerated by the media.” Sheridan’s voice was incredulous. He sat down on the couch, his brown eyes wide with amazement. “A dozen. That’s nearly half the number of species that have diplomatic offices here on B5.”
“I didn’t realize so few species had offices here. Anyways, we sent out probes to investigate, only to discover a world gripped by fear. Apparently they had a false sky that had literally been ripped apart in front of their very eyes. Naturally they were afraid, and we decided that we had to make first contact.
As you know from experience, it generally takes at most a day for languages to be translated. They, the…well I’m not sure exactly what to call them, as the species haven’t decided on a name for their world, they don’t have computers. It took us six months to translate. Twilight Sparkle, the ambassador, was a key part in this process. She’s smart John, very smart.
The next two and a half years were spent explaining what little we knew about their planet, and about the galaxy. They decided they needed to learn more, and elected Twilight to be ambassador and gather information on the galaxy.”
“Hence her coming here to Babylon 5. She’s on a fact finding mission, and that is easier done as an ambassador. Is that what you are telling me?” John asked.
“Indeed. Well, I told my story. Now what exactly did you do to end up in a dead-end place like this John?”
A pair of clear doors opened wide, admitting one human, one alicorn, and one dragon. Inside was a group of humans in sterile grey clothes and surgical masks, each moving with purpose. Devices and test tubes lined the wall, many filled with liquids of various colors. All were labeled. Other parts of the walls were taken up with screens showing…Twilight was sure what they showed, but they looked scientific, and important.
“Welcome to Medlab 1.” Twilight and Spike turned to the male human who created them. He had a darker skin tone that most of the other humans had, with a short black mane (hair Twilight, hair). “I’m Doctor Steven Franklin, head of the Medical Staff. You must be Ambassador Twilight, and Attaché Spike.”
Spike puffed up his chest in pride at the official title, while Twilight simply blushed and lowered her head. “Just Twilight please.”
“Alright, Twilight. Now, if I could borrow a moment of your time, I have a request to make.”
A request already? What could it be? Could she do it? Should she do it? She wasn’t-
“In and out Twilight. Just breathe in and out.” Inhale, exhale. Thank Faust for Spike. She went through the motions.
The doctor had some sort of device in his hand, and was moving up and down close to her. “Is she alright? Does she have some sort of illness?”
“It’s just a panic attack. Thank you for your concern, but it is nothing really. I have just been having a lot of them recently.” She smiled. “It’s just another thing I have to thank my Number One Assistant for dealing with. I don’t know what I would do without you Spike.”
Spike had a comical look on his face, being torn with puffing out his chest in even more pride, and his steadily reddening face. His cheeks were also puffed up.
“How long with this request take Franklin? I have a tour to complete, and duties to get back to.”
“Hold your horses Ivanova. I also have something for you, so come back after the tour.” The male turned to face Twilight again. “Now my request is rather simple. You see, we don’t have much medical information about your species. With your permission, I would like to conduct a series of test on you and your assistant so I will be better able to treat you should something happen.”
That was it?
“Yes, that was it.”
“I said that out loud?”
“Blurted loudly more like.”
“Spike!” Her face retreated behind her mane in shame. “I would be happy to do those tests. Does later today work?”
“That’s just fine. Make sure to eat before coming, as these tests will likely take several hours.”
“I did not piss off anyone, and this is not a dead-end job.”
“Really? Because it looks that way to me. Less than two months ago you were in control of your own ship patrolling the edge of Earth Alliance space. You’re a soldier, not a politician. And yet here you are, playing politics. Why?”
“The President asked me to.”
“President Clark asked you to be the representative of the Earth Alliance? Was he trying to start a war with the Mimbari?”
“I don’t know why President Clark chose me. All I know is that ever since the death of President Santiago in the explosion of Earthforce One things have been changing. Sinclair was reassigned from here as ambassador to Mimbar, and I was selected to fill the hole.” Sheridan stood up and began pacing around.
“I’m actually not that upset with it. I get to meet new races every month, and there is always something interesting going on around here. This place is amazing.”
“You may not be upset with it, but I am sure the Mimbari still are. I hear they still call you ‘Starkiller’.”
“They do, on both accounts. Within my first day here we almost had another war because of the actions of a rouge Mimbari war-cruiser. The war may have ended eleven years ago, and people on both sides want to start it right back up again.”
Sheridan paused in his pacing. He turned to Jack, one hand holding the now lukewarm glass of water, the other in a half-fist. “Here, I can make a difference. A real difference Jack. It may not have been exactly what I wanted, but I can’t change it. So let’s talk of other things.”
