Prologue - Consequences To Everything
One could not predict the amount of consequences the traveling between dimensions can possibly cause. Some are minimal, brief instances that occurred at such a low frequency of existence that they might as well have not even happened at all. Yet, surely there is some being that was able to witness it. This kind of magic was greatly forbidden at one time, constrained by only a few portals and enchanted objects. To travel across these various, alternative planes of existence, was known by mages and sorcerers of the old world as being a "Tourist". The magic originated from the ancient tribes of Elven Deer-kin, who originally inhabited the Everfree Forest. When pony tribes came to claim the land, they were pushed out - some placed on reservations and others growing in numbers in guerilla groups. Someponies would whisper in the night that it was the Deer who placed a curse on the Everfree, they were magical beings that could walk between what they referred to as "Spheres". Realms of existence, often dictated by their own demi-gods to a degree. Dismissed by unicorn specialists as folklore, mysticism and heresy - much similar to their treatments of taboo Zebra magic - these theories soon fell into obscurity and vanished along with the original tribes of the Everfree.
But then, Sunset Shimmer was shown something. A gate of magic, to another world - another "sphere". This realm was a strange one, not a mirror universe but rather - a universe that has been born into existence through thought alone. Sunset remembered it vividly, what it was like to step through and onto other side. Such an invasive, assertive action that had violated another world, but in her mind, gave a gift to it. Their ego was already at an all time after she had just knocked out two members of the Royal Guard herself. Her heart thundered as her hooves did on the polished marble floor of Celestia's palace. Her eyes eagerly grew when the portal came closer to her touch, a strange reflection looking back at her - not of her form, but certainly of herself. She saw power, where there was such power - there would be somepony like her wishing to take it.
Sunset did not hesitate, she would show a world that it did not need a princess like Celestia. Her once beloved teacher had become a tyrant that dictated her life, that had held her back for far too long. The consequences would never be the same, it was time to embrace a brand new world. She forced her head through like a thin layer of water that rushed down the side of a building, generated from the harsh rains above. It was a cleansing experience, nearly a baptism. She opened her eyes and felt as if her soul had merged with another. The same sensation a mother would have, carrying a child - only this was different in the way she felt another presence in her heart. But the journey to the other world was not yet complete - the strange magic had its own, very strange ways of introducing itself to a newcomer, a new "Tourist".
"Good evening, good evening, good evening!" A surprisingly posh, sophisticated voice greeted her as she traveled through a blinding abyss of warping, water-like magic. What looked to be a silhouette of a man, a strange bipedal creature never seen in the eyes of the pony Sunset Shimmer. It would be like seeing a new colour, for the first time. Even if she could speak and react, there was nothing to say other than give an absent stare of utter astonishment and surprise. The head was not of anything that should be mounted on the creature's strange shoulders. But the head was almost equine, yet had proud, twisting antlers that reached upward. "It has been so long since we have seen a new face, so forgive me if we come off as anything hostile or simply - not of your age. You see, culture tends to change in the dark, backward abysm of time." Sunset would have blinked in confusion to these words, but that is when she realized she had no eyes to blink with. She was merely a soul - transitioning from one place to another, in some otherworldy transit.
The sensation of not being tangible would give some nightmares, but only intrigue others. Sunset Shimmer was an expert user of magic, even when she dabbled briefly in the Dark Arts she was enthralled by instances such as this. Some had occasionally dreamed of seeing themselves hovering over their own bodies, but this was like being the paint on a new canvas - starring back at its own, previous - restricting container and prison. A vessel that would hold them down, no longer - anymore. "Very shocking, I am sure it is - all very enthusiastically different from anything your kind has dabbled with - regarding the use of magic and what not. In fact, your people only discovered magical transportation 100 years ago?" The voice came from a soft female mouth - a similar shadow was nearby. An oddly slim, shaped head but with no antlers to be seen - unlike the other to her side. The interdimensional beings were hard to put a definition on - they stood in place through the moving, waving winds of existence, even when tangibility in the first place did not exist. "The question you want to ask is going to involve the word "what", I am sure. But I insist it is less of what, where and why."
