Strange Yet Wonderful

by Bionic Slime

Ch. 23 The Door

Chapter 23: The Door

It’s been one day.

One full day since Rarity left that note for Spike.

Both knew what had to be done, however, both were too scared to find out what truth lay beneath the edge of the abyss, the abyss that had consumed their hearts and minds for what felt like an eternity.

Spike was in love with Rarity. He knew it, she knew it, everyone knew it, and yet, not a soul wished to speak of it. It was the public secret that too many knew and too few did anything about. Every pony seemed to have their own opinion on the matter, even if they wouldn’t admit it. Some believed this was a case of puppy love, some believed this was a unique love that deserved to be nurtured, while others condemned it and sought every vindication on why the pair could not and should not ever work as a couple.

Spike had been unanimously accepted and welcomed by every pony as one of their own. No one treated him any different no matter what task or situation came up, no one denied him any right…except this one it seemed.

The young dragon had many questions in his life, but no question has ever plagued him as relentlessly and mercilessly as this one has: Why? Why is this one area of his adopted lifestyle the one people raise the most eyebrows at? He ate with ponies, befriended ponies, learned from ponies, lived with ponies, worked with ponies, partied with ponies…so why is loving one beyond understanding? How could anyone tell you who you can and cannot love?

“Why is mine the only one that seems wrong?” Spike muttered to himself.

His emerald eyes remained dark and shallow, glued to the crumpled paper with those 4 words; those turbulent, inescapable words: we need to talk. This was the moment he had waited forever since he met Rarity; to have a heart to heart with her about them. And yet, the thought of speaking to her about this terrified him beyond comprehension. It was like those 4 words were the keys that would elevate him to Heaven, or descend him down into an infinite, empty darkness.

“If every pony truly accepts me as one of their own,” Spike stared gloomily down at his claws; flexing them idly in the sunlight beaming from the windows. “Then why do I feel like an alien in my own home?” He looked to his feet next, embracing the silent solitude like a security blanket soaked in ice water.

“What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say to her? This is insane. I’ve wanted to talk about this stuff with Rarity ever since that day we nearly fell to our deaths. Why has it taken us so long to get to this point, and now that were here, do I even want to be here? I’m so scared of her saying no that I…that I…no, I can’t think like that now. I’m so close now, so close” he thought to himself.

The warm rays from the sun brought no comfort, no heat; just more unforgiving coldness. Spike wrapped his arms around himself in a futile effort to comfort his aching heart. He felt so petrified, like he was standing still and the rest of the world was moving on without him. The dragon’s eyes achingly sought a friendly face or smile from the window to connect with, some tether that made him feel like he was still a living, feeling and breathing part of this world.

“I feel so alone…like a statue in a world of flesh and fur. I thought I was one of them, I thought I was truly one of them. I mean, they accepted me in every possible way; like I truly belonged here with them. But then…why does this one thing make me feel like I don’t belong? They’ve given me nothing but love, unconditional love. Why is this love off limits, why is my love with her off limits?”

A creak from the staircase caused his green ears to twitch.

“Spike? Is everything all right? You’ve been staring out that window for a long time now,” Twilight asked; a twinge of motherly concern in her voice. Spike turned his attention to his adopted parent. He smiled in reply, but it was a sad and weary one. Twilight didn’t feel the least bit eased by it. “Did you get enough sleep last night? Did you skip breakfast or not eat enough today?”

He laughed softly at the bombardment of her concerns. “I got plenty of sleep and I didn’t miss any meals, so don’t worry about that,” he said. The dragon turned towards the window once more. He took a deep breath, looked at the crumpled paper and slowly nodded.

“You sure you’re okay? You look like you’re ready to take on the world or something,” Twilight commented.

“Heh, you’re not far off,” he faced his mother with a newly acquired surge of pride and confidence. Twilight was always the brightest light shining for him; even in the deepest darkness. “Today’s the day, today’s the day I confess my undying love to Rarity and ask her to be my special some pony.”

“YOU WHAT?!?” Twilight shrieked violently.

“I mean it Twilight. I’ve waited long enough, now is the time to stop acting like a little kid and start acting like a man and tell Rarity how I really feel about her,” Spike said affirmatively.

