Missing Ditzy

by Shizuo35

'I would never forget....'

Tonight I'm in the trees with a hammock I had brought along. My back hurts from the longest walk I've ever done. This was about a thirty five mile walk. My wings were molting and... It wasn't good flying around with my first pair of molting wings. Guess when it happened. It happened when Ditzy turned sixteen. After we had lost our father and our mother took half of the family fortune neither me or Ditzy knew about we lived off of what ever our nanny made, the doctor cared for us when we were sick and believe it or not I had the worst end of that stick. About a month after mother left I actually went into a suicidal phase which caused some of my hair to turn into a grey scale after I shoved a fork into an electrical socket. I got nailed with fifty thousand volts and survived some how. The doctor said it was a miracle I survived and... Ditzy actually talked some sense into me. After that I did everything I could to keep Ditzy from making a big mistake like I almost did. Up until the nanny left us when we were thirteen she helped me plan Ditzy's birthdays. Same with having it vice versa but I always wanted the same kind of party. Adventuring theme. When Ditzy's sixteenth birthday came around my wings were itching like crazy. Since we were growing older we moved rooms. Our old room got really small for us we both had beds in our so called mothers room. I sat in my bed chewing on my wings either trying to bite them off or rid myself of the itch. Ditzy had Mr. Bunbun since... well I was gonna be the brave one for both of us and brave ponies don't really need something such as silly as that... Gotta say it. Book two. Ahuizotl caught me with a stuffed toy in my hooves, he saw I was embarrassed by it but he vowed to keep his silence. Anyways... Ditzy came over and sat in my bed. "You need some help there?" She asked.

I looked to her seeing her wall-eyed smile and gave a nod. I extended my wings and she helped me preen a bit. I know it was itching but... I actually didn't tell her. "Oooh thank you Ditzy!" I said still trying to resist the urge to scratch myself like a dog. "A-are you excited for your big party tomorrow? I invited everypony we know and I've got that mare at that Sugarcube Corner place helping me setting everything up if that's alright!" Ditzy stopped helping me 'preen' for a moment.

"I don't think I can wait! You throw the bestest parties!" Yeah... The fall she had hurt her thinking. Her grammar was atrocious sometimes but I understood what she was saying no matter what. I gave her a smile having my eye twitch a little bit.

"Well I-I would do anything to see you happy! Now uh.... Can you be a dear and get me the doctor? I... I think I got a bug bite on my flank and it stings like crazy!"

"A buggy bite? Can I see?"

"Ditzy!" Ugh.... I had to snap at her to get the doctor... That didn't feel good nor did my itching wings. She said nothing else and ran out leaving me alone to just fall off my bed, onto my back so I could start scratching my back against the floor. Sure the carpet wasn't doing much for helping with the itch but it was helping with making my bed hit against the wall. Got caught uh.... Doing things when we first got in this room. Not by Ditzy. She actually didn't care. The nanny and the doctor caught me with my hoof where it shouldn't have been and I got grounded. Yes Ahuizotl caught me but at least he left me alone.

The doctor hurried in closing the door behind him. He helped me up off the ground and I started to gnaw on my wings yet again. I was going insane! "Alright Daring let me take a look at the bite! I've seen a few poisonous spiders lately and I do not want you to succumb to the effects of their poisons!" He said. The doctor was afraid of spiders. He studied them to know what the effects of their venom did if they did anything but he always buzzed off as soon as the spider would escape from his line of sight. I grunted.

"Doc it isn't a bug bite or anything my wings are itching like CRAZY! I don't think I can last anymore with these things driving me crazy!" He sighed as I got back on my bed. "I only told Ditzy that so she wouldn't freak out thinking I'm dying of some stupid parasite feeding off of me!" He sat with me on my bed now inspecting my wings. He sighed.

"Well isn't that a relief? No bites just a little bit of molting wings! My advice is take a bath but cover the drain up! Your feathers will come right off, the itching will stop but you wont be able to fly for at least a week or two."

"So you're saying I either deal with the itch or take a bath, have my feathers fall off and walk for a few weeks? What if I wanted to take Ditzy to Cloudsdale?"

"What's in Cloudsdale that Ditzy would wanna see?"

"I don't know but it'd be getting us out of the house! You know how much I don't like sitting around! Why else am I helping the gardener with the herb garden? Not because I want fresh salsa with some chips during my lunch hour but because I have nothing else to do!" The doctor grunted a bit.

