Major Problems

by asmariamoon

Chapter 1: Of Returns and Randomness

Major Problems

By Asmaria Moon

Chapter 1

Of Returns and Randomness

The lone unicorn with the blue coat and long, silky silver mane slowly plodded onward through the woods towards the small village. Why she was doing this, she really couldn't figure out. At least not the specifics anyway. She needed to apologize for her boasting the last time she had visited the village, and the trouble that said boasting had indirectly caused when two of her adoring fans had decided to show the truth in her words to everypony, even if there was no truth to be found behind that particular story. The specifics of exactly why she needed to do this still escaped her though. Perhaps it was to clear her reputation, though she didn't think herself to be that selfish. True, she had boasted about single-hoofedly defeating a monster that was later proven to be absolutely unbeatable by any one pony, but that had been part of the act. It was her job as a stage magician to make herself out to be more impressive than she actually was. A job that was considerably harder after that Celestia-damned Ursa Minor had destroyed her stage, and presumably her cloak and hat as well.

"Trixie wonders, if that was just an Ursa Minor, then what in Equestria does an adult Ursa Major look like? That purple unicorn seemed to know." she said aloud to herself. Suddenly, her face contorted to take on a look of sadness. The aforementioned purple unicorn had proven herself to be so much more powerful than Trixie, for that was the blue unicorn's name, could ever hope to be. The thought had crossed her mind more than once, that perhaps she should surrender the part of her title that declared her as Powerful to that mare and just be satisfied with calling herself "The Great Trixie". As Trixie reached the outskirts of the small village, Celestia's sun was casting its last rays of light at the very edge of the horizon, and Luna's moon was beginning to rise behind her, the first stars shining as bright points of light in the darkening sky. The colors were, in actuality, very beautiful. The pinks and purples the sky was filled with made Trixie wonder why more ponies didn't admire the twilight.

"Twilight! That was that mare's name! Trixie remembers because that little dragon kept saying it as he was trying to coax her into competing against the Great and Powerful Trixie!" Trixie declared as the memory flooded back to her, rearing up on her hind legs out of habit as she announced her title and name, then blushing slightly as she realized that she was not in the middle of one of her shows, and lowering herself back to all four hooves, looking frantically about to make sure nopony had witnessed her dramatic-but-embarrassing display.

Unfortunately for Trixie, there had been somepony watching. A pink earth pony with a curly darker pink mane suddenly popped her head out of a large pile of leaves just off the road and loudly asked, "Hey! Who're you talking to?", causing Trixie to let out a cry of alarm and leap away from this new pony in surprise, tripping over her right back hoof with her right front hoof as she did this, so that she landed unceremoniously on her side. Trixie tried to scramble to her hooves again in an attempt to recover the dignity that had been stolen from her with such an act.

"T-Trixie was talking to nopony." Trixie attempted to explain, blushing as she ran a hoof through her mane to make sure that it was still straight and that no leaves or branches or anything more horrid had embedded themselves in it during the fall. "Not that Trixie normally talks to herself, of course." she added sheepishly, hoping that the pink pony believed her. Trixie ran her back left hoof through her tail, performing the same check on it as she had done on her mane. The truth was, she often did talk to herself, at least while traveling from town to town, because she had nopony else to talk to.

"Who's this Trixie you're talking about? Is she nice? Can I meet her? Please? I just love meeting people, because meeting new people means that they're not from around here, because I know everypony, and I mean everypony in Ponyville, and if they're not from around here, then they must not have any friends, and that makes me so super sad, but that also makes me so super happy, because if they don't have any friends, than that means that I can help them make some by throwing one of my super-duper awesome welcome parties for them, and I just love throwing parties!" the pink pony exclaimed hyper-actively and without stopping for breath as she hopped completely out of the pile of leaves, looking frantically about for any other ponies aside from the one in front of her. Now that she was out of the pile of leaves, Trixie could see that the mare’s cutie mark was three balloons, two of them were sky blue and one, which was positioned between the other two and a little higher, was bright yellow.