Their seeming shadow twin continued off from the last sentence. They continued forth with a verbal barrage of diction and understanding, showing they both communicated the same thoughts and perhaps even had a conjoined consciousness of some sort. "It is more about "when". Time is a strange thing, even in dimensions - we are not merely hoisted up by the strings like some puppets by what you consider to be logic. We are beyond logic, even existence - we are misused, well-placed paradoxes." Sunset Shimmer's currently non-existing head hurt trying to take all this cryptic communication from alien lifeforms. The winding path was coming to a close, as the walls of flowing time itself started to funnel down. She began to feel her flesh again and even hair. Their eyes moved so hard that they must have clicked, the end of the portal was soon in her face - only to be left to fend on her own in the new world with just a few words of advice. "So, I am sure you know the drill. Don't freak out too much, enjoy your new life and don't kill anyone if you can avoid it. Murder is universally frowned upon in all spheres of the cosmos. Wear a helmet, don't run with scissors and drink milk."
---
Sunset opened her eyes, sweat pouring down her face. She sighed and was glad that it was just another dream. Rather, it was more of a memory that kept replaying itself like a bad, daytime television movie. Her head raised slowly to scan the room, in her half-asleep state, it almost resembled the one back in the castle in Equestria. But that was impossible, she was primarily stuck here and she knew it. She could not return, especially after the heresy she committed in front of Celestia. A regretful sigh escaped her as she rolled her body to the corner of the small bed and let her feet touch the soft carpeting. She was still exhausted and recovering from the Battle of the Bands incident. Her reformation has been a long road to recovery for some, many did not recognize her new state as a new person and a better one at that. Especially her parents, who could not grasp to understand the changes in their daughter over the last year. It was a shame, just like the ones back on the other side of the mirror, it seemed that they only cared about her when they were in worry.
Throughout the night, they would open the door to peek in or even dare to knock, asking if she needed anything at zero two in the morning. But, when things were perfectly fine, there was nothing from them. Distance parents who only provided the necessary, sometimes with very little of the love. With a stretch of her back, she stopped at the dark pink, almost purple dresser beside her bed. The mirror was decorated with stickers and photographs, from a past that was not exactly her's. She had trouble deciding which kind of Sunset Shimmer she wanted to be. While similar, her counterpart in this world - who strangely disappeared when she entered it, as if she took her place - had a growing streak of mean from a young age. Perhaps this is was just how time worked in other dimensions. Some things are predestined, predetermined by greater trials of existence. She was always meant to be this way, but maybe it was her upbringing primarily under Celestia, as a student and almost daughter-like figure, if not a little sisterly that prevented her from boiling over before.
The idea of many strands of existence, all with different "what ifs?" brought an all familiar migraine that focused in the center of her forehead. Sunset stared into the mirror, for some reason, she felt that she looked better in the mornings when she was slightly unkept. This illusion did not interfere with her hygiene, of course. Already she had started to maintain her red and yellow hair, sometimes she would brush it like a mane unknowingly. Her past life was always more than a shadow looming behind her, unlike the shame of her actions in both worlds. Her eyes wandered past her own face to a photo in the corner of the mirror, wedged between the glass and the frame. A fairly young Shimmer, greeting a man in uniform - weary from his travels. Her father, a member of the Equestrian Home Reserve Force. A national guard, home army that operated on weekends for drill to give part-time assistance to local security. There was a small tear bundled up behind an eye, as her father too - back in Equestria, was a drilling member of the Royal Guard. It was his efforts and hard work that got her placed into such a prestigious school for her magical education.
Sunset approached the shower, but not before she examined her bra size and behind in the mirror, like a typical teenager growing into adulthood. There was always a tinge of guilt from back home that rivaled that of her current life. Her father was so proud, simply ecstatic to hear that his daughter had been chosen to become Celestia's chosen, personal student. The enthusiasm died down quickly, however - as it just meant they no longer had to support their daughter financially and domestically. Soon, he went full active duty. Sunset wondered what he was up to now, with his daughter having ran away to another world entirely. It was not fair, even though there was days her parents did not seem to care, it must have hurt them greatly. At least, Shimmer almost hoped so. But even then, she had too let down her adoptive mother Celestia more than anypony else. She was raised better than this, trained and mentored to better - instead she wanted to take a grab for power.