"Well I suggest you try the Running of the Leaves to work out your legs if you want something to do! Besides that fortune your parents left you with is dwindling and soon you wont have anything to fall back on! Plus... That nanny was left in charge of how you spent the fortune but upon leaving she took a good chunk of it..." Yeah... We ended up getting fucked by the nanny. She stole our money, which we were supposed to be given upon our sixteenth birthdays, of which the day I'm describing is prior to Ditzy's sixteenth. Me however being born a month apart from Ditzy wanted to wait to be given my half of the fortune. If I had gotten my half of the fortune Ditzy would've been crying and... honestly it hurts to see her cry ever since she had that fall... I actually wish I could've swapped myself with her. I wish I were to take the damage done to her and have her walk freely without being looked upon as a quote 'retarded bitch'. At my fourteenth birthday I had a few 'friends' over... I say friends that way because they weren't ever my friends after that.... I leave the living area to use the bathroom and what do I see when I come back? I see Ditzy crying in the corner with a black eye, her mane ripped out in a few places and the words whore, slut, cum dumpster and useless written on her flank. The only thing I couldn't scrub out were the memories of that night...

Anyways about an hour later I finished washing myself up looking at my wings in the mirror. Nothing but a tattered mess. The itch stopped but my feathers were being sifted out of the bath by the doctor while, believe it or not, Ditzy was at my side holding my hoof. I had tears in my eyes while she tried to wipe them away. "Daring! Why didn't you say you were losing feathers?" She asked. "I would've understand how you feeled!"

I sniffled hugging Ditzy. My wet mane dripped onto my face masking my tears. "...D-ditzy... I just... I didn't want you to worry about me..." I said. "...I... I thought you would've been freaking out about me.... I would've ruined your birthday...." Ditzy gave a smile giving me a kiss on my cheek.... Warm feelings I wont ever mind sharing with anyone. Book four had me sad being so far away from home... I managed to find Ahuizotl more towards the end of the book and he called his henchcolts off giving us some time alone. I only make Ahuizotl the biggest bad guy in my books because... well... what would my books be if I only told the truth? Complete shit. I find treasure, Ahuizotl and I talk before he tries stealing the treasure from me and I get it on in a cave WITH Ahuizotl. Who would read that? I wouldn't even use my pen name on that! But while I was there with Ahuizotl that night I had a nightmare about Ditzy upon my return. She didn't even want me to talk with her... It scared me really bad.... Lets just say I had to wash myself off in a pond and dry myself with one of Ahui's shirts. So embarrassing but he kept my secrets. Back to what was going on Ditzy gave me a smile and a kiss on the cheek.

"You cant ruin things we does! You planded my party! We's gonna have a lotssa fun! So no cry!" She nuzzled me as a sob escaped... And a little gas but... that's only a condition. If I cry I burp a few times.

"...O-of course I ruin everything... I ruined our first sleep over.... I ruined our first hearths warming without mom and dad... I... I even ruined dinner on Hearths Warming..." Yeah... I was making Mac'n Cheese, burned it and I wasn't allowed to use the stove for about a few months.

"You ruined nothing! You tried and that's better than not doing!" I have to admit... I was pretty thick headed at that time. My emotions always got the best of me and since we actually could go out on our own the I flew to try and run from my emotions... That of which I have done in book number three. That was the book I had a busted wing. Hurt like hell but what I felt in my heart was a greater pain. A puma mauled the mother of two small monkey children... I bucked the puma causing it to run off but he scratched the hell out of my flank before making a run for it... How did I get around? Well... Ahuizotl... Yes it always has to point to him. He and I are actually good friends believe it or not. The so called 'race for the treasure' isnt a dangerous one but more of a friendly competition. Sorry to those who read it but it is true. You did hear it from the horses mouth... literally I'm a horse... bad pun. So... Ahuizotl found me writhing in pain trying to find a medicinal fauna I read up on. He carried me and had a few of his henchcolts, AKA his team of survival experts since he wasnt fond of living out in the wilderness being what he is. A black panther, cursed by a zebra witch doctor to live up until he finds his true love, then of which after they die, he dies too. But... Yes he found the plant, i was healed and actually helped me to heal up before going after the treasure again. In my own mind at the time of me being with Ditzy I though about how I was going to calm myself. Nothing came to mind until Ditzy hugged me again. A warm feeling surged through my body. I gave a smile and tackled Ditzy to the floor almost as if I wanted to dry my body with her body heat.

"...Th-thank you Ditzy.... I love having you as a sister...." I nuzzled Ditzy until the doctor pried us apart. He wrapped me in a towel and Ditzy helped me dry off. That night just probably about an hour later Ditzy and I decided to push our beds close together and cuddle with Mr. Bunbun in between us. We uh... We didn't want him to be left out of our sisterly bond.