"Trixie was... ummm... referring to herself." Trixie said, backing slowly away from the overly-energetic pony, frightened that she might be some crazy pony that waited at the edge of town for victims to pass by so that she could pop out of random piles of leaves and attack.

"Ooooooooooh!" the pink pony exclaimed, her eyes growing wide with realization. "You use the third pony when you talk about yourself, don't you? Why do you do that? Is it a psychological disorder or what? Cause I've never met anypony else who did that, and I know a lot of ponies, like I said, I know everypony, and I mean everypony in Ponyville, even all the background ponies!" she said.

"Wha... huh? Background... ponies?" Trixie asked, thoroughly confused. Did that mean ponies that painted backdrops for plays or something? If so, why would this pink pony choose to mention that she even knew them? This newcomer was starting to give Trixie a headache. She really needed to find the inn of this village and lie down, quick.

"Ummm... never mind. Forget I mentioned them. Anyways, so your name is Trixie, huh? It's so super-awesome to meet you! I'm Pinkie Pie, by the way, party pony extraordinaire! Everypony in town knows that Pinkie throws the most super-awesomest parties ever, because it’s my super-special talent!” Pinkie said, beginning to bounce around Trixie.

"Yes... well... The Great and Powerful Trixie has found this meeting very... ummm... interesting, Miss Pinkie Pie, but she really must find the inn and prepare for tomorrow." Trixie said, backing further away from Pinkie. "Besides, Trixie's mother always told her to stay far away from crazy ponies." Trixie whispered under her breath.

"Oh, Trixie, you're such a silly filly! Firstly, you can just call me Pinkie, that's what all my friends call me, and I hope that we can be friends, too! And secondly, I'm not a crazy pony! I’m a chicken!" Pinkie said, letting out a loud squawk, then suddenly giggling. “No, wait! Sorry! Nightmare Night’s so totally over!”

Trixie’s headache grew as she tried desperately to keep pace with the hyperactive pink pony in the quite one-sided conversation and perhaps devise some reason why Pinkie would call herself a chicken, but still came up short. "Ugh... Trixie is getting a headache trying to keep up with you. Do you know where the inn is, Pinkie?" she asked, hoping that her direct question would get a direct answer from the hyperactive pony, though she highly doubted that her hopes would come true, given Pinkie's unique way of socializing.

"I'm so super-sorry, Trixie, but there's no inn in Ponyville! We're just a small little village, and almost nopony passes through here, because we're so close to the Everfree Forest. I’m also sorry if I’m making your head all hurty. But anyways, no inn here, Trixie, but I'll tell you what! You can stay at my place if you want! It'd be so super-duper fun spending the night with a new friend, and I'm pretty sure Mr. and Mrs. Cake wouldn't mind, unless they would mind...” Pinkie started.

“Pinkie, please! Trixie may be Great and Powerful, but she is not immune to headaches!” Trixie interrupted before Pinkie could continue her tirade. Trixie’s head was already throbbing in pain from trying to keep abreast of the conversation, and she could barely get out two sentences at a time before Pinkie was off and running her mouth again. Trixie frowned as she realized that Pinkie had just said that Ponyville didn’t have an inn, and her face fell further as she caught Pinkie’s solution to where Trixie was going to stay. Well, it wasn’t like she had another choice.

“Ummm... sorry, Trixie. I’ll try not to talk as much. But anyway, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't mind, and it can't hurt to ask, so let's go ask! Come on! Sugarcube Corner is this way! I should know, because it’s where I work, and also where I live!" Pinkie said, her hyper-activeness returning as she bounced toward Ponyville's central square.