Shaking her head, wanting to just forget the bad, negative thoughts and discontent in her heart that suffocated her mind as well. The waters from the luke-warm shower cleansed away a layer of dried sweat and worry, yet another symbolic baptism to start her day. A shower used to be her best place to think, to relax. It was less a chore to have one everyday and more a pleasure to have one every morning and every night. Cleanness was next to godliness, the very thing she envied so much of Celestia. On harder days, she would use all the hot water and just sit in the tub, a hot rag on her back - letting the warmth fall through the strands of her hair. A girl her age shouldn't have to harbour so many secrets. Sunset could not do any of this now, not anymore. The thoughts would come to her just as quickly as the water, which is why she kept it luke warm - to encourage her to get out much sooner.
Before long, she was dried off and getting dressed. Her favourite hardcore punk song playing loudly on her radio, by none other than the "Dead Princesses". She bobbed her head lightly to the rhythm of the intro, the soft thumbing of bass notes along with the pounding of drums with shrill guitar harmonics. "Holiday In The Everfree" was a prominent mix of aggressive surf, rockabilly music that was pioneered by the band a few decades prior. Sliding on her boots like a soldier and then sliding her favourite jacket onto her body, Sunset Shimmer was ready to start the day, even if it was one she dreaded. With the notes of the song still pumping in her head, she quickly descended the stairs of her home - Sunset's palm pressed against the cool wall on the way down. Her fingers briefly touched the tassels of a scarf pinned up as decoration, the colours of the Wondercolts team with the words "Giddy up!" printed on it. The pseudo mascot and prominent player Derpy had her face designed on the left side of the fabric.
Sunset's dad was standing awkwardly in the living room, just as Sunset predicted. Something as calm and casual as sitting was obscure to him, even in the relaxation of his own home - he moved with the unmistakable discipline of a soldier. Their hands never in their pockets, their digitized camo uniform pressed and not a single flap looked anything but straight, flat - perfect. Combat boots tied tight and the laces snugly tucked into the sides, the pants puffed up slightly with blousing straps. White Light had only two expressions on their face at all times, complete and utter robotic apathy or a constant sarcastic glare as if they knew a hilarious secret about you that they were about to unleash onto the world at any moment. A natural blonde, their hair was dyed black and allowed to grow in bulk on the top, the sides shaved to remain in regulation - even if it was just barely at times. Their combat patch was the sigil of Royal Guard, proudly below a velcro rocker with his branch of service. "Sunset". He simply said, with the lack of restraint only someone who just recently got off of watch and their duty section hours prior - eyes weary with a constant lack of sleep. It was a considerable weekend.
Shimmer managed a shy wave, a shameful motion for someone's daughter to give them. The distance between the two was more than as child and father, but there was a physical gap at all times. Being a professional gate guard and working door detail in the Canterlot Royal Castle, White Light always maintained a solid 2-3 meters away from everyone - even his wife. Their leg that often carried a holster and firearm sat back for balance as if their retention had trained them to anticipate someone to grab for his gun at any moment. His hands were hardly ever at his sides and almost always floating just above where his duty belt would be - at his lower abdomen. Ready, prepared - feeling empty and light without a proper rifle at the very least, lazily slung into their grasp. "Nice trophy." He mentioned, nodding his head and breaking eye contact for a moment to look over at Sunset's prize from the last Friday for winning the Battle of the Bands.
Shimmer sighed and crossed her arms. She adopted a lot of body language from her father, she used his occasional outbursts of anger or flat out shaming as a model to use with her fellow classmates back at Canterlot High. Assertive, disciplined behavior could recruit just about anyone for anything - just so happened people like Snips and Snails were more attuned to such treatment and blind obedience due to their weaker personalities. But that was the old Sunset, she had to remind herself again. "Well, hopefully if the upcoming Wondercolt game goes well - there will be another trophy on the shelf for you to forget about later." Okay, perhaps those were not the nicest words she could have chosen. But regardless, it got the point across - White Light frowned for a fraction of a millisecond before reverting back to the face of constrained clown trying not to smile at all times. The stationary combat boots finally started a straight, confident path to the kitchen. Sunset's own followed after with a decent ounce of ambition. "So, I am guessing mom will be seeing us there?"