Jack sighed, understanding the situation. “Alright. So how have you been Swamp Rat?”
“This is Red Sector. As you can see, it is full of stores and other places to spend money.”
Full was an understatement. It was packed, with vendors hawking their wares, to large restaurants, to even a casino. Yet at the same time, it was oddly…well it wasn’t quiet, but the noise level was lower than it should be.
“This part of the station was designed to deal with high influxes of people at all times. The way the pillars are arranged, and the materials used in construction cause sound to be localized and dissipate, keeping the noise level down. You do have to be careful of the occasional crook or scam, but for the most part this area is pretty crime free.”
“Does that mean that there are areas with crime?” Ivanova nodded grimly.
“Grey Sector, or as it is more commonly known, Down-below. Down-below is where the poor and homeless go. Many come to Babylon 5 seeking a new and better life. Most of those don’t have more than the clothes on their back and a few precious items. Those who can’t get work can’t afford to get off, and end up in Downbelow. Ninety percent of all crimes are committed there. For your own safety, stay out of Grey Sector.”
“There is nothing you can do to help them?”
Ivanova sighed. “No. We don’t have the financials to really help them. Doctor Franklin runs a free Medlab down there is his spare time, and that’s all out of pocket from his money. We try to help in small ways, but there isn’t much we can do.”
“It isn’t right.”
“No, it is not right, or fair. But life is rarely right or fair.” Her tone seemed rather bitter. Twilight and Spike wisely did not follow the possible line of inquiry.
“The other two sectors, Yellow and Brown, are off limits. They supply the power and water for this place, and only Maintenance can access them.”
The group came across a tube like room. “These are the tube lifts, and are used to get between levels in each sector.” They entered, the doors sliding shut behind them. “Green 6.”
Both Twilight and Spike stumbled as the elevator moved upwards. “Wow, that is so…freaky.”
Twilight had half extended her wings to try to maintain her balance, but her closeness to the walls prevented her from full extension. She quickly brought them back to her sides.
“What an unsettling feeling…”
The tube lift came to a smooth stop, though both Twilight and Spike stumbled, unused to the movement.
“This is the level where your quarters are. You are in room 626.” It was a short walk to the quarters. The commander pulled two clear rectangular objects out of a pocket. She held them in front of the pony and dragon. “These are your temporary identy-cards, only lasting two days. They will allow you into your quarters. Just slide them in these slots,” she gestured at the device inlaid on the wall, “and the door will unlock and open. In order to access your funds you will need to get permanent identy-cards from the registration office. It is located in Blue sector.”
The cards floated out of the commander’s hands, one into Twilight’s hoof, and the other into Spike’s claws. To her credit, Ivanova only raised an eyebrow at the display of magic. “This concludes the tour of B5.” She then turned, and started to walk down the corridor.
“Wait, Commander Ivanova, perhaps you would like to join us for tea, as a thank you for the tour?” She paused, but didn’t turn around.
“I’m sorry, I would like to, but I have duties I must attend to.” Two steps, and then another pause. “If you are looking for a friend, or just someone to talk to, I would recommend Ambassador Delenn of the Mimbari.” She then turned the corner.
Twilights face was slightly fallen. She levitated the identy-card into the scanner, and entered her room.
It was…small. It was also amazing how much had been set up in the short time the staff had. There was a bathroom, complete with a bathtub, on the far left wall, but it was all tiny. A nice looking, but also small bed was right corner, with Spike’s basket right next to the bed. Along the back wall next to her bed was a single bookshelf, brimming with the history and customs of the known species on Equis (she didn’t care that the name wasn’t decided, that was what she would call it.) Near the bathroom was a small gas fireplace.
The wall which shared the door had a mini-kitchen. There was a tiny fridge and freezer, next to a small sink. There was a one burner stove, with an oven underneath. Tucked in the corner was a small cabinet. To the left of cabinet, there was a sofa that took up the remaining wall.
The floor was covered in a thick, purple rug. It felt heavenly on her feet, which had started to ache despite being covered in fine horseshoes. In the center of the room was a small table, with two chairs and two pillows.
The wall above her bed was covered in pictures. Pictures of her friends, her family, her pets, and even a picture of an infant Spike swaddled in blankets. Among the pictures was a screen in the wall. Two trunks full of miscellaneous supplies were next to the bed.
“I miss Peewee and Owlowiscious.” Twilight blinked, then looked at Spike.
“I will too. But I am sure Fluttershy will take good care of them.” Twilight nodded in agreement.
“Come on Spike, let’s go do those medical tests and get our identy-cards.”