“B-b-b-but are you sure? I mean, you don’t want to rush into this. This could like-like backfire big time Spike. Everything about your relationship would change, it would all be different, and if you do this and-and it doesn’t work then things will never be the same, EVER!” she said breathlessly.

“Gee, thanks for your vote of confidence,” he said with a bitter scowl. The dragon stomped over to the scrolls and quills cabinet. He stuffed a few quills and scrolls into a teal back pack, his tail wound tightly in anger. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you about the note” he grumbled under his breath.

“Wait, what note?” she blurted out.

Spike refused to answer. He continued busying himself by packing some snacks and soda cans. Twilight was about to ask him a second time until she looked towards the window Spike had been standing at. A crumpled paper ball laid beneath the window. She levitated it to her face and quickly read it. The mare’s eyes slowly widened as it dawned on her: this was most likely the reason Spike and Rarity had been so distant and quiet on the train ride home. This explained everything.

“Spike, please, I didn’t mean to discourage you from doing this,” she said tenderly. Spike continued to ignore his mother’s pleas. She was forced to magically hold him in place just to get him to look at her. Twilight quickly removed her possessive aura. “I’m just concerned, okay? This isn’t just about you, it’s also about one of our closest and best friends, and the last thing I want to see is either of you get hurt,” she playfully ruffled his green scales with her hoof, “specially not my number one little guy.”

“I appreciate the concern Twilight, really I do, but the whole ‘little guy’ thing is part of the problem. I’m not so little that I don’t understand what’s going on. I know the risks, I know this is a big gamble but I’ve gotta do this,” he pleaded insistently.

“I know you’re not some little kid Spike. Believe me, I know better than any pony else how much you’ve grown,” Twilight said assuredly.

“Then you also know that this isn’t some phase that’s going away. This is something that’s real, it feels real, I feel it in my heart and I know that everyone else says that what I am feeling is wrong…but it feels right to me,” Spike said; pouring emotion into every word. The young dragon spoke as if his heart was a damn; split open and spilling out all of its contents in one, overwhelming force that couldn’t be stopped.

Twilight had that look of parental concern on her face again. She was about to say something to dissuade him or warn him of his path, but Spike beat her to the punch.

“And you of all ponies know what it’s like to believe something is true, even when no pony else will believe you,” he stated.

Spike had stunned the purple mare into a ghostly silence. In a flash, she felt like Spike had aged 10 years right before her eyes. He was right. She knew exactly what it was like to believe something when the whole world is against you. No one believed her Nightmare Moon was returning when she first came to Ponyville, and no one listened to her when Chrysalis impersonated Cadence at her brother’s wedding. Both times she needed others to listen. Both times she was ignored until it was too late. She can’t put that feeling on Spike, she just couldn’t.

“Spike doesn’t have anyone in his corner,” she thought to herself. “All this time, every pony has either dismissed his feelings for Rarity or outright ignored them…something I’m guilty of as well. This is one of the most important moments in Spike’s life and I can’t be the one to abandon him, I promised him I would never do that; that I would always be here for him. He needs to do this…and he needs me to be there for him.”

Twilight looked at Spike fondly, finding it difficult to believe her little number one assistant had grown so much since she first took him in. The mare slowly pulled Spike into a hug. He resisted initially but quickly warmed into the embrace, rubbing his face against her belly fur. “I suppose I always knew this day was destined to come. I guess I just thought you needed to be a little older and more mature before you took this big step,” she separated from the hug, “but the truth is; I just didn’t notice that you’ve already grown older and more mature.”

Spike smiled sheepishly. Despite how embarrassed Twilight’s motherly affections made him, nothing made him prouder than hearing her speak so highly of him.

“Do what you have to do Spike, you have my blessing. Whatever happens though, I want you to know that I’m proud of the dragon you’ve become, and you should be proud of yourself for finally taking this big step forward. Rarity would be lucky to have you as her special some pony,” she giggled sweetly, “special some dragon I mean.”

No words could fully express the gratitude in Spike’s heart. He felt like he could cry, his smile quivering with overflowing emotions. Unable to thank Twilight as she rightfully deserved, he hugged her once more; burying his face into her purple fur.