"As always..." Light answered, his finger picking up the key ring from the counter before they were tossed into his opposite hand, that also managed to grip and sip the coffee mug by the door. Everything was kept in his left hand out of habit, just in case he ever had to salute an officer that walked by on base or his watch standing post. His free hand placed a patrol cap on their head that was tucked into his cargo-pocket, all but the non-bent bill having been concealed in it prior. Sunset remembered why they did not wear their hats, or "covers" as they were so called indoors. Centuries ago, in the time of knights, those who used to serve the kingdoms of Equestria would remove their helmets when inside the castles of their superiors out of trust of their safety. Of course, this was only if they were not there to stand guard in the stone walls themselves. The saluting of officers also originated from the times of the original, medieval Equestrian world. When approaching a superior, knights would raise their visor to show their face - thus identifying themselves.
Sad, how of all the things a daughter should be taught by her dad, all she knew was about customs and traditions of a world she will never be apart of. In the true Equestria, her true home - she was an academic of the magical arts - not a soldier. She did not even know what she was destined to be in this world, or what this world's version of her had planned for a future. All that was lost, the Sunset of this existence was gone and now there was only one. Sunset used to sleep softly to the idea of such, but now it was the consequence that kept her awake on some nights. She let her mind question such things again as she got into the car before she knew it - they were already pulling up to Canterlot High. Sunset's eyes scanned the parking lot and scanned the faces they cruised by. Some friendly, some still suspicious of her behaviour. On the bright side, the name Sunset Shimmer was no longer a sin to be roll off of anyone's tongue like venom.
By the newly opened Noodles and Wraps shop at the edge of the parking lot, three familiar figures and now permanent students of the facility stood with piercing stares. The Dazzlings were more than open about their distaste for Sunset, Sonata happy to give her a disapproving thumbs down and Aria presented an intimidating fist. Adagio carried a face of contempt while her eyes somehow remained completely unimpressed with her surroundings. Wearing only jeans and hoodies, it did not seem they were trying to impress anyone at the school. Their makeup and hairdos were still spot on, but their flamboyant wear has been substituted for the more conservative and on the down-low. Sunset resisted the urge to make an angry face back at them, but instead smiled sheepishly and managed a wave. For the most part, it worked - since Sonata was eager to suddenly grin widely and wave like a maniac trying to clean a window. Adagio was quick to slap her hand down, hard enough to make an audible smack that startled Aria and brought a few tears to Sonata's eyes as she pet the top of her wrist.
White Light drove with the grace of someone who got their license several years ago and then never drove ever again. Every simple, civilian action and motion to them were foreign and forced, completely awkward. Sunset could sense some mild anxiety from him as he scanned the parking lot, looking for the appropriate spot - but not one where he would have to get out and walk too far, nor one they required paying attention to the other, juvenile drivers. "Come on, come on, give me a good one..." Finally, they spotted a space and just barely managed to pull into it, jerking the wheel like they were dodging a missile. The tires squeezed against the curb and the vehicle was hardly parallel to the painted lines, but it would have to do. "I think that is your mom's car over there..." he noted, turning off the engine and hopping out - some coffee slipping out of the mug and onto the pavement below as he popped up. White's ears perked at the sound of his daughter's disapproving boot tapping the ground.
"Dad, this is Vice Principle Luna's parking spot." Shimmer announced, pointing to the reservation sign fashioned with a half crescent moon. She was surprised that a soldier, even if part time, who was basically paid to have attention to detail - could miss such a thing. Then again, White Light was selective about everything, especially when he did not to be. They shrugged and carried on, gulping at their coffee for the extra caffeine boost to get them through the meeting. As the two made their way to the door, they quickly removed the lid and dumped the rest of the coffee onto a nearby plant - no one noticing except for his daughter, who got a few splashes of it on her skirt. She bit her tongue because if she felt her teeth part and her mouth open - she knew a few curse words would come flying out.
Starlight Glimmer was just a few hallways down, having finished handing out her fliers to some passing students. Her deep purple hair with light, baby blue highlights was put up in a comfortable, but swirling ponytail. Her bangs rather conservative and well balanced, in thickness and how much they covered. It was a mature haircut, but also managed to have some considerable youth in it still. Her face always had relaxed eyebrows, empty eyes and a deceiving smile. Sunset's mother was deeply political and she carried the banner of her party with her, physically and mentally. Sometimes her husband would go into a mindset before a deployment as if they already were gone. But Starlight was always in a different place, a different realm. It was obvious Sunset got her own natural streaks from their mother, as well as a love for the colour purple. Ironic now, since for awhile - because of Twilight, she hated anything to do with it.
