Not Dead Yet

by Nebula Star

Chapter 7: A Cure for the Hiccups

Not Dead Yet
By Nebula Star

Chapter 7: A cure for the hiccups.
***

“Look out!” Rarity called out in warning.

Rainbow barely had time to dive out of the way as a spell scorched the air where she'd been.

“Oh, I missed. Terribly sorry about that, let me try again.” The unicorn int said with the refined speech of Canterlot high society.

“Is that you, Jet Set?” Rarity called raising her head to peer over the barrier. “Oh dear, I'm afraid the past few years have not treated you well, darling,” she said spotting the half rotted stallion among the seething mass of zombies below.

“Well I'll be. That you, Rarity, and still alive?”

“Indeed, darling. Still hanging on. It would seem you didn't get out of Canterlot in time, however.”

“Yes; terrible business that. Why don't you come down and we'll discuss it over tea. We could even make a night of it.”

“I'm afraid I'll have to decline, darling; I do so enjoy living,” Rarity told him.

“Oh, well. Then, have at thee!”

Rarity had to duck as he cast a bolt of energy at her, then a rainbow blur slammed into the zombified high class pony, sending him careening across the road.

“Trouble with your ex lover?”

Surprised, Rarity looked over a Sweetie Belle who had come up beside her. “Whatever do you mean 'lover', Sweetie?”

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. “Don't give me that, Rarity. Even though he's half rotten I still recognize him and he's definitely one of the stallions I caught you with.”

Rarity blushed. “Yes, well, ah...” She cast about searching for something to change the subject, seeing the other two crusaders as well. “What are you girls doing over here anyway; weren't you holding another section of the wall.”

“We're out of explosives, so the background ponies took over.” Apple Bloom told her.

“The what?”

“The background ponies;” Sweetie Belle told her. “Lyra's stalker club.”

Rarity blinked. “What?”

“It doesn't matter, we have an idea to bring down one of the towers on top of them, but first we need to make sure everypony is out of the way.”

“Bring down one of the towers!?” Rarity took a glance over the barricade.

“The one at the end of the block on the right side,” Sweetie Belle clarified. “They already evacuated it didn't they?”

“Yes, but how do you plan on bringing it down if you're out of explosives?” Rarity asked, confused.

“We'll have to use one of the cannons.”

Rarity glanced toward where the cannons were along the barricade and the fighting going on among them. “But, Sweetie, the cannons are overrun!”

“We'll have to retake the cannons, then use them to bring down the tower,” Sweetie amended.

“But do you think just the three of you can retake the cannons?”

“We'll have to gather reinforcements, retake the cannons, then use them to bring down the tower.”

“Who will you take for your reinforcements?”

“Rarity! We'll figure it out!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. “We just need you to make sure our forces know to stay out of the way.”

“Oh, very well darling, good luck.”

Sweetie nodded and galloped off with the other crusaders.

“Rainbow, darling?” Rarity called up to her pegasus friend even as she dropped down on a zombie pegasi like an anvil, knocking the undead equine from the sky.

“What's up, Rares?” She asked then did a quick loop to avoid a bolt of magic.

“Could you get Fluttershy and the Captain for me? It seems the Crusaders have an idea and we need to make sure our forces are ready for it.”

Rainbow smirked. “The crusaders have an idea huh? Last time one of them had an idea they almost dropped a building on us by accident.”