The two stood there, silent but content; enjoying the love they shared and the moment in all its peaceful bliss.

Spike felt much better knowing Twilight was supporting him, it was the first time he felt that someone understood how important this meant to him. He gathered up his things and headed out. Twilight wished him well and said she’d stay up waiting for him. She was eager to hear Rarity’s answer; whether she rejects his feelings or returns them.

The young dragon headed for the hilltop that looked down upon Ponyville. He planned to meet Rarity at this very location, but he arrived early to rehearse what he’d say to Rarity by writing it down on the scrolls he brought in his pack.

“All right Spike, this is the moment you’ve been waiting for. No more holding back and no more interruptions. Today is the day you tell her everything,” he mused to himself; dipping his quill into a jar of ink. The purple drake quickly began scribbling away his heart’s inner most desires.

---

Rarity was frozen, drifting across a sea of uncertainty with no beginning and no end. She couldn’t remember how she had gotten here or how she couldn’t have seen the signs all this time. It was as clear to her as the sparkling red fire ruby that lay before her sapphire blues.

Rarity stared at her vanity mirror. The fire ruby necklace dangling off a hook on the wall next to the mirror, it swung side to side like an apple colored pendulum. She hasn’t stopped staring at it since she pulled it out an hour ago. “What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I going to-ARGHHH,” Rarity slammed her face onto her vanity desk, “no matter how many times I ask myself or how long I look at that accursed-beautiful fire ruby, I just don’t know what to do!”

The snow white unicorn told no one about what happened between her and Spike in Canterlot, or any details of their “relationship” actually. Not even Sweetie Bell knows what’s been developing. She feared telling anyone else would make it real, that it would confirm that she has become something…more to Spike, and even worse, that he has become something more to her. It was no secret Spike loved her, even Fluttershy’s animals knew he adored every speck of fur on her body. But her answer has always been the greatest secret, one that was tearing her apart from the inside.

“I have no one to blame but myself for this. I knew of Spike’s affections, I’ve known for quite some time now and foolishly thought nothing of it. I care for him too, of course, but I don’t know if that level of care can ever be what he wants it to be,” she thought to herself. “I’ve been silent about my true feelings for him for so long; I can’t tell if the excuses I made not to love him are even real.”

Rarity stared at her mirror once more. She felt like she didn’t recognize herself anymore, like this was some stranger from a faraway land who was staring back at her. This wasn’t the woman who swore she’d made it big in Manehattan, this isn’t the country mare who became the pony every pony wanted to know. No, this was some pony else.

“I’m just another heart waiting to be broken, or to do the breaking,” she whispered mournfully to herself. That answer only made her feel even more alone and alien looking. “Is it wrong to ignore his feelings? Is it wrong to want to fall in love with him? I can’t tell anymore…I can’t tell what love is supposed to be.”

A flood of handsome faces came flooding back into the fashionista’s weary mind. She remembered them, every boy and colt she wasted her heart and dreams on. Prince Blueblood, Trender Hoof, Slick Charmer; those names clung to her soul like parasitic leeches. She thought she knew them; just like she thought she knew what love was.

“All my life I’ve read storybooks, fairy tales; dreaming of my gallant prince to trot up to me in a suit of shining armor. He would be brave, handsome, noble, but above all else…he would treat me like a lady,” she sighed tragically. The weight of her dating failures crushed her like a tidal wave. “Anyone of them would have been simply divine to have by my side as a doting, loving special some pony. But they were all fakes, empty, hollowed husks that left me feeling just as vacant. I wanted one of them to love me like Spike loves me. It would have been so much easier if they didn’t turn out the way they did, or even if Spike was a pony instead of a-”

Rarity shook her head and mentally cursed herself for thinking such thoughts. “I should be ashamed of myself, thinking such horrible, shallow thoughts about Spike! Such a selfish mare! Here I am, wasting my time on such selfish, prattling thoughts when Spikey Wikey’s fragile heart hangs in the balance.”

