Equestria ships

by xXConstant_iNSaNiTYXx

The ships have sailed

Twilight's eye twitched in fury as she read the latest issue of the Ponyville express. She groaned and crumbled the paper into a tiny ball, then proceeded to toss said paper towards the corner of the room. The corner that was now teeming with balled up paper, various news papers or magazines from the past couple months. The purple princess face hoofed herself, then let out a deep agitated sigh. She massaged her temples slowly, trying to keep herself calm enough to not fly over to the printing press and blow a gaping hole in their roof with her righteous Alicorn magic, and then convince Celestia to banish the stallion in charge to the moon. The news lately was just story upon story of ludicrous accusations concerning Twilight's personal life. Of course when saying "personal", that means Equestria has gone on a mad shipping frenzy and wouldn't rest until they found out which lucky mare or colt would become the Princess's true love.

"THIS IS BULL!" Twilight yelled. More so to herself then anypony near her. Only there were ponies nearby, her close friends and her companion Spike. Fluttershy had flinched at Twilight's sudden outburst. Dash put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder in an effort to calm her down.

"Don't worry bout it Twilight. We know you and Mayor Mare aren't having an affair." Rainbow Dash snicked a bit at the end of that sentence. She tried her best to hide the smile sneaking its way on her face, but ultimately failed. Certainly not helping the situation. Mayor Mare had only been the newest edition to Princess Twilight Sparkle's list of possible love interests. Courtesy of the good citizens of Equestria. Why Mayor Mare? Well... some photographers had caught Twi shaking the Mayors hoof. Because of course if any two ponies so much as look as each other, it must be love!

"Oh, come on Twi!" Pinkie Smiled. "It's hardly the worse thing in the world." Pinkie ran and got a maginzine from the pile in the corner. The pink mare held it up for all to see. "Remember when they paired you with Trenderhoof? Celestia knows why they did that." Pinkie giggled. Of course Rarity hadn't been to thrilled to hear that Twilight and Trend where Equestria's new "it" couple. So naturally when reminded, Twilight was on the receiving end of an icy glare from the jealous fashionista.

"I don't care if it isn't the worst thing in the world!" Twilight yelled, "You know what would be a billion times better?.." Everyone exchanged somewhat concerned looks. "Not being shipped with everypony I make eye contact with!" Twilights rant was interrupted by a knock at the castle doors. Twilight angrily trotted towards the door.

She swung the door open with such power, StarSwirl himself would be intimidated by the beast on the other side of said door. "What!" Twilight shouted at the Pegasus at her front step.

"I'm sorry," apologized the mail mare. "Is this a bad time?" Derpy hooves was one of the nicest ponies around. Twilight knew anypony that would yell at such a pony was worthy of punishment. Twilight sighed, and shook her head.

"I'm sorry Ms. Hooves. I'm just not having a great day."

Derpy smiled her goofy smile. "Its ok Twilight, happens to all of us." Twilight did appreciate how Derpy always referred to her by name, and not princess. Twilight was never to found of being called by her title.

"Anyways," Derpy continued. "I've got some mail for you. Mostly junk. But you did get your weekly magazine."

Twilight nodded, "Thank you Ms. Hooves, and sorry again for shouting." Twilight said sheepishly. Twilight then got an idea. "Hang on just a second Ms. Hooves." Twilight teleported to the kitchen, grabbed something then teleported back. She smiled and handed Derpy an apology muffin. "Take this I insist." Derpy's smile took up half her face. She gratefully accepted the treat and bid Twilight goodbye. Twilight levitated her mail and made her way back to her friends.

Twilight placed her mail down and continued with her friends. "Well now Twi," Apple Jack smiled, "You ain't got nothing to worry bout. I'm sure this whole thing will blow over in no time." A small hopeful smile came to Twilights face.

"Yeah... yeah you're probably right." It was then that a small giggle came from Rainbow and Pinkie. The group turned to find them reading the magazine Twilight had just received.

"What's so funny?" asked Rarity.

"Nothing." Said the two giggling mares in perfect unison. Twilight took the magazine from them with her magic. "No wait!" Said Pinkie trying to hide her grin. But it was to late. Pinkie and Dash could do nothing but stand there trying to suppress their laughter. Everypony watched quietly as Twilight read the article.

Silence...

