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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Darnit - I need a way to look into the future so I can read the rest of this story
789927
then do just like the rest of us.....
wait....
791329
Or you could get me a Twilight Sparkle plushie and I could tell you the rest of the story.
791340
unfortunately I dont even have money to buy myself plushies and I wouldnt know where to ship it
I like the story and it's originality. Just two things
It feels like it's rushed a tad bit; there's not much between-the-action description and whatnot, it all goes fairly quickly without truly giving a good visual on the scenery and setting of each place that he ends up. Another thing: more vivid descriptions of emotions and physical feelings that the character goes through. This is all mostly from my experience of reading adventure stories that separates the ones I enjoy the most the ones that are okay. You probably would double the length of this fic (or more even) if you took the time with it.
794646
More description, got it.
812696
I adore the compliment, thank you, but scrav was speaking of the other details, like the places William and the Mane 6 go.
I'll be the first to admit the swamp and the warehouse could have used a bit more spotlight. Good to know you're enjoying the story and that I'm somehow managing to keep track of all the characters though.
Edit: and I haven't introduced Applejack or Rarity in our verse.
And RD's last name is Daniels.
812715
could to know that youre paying attention to the comments so avidly.
oh and. CLIFFHANGER.