“Well this time they intend to bring a building down on purpose.”

~~~

“Dinky!” Apple Bloom called out as she and the other crusaders passed the black clad filly. “Come with us, we need to retake the cannons!”

Dinky threw a glare over at where the cannons were and the foals fighting there. “Why? Just so Pipsqueak can keep playing pirate?” She asked bitterly. “He's not even a real pirate! He's never even been sailing! I at least have actual training as a ninja!”

“Now's not the time for relationship issues!” Scootaloo shouted as she ran past. “If we retake the cannons, we have a plan to flatten half their army!”

“Otherwise we're going to be overrun!” Sweetie Belle finished.

“Fine, but I'm not doing it for Pip.” Dinky told them as she chased after them.

The fillies and colts of Pipsqueak's cannon crew weren't much further. They'd been forced back from around the cannons and were desperately trying to hold the line to keep them from getting behind the barricade and flanking their forces.

“Pip! What's the situation here?” Apple Bloom asked as she skidded to a stop near the young colt.

“It's a right bloomin' mess is what it is!” Pipsqueak shouted back, cutting down another mindless zombie as he did. “They're piled high enough that they can climb right up on the bloody wall now!” He glanced over his shoulder at them, though he refused to look the black clad filly in the eye. “We're just lucky none of the ints have thought to turn the cannons on us!”

“It's just a matter of time before they do though. We need to retake them!”

“Argh, what do ya think I'm trying to do, lass! There's just too many for mi crew to cut down. We need reinforcements, but don't you even think about using your explosives near mi bloody cannons!”

“We're all out anyway.” Sweetie Belle told him.

“Well then draw some iron and help us dispatch these bloody corpses!”

“Um, none of us ever learned how to wield a sword...” Scootaloo admitted, a little embarrassed.

“Well, other than fencing...” Apple Bloom amended. “But Ah wasn't very good.”

“Then what bloody good are ya!?”

Dinky rolled her eyes and leaped past Pip in a blur. A couple flashes of light on steal and two zombies collapsed almost immediately.

“Well that's bloody brilliant! You want us to retake the cannons, but you can't help!?” Pip yelled, completely ignoring Dinky.

“We have a plan to help, but we need the cannons!”

“Well if you want the cannons, we're going to need a lot more firepower than a single bloody ninja!” Pip growled, slashing at another of the endless undead horde. It was clear he didn't like having a ninja help him.

Sweetie Belle's eyes went wide. “I have an idea!” Then with a flash of light, she was gone.

The other four stared for a moment at where she'd been standing.

“She can teleport!?” Apple Bloom blurted out finally. “Since when can Sweetie teleport!?”

“I don't know, she's never done it before,” Scootaloo said with a shrug. “Sweetie just keeps learning new magic. I don't know how she does it, or when she finds time to study. She's been doing stuff like this ever since she started learning magic, though; remember when she first learned the invisibility spell? I heard Twilight say she's somewhat of a prodigy."

Apple bloom stared a moment more in shock, then slowly smirked. “That's kinda hot!”

There was another flash, and Sweetie Belle was back, but she wasn't alone.

“Hey crusaders!” Spike said cheerfully. “Sweetie said you needed some help.”

Spike had grown a fair amount in the past few years; he was taller than the average pony now, standing upright, though his body mass was still a bit less.

Apple Bloom's eyes went wide. “This is your idea!?” Even as she shouted, Spike took notice of the nearby battle.

“Z-z-zombie ponies!” A jet of flame and a metal baseball bat was in his hands. “AAAAAAAHHHH!”

Sweetie just grinned as Spike proceeded to pound the nearby zombies into oblivion. “Yep. Get 'em, Spike!”

~~~

“How long is this going to take?” Applejack asked, watching Zecora stir the boiling potion. After losing all their pursuers, they'd managed to fly to one of the safe-houses they'd set up throughout the city and holed up there to brew the cure.

“A little longer is needed, I fear; but do not worry, the end of this scourge is near,” Zecora told her.

Applejack sighed. “Ah just want this over with. Ah'm worried about what's going on with the others.”

“We all are, Applejack,” Twilight told her gently. “But the best way we can help them now is to finish this cure and launch it.”

“Ah know, Ah know.”Applejack fell silent and for a few moments the only sound was the soft crackling of the fire heating Zecora's cauldron.

Twilight watched the zebra as she stirred the cure she was brewing, noticing the determination in her eyes, and something else. Something that was driving her. Zecora had been pushing for this plan to get the ingredients for her cure since even before they'd had a chance to test the formula. Twilight hadn't thought much of it at the time, but now she realized that her zebra friend had been almost desperate to help...

“Zecora, I was thinking; you've been pushing for us to get the life bloom for this cure since before we even tested it. You've always seemed certain it would work. Why?” Twilight watched Zecora carefully, wondering how she would respond.

Zecora winced slightly, continuing to stir for a few moments before answering. “What herb was needed was easy to tell; for life's bloom is always the counter to death's bell.”

Twilight's eyes narrowed. “What does this have to do with death's bell?” She asked. Death's bell was another herb, she knew, one that was usually poisonous but could be used in certain potions. “Zecora, do you know something about this zombie plague that you're not telling us?”

She didn't answer at first, just continuing to stir the bubbling brew, without taking her eyes off her work. “While trying to make a potion, the hiccups to cure; I'm afraid I created a brew, most unpure. This vile potion I did try to dispose; but from all it touched, the undead rose.”

“WHAT!?” Applejack exclaimed while Twilight and Luna just stared.

“Zecora, are you saying, you created the zombie plague!? While trying to make a cure for the hiccups!?” Twilight nearly shouted.

Zecora flinched and lowered her eyes even more. “This is true, my failed potion caused the zombie flu.”

“You're telling me, that you caused the deaths of millions of ponies including many of our friends and families, not to mention Princess Celestia, and the destruction of nearly all of Equestria, because you messed up when trying to make a cure for the hiccups!?”