This silence did not last... "You've got to be bucking kidding!" Twilight shouted. Rarity covered Spikes ears.

"Twilight darling, language please." Twilight flung the article to the ground. Where the headline read; "Twilight Sparkle x Shining Armor... Could it be true?" While all in the room grew quiet in pure shock, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash were cracking up.

"Its not funny!" The princess snapped at the giggling mares.
'They're shipping me with Shining Armor now?!? He's my brother for pony sakes!?! Not only is he my brother, but he's my married brother!" Twilight wasn't having a great day. " Um... Twilight?" Interrupted Fluttershy. She pointed to the paragraph below where Twilight had just finished reading.

"I think they know he's your married brother. Twilight picked the magazine back up again and read aloud.

"The preppy purple Princess of friendship, is Twilight Sparkle making secret love with her dearest brother Shining Armor?" Twilight stopped reading... "Oh for the love of-..."

"Keep going." Rarity pressed. So with an exaggerated roll of the eyes Twilight continued.

"If not Shining Armor, then who? Could Princess Cadence and Twilight be keeping something from us? Updates on this royal love triangle will continue, however if these questions remain unanswered, the fastest pony alive, Rainbow Dash is always another option for the princess's love."... Once more the room grow silent. Eyes darting between Dash and Twilight, when finally Rarity shrugged.

"I'd ship it."

"Not helping!" Twilight sneered. Apple Jack snickered.

Twilight paced back and forth trying to think of a way to stop this madness. As Equestria's newest princess, of course the news ponies were all over her since her coronation. Interviewing her, questioning her, getting her opinion on current events, stuff like that. But then one day they just sort of stopped. Twilight figured it was because they had run out of things to write about. Things went on normally from then on out. Twilight no longer had a mob of photographers and journalists whenever she left her castle walls, thank Celestia. But now... they seem to have found something interesting to write. Ship Twilight, with, EVERYPONY. It was awful. Precisely why she felt she needed to put an end to the antics. But what could she do to stop it? She wracked her brain. Until... an idea occurred. A small light bulb went off in her mind. It was a logical plan. One that did have some chance of success. Of course there was no guarantee. It's very difficult to just make shippers stop. But she was determined.

"Spike!" Twilight called.

"Yes?" Spike answered.

"Take a letter, tell the princess I need a favor." Spike nodded. Twilight motioned for her friends to join her. They all exited the castle and made their way down the dirt roads of Ponyville.

A middle aged paper pony handed Twilight a news paper. Then turned to deliver the paper to somepony else. The headline read; "Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, is she seeing a certain lord of chaos? Many speculate that their Princess could be kissing up on none other then Discord." Twilight groaned. Pinkie bounced up to Twilight and giggled.

"It's ok Twilight, we know you aren't getting all kissy wissy with Discord." Pinkie then hugged the frazzled mare in an effort to cheer her up. Twilight accepted the offer and hugged back. The hug was interrupted by some "awww's" from passerby, then Twilight turned to see to ponies with camera's running when they realized they'd been spotted. No doubt they caught the pink pony's loving embrace on camera. Twilight sighed.

"I hope this plan works."

To be continued...

Author's Note:

Hello xXConstant_iNSaNiTYXx here.
This is going to be a very short story. Pretty sure its only gonna be two chapters long.
I'm probably going to finish this before continuing
What a Pinkamena Surprise. Because this one is so short.
But this is for all you shippers out there.
Don't worry, I'm a shipper too
PinkieDash is my OTP
Thank you for reading.

Comments

[The almighty bread god]

SHIPPERS DESTROY LIVES.

[Scygnus]

Twilights eye twitched in furry as she read the latest issue of the Ponyville express.

media2.giphy.com/media/cUzKuBIOZqkXC/200_s.gif

Also note Twilight's name should have an apostrophe. Like that one.

Can't wait to see what Twilight's plan is. And for it to go horribly wrong.

[xXConstant_iNSaNiTYXx]

6016080
I always welcome constructive criticism, thank you for pointing those out.
And I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's an idea that I've wanted to get around to doing for a while.
But I've been a bit busy with another story I'm currently working on.
But I'll be sure to fix those little mistakes.

[xXConstant_iNSaNiTYXx]

6016080
Ok, I think I got all the mistakes
Glad to have you as a stalker FOLLOWER

[PinkFluffyUnicorn]

TWIXIE FO EVAH!!!