Captain Jack Maynard was sad to leave B5 so soon. He had been looking forward to real food; not that processed stuff they fed him and his men. His time on…whatever they ended up calling that planet had put him behind schedule though, so he had no time to chat. “Initiate jump sequence.”
“Aye sir, jump sequence activated.” The four prongs floating out in space flashed several times in sequence, before the orange cone appeared in the center. The Cortez swiftly entered the jumpgate, and began the journey into hyperspace.
“How long until we reach our next destination?”
“ETA is twenty hours in hyperspace sir, and another five in nor-WAH!”
The man was thrown backwards; an explosion rocking the Cortez C&C. Several other personal were thrown to the deck. “REPORT!”
“Sir, critical failure on engine three! Engines not responding, and we have a fire on deck 29!”
“We are drifting off the beacons. I have lost track of them! We’re going to be lost in hyperspace!”
“Send a distress call to Babylon 5! HURRY!”
Twilight was pleasantly surprised. The process for obtaining their identy-cards had been a short and simple affair, and now the tests in Medlab were over. “It will take some time for the results to come in. I’ll let you know when I have them.”
“Thank you Doctor Franklin. Spike, are you alright?”
The dragon was wincing and rubbing the bandage around his arm. “Yah, I just don’t like needles.”
“I have to say, your magic is amazing. I ran what tests I could on it, and even with the preliminary results I am astounded. Did you know
that you have a whole circulation system for the energy for your magic that runs parallel to you arteries and veins?”
“Yes, yes I did know that.”
A screen flashed to life, showing Ivanova. “Doctor, we have problem. The Cortez suffered some sort of accident, and is drifting in hyperspace. The captain is organizing a team to try find and rescue them, and we need Medlab on standby for any survivors that need treating.”
“Understood, we’ll be ready.”
Twilight’s face had turned ashen at the news; Spike was no longer fiddling with his arm. The screen went blank.
“The Cortez…what happened…how can I-“
“Twilight, I need to leave. Right now you will only get in the way. I promise, once I hear what happened I will let you know but right now I need to get Medlab ready. If you want to help, pray for them.”
Twilight nodded, still pale, and back out of the Medlab. She fled the room, and ran towards her quarters, Spike on her heels. Soon she arrived. Without preamble she flung herself on a pillow, and began to pray.
“Faust Almighty, creator of life, I beseech you to guide some lost souls home, and to keep them safe on their journey…” Spike sat down beside her, and joined in.
Warren Keffer, or Zeta Two, followed his commander further into hyperspace. The line of Starfuries extended from the beacon towards the last known location of the Cortez. It was a long shot, but their only chance of finding the lost ship. If they succeeded, they would be the first to find a ship lost in hyperspace.
“I got it! I found the Cortez. Zeta Two, go further and make contact. I will stay here and hold the line in the chain.”
“Understood Zeta One. Moving out.” The one-man fighter shaped like an x raced across the eerie hyperspace. There!
The Cortez floated like a recent wreck, dead in the water. “Cortez, this is Zeta Two, please-“
A scream, a cry of pain and suffering ripped through his head. His hands sprung to his ears in an attempt to cut off this tortured cry. It didn’t help.
His Starfury started spinning, warning signs going off. “Warning, collision with unknown object. Engines and communications are down.” His computer droned at him.
“Do we still have the direction of the other Starfuries?”
“Zeta one has been destroyed, but return course remains plotted.”
The fighter continued to spin. “Computer, fire plasma whenever we are pointed towards the return course.”
“Acknowledged.” The Starfury pulsed as blue plasma was discharged from the fighter.
Jack stared at the monitor in awe and fear. For just a moment he had seen it…he had seen that…that thing. It had been black as a starless night, yet somehow shiny. It had been huge. It was ugly, with black spines jutting out in symmetry, a cruel parody of a spider. And that scream…And he could swear he had seen something like it before, just before the Sphere opened.
He focused on the fighter that was spinning, and always firing in that one direction. “Can we raise him?”
“We’ve been trying to sir, but his communications array appears to be damaged. We can’t raise him.”
“Why is firing in one direction? There’s nothing there…wait! He’s firing in the direction of beacons. He’s showing us the way home…we can’t pick him up. If we do, we will lose the direction to travel.
"May God have mercy on his soul.”
There was a moment of silence on the bridge. “Do we have engines?”
“Engine three is still down, but all other engines are operable.”
“Set course for Babylon 5.”
There as a beeping noise issuing from the screen on the wall. “Receiving call from Medlab, Doctor Steven Franklin.”
“Show me please.”