“... Yes.”

“... just finish the damned cure.”

~~~

The crusaders and the cannon crew watched in morbid fascination as Spike continued pounding zombie after zombie into oblivion. Even Dinky was only standing and watching now as Spike cleared the area around the cannons of undead. Sweetie Belle just watched with a smug grin.

“So... that actually worked...” Apple Bloom said more than a little surprised. She turned to Sweetie Belle. “Think you can get Spike to stop when he's done clearing the cannon's though?”

“Why stop him. So long as we keep him up here, let's just let him kill zombies to his heart's content.”

“Keeping him up here is the problem. You know how he gets when he see's zombies...”

Sweetie grinned. “Don't worry girls, I've got this.” She said then shouted. “Hey, Spike!” Spike paused from chasing after another zombie and looked back where they were. “If you stay up here on the barricade and only kill the zombies up here, I'll tell Rarity how helpful you've been and I'm sure she'll reward you!”

“Really!?”

“Yep just stay up here, okay!?”

“Okay!”

Scootaloo groaned. “After what you told us about your sister...” She shivered. “I really don't want to think about how she'll reward him.”

Sweetie winced at the thought. “At least I'll be less likely to walk in on them this time...”

Apple Bloom looked a little ill as well.

“What?” Pip asked, noticing their reactions.

Dinky just rolled her eyes, declining to answer. “The canons are mostly clear now,” she pointed out instead.

“Right.” Apple Bloom nodded. “Pip, we just need one canon, get your crew back on the rest.”

“Argh, you heard her mi maties! Get your sorry carcasses back to your posts! Rumble, Featherweight, you guard the crusaders while they use your canon.”

“Aye captain!” Rumble saluted. “This way, crusaders!” He said and took off, Featherweight right alongside as they led the way to their canon, the crusaders right on their tails.

“Alright, yeah, this is perfect,” Scootaloo said as they reached the canon. Stepping up right next to it she took a moment to estimate the range to her target. “Looks like about two-hundred-thirty meters range, with a four meter drop in elevation...”

“You'll need at least a double pack of powder for that far,” Rumble told them and featherweight immediately got started on it.

“Yep.” Apple Bloom agreed as she looked for one of her explosive shells that she'd made for the artillery teams. “Ah, here we go. This should be about a class four yield,” she said, grabbing one of the shells.

“Oh my! Look what we have here! Even more little cuties!”

Sweetie groaned as they all heard the undead princess's voice and looked up to find her hovering overhead.

“Distract her while we load the canon!” Apple Bloom hissed urgently. Sweetie and Scootaloo nodded and took up a defensive position, Dinky and Rumble at their sides.

“Despite how much trouble you've been, I simply can't be mad at you fillies. And now you've got even more friends! All those cute little tushies, and all but one of them virgins! It's a tragedy!” Cadenza said dramatically.

“Yeah, yeah, we all know about Spike and my sister!” Sweetie growled.

“What about Spike and your sister?” Rumble asked curiously, but Cadenza interupted before Sweetie could answer.

“Oh, I wasn't talking about the dragon...” Cadenza said with a smirk.

Scootaloo blinked. “But... the rest of us are all less than fifteen years old! Who...” She trailed off noticing Rumble was blushing bright red.

“Rumble?”

He grinned nervously. “Uh... you remember when I got my cutie mark, how I told you it represented, um... physical training and endurance?” Scootaloo nodded, glancing back at his cutie mark; two overlapping hearts, one red, one pink. Her eyes went wide. “Yeah, that wasn't exactly true.”

“You mean...”

“My actual talent is... well... sex.”

“You mean you... But you were only twelve when you got your cutie mark!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“Yeah... my neighbor, Cloudchaser came over one day. My parents weren't home, and, well... She said I was incredible...”

Scootaloo stared at him a moment more, the undead princess and the rest of the battle utterly forgotten. “So your talent is really good sex?”

His face was completely crimson by then. “Yeah.”

Scootaloo took a moment to let that sink in for a moment before sidling up closer to the colt. “...you seeing anyone?”

Rumble blushed but before he could answer, the rotting princess flew in closer.

“Yes, such a wonderful talent! I can't wait to experience it for myself!” Cadenza called lustfully.

“Urgh...” Rumble looked about ready to throw up at the thought.

“Oh, don't worry; you'll enjoy it, every last hour of it... I promise.”

That did it, and Rumble dashed for the edge of the barricade to empty his stomach over the side.

“Of course I'll have to make time for the rest of your cute little tushies!” Cadenza said turning back to the rest of them.

“I'd rather blow myself up than let my rotting corpse be part of your harem!” Sweetie shouted, horn glowing dangerously. Finally she released the spell she'd been charging.

… And Cadenza swerved to the side, dodging it with ease.

“OH, COME ON!”

“Silly filly, I underestimated your magic once, don't think I'll do it again.” Cadenza taunted, her voice sickeningly sweet.

“Scootaloo! It's ready!” Apple Bloom called from back by the cannon. Scootaloo turned to dash back so she could line up the shot but stopped short, eyes wide as a blast of magic hit the ground right in front of her.

“Oh know you don't! You and your friends seem to have a knack for causing trouble! Whatever you've got planned stops right here!” Cadenza dove in for the attack, horn glowing and sights set on the cannon where Apple Bloom, Rumble and Featherweight stood.

“Look out!” Sweetie called out in warning, charging a spell but knowing it was too late, she'd likely hurt her friends if she cast a spell at that close of target.

A rainbow blur slammed into Cadenza's side, sending her tumbling down the side of the barricade.