Trixie found that she could only keep up with the bouncing pink pony by jogging alongside her, walking at a normal pace just wouldn't do, not with the speed Pinkie was bouncing at. She really didn't have any other option at this point, apparently this village was too small to afford to run an inn with how few visitors it received, and she didn't actually know anypony in this town aside from Pinkie, and the ponies she had sort of met during her previous visit, four of which she was certain would be horribly less than happy to see her, and two of which she had absolutely no interest in ever meeting again. She'd take Pinkie's headache-inducing hyperactivity and randomness over those idiotic foals any day. If they did run into her again, they'd probably go out looking for another beast for her to vanquish, knowing them, and who knew, maybe they'd actually succeed in bringing an Ursa Major back to town. Trixie was dragged from her thoughts by a loud gasp from Pinkie Pie. "What is it, Pinkie?" Trixie asked, wondering just what in Equestria could make this weird pony gasp. It had to be something that even rivaled Pinkie in weirdness.

"I just totally realized something! Remember when I told you that I'd never met somepony who talks like you before? Well, it turns out that I have met somepony who talks like you before! She had this big wooden stage that folded out from this cart thingie, and she was all, 'Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by ponykind!'" Pinkie exclaimed, standing up on her hind hooves and copying the dramatic pose Trixie had taken on the edge of town, small fireworks suddenly appearing next to Pinkie as she hummed a fanfare Trixie hadn't heard since the destruction of her caravan. “Wait... her name was Trixie, too?” Pinkie asked, her face contorted in confusion.

"Ummm... that was the same Great and Powerful Trixie that stands before you now.” Trixie quickly explained before Pinkie could start into her verbal onslaught again. “So you were at Trixie's show as well? The Great and Powerful Trixie admits that last show before her stage was destroyed was not one of her good days. Sadly, Trixie's boasting caused two foals to be inspired to bring an Ursa to town so she could vanquish it. Trixie guesses she was lucky they had only found an Ursa Minor, instead of an Ursa Major like Trixie had claimed she'd vanquished." Trixie said, a bit embarrassed.

"I was totally there, right up in the front row too, though I didn’t talk at all during it, which was like so super-hard to do, I mean, I’m having trouble just trying to tone it down so that you don’t get a headache! I bet it was easy for Fluttershy not to talk though, she doesn’t talk much around strangers anyway.” Pinkie said, and Trixie thanked the Princesses that Pinkie was actually listening to her and trying not to talk too much.

Trixie desperately tried not to think about why Pinkie and this Fluttershy, whoever she was, had not talked at her last show here, as all the previous times she had tried to make sense of the hyperactive mare's seemingly-random spurts like this, all she had got out of it was a worsening headache. "Where is this Sugarcube Corner you mentioned? Trixie desperately needs some sleep." Trixie said, yawning a bit as if to show how tired she was.

"It's right in front of you, silly filly!" Pinkie exclaimed, pointing to the building directly in front of them. "Like, duh, what other place would be shaped like a gigantic gingerbread house with an enormous cupcake on top? Come on, let's go ask Mr. and Mrs. Cake if you can stay the night!" she said excitedly, bouncing toward Sugarcube Corner. As she bounced through the door, it swung open and she somehow skidded to a stop mid-bounce before gravity suddenly took hold of the pink pony and her hooves hit the floor all at the same time. Trixie followed her inside, looking around at the interior of the place.

“Oh, good evening, Pinkie! Who’s your friend?” an older mare, whom Trixie presumed was Mrs. Cake, asked. Mrs Cake had a blue coat and a pink mane that almost rivaled Pinkie’s in curliness, which was a very hard task to complete, and surpassed Pinkie’s in pinkness, which, again, was saying something. Mrs. Cake’s mane and tail were twisty and pink with lighter pink stripes running through them like the stripes of a candy cane. She had three cupcakes for a cutie mark. Mrs. Cake was currently standing behind a small wooden counter, which had a glass display in the front of it, through which various desserts were visible. Trixie realized that, given how hyperactive Pinkie was, it was only common sense that she lived and worked in a shop that sold a large variety of sugary treats.