Even with each other embraced I freaked out and had a nightmare. It started out with me flying over the forest with a flock of razor winged hawks on my tail. I was attacked by hawks a few months before that and woke up across the room. The razor wings were from a bird movie someone made. Anyways I was flying over the forest containing our home with that flock on my tail. I saw Ditzy on the ground but I wouldn't dare ever to go near her with danger around me. The hawks buzzed me trying to cut my neck, my haunches and basically every part of my body. One hawk came so close to slashing my face up I swear I felt the blade touch my cheek. The hawks took a quick turn and back tracked but... they just whipped around and cut my wings right off. Ditzy just watched as I went into a nose dive where I fell through branches smashing my face on everything on the way down until I smacked into the ground. That's just when the ground opened up and I fell into a pool of water in an underground spring. Worst part is... I don't know how to swim. I started to splash about trying to keep myself above the water panicking like hell trying not to drown. Well... until I started to hear a voice. "Daring! Daring! Daring wake up!" It said. It was the doctor. Suddenly a rock hits me in the face and I wake up to see the doctor standing over me, a warm feeling under me and Mr. Bunbun on my cheek. The doctor sighed. "...Finally you woke up... Ditzy woke up when you hit her in the face... She's in the bathroom right now keeping her nose from bleeding anymore than it had..." I sat up a bit.

"...I... gave Ditzy a nosebleed?" I said confused and a bit scared. I never hit Ditzy. NEVER! The doctor nodded as I sat up. The warm feeling felt like a puddle under me. I brought my hoof up having it drip a bit. "Did... Did someone try and wake me up with some water?" I only ask because the covers on top of me were a bit wet as well. The doctor blushed.

"Uh... No... No we didn't Daring... I got back in here and saw the stains but... well..." He pulled back the covers and... Yeah... I blushed hard because....

"I... I wet the bed...?" The doctor nodded and I started to tear up.

"...REM sleep causes things like this and you caught the worst end of it." He grabbed my hoof and helped me out of the bed. I looked back at the stain and realized it wasn't just a trickle but a downpour. It was a huge stain. "C'mon... lets get you into the bath and clean up... I have to check on Ditzy anyways..." Even though this house was secluded and very few ponies lived here I felt like I was doing a walk of shame through busy streets with a leash, a collar and the word WHORE written on a blindfold covering the shame from my eyes. The blindfold hid my shame yet I still saw everything.... After what felt like miles on that shame walk I found myself in the bathroom staring at Ditzy who was sobbing on the toilet with a clump of bloody TP on her face. The doctor released my hoof and I climbed into the tub. "Alright Ditzy let me see if the bleeding stopped."

Ditzy whined and whimpered trying to keep the doctor away from her face yet he still took the tissues away. I saw dried blood on her muzzle. I reached for her seeing if she wanted a hug but.... she just... she gave me the cold shoulder... it felt... absolute zero... the coldest temperature... "...I-it still hurts doc..." She said sounding a bit nasally. The doctor grabbed another clump of toilet paper and held it up to her nose.

"Here blow." She blew her nose and when the doctor took the tissues away she screamed seeing nothing but more blood. I wanted to get out and hug her but... I was just too broken up. Wet bed, hitting her in the face and just being shrugged off... it all just hurt like hell. It hurt worse than my injury in book three. It hurt worse than Ditzy's injuries when we were younger. It even hurts worse than when we lost our father! The doctor shushed and wiped Ditzy's nose from any remaining blood. "Ditzy! Ditzy calm down! Please you don't have a nose bleed anymore you're fine!" I could tell she wanted to stop crying but she couldn't. Tears poured from her eyes, snot from her nose and endless sobs.

I just slumped down in the bath tub curling up. It only took a few minutes for Ditzy's sobbing fade out. The doctor had to pull her onto his back and carry her out. Lucky him us pegasai are light. Anyways I washed myself of and returned to the bedroom to see Ditzy curled up in the corner. My bed was stripped as well as my own sisters emotions. I hesitantly approached Ditzy but.... I ended up sitting on my bed. "Ditzy...." I said. "...If you're listening... If you're listening and I really want you to..." Tears came to my eyes. "...I... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to hit you.... I was having a nightmare.... and... just because... Ha-ha...." I couldn't force it out I was so sad. As I break down crying I fell back in my bed. For the longest time I lied there sobbing with no covers, no sister to cuddle and no one there to comfort me. I saw the doctor come in and bring Ditzy to her bed. She... She fell asleep crying. I rolled right over and dropped out of my bed onto my hooves. He came right over to me but... He knew what I wanted. He picked me up after giving me a hug and carried me to his bed where I snuggled with him. To clarify his room now was my mothers room years ago. His room then is ours now. Our room then has just turned into a study.

When the light of day broke I got up finding myself lying on top of the doctor. Almost right there in his arm pit. I just left his room, brushed my mane and checked on Ditzy. She was still asleep and cuddling Mr. Bunbun. I just sighed as I went in, gave her a soft kiss on her cheek before going down stairs. When I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water I saw the gardener setting out a bowl of fruit and a little gift marked for Ditzy. Just as I filled up a glass he looked to me. The gardener was a unicorn. Dark green mane and light brown coat almost matching mine. His cutie mark was just a pair of gardening shears. "Ah good morning lady Daring!" He said. "How are you this fine morning?" I sighed after chugging the glass.