The kind face of the doctor appeared on the screen. “Doctor Franklin! Do you have news on the Cortez? Is everypony alright?”
“Calm down Twilight-everypony? That’s a new one. Yes, we heard back from the squadron. They found the Cortez and are bringing them to B5 for repairs. Everyone onboard will survive, but…”
“But?” It was a squeak. A voice afraid to ask.
“
Two members of Zeta Squadron gave their lives to bring her home. Some other ship happened to jump in onto of the fighters, destroying them. I am sorry.”
She blinked, moisture accumulating in her eyes. “I am too.”
“End transmission.” The screen went blank.
The tears fell freely. Bawling, she pressed her head into Spike. It was all so scary and sad. This place, the tragedy, her responsibilities. She didn’t feel ready.
“Let it out Twilight, let it all out. I am here for you.”
John Sheridan stared out into space. In front of him, a timer ended its countdown. “I guess he isn’t going to make it back.”
“It was never likely he would. Zeta Two died a hero bringing my people back.” Jack placed a hand on John’s shoulder.
“Somehow, being a dead hero is never enough.” Jack nodded in agreement.
“I’m going to find it. I am going to find that ship that ended those two pilots’ lives. I am going to find their government, and hold them accountable.”
“To that, all I can offer is ‘good luck, and may God stand between you and harm, in all the empty places you must walk’.”
Jack smiled softly, and the two walked out of the near empty C&C.
Dear Celestia,
Well, we arrived on Babylon Five today. The station is amazing. It is huge, a floating city in space. In the first five minutes, I saw as many species on Babylon Five as I have in my lifetime on Equis.
I finally met Swamp Rat, only to find out that it was a nickname. The captain’s real name is John Sheridan. He seems nice, he kind of reminds me of my B.B.B.F.F. I also met his second in command, Commander Ivanova. She is stern, and I think she is completely dedicated to her duties. I have to wonder, was I like her before I came to Ponyville? (She wasn’t as bad as this Ivanova.)
I was taken on a tour of the station by Ivanova. During that time I met Doctor Steven Franklin. He is a very kind human, and we got along well. I count him as my first true friend here. It is true, you can make friends anywhere.
The room I am living in is nice, if small. I miss Owlowiscious, and I know Spike misses Peewee. (I do.) We also miss our friends.
For all the good this place has, it also has some bad. They have an area they call Down-below. It is where the poor go, and the station doesn’t have enough money to properly take care of the ponies there. It is a sad thing; apparently the place has a very high crime rate.
A disaster also occurred today. The Cortez suffered some kind of malfunction, and got lost in hyperspace. Although they were found and rescued, two of the pilots involved were killed from some sort of accident. My prayers go to them.
It is scary, knowing that an accident like what happened to the Cortez could happen here on Babylon Five. I feel like a young filly again, and it is rather unpleasant. I have no idea what I would do without Spike. He has become a rock to anchor myself to, and I could ask for a better companion.
Still, I will marshal my fear, and move on. All of Equis is depending on me, and I will protect her. I will not let you down.
Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle.
P.S. Princess, Twilight isn’t doing so well. Please encourage her in your letter, she badly needs it.
Spike
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Okay. This is a crossover I have been waiting for. Jumping in.
Well, first off, it's a start, so here's hoping to see where you take this. I would say it's a good building block to work on. You can definitely make this into a much better first chapter too with some slower pacing.
You do need to keep an eye on punctuation though, and most scenes (more obviously between Ivanova and Twilight) are just dialogue and no action or description or even insight into the characters. Try to get us a bit more into their minds a bit, and also give us an idea of what they're doing while talking. All of that helps with pacing. A good example of when it would have been ideal to have some body-language, would be the moment when Ivanova suggests Twilight visit Delenn.
Really not digging Twilight suddenly being religious though. It really just jumps out as incongruent and jarring. The "Faust" expression is a cute fandom thing, but extending it to her and Spike dropping to their knees and praying? Eeeeh. No. That's taking it a bit too far. Additionally, why would Twilight get a temporary ID card if they've known she's going to be there for a while?
Anyway, again, I hope to see more, and I definitely hope to see the story improve.
A crossover with my favorite series of all time? Hell yes!
And i have to say, your first chapter is actually quiet good and an enjoyable read.
You know, just the other day I was thinking about odd crossovers from MLP, and the thought of a Babylon 5 crossover passed through my mind. And now, a few days later... this!
Maybe I'm developing psychic powers?
Hmmmm.. Now I'm thinking of finding millions in gold in my basement....
In any case, keep up the good work! This certainly seems interesting!
6651403
First, thanks for the constructive criticism.
