Chronicles of a madpony

by Sugarcubes

Chapter 1: The city of Silver

I am writing this under immense psychological strain. For to recall these events is to come face to face with the worst of my fears and nightmares unable to be uttered of. But it must be written, for I fear that I will otherwise forget the lessons that I have learned from what I've seen and what I've done.

I have always lied to everypony about my very first memory. I was always known as an eccentric little pony when I was but a foal, dancing and prancing and playing all day long with my own imagination, never having made any true friends at that age. That changed at a later point in life, but we'll get to that later.

To my parents, my first memory was going into their room and jumping on their bed shouting "MOMMY! DADDY! I'M ALIVE! I'M ALIVE!!!" They simply thought I was being eccentric little old me again and cuddled me, whispering sweet words that lulled me back to sleep.

The truth I never uttered to them, for I feared that they would not understand. For my true first experience, I will never forget.

I have never been able to remember anything about my infant stage, nor did I remember anything about anything before my third birthday. But what I do remember, are the dreams. They were small at first, little swamps with some creepy fog, lights in the distance or being stuck in a very tall tower. For years I remember dreaming and wondering about the lights in the distance.

But the night before my third birthday, I found myself wandering through that wretched swamp towards the lights. I didn't know what I was going to see when I arrived there, but I had some irresistible urge to make it to the source of the lights. For what seemed like hours I walked, past the trees of the swamp, past the tall tower I had been captured in in so many of my dreams, past more trees and even some stray rocks more beautiful than anything I could ever imagine.

At last, after what seemed like several hours of walking, my little hooves found their way to the source of the light. But what I saw was something I truly did not expect.

A city, seemingly made of silver. Not just any silver, the purest kind of silver. Houses, towers, libraries and even some buildings unbeknownst to me were all made of pure silver that shone in the full moon that never set. Among these building I walked alone, marvelling at the grandiose architecture and wondering what kind of ponies could build a place like this. It was truly magnificent!

My foal-like wonder however, didn't last.

For around the first corner of the first silver building, I saw the ponies that inhabited these streets. They were clothed in pure white robes that covered their faces and the rest of their bodies, reaching almost to the ground. I marvelled at the sight as I wandered through these ponies and tried talking to a few of them.

But they didn't understand me.

Slowly, a circle of these ponies formed around me. They walked in that same circle around me, making it impossible for me to go onward to explore the city. I wanted to see so much more! I wanted to... to... And that's when I realized something, something truly dreadful.

There were no hoofsteps besides my own.

This is when the fear gripped me, the fear of a child who didn't know what was going on. After a few moments, the creatures around me stopped moving and simply stared at me. A cold winter air blew around me, making the hairs of my coat stand on end. One of the creatures approached me, making me shrink back in fear. It stopped right in front of me, seeming to regard me with some strange interest. The kind of interest a scientist shows towards one of his subjects. The creature slowly removed its hood, even though there were no hooves to remove it.

And then I screamed.

Under the hood, pure white eyes stared at me. Whiter than the silver streets that glistened in the moonlight and whiter than bone. The rest of the creature's head was completely translucent, making it possible for me to see its razor-sharp teeth through its lips and cheeks. I was completely frozen in fear, unable to utter anything but a faint whine as tears streaked down my face.

The creature noticed this and seemed to smile, a smile that literally went from ear-to-ear. A smile that showed its teeth out of its mouth and showed that they were covered in bright red blood. It spoke to me in a language I had never heard before nor ever heard since, but I knew exactly what the creature was saying.

"Are you afraid?

I nodded frantically, hoping that if I told the creatures what they wanted to hear that they would leave me alone. How wrong I was. The creatures around me all laughed, hollow laughs that chilled me to the bone. The laughs of murderers and criminals, of psychopaths and madponies. The creature in front of me looked back into my eyes, somehow freezing me in place without even doing anything. Never have I felt this kind of fear before, even if I was so young. The creature kept smiling and spoke once again.

"You should be"

I shuddered, already unable to look away from the creature's terrifying dead eyes. It opened it's mouth and I was forced to look into it's throat, into infinity. I saw blackness darker than the darkest unlit night. Nothing had ever seemed this dark to me before, and wouldn't seem as dark ever again. I was about to be not only eaten, but completely destroyed! I didn't want to die, I didn't want to die....

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!"

That was the instant I woke up, sweating profusely and terrified beyond belief. I looked around me and above me, I even checked under my bed. Those things were nowhere to be seen. I sighed in relief and decided that it was but a dream. I got out of bed and walked towards the door to find mommy, I was only three years old after all and that was a scary nightmare.

I opened the bedroom door and walked through, looking to the right towards mommy's door. I saw nothing but the hallway illuminated lightly by the lights out in the street. I closed my bedroom door, looked to the left, then I froze.

There it was. That same creature with it's lifeless white eyes and blood covered teeth. I couldn't move, couldn't scream, all I could do was watch as it hovered closer and closer to me. How was it here?! I was awake! It opened it's mouth once again and I once again saw the darkness so powerful that even Luna herself would be afraid of it. I closed my eyes, resolved to the fact that I would be dead soon. And then?

Then it moved backwards. It smiled a serene smile this time and spoke in that unknown language once again.

"You have learned not to fear death, remember this young one"

And then, it vanished. I couldn't believe my luck! I was alive! I stormed into my mommy's and daddy's bedroom and jumped on the bed screaming "MOMMY! DADDY! I'M ALIVE! I'M ALIVE!!!"

For years and years I lived on, trying to be the best scientist I could from a young age and specializing in the field of dreams. But I never forgot that thing, which I came to call a Specter. It taught me the most valuable lesson in my life. To not fear death when it comes, but to openly accept it when the time came.

In the darkness of my room, I sometimes still see them. Smiling their sinister smile, blood covered teeth and unending darkness in their throats. And I knew that I would never again be free of them.

Author's Note:

Comments

[Arachne the weaver]

I might not be very good, but I do know a little of psychology.

The "silver city" as you put it, is the lure going out of that which gives you comfort is. Wondering what's outside, why does it shine, how does it look, is it pretty or ugly etc.

The hodded ponies could be either the fear of knowing what people hide inside themselves (intentions and dark, twisted desires) or the fact that in the end, death will claim everything we know and love, therefore we must accept that fact.

But in the end, my friend, these things, these horrible nightmares you have must, will and shall play by YOUR rules for they live inside YOUR head.

I don't want to intrude in your life, let alone intrude in your business, but if you ever need any type of help I am more than willing to help you out.

If you have skype, this is my address: David Schneider Junior, the profile pic is the same has here.

PS: May fortune smile upon your path