"....There isn't anything fine about today.... I had a shitty night last night and.... it had to do with the birthday girl..." I walked over and sat at the table grabbing a banana. "...Apparently during my nightmare I was freaking out and smacked Ditzy in the nose... Not to mention I uh... well... watered my plants..." I blushed starting to peel the banana. "The worst part of it was... I couldn't get near her to apologize or even hug her..." The gardener pulled up a chair and sat down next to me.

"So that's what I was hearing last night. This place is so big I thought the wind was blowing so hard it was echoing through the house." Oh... Yeah he lives down stairs. Not only does he know how to garden he's basically the security guard of this house. One time somepony broke in and I was face to face with the guy. I was so scared I couldn't even scream or piss myself. He basically came out of nowhere, checked the guy and pinned him threatening to slash his throat with a machete.... Brutal but he really does have a machete. He goes and hacks at tree branches to bring in for firewood during the fall. "My suggestion to you... try to think of something Ditzy actually wants. You go and get it for her just so you can get her forgiveness. They say you shouldn't buy forgiveness but I know how much you love your sister."

"...But... What if I don't want to buy her forgiveness and try to earn it back?"

"Well why don't you just go out and do a little walking? I know you do your best thinking while moving and from the look of those wings I think you wont be flying for a while." I guess that's when I slammed my head on the table. I nearly forgot about my wings with Ditzy's stuff going on. Anyways I quickly ate my banana and left the house.

I ended up walking through Ponyville trying to figure out what I should do for Ditzy's forgiveness for hours. Flying was my best way of thinking and since I couldn't fly I couldn't make a quick decision. I actually avoided Sugarcube Corner just so I wouldn't be reminded of Ditzy. I feel like if i'm away from things for a while I forget what I was thinking about and go about a normal day. Trust me it helps a lot. But... my mind pointed to Ditzy and trying my hardest to make a decision. Well... My decision came but... when it was too late. I came to Sugarcube Corner seeing all the party decorations up still, a large amount of cake and Ditzy sitting with one of the owners, Miss Cake, a pink curly maned blue earth pony. As I entered I could hear Ditzy whimpering. This wasn't whimpers of pain. Just... deep sadness. Miss Cake looked up at me giving me a mean look. "You there!" She snapped. "You get over here this instant! You put so much trouble into throwing this party and you don't even show up?!? What the hell is wrong with you hasn't your mother raised you right?"

I sighed hanging my head as I sat at a table right next to Ditzy. "...She left us when we were ten... so... I'm going to answer no." I said. I looked to her. "...Can... You please leave us alone...? I want to talk with my sister alone...." Miss Cake gave a nod and ran over to her fiancé at the time Carrot Cake. Don't worry. Miss Cake actually took his last name. Her real name is Miss Scone. Doesn't really sound as good.

I got up and moved next to Ditzy. I saw tears in her eyes and a half eaten slice of cake in front of her. "....Now you show up..." She said. "...You... you forgeted my birfday...." I sighed resting my hoof on her arm.

"I would never forget your birthday Ditzy... but... seems everypony else did...." I looked around blushing a bit. Ditzy sniffled taking her arm away.

"...No... They all left.... I had four of everypony invited come... they askeded if I was okay but.... I just wanted you to be here...." She looked to me. "...Wh-why you no come....?" I started to tear up.

"...To... to be honest Ditzy... I'm hurt... I didn't mean to hit you last night.... I mean... I peed my bed.... I was expecting to get comfort from you but... instead I see you with a bloody nose and... you just shrugged me off like I didn't matter when I wanted to hug you... I meant to be here sooner but... I was thinking about how I could get you to forgive me for hurting you...."

"But I do forgive you for that! I just... wanna not forgive you for not coming to birfday..." It was there I hugged Ditzy breaking down crying. She hugged me back and comforted me. I think the Cakes felt so bad for me they came over brought us a milk shake to share. To clarify here I hate chocolate, she hates vanilla so the only one we could agree on would be strawberry. Yeah so... Ditzy and I ended up walking all the way home. She had her wing holding my tattered shreds I had to call wings for a while but.... believe it or not a day after I got back in the air Ditzy had her wings molt and I forgot about this experience almost entirely. Yeah. I almost forgot about this. I remembered this because..... Yeah last night I was sleeping around a waterfall and.... you can probably guess what happened.... That's what triggered the memories... Anyways... I should really be getting to sleep... it's late and I've got more of a hike in the morning... planning on meeting Ahuizotl at his cottage just north of here.