On the subject of voice, I admit that is by far what I am least good at. I'll try getting into their thoughts, might help.
I started off with some action, cause Babylon Five started similarly. The second chapter will be very low key, with Twilight meeting the ambassadors.
As for Twilight being religious, that has to do with the AU. A very key moment in her life happened differently in this world, giving her a profound religious experience. That started her down the path to faith. It was cemented when the sky opened to reveal the true extent of the universe. So basically, she's religious cause spoilers. Its actually quite the major plot point.
I love Babylon 5.
This is looking good so far.
I agree with Wanderer D. He has some good advice for you.
Please do continue writing though. This story has potential and I'll definitely be watching.
6654222 Huh, if anything I'd figured that the total collapse of their beliefs would have probably had the opposite effect, but, it's your story. I guess if it's a major point of your story that's more than enough reason, just be aware that it really doesn't fit her character so your pacing and her dialogue will be very important to make sure we do see Twilight in her.
Anyway, good luck, I'll keep an eye out for the next chapter!
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The thing is in Babylon Five religion and spirituality have non-insignificant impacts on the story and characters. At first I just wanted to include it for that reason alone, and then I realized I could make it a plot point, and eventual character development.
Also, since this is unlikely to come up in the story proper, here is how the religion gained significance in Equis society. About two decades ago it was a small religion similar to Christianity with the basic love thy neighbor and having the Creator of all, Faust Almighty, though no Jesus figure. Then it was discovered that Cadence, the recently adopted niece of Princess Celestia and new Alicorn was a believer, and the Church of Faust gained some press and popularity. It helped that Cadence championed its principals, which fit nicely with the whole idea of harmony in Equestria. Sometime after becoming a Princess, Twilight also joined the church, though she was never vocal about it.
Then the Shattering happened. The sky was ripped open, the sun, moon, and stars were constructs, and everything was different. When Celestia and Luna proved unable to affect the real sun, moon, and stars the beings of Equis, in particular the ponies, lost faith in them. With the old "gods" who they had quietly worshipped no longer seeming that godly, the ponies turned to the new "gods". By this time Twilight and Cadence had public saved the world/country several times, and are seen as heralds of a new time, just like Celestia and Luna were a little over a thousand years ago. And since they both are part of the church, and one very publically at that, many began to convert to the Church of Faust.
6656934 Ah I see... although the significance for religion in B5 is much more closely tied with how the Vorlons and Shadows manipulated the early stages of civilization in several worlds to make sure they would worship them and subscribe to their respective philosophies. So much so, that the religious caste of the Mimbari always celebrated Vorlons as the messengers of Valen... who was a Vorlon-manipulated Sinclair sent to the past. Same with their interference on Earth millions of years before so that when Kosh emerged from his suit, humans immediately thought of him as an angel, and Narns as the second coming of G'Quan. In that sense, they are very influential because the younger races have to break away from that influence to truly be free. In fact, G'Kar (and his famous book) is a prime example of this. He's not inventing a religion, rather presenting his own philosophy based on the Teachings of G'Quan which he now knows were not truly from "beyond" but rather the education and influence of Vorlons.
Don't get me wrong, I respect that it's your story and all, and I'm not going to condemn you for writing it as you see fit, but B5 is my favorite series of all time so I find it a rare treat to be able to discuss writing stories about it with an MLP relation.
Anyway, back to story-craft... Twilight and Cadance being quasi-Christian though is just... weird. Harmony was already the philosophy of choice for centuries, without the need of a god figure of any sort. The existence of such a religion coming out of nowhere seems a bit forced, since it wouldn't offer anything that wasn't being done before. Christianity in any of its forms always offers something—same as just about any other religion—that is additional to philosophy. Most obviously some sort of punishment (required) for breaking its rules and then some sort of recompense for following them... usually it's either unity with a higher being, or paradise. But it's not something that makes sense in FIM's world, which you're presenting as basically the same thing in the show except for this religion and that they were unaware that they were living in a controlled environment.
Dropping off Celestia and Luna who have been alive for thousands of years immediately for this religion seems... too convenient. There's no sense of "Old Gods" from them, given that they've established themselves constantly as approachable... Especially for Twilight, who has a hero-worship of Celestia... and it really, honestly breaks her character. She's first and foremost a scientist and a scholar, if she turned to anything it would be magical science, not religion.
Again, sorry if I'm laying it thick, it's (again) just a crossover I very much want to see explored, so I'm probably paying more attention to it than I should.
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Looks left...looks right...grins. Plot Points!
Also I could use someone to bounce ideas and general grammar off of. Would you like to be an editor for this story?