Foreigner

by Cerebreta

Prologue: Conclusion?

Darkness.

Darkness everywhere.

The darkness was everywhere, it had consumed everything.

She fought, the weapon in her hands smoking.

But it was not enough.

Supports and struts began to crumple and fall.

The building was collapsing.

No! It couldn't end like this.

But it was going to.

She looked around herself, at the tearful faces of those she cared about, struggling against the darkness.

She saw her loved one get thrown back, a trail of blood arcing through the air.

She saw the young ones' faces in the bunkers behind her, looking at her, their last hope.

The saw the darkness laugh, a weapon turning back on itself.

She saw her mother beckoning her to follow, away from this world.

She cried, and stabbed herself.

Forgive me.

She watched as the world around her began to swirl, light radiating from her stomach wound.

She watched the disbelieving faces of those she loved, those who had their hopes crushed.

Had their hope give up.

The faces of the children.

She cried.

Author's Note:

Hello my dear, dear readers,

This is the first story that I'm posting on pretty much anything, and its probably an experimental story than anything. So do expect really awkward moments and scenes.

HOWEVER, for the benefit and improvement of myself, I would appreciate any feedback whatsoever, especially if its honest. (Yes, go full Applejack on me. I am a stubborn person.)

I have reviewed this story and made changes. Many, many, changes. Though it wouldn't affect you guys that much, (Only first chapter), I'm actually changing the other 4 chapters as well. So... ya.

In the off-chance that you like my story enough to wish to see your Original Characters in it, just leave it in the comments below! Just state the name and personality, and I will put it into the story if I find that it fits.

Also, check out my friend UnicodingUnicorn here: https://www.fimfiction.net/user/UnicodingUnicorn
He's a better story-writer than I probably ever will be, so check him and his Oneshots out. Seriously, do it.

Until then, goodbye, and thumbs up for pony-loving Cerebrates!

Comments

[Typist Gray]

This was not the best starter. A dreamy haze like this works best when it is immediately followed by a return to reality and an establishment of the character/setting.