• Published 25th Jul 2015
  • 1,011 Views, 24 Comments

Kingdom of Loving: Fear and Loving in the Crystal Empire - AnonymityIsMagic



Twilight Sparkle heads to the mysterious Crystal Empire to attend her brother's wedding, suspicious that something may be going on behind the scenes.

Comments ( 15 )

6245777

Thank you for your feedback. I welcome it, and I hope you enjoy your read. This is my first effort at making and posting a pony fic. It does feature heavily in an alternate continuity where only some things are the same - and what they are will be discovered as the series progresses. I hope to make that more clear in the future.

In regards to this being "clopfic," I think that my intention is to provide something more engaging, but I am an adult. I want to explore adult things. I want to see difficult things tackled through the lens of pastel pony, so I also hope that this is what it accomplishes.

Ok, I just finished it. It's midnight, and I'm pretty tired. But damn this was worth it. A couple errors in the last chapter, nothing too glaring, though. I very well expect a sequel. Preferably with a bit more...sauce, per se. If you know what I mean:trixieshiftleft:

6246055 well sir, or madam as the case may be, I'd say you thoroughly accomplished what you set out to do. It's very well written, with only two or three mistakes in the last chapter, and flows very well. And for your first foray into writing and sharing ponyfic, I'd say that this was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.

6246072

I am still in the process of nitpicking myself to death after I posted this because say what you will about crippling self-doubt, it will make you read and re-read things, but if you have feedback regarding mistakes, plot elements, or other details, please let me know! I will graciously accept criticism beyond glowing praise, and if you mean spelling mistakes, I will sob uncontrollably. And then fix them.

6246085 I literally only saw two errors, in the entire thing. And both were in the last chapter. I think one was you didn't use a plural of something. And the other, I can't even remember, they were extremely minor errors. You could pop over to one of the many editorial groups and get someone a bit more skilled at such things as evaluating works. I didn't feel any plot holes or pacing issues. I do wish the chapters were longer, but that's mostly because I consume literature at an incredible pace. This is really good for your first time, honestly. I've seen worse from much more experienced writers, you should be proud.

Hoping for a ton more! Thank you!

6247829

Aha. Haha. Hahahaaa. You have no idea.

6252029

I'm actually working on Kingdom of Loving part 2 now, in which Twilight really seriously fails to write that letter.

6252197 its cool, ill sweep the next few chapters for any others:pinkiehappy:

crowd bandaged ponies

need an "of" in there.

Twilight once again felt underdressed

why would she feel underdressed if literally everyone else is also not wearing any clothes? someone would feel underdressed if they were to show up in torn jeans and an old t-shirt at a fancy dinner party or at some other similarly ritzy event.
final one,

about to right

that should be write:twilightsmile:

good luck with the sequel!:pinkiehappy:

6252322

Seriously, I swear some of these are autocorrected or something but Gdocs and Chrome are all set to not do that. C_C

Also, the intention there is to imply Twilight is underdressed in scars, because everyone protected her and her insecurity about whether she's valid.

6252352 Ah, I see. That makes a bit more sense then. Thanks for the clarification

good story, I like it a lot, I half expect for twilight to go nightmare near the end to help sunset out, claim that the princess has become more relax about few things.....

this was a rather enjoyable story. their was some grammar issues but that can be easily fixed through Imagination on the readers part. if could rate this story I'll give it an 8 out of 10. I might at that I didn't expect to find the crystal ponies to become naked.

Great Story. hope you have a sequel soon.

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