Episode 9: A Minor Problem
The bar, unlike most nights, was quiet as most of the patrons had left for the night or the few who had lodging had gone upstairs. Sitting around one of the larger tables sat what could be considered the core members of the Villains Bar. Chrysalis, Sombra, Nightmare Moon, Tirek, and of course Discord himself all had drinks along with small clipboards. Although instead of their being a list of meeting notes, there instead were random doodles sketched on them.
A still helmeted Trixie mindlessly refilled Sombra’s cup as Discord smiled at the gathered evildoers. “Good evening Everyone,” Discord said sipping a glass of chocolate milk. “ we have something important to discuss. A new villain is coming but there’s just a small problem.“
“What, are they some sort of antihero? Or recently turned goodie-goodie?” Tirek asked putting his hands together.
“Well no they are still evil to the core.” Discord rolled his paw.
Before Chrysalis could ask her question, A sudden movement from behind her made her jump in fright. “Hey, are you bringing in Tempest. I mean sure she may have betrayed me, but she was quite the scamp.”
Nightmare Moon’s eyes narrowed getting amusement out of the bug queen’s expression. “No, she isn’t evil anymore.” She paused, “you were not invited.”
“Pfaw! Who am I to miss a party?” Storm said waving his hand around. “Besides, you let the bird and blue pony stay here.” He tried to take a seat only for Chrysalis to pull the chair away.
“I happen to like our bartender,” Tirek remarked.
Discord smirked sipping from his glass. “I have my reasons for keeping Trixie around. She amuses me.” His grin grew. “It’s that right Trixie?”
The great and mind-controlled Trixie nodded standing still as a statue. Sombra glared at the Storm King before smirking. “Take him away,” he declared to Trixie watching his drone move emotionless to the overgrown ape.
“H-hey wait, we can talk this out,” he said, squeaking as Trixie magic scooped him up. He flailed as much as he could as he was taken away from the table like some naughty child. “I demand you put me down!” The others just laughed as he was shuttled away up the stairs.
During the awkward silence that followed Nightmare Moon’s gave a glance over at Sombra impressed by his commanding tone. His musculature wasn’t half bad either. Plus she had to admit that cape was sort of cute in a childish sort of way. Clearly, her armour was better and provided far better protection. She gave a slight cough. “So, who is this new villain.”
Discord drummed his claw on the table. “Hmm, well her name is Cozy Glow.”
Tirek made a fae. “Uck, that sounds like a pony name.”
“That’s because she is. There is just the small issue of her being a minor.”
“Who cares if she is a small villain,” Sombra said cluelessly. “The flim-flam brothers are just as small.”
Chrysalis hissed rolling her eyes. “He means she is a child, you idiot.” She took a sip of her drink. “That does raise the question of why you’d let a child in here of all places.
“Well,” Discord started, pulling out a book and skimming through pages. On the front of the book read Big Book of Spoilers in large red ink. His eyebrow raised as he scanned the words. “Let’s just say she’s quite the trickster and one with words.” He then laughed as he closed the book with a mighty thud. “And she strikes fear into creatures with just one word, Golly” He emphasized the last word with a high pitched voice.
Nightmare Moon laughed. “Is that so?” she rubbed her chin. “I do hear that foals can be quite devious. Clever little buggers.”
“Yes indeed, the only issue is this is a bar and minors can’t have alcohol.” Discord stated, reading from a document.
Tirek rolled his eyes. “So? Just don’t give the squirt any of the adult drinks. Since when do you care about the rules? Is that yellow pony rubbing off on you,” he said giving a knowing smirk.
Discord glared snapping his claw making a pie pan appear filled with cream before smacking into Tirek’s face. “I’ll have you know I do have some standards. And not intoxicating children is one of them.”
As the pie filling dripped off Tirek’s face, the centaur gave a deadpanned look wiping his hand across his eyes. “You know I’m right though. Just don’t let her get those drinks problems solved.”
Discord tapped his chin. “Oh, I do have one way to keep her away from any of those drinks even if she fast-talks the other creatures.”
“And you’re sure this filly isn’t some protagonist? I highly doubt a mere child could reach Villain statues.” Chrysalis said giving her drink a stir.