“You stay away from the kids, you disgusting pedophile!” Rainbow Dash shouted, hovering protectively over them.

“Oh, how cute!” Cadenza taunted as she climbed back to her hooves. “Are you protecting the fillies' maiden virtue until they're old enough for you?”

“What!? No! Celestia dammit, why does everyone assume I'm into fillies!?” Rainbow exclaimed.

“Is somepony still in the closet?” Cadenza asked with a smirk.

“No! I'm serious, I'm not into fillies!”

“It's alright, nopony is going to judge you. Be honest with yourself.”

Rainbow glared at her. “I am being honest with myself!”

“The sooner you move past this denial, the sooner you can get on with enjoying life.”

“...I, you know what? Just shut up.” Rainbow dove at her faster than anypony could blink and spun at the last second, delivering a powerful kick to the alicorn's barrel, sending her sprawling once more.

Meanwhile Scootaloo had reached the cannon.

“Alright, a slight wind to the southwest... range two-hundred-thirty-seven, Z-negative four-point-three.” Scootaloo said as she sighted the shot.

“You'll need about a twelve degree incline on the barrel for that range. Fourth notch.” Sweetie told her.

Scootaloo made the adjustment. “Alright, here goes...” She pulled the ignition cord. The cannon bucked with a thunderous rapport, sending the shell sailing across the battlefield... to explode against a pale pink shield.

“Dammit, it's Rotting Armor!” Apple Bloom growled, spotting the white stallion galloping toward the barricade to assist his wife.

“Reload!” Sweetie urged.

“But he'll just block it again,” Apple Bloom pointed out.

“Oh no he wont,” Featherweight said, then flew over to where Pip was giving orders.

A moment later Pip raised his sword. “Argh! All cannons! Focus yer fire on Rotting Armor!” He shouted loud enough to be heard across the barricade. Immediately all the fillies and colts began adjusting their aim for the white unicorn.

“FIRE!”

As one, the cannons roared and Rotting Armor was forced to put a shield around himself as the battlefield around him was torn to shreds.

“No! My love bunny!” Cadenza exclaimed seeing Rotting Armor in danger. Rainbow took advantage of the distraction to get in another good hit that sent her tumbling down the barricade once more

“Hurry! I don't know how much longer I can hold Cadenza!” She shouted back at the Crusaders then dove into the fray once more.

“It's loaded!” Rumble shouted and Scootaloo began lining up the shot once more.

“Wait until the next volley.” Apple Bloom advised. “Fire when old rot face is too busy shielding himself.”

Pip raised his sword. “FIRE!”

Scootaloo pulled the ignition cord even as the rest of the cannons roared, the sound almost lost in the thunderous cannon fire. They all watched as the one cannonball went off toward a different target than the rest. It was a perfect shot. The shell slammed into one of the exposed supports of the compromised tower and exploded.

It seemed to happen in slow motion. The tower began to tilt out over the zombie filled road as one by one, more of the supports gave under the pressure. The walls cracked, and debris began raining down as the tower leaned further and further; picking up speed as it fell. Then it began to twist, falling more towards the barricade.

“SHINY!” Cadenza screamed, abandoning her fight with Rainbow and flying to save her stallion.

“Uh, Scoots... I thought you said you wouldn't bring the building down on us?” Apple Bloom said nervously as the tower seemed to loom overhead.

Scootaloo grinned. “I didn't say it wouldn't be close.”

The tower's structure completely collapsed and the building began to crumble. The rumble of its collapse was the only sound on the suddenly quite battlefield. Then some of the zombies began to scream, running from the danger, but it was already far too late. Hundreds disappeared beneath the debris, while hundreds more, possibly even thousands, tried desperately to get out from under the falling skyscraper.

The ground shook as thousands of thousands of tons of concrete and steel smashed to the ground, burying the zombie army all the way to the very base of the barricade. A billowing cloud of dust and smoke filled the street, hiding the rest from view, though they could still hear and feel the rumble.

Finally the air grew quite save for the hacking and coughing of the ponies on the barricade.

“Damn Scoots, -cough- next time could you warn us how close it's going to be? I was -cough- a little worried -cough- for a sec there.”

“Yeah, -cough- didn't think of the dust, either. -cough- sorry about that, Bloom.”

“Hey, don't worry about it; -cough- you have to have just taken out at least half the zombie army,” Apple Bloom told her.

“What about -cough- Cadaver Cadenza and Rotting Armor?”

“I think they might have gotten away.” Sweetie Belle said, her voice slightly muffled by the bandana she'd somehow acquired and tied around her snout. “Here, put these on.” She said holding out two more bandanas. They both gratefully took them and started putting them on. “Anyway, I saw Cadenza grab Armor and fly away, but they may be back soon, so we should get somewhere more secure.”

Scootaloo nodded in agreement. “Rumble, we're falling back, you and the rest of the cannon crews probably should too.”

Rumble nodded, covering his mouth with his wings and breathing through the feathers. “Not much we can do in this kind of visibility anyway.”

“Oh yeah, and where's Spike?”

Sweetie shrugged, then cupped her hooves around her mouth. “HEY SPIKE, WE'RE HEADING BACK NOW!”

“You girls don't mess around.” Dinky said, joining them. She had her mask back on as well. “I think we're clear for now.”

“Ah sure hope so; Ah wouldn't want to run into a pack of zombies in this low of visibility.”

“Oh, but I'd sure like to ram into you...”

The four fillies and two colts froze at the sound of that voice as two tall figures emerged from the dust cloud.

“You fillies have been quite the troublemakers. I'm going to enjoy punishing you.” Cadenza said as she loomed over them, Rotting Armor by her side. “Now, who wants their spankings first?”

