Let’s set up a scene, shall we?
You’re on a train that’s taking you to somewhere far, far away.
You don’t know where it’s headed, but the only thought in your mind is getting there.
Wherever ‘there’ may be.
The world outside is flying by, but you can’t see past the dense fog that has settled over the invisible world.
It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen, but it doesn’t matter.
The fog isn’t where you’re headed.
As you look outside, you see a face in the window.
A tired, old face.
A face without remorse, without pity.
My face.
And the train keeps chugging on down the track, the whistle blowing a few times as it speeds up.
Yet all you can see is my face in the window as I peer at your very soul.
There is nothing else but you and me.
There is no god here.
Bright white lights; that’s all I could see. They flashed in my eyes for but a few seconds, before retreating to the dim ambiance of the train car. Rain pattered against the windows, filling the place with a drone that nearly muffled all other sound. Only a few others were here with me, wearing the same faded blue clothes given to us by our oppressors. I paid no attention to them, however. My mind was on the world outside, the bleak light of the sun diffusing through the thick layer of fog.
Just a dream, I reassured myself. Just a dream.
The train had been on the move for a few hours now, yet no matter where it went, the dense fog outside seemed to follow. I knew, deep down, that the fog didn’t come from Cloudsdale. Yet as to why, I had no clue. It was as if the world donned these gray colors for sheer symbolism, like it was trying to tell us, the whole world, something important.
To tell you that magic is gone.
“Let me out of this goddamn cage, you bastards!” An orange pegasus rammed into the barred windows repeatedly for a bit before landing back on the ancient carpeted floor, huffing.
“Fightin’ ain’t gonna get you anywhere,” a beige unicorn said. He sat upon the worn red seat nearest to the door, crossing his front legs and leaning on the wall behind him. “Just siddown an’ relax. Ain’t no way you gonna get outta here.”
“Shut it, you old codger!” The pegasus didn’t even bother to turn around. “I’m gonna get out of here even if it kills me!”
“Colt, you better watch your mouth. Ain’t nopony teach ya how ta talk to your elders?”
The pegasus turned around. “I told you to shut up!” He slammed one of his hooves down, making the wooden floorboards underneath the patterned carpet creak slightly. “I’m going to get out of here, one way or another.”
“Why do ya wanna fight so badly?”
“Because they took my family away from me!”
“And?” The pegasus was rendered silent. “And?” The old unicorn yelled at the top of his lungs, his words ringing in my ears for a few moments.
“You think you’re special? You think that if ya fight, you’ll get ‘em back? They took us all away from our families, our friends! Better stallions than you! You ain’t special, you ain’t different. Just ‘cause you wanna fight for your folks don’t make you a hero. It took those damn aliens seven hours to come ‘ere an’ take o’er. What chance do ya think you got?”
For a while, the unicorn’s words echoed throughout the train car before disappearing into my memory. A few moments of silence ensued, the only noise being the light tapping of the dying rain against the roof.
The pegasus slowly crept back to his seat and sighed. “Thanks for that. I… haven’t slept very well lately.”
“Why’re ya getting’ transferred?”
“No clue,” the pegasus said with a slight chuckle. “All I know is that they came to my door last night. Told me that I broke a few rules that I never knew existed. Next thing I know, I’m here on my way to wherever the hell we’re - “
“New Canterlot.”
The pegasus’ eyes widened. “This can’t be good.”
“Won’t be as bad as ya think it will.”
“That’s what you think,” the pegasus huffed. “One wrong move and it’s off to --”
“Ya shouldn’t think ‘bout those things. Just don’t get into any – “
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” The pegasus yawned. “I’m going to go to sleep for a bit. Only thing I can do, I suppose.” He closed his eyes.
The unicorn sighed and leaned back into his seat, closing his eyes as well. “You’ve been really quiet, ‘aven’t ya?”
My ears shot up.
“Aren’t you worried ‘bout where we’re goin’, too?”
Silence.
“A quiet one, huh?” The unicorn chuckled. “I can’t blame ya. Not much to say ‘bout the world right now. An’ I don’t think it’s gonna get any better.”
He turned towards me, a sincere look in his old, gray eyes. “I’m worried too, tho’ I fancy I don’t look it. I’ve been through more transfers than I can count. A bit of advice: keep low and they won’t bother ya… much.”
<--------------------------------------------------------------->
I covered my ears as the squeal of the train’s brakes shattered the still air of the car. The old wooden car jerked forward a bit as it came to a complete stop. We had finally arrived. The unicorn slowly slid out of his chair and shook the pegasus awake whilst I headed out of the door.
I took a long, deep breath of fresh, unfiltered air. It was magnificent: the feeling of finally being able to stretch my legs after such a long time. I couldn’t quite recall how long it had taken, but what bothered me still were the unicorn’s words, still ringing in my ear.
We ain’t got no family no more.
“Welcome! Welcome to New Canterlot. You have chosen, or have been chosen, to transfer to one of the finest urban centers we have left.”
I looked up at the rectangular screen that leaned off of a large steel pillar. A dark-blue alicorn smiled as she spoke calmly into the microphone situated before her.