A lot of her fashion had a big influence on the Sunset of this universe. For a mother, she kept herself somewhat hip and youthful. Probably because she knew just how important youth was to the face of a political leader, as well with the motherly overtones thrown in for good measure. Underneath an open, short purple leather jacket was a modest light blue shirt - similar to the streak in her hair. A long, dark grey skirt with lighter rings at the bottom. An equal sign design. Purple belts draped over her hips to form an x shape atop her covered thighs. The thighs themselves, unseen - even the flesh below the knees were mostly covered in her black, purple heeled boots. An equal sign printed on the shin of each. Starlight turned when hearing the distinct steps of her daughter and husband approaching from the hallway at her rear. "Oh, Sunset..." She looked surprised to see her, or rather - something on Shimmer's face. This sort of concern was rare from her. "Your nose is bleeding."
Sunset's eyes widened and quickly, a hand came up to cup the blood that dripped miserably slow from her nose - some specking her chin and bottom lip. Her mind phased out - it was almost like the dream from this morning again. She saw Equestria back home, she saw what it had become in her absence. A father working miserably on active duty, full-time - no home to support, nor a wife and daughter. Her mother, living a life of exclusion - of extroverted madness. In the absence of her daughter, she moved even further into her beliefs. And with that, her claim for power. Images of her first propaganda shows play thoroughly in such a small amount of time, blaming that her daughter's cutiemark is what effectively extinct her from this existence. She used the interdimensional defection of her daughter as a podium to present her message to a sympathetic crowd. "Sunset, dear, are you okay?" Glimmer brought a tissue up to her nose, catching more of the blood. But Sunset could only look down at the red puddle that formed in her palm.
She saw all of them, the consequences. The consequences that were only to grow stronger. Somehow, her toying with realities had a literal bleed through effect. The dreams she has been having, they were not hallucinations - but perhaps cautious advice from strange beings. Sunset blinked hard and soon the visions disappeared, only the sight of her surprisingly concerned mother and a distant father, watching - unimpressed as always. But then, there was something in the corner of her eye. Sunset turned around sharply, the students passing through the halls warped into a pathway of eternal, intensely shimmering light. Like that from the sun. The strange, anthro creatures walked into the bright, white rays - casting only a mystic shadow. Time was still around them, Sunset noticed this when looking back at her parents - a stain in time now, a single frame of the larger, moving picture. Something inside her told to follow the stalkers of time into the light - it could not have been any more difficult than walking into the mirror, she told herself.
But, of course, there will always be the consequences.
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Story itself lost my interest fairly quickly with its long rambling paragraphs and wall of text feel, but that might just be me. The only constructive thing I have to offer is to point out that for some reason, your entire description is bolded, and you should really fix that.
6246665
Hmmm, really seems like I need to completely revamp my writing style. Problem is, I've been writing like this for years and I feel like I try to over explain things a lot due to the fact English is not my first, but rather my fourth language. Thank you for the honest input however.
And yeah, I am entirely unsure how the description was bolded. Fixed.
6246678 Well, from what I picked up on a quick skim, your writing is fairly solid from a grammatical standpoint, and it looks like you're massively into worldbuilding, which is all well and good. The main problem you have is that you need to break your paragraphs down into smaller chunks and scale back on the infodumps and exposition--reveal information to the reader at a slow and steady rate rather than piling giant blocks of unbroken paragraphs full of information on the reader one right after the other. That would be my one piece of advice for you.
6246682
Many thanks. I will definitely take this to heart and in future stories/chapters I will try to orchestrate how I actually lay down the information a lot better... And yes, world building is something I like the most - so I will probably focus more on gradual explanation of such rather than just dumping a bunch of self-made lore and fluff at once.
Luckily, this just inspires me to write more and experiment with how to improve further, so thanks for the input yet again!
6246687 Happy to help. Good luck!
6246695
The next chapter is already unfortunately in a very similar style with a lot of lore being thrown together at once
But I assure, after that - I'll try to administer the advice given
Was "dead princesses" supposed to be the equivalent to "dead kennedys?"
6264416
Yes, exactly
I was originally going to use "Dead Sombras" but decided not to for reason to come...
6264441
"Dead princesses" sounds better in my opinion.
6264495
I agree, I am just glad I was able to slip in a reference to one of my favourite bands at all and pass it off well