~~~

“I am finished now, with this potent brew; I thank you for helping me to see this through,” Zecora said as she picked up a flask.

Twilight's eyes narrowed. “This doesn't even come close to making up for creating the zombie plague in the first place, even if it was an accident,” she growled. “You're going to be working off your debt to Equestria for the rest of your life!”

Zecora lowered her eyes and nodded sadly as she filled the flask with the potion. When it was full, she capped it and held it out to Twilight.

Twilight took it in her magic and secured it in one of her saddlebags. “Alright, now we just have to wait for Pinkie to get back...”

“How can I get back when I'm already here?”

Twilight jumped, spinning around, wings flaring in alarm. “Pinkie! Don't do that!”

“Do what?” She asked looking truly confused.

“Nevermind. We've got the cure; now where did you set up the device?”

“The what device?” Pinkie asked grinning.

“I'm not saying it,” Twilight deadpanned.

“But I don't know what device you mean.”

“Pinkie.”

“Yes, Twilight?”

“Where did you set it up.”

“Where did I set what up?”

“Don't you dare!” Twilight growled. “Tell me where it is right now!”

“But I don't know what you're talking about.” Pinkie smiled innocently.

Twilight grabbed pinkie in her magic. “Pinkie! I'm warning you. Tell me where the device is right now!”

“But you haven't told me what device you mean.”

“THE GOLLY DEVICE!” Twilight shouted finally.

“Oh, it's right over there.” Pinkie said pointing toward the window, while everyone else burst out laughing.

Twilight dropped Pinkie and went over to the window to look, ignoring the others' laughter. “Where?”

“Over there,” she pointed out the window.

“Pinkie, I don't...” Then she saw it. An enormous neon sign in the shape of an arrow pointing to the top of one of the tallest towers in the city labeled: Golly Device. It was halfway across the city, and in the middle of some of the worst of the zombie territory.

“PINKIE! Why in Celestia's name did you set it up there!? Its made to launch the projectile from anywhere! You could have set it up on a random street corner, or at our base, or at any one of our safe-houses! Why would you set it up on top of the tallest tower, halfway across the city, in the middle of Zombie Territory, with a sign for all to see!?”

“Because it's more exciting this way!” Pinkie said with a grin.

Twilight stared at her for a moment, mouth agape. One eye twitched. Then twitched again. Finally something snapped. “Whatever. I'm going to go save what's left of the world.” She glanced around at everyone. “Don't die.” She said, then blasted a hole in the wall and jumped out, flying toward the tower.