“Hey, Mrs. Cake! This is Trixie, my newest friend! She talks in the third pony, which is super-duper-awesome because I’ve never met anypony else who talked that way, have you?” Pinkie asked, bouncing over to land next to Mrs. Cake, who seemed to be relieved that this was one of Pinkie’s shorter outbursts. Trixie shared that particular sentiment, as her headache had finally started to calm down.

“No, I haven’t. Well, it’s nice to meet you, Trixie. My name is Mrs. Cake.” Mrs. Cake said, walking across the room and extending a hoof toward Trixie.

“Trixie is pleased to meet you as well, Mrs. Cake.” Trixie said, shaking the hoof offered to her politely.

“Oh! Mrs. Cake! Mrs. Cake! Can Trixie spend the night? Please? Because she just got into town and she doesn’t have anywhere else to stay, and it would make me so super-duper-sad if she had to sleep on one of the park benches, or even worse, on the ground!” Pinkie said, frowning as she imagined her new friend having to sleep outside somewhere.

“Of course she can, dear. I wouldn’t want anypony to be forced to sleep out in the cold, not if I can help it.” Mrs. Cake said as she walked over to the door and shut the bottom half, locking it in place with a latch, then shutting the two parts of the top half of the door and locking them in place with another latch. “Now, then, if you girls don’t mind, I’m going to go to bed. Good night, Pinkie, and good night to you, too, Trixie. It was a pleasure meeting you.” she said, walking over to the stairs that lead up to the second story.

“It was a pleasure meeting you as well, Mrs. Cake. Trixie hopes you sleep well.” Trixie said, smiling.

“You too, dear.” Mrs. Cake replied, disappearing up the stairs.

“Okay, so what do you want to do now, Trixie? I’m sure that our slumber party will be super-extra-special, so we can play a game or tell spooky stories or give each other makeovers or even do all three at the same time! Or we can...” Pinkie started, but was suddenly interrupted by a loud yawn from Trixie.

“Trixie is extremely sorry, Pinkie, but she is so tired, she doubts she could stay awake another minute. Perhaps getting some sleep is the best thing to do at the moment.” Trixie said, covering her mouth with her hoof as she yawned again. She sincerely hoped that, knowing that Trixie wished to go to bed, Pinkie would begin to wind down for the night. The pink mare seemed to have boundless amounts of energy, bouncing everywhere and talking at speeds of a mile a minute, sometimes not even stopping to catch her breath.

“Okay, come on, I’ll show you my room!” Pinkie said, bouncing up the stairs three at a time. Trixie followed slowly, not wanting to make Pinkie wait, but unable to ascend the stairs quickly due to how tired she was. “Come on, you silly filly! You can move faster than that!” Pinkie said from the top of the stairs.

Trixie glared up at Pinkie. “Sweet Celestia, this is going to be a long night.” she muttered under her breath as she continued up the stairs at the same pace, as if to say, “I’ll go as fast as I darn well please.”

Author’s Note: This is my first fanfic of FiM, and technically my first real fanfic of anything. This is kind of the result of breezing through Of Mares and Magic in a little more than a day, and getting really inspired to tell my own story. There’s no Twixie yet, sadly, but there will be, once the story gets rolling.

Sorry if my Pinkie gets a little out of hand sometimes, but I’ve toned her down as much as I could without changing the story completely, and made Trixie a little more forceful with her attempts to get Pinkie to calm down.

Comments

[CaveRave]

Tracked, 4 stars !

No other comments, tracked should tell enough, won't it ;) ?

[asmariamoon]

34683 Thanks so much! I'm working on Chapter 2 right now, it might be finished sometime tomorrow, but I'm not sure... it's been a while since I wrote anything.

[Rakoom]

I think you hit the nail on the head when talking about Pinkie Pie. She really IS that hyperactive when meeting someone new, and I think that sleepy Trixie also would be that way! Well done!