“Oh, you’ll see in good time,” Discord laughed. “Besides Tirek is pen pals with her. Isn’t that right?” He looked to Tirek with a smirk.
Tirek sputtered,” How did you know about that?”
“I may or may have not peeked into your room and might have spotted a certain reply laying on your writing desk,” Discord said waving his paw in small circles. Numerous glares were fired his way as he rolled his eyes. “I am your landlord after all. Can’t have some super scheming going on.”
Tirek cleared the pie from his face before crossing his arms. “So you must be fully aware of what she is up too. Hence why you are going to invite her here.”
“Oh am I that easy to read?” Discord asked, his head transformed into an open book. “I didn’t know you read Ancient Zebra,” he mocked.
The others leaned in as Tirek replied, “Don’t play coy with me. I fully intend to help her with her master plan and watch those ponies precious magic disappear.”
“Wait, if that magic goes away that makes me unable to change forms,” Chrysalis hissed, baring her fangs.
Tirek scoffed. “So, I don’t care about some bug,” he mocked. “Where is that fly swatter.”
Discord flies over to Chrysalis quickly putting a paw on her shoulder to keep her from leaping out at Tirek. “My you are sure of yourself. It’s a shame too. Can’t wait to see the fireworks.”
“Whatever do you mean? As you said, she can wrap ponies around her little hooves. They’ll never see it coming until it’s too late.”
Discord laughed putting a paw to his chest. “Oh, I thought the same thing when I broke free. The ponies would fall to my will I said. Nopony will stop me. It’s the same thing we all thought, and look where that got us.” He gestured around the whole table grin wide as it could be. “Face it Tirek, we are all destined to fail. It’s the nature of good and evil.”
Tirek huffed out of his nose. “Fate bah, you can’t talk me into giving this up. It’s too perfect.”
Discord leaned close to the Centaur staring eye to eye with him. “Oh, by all means, keep trying. I wouldn’t’ have a series without it.” With that, he rose up to hover above the table clapping his hands. “Well, that’s all I got for this meeting. I’ll bring her by when it isn’t passed her bedtime.”
As the rest stood up, Tirek’s eyes narrowed at Discord. “We’ll see how she does won’t we.” With that, he trotted off towards the stairs finding the room better than that cell in Tartarus. At least he’d get to see Cozy Glow in person soon enough.
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Waiting a little to read it but... Somehow I can imagine Cozy trying to drink only to be told she is too young to drink and be forced to drink Cider or Juice while the 'adults' drink away
.....I want to see the real Grogar.
9946779 Yeah can add him too, and Daybreaker too.
9986052
Do you consider the Comics canon or no?
9986110
The problem is I haven’t really gotten around to reading most of the comics. I’ve read a few of the more important arts but that’s about it.
9986354
Ah. I had other ideas but if you haven't heard of them its hard to explain.
9946493
Well actually my thought was that any time she tries to take an adult drink it actually transforms into chocolate milk. And somehow she hates chocolate milk because she’s just that evil
9988916
Nah, Chocolate Milk is too Discord, and not young enough, I feel Juice is more humiliating
9987056
Yeah....besides trying to merge main canon and comic canon would just get confusing.. LIei said i know nothing about Cosmo or whatnot, haven't read those issues. Being legally blind makes it hard to read comics without getting sore eyes..
10040227
Ah I was going to suggest Nightmare Rarity but Never mind.
10040316
I mean i did read that arc, and Acord, Sombra arc, althoug i that's about it. I could check them out later that evil casnio thing.
10040556
Okay.
Sometimes you oughta go....
WHERE EVERYBODY HATES YOUR FAAAAAAAAAAACE!!! AND THE VILLAINS SHARE YOUR RAAAAAAAAAGE!!!
10111769
Wow does time ever slip away from me. Not that thid story ever had a solid plan. Just kind of make it up as I went.
10113362
This was never supposed to be one story; rather than a series of One-Shots in my opinion. (Just like the Villain Pub)
Next episode should be about transitioning into Gen 5, if we’re going that far on the parody scale.
10116294
Honestly, I’m a little embarrassed I never updated the story more often. I really should get around to writing the next segment