“I kindly thank our benefactors for allowing me to have precedence over my home city, and also for the deliverance of our new beacon of the future: the Citadel. And so, whether you are here to stay, or passing through on your way to parts unknown, I would like to once again say: welcome to New Canterlot!”
The video relay fritzed out a bit before beginning another loop, droning on about the same message.
“Rarity! Rarity!”
A foal’s voice broke through the sea of noise that flowed through the air. A small little filly was frantically jumping up and down upon a raised concrete platform back against the far wall, her eyes frantically scanning over the small crowd that had gathered from the arriving trains. “Rarity, where are you?”
I slowly made my way through the dispersing crowd towards her, glancing around to see if anypony else had paid her any attention. Yet nopony seemed to notice. I sighed and continued my approach, stopping at the foot of the platform and looking up at the filly.
The platform was a few feet high, but it wasn’t a problem with a little backstep. Jumping up to the filly’s side, a desperate look in her emerald eyes was clearly visible amongst her panicking face. Turning to me, she stared at me straight on with a sense of fear I hadn’t seen in a very long time.
“Please, sir! Help me find my sister! I’ve been looking so hard, and-” she cried.
Amidst her pleas, I simply nodded my head to show my agreement. She smiled a little at the gesture, and nodded herself. I returned the favor, and smiled myself.
“Welcome! Welcome to New Canterlot - “
One Question: How long will it be until you release chapter 3 of this fic?
666989
Heheheh.
When 1+2=3, because by Valve's logic it's 2.5.
666994
Hmm..... Let's just hope I didn't start another story fab where everyone writes the same exact thing.... Other than that, Good luck on the Hl2 story, it's got a tough background.
are you going to change how this ends at all? because if it's just a rehash of half life 2 it'll be enjoyable, but not very exciting.
667032
I'm adding a bit more to the story for dramatic effect, so there will be both minor and big changes, but not enough to detract from the greatness of HL2
667040
I surely hope not, this series is a gem, and i hope you do a good job with it :)
667031
I must admit, seeing as how there is a little amount of Half-Life 2 crossovers, I decided to give it a go. I actually saw your fic a while back and that's what gave me the idea.
This is good so far.... is Luna Dr. Breen...?
667395 That's what I thought not to be bash or anything. Just keep it dramatic and dark. I added lighthearted(ness) because I had way too much gore and dark stuff like that.
667602
I don't do gore. I do violence and slight blood, but never gore. I like to provide some form of comedic relief in my fics, but those moments are few and far in between, and are rarely anything other than dry wit. I'll keep it at that contrast, considering what I'm aiming for.
Need I say that I approve of this?
But needs moar "Pick up that can".
667623
I couldn't agree with you more.
667621 Lmfao when I write Hl2 style, I think of, "-and the sharp crowbar slashed through the zombine's arm, splattering blood all over despite the thick; heavy suit." <--- I got a bit in to it there
i1069.photobucket.com/albums/u461/MasterCombine/Moar.jpg
Words do not describe the WANT.
Yeah, seriously, this was good. Please see this story through to the end, or I will be forced to transfer you to one of our off-world labor camps.
It was very well written; Good dialogue and nice use of imagery. I greatly look forward to the next chapter
Now for some questions/concerns:
-Was the voice at the beginning the G-man/G-Pony/some sort of G-man-esque figure? I was just kind of getting that vibe with the whole "No pity, no remorse, I'm watching you, there is no god here" thing.
-Will we find out exactly why Luna yielded so easily to the Combine (I mean agreed to act as a figurehead for them. Obviously the Combine were able to take over due to their advanced technology)? Where's Celestia?
-Is the main character a mute, like Gordon Freeman himself? His lack of speaking in this chapter doesn't necessitate him being mute, but it will be interesting to see how you handle it if that is indeed the case.
-Will Free ever "pick up that can"?
-Also, just a comment. Please make the next chapters longer This is by no means a complaint aimed towards you or your writing, but simply at the amount of writing (Very good, highly intriguing writing) available in this one chapter. Reaching the end of that roughly 1400 words so quickly was a sadface moment indeed.
-If any of these questions will be addressed in the coming chapters, feel free to respond with the obligatory, vague "Wait and see".
So yes, if you didn't get the impression already, I like it, and I want more of it. Preferably soon. I kid, take your time. But not too long
TL;DR Very promising, keep up the good work
We- I mean I, shall be watching you...
i1069.photobucket.com/albums/u461/MasterCombine/combine_symbol2.jpg
-MasterCombine
667933
You asked for it, so:
Wait and see.
Heheheheh.
667966
It was worth a try
Any estimate on the arrival of chapter 2, though?
Not to sound impatient, of course
667975
Funny thing, this part was originally going to be much longer. I mean, MUCH longer. About 6000 words. However, due to my lack of time and focus, I decided against it.
Back to the point: I have just begun writing Part II
So don't worry. It'll be on its way.
Haha, good to know. As I said before, looking forward to it.
Doc-tor Free-mare?