[gapaot]

As I always ask all authors writing Trixie, please don't make her weak, very apologetic (slightly apologetic is fine) or shy. Trixie is cool as who she is - arrogant, self-confident, strong magic user and popular showmare. It always pisses me off to see her backing away from manecast's insults or attacks - come on, she tied AJ with her own lasso, tossed RD around with ease, she can handle anypony, except Twilight, albeit even her she can defeat, because of her expirience with all those heigh-sayers trying to upstage her and obvious knack in illusion magic.

So far I like your story. I can believe that she clearly separates her 'stage persona' and all this boasting from 'off-stage' her. Pinkie Pie written very well, talkative, friendly and totally forgiving, to be precise, totally forgetful of all grudges)) Can't wait to see her conversation with Twilight, but don't forget, SHE didn't bring Ursa or even started brawl - manecast boo-ed at her first, and anypony who was smart enough not to go on scene and try to upstage Trixie wasn't humiliated, so Rarity, Dash and AJ pretty much brought it upon themselves.

[Night Shine]

34707 ...personal experience?

[asmariamoon]

Thank you everypony for your input. Now I want to finish Chapter 2 even more. Sadly, my brain's not working properly right now.

34707 It took a while for me to get Pinkie to where she is now. In my first draft, she was not only way too hyperactive, barely even giving Trixie room to speak and pretty much running the fic, but she was also practically demolishing the fourth wall with a bulldozer. I toned her down a lot, and now, I like to think of her as maybe poking her head through little holes in it every once in a while.

34735 The way I see it, Trixie is in kind of a bad place right now. She realizes she had a hoof in causing the Ursa Minor attack; even if it wasn't really her fault, and Snips and Snails acted of their own will, she still wants to apologize, not out of selfish desire to clear her name, but to make things right. Don't worry, once she does that and gets back in her groove, she won't be back to her full arrogance, because nothing is gained if there was no lesson learned, but she won't exactly be Ms. Humble, either. It's kind of her job to be arrogant. I also believe, while she may not have the absolute raw power that Twilight does, she does have the skills and the determination to give Twi a run for her money, if Trixie doesn't win it outright, because most of Twilight's experience with magic has come from books, and maybe a monster or villain every now and then, while Trixie has been out traveling, using her magic to tangle with other ponies first-hand on a daily basis.

[ECH0]

Excellent so far!

[gapaot]

34778

You... You're my god... That's exactly my thoughts! Can't wait to see chapter 2, and I promise to give you review once it's posted. I am absolute sucker to self-confident Trixie stories.

By the way, you may want to read "Great and Powerful" from Fenwolf2003 on DeviantArt. AJ/Trixie shipping with awesome, strong, smart Trixie and dialogues.... Well, read yourself, I can't describe it's sheer awesomness. :)

[asmariamoon]

All right guys, I'd say chapter 2 is about three-quarters of the way done, but after I finish, I've gotta proofread it and stuff, so it might be up this afternoon or maybe tonight, but if it's not, it'll definitely be up tomorrow.

[Fox-Sama]

Trixie glared up at Pinkie. “Sweet Celestia, this is going to be a long night.” she muttered under her breath as she continued up the stairs at the same pace, as if to say, “I’ll go as fast as I darn well please.”

Trixie did not refer to her self in 3ed pony!!!

OH, Celestia, is the world going to end! RUN FOR THE HILLS! Trees and chickens first!

Really good story! thank you, it was Funny and it helped me with a problem I was having!

[asmariamoon]

35527 That wasn't something Trixie actually said, instead, it was implied by her actions, so it doesn't really count :P

[Generic Username]

*adds to track list* excellent story!

[DashXColt]

I tracked even before I read it. This is Twixie we're talking about!

I don't know of what you've read in the past as far as fanfictions, but the whole Pinkie Pie being Trixie's friend and letting her stay over at her place, seems familiar of the fanfiction "Of Mares and Magic."

I look forward to this next chapter!

[asmariamoon]

36971 Yeah, Of Mares and Magic is what inspired me to write this. I really liked how Pinkie and Trixie worked as foils of each other, Trixie being arrogant and serious, and Pinkie being... well, Pinkie, so I decided to use that element here..