...under it before it powdered... First "it" should probably be "her" and the second should be "she" so it would read "Sunset was able to duck under her before she powdered the column into so much dust."
"...hurried around behind another pillar." Delete the around, it feels clunky. Now that it's not midnight and I've had a rest, and you have apparently rewrote these last two chapters, I caught a few more little things. It's still pretty good, though
I rewrote chapters from "A Royal Invitation" through the end, mostly, because I felt like some of the characterization and themes were just plain wrong. Unfortunately for the sake of clarity and editing, doing so on 4 hours of sleep and in a hurry leaves little room for self-editing. Also, my primary pre-reader was asleep. :B
Thanks for your feedback and continued interest in the story! I hope to put out more in the form of a sequel which I am also working on.
...the life fad from the... Should be fade
...under it before it powdered... First "it" should probably be "her" and the second should be "she" so it would read "Sunset was able to duck under her before she powdered the column into so much dust."
"...hurried around behind another pillar." Delete the around, it feels clunky.
Now that it's not midnight and I've had a rest, and you have apparently rewrote these last two chapters, I caught a few more little things. It's still pretty good, though
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I rewrote chapters from "A Royal Invitation" through the end, mostly, because I felt like some of the characterization and themes were just plain wrong. Unfortunately for the sake of clarity and editing, doing so on 4 hours of sleep and in a hurry leaves little room for self-editing. Also, my primary pre-reader was asleep. :B
Thanks for your feedback and continued interest in the story! I hope to put out more in the form of a sequel which I am also working on.
Why do U have the feeling that the song for this fight would be 'Stronger than You'?