“What am I really trying to protect here? My heart from further disappointment, his heart from further neglect, or my image from every pony outside of Ponyville?” she questioned soulfully. It was after all, Toplofty’s offer for business expansion that stirred these thoughts in the first place. “If I were to take this job and were to enter a committed relationship with Spike, every pony in Equestria would be watching us, but most importantly…judging us…judging him.”

Spike was an anomaly to many ponies; though only those that lived outside of Ponyville. Living here in this town, Spike has been blessed with infinite acceptance. It’s hard to imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to shower such a sweet dragon with love after meeting him. But she knew not every pony felt the same way. Ponies could be just as fickle as fashion trends, love you one minute and then discard you the next.

“My life, my career, my dreams all put me in the public eye. Any relationship with Spike would force him to be exposed to that same level of publicity.”

The fashionista headed down to the kitchen and fixed herself a cup of tea. She sipped it with a loud slurp; too rattled by her inner conflicts to worry about propriety’s sake at the moment. Opal looked slightly shocked at her owner’s un-lady like behavior. She ceased playing with her ball and tilted her head curiously at the distraught unicorn.

“Let’s say for the sake of argument I do have feelings for Spike,” she mused aloud. Opal looked around to see if her owner was speaking to her. “If we become a couple and I work with Toplofty, I would have to travel around Equestria and do business with many fashion designers and business ponies. I’d be gone a long time and Spike would be unable to assist Twilight with her duties if he comes with me,” she rubbed her chin ponderingly, “But then again…I imagine he would leave Ponyville with me if it came down to it and wouldn’t have any problem so long as he was by my side.”

She stared hauntingly into her cup of tea. The ripples formed ghostly images of Spike and herself; walking hoof and claw down some street. The two looked so happy, like they were made for each other. Rarity smiled weakly.

“Such a wonderful thing, dreams. You experience total freedom to be with whoever you want and do whatever you want. No judgment, no hatred, nothing but your purest desires. Nothing else matters but what you want,” she said longingly. Her aura circled the cup and shook it gently. The ripples washed away the images of her and Spike. Faces of other ponies, laughing and taunting appeared in the swirling liquid. Rarity frowned. “That’s why they’re dreams though, they’re not reality. The reality is that Spike and I would never work out. No one would let us be together unless we stayed here forever,” Rarity dumped the cup’s contents into the sink; having lost her appetite for it. “As much as I love Ponyville, I have dreams beyond these borders and it would be unforgivable if I put Spike through more pain like I did in Canterlot.”

Rarity levitated a few balls of yarn towards Opal’s paws and refilled her dishes with plenty of water and cat food. The mare nodded informatively to her precious feline and exited the boutique.

She had made her decision.

“This is the right decision, the right decision,” she repeated affirmatively. Rarity headed towards her meeting spot with Spike. “It’s time we had a real heart to heart, Spike.”

The mare felt a mix of anxiety and adrenaline pumping throughout her sorely conflicted heart. On the one hand, she wished to confront Spike about this matter and get it over with and move on with their lives, but on the other hand, she was anxious to begin as she still wasn’t sure what to say to Spike or if she truly wanted to end things with him. Her head was pounding with uncertainty. Every time she thought about being with Spike or not being with him, a thousand scenarios would pop up; tearing her mind and heart in too many opposing directions. There were just as many positive outcomes as there were negative ones. No discernible answer came to her, no matter how long she mulled it over.

Sounds of giggling and laughter pulled Rarity out of her inner struggling. She noticed two familiar females sitting at a café table; smiling adoringly at each other. One was a mint green unicorn with golden eyes and whispery white hair, the other was a cream colored Earth pony with pink and dark blue, bouncy locks. Rarity recognized them as Lyra and Bon-Bon.

“H-h-hey would you stop doing that,” Lyra squeaked out; trying to contain her rising laughter. “Were in p-p-public you know.” The mint green mare was turning red in the face. Lyra placed her hoof on her lips, trying to hold back her giggle fit but failed miserably. One of her legs thumped like a rabbit’s foot under the table.

Bon-Bon smiled alluringly at her lovely girlfriend. The Earth pony just couldn’t resist teasing her. Lyra’s smile was the light of her day, and her laughter; the music to her ears. “What, I can’t show my special some pony some affection just cause were at a café?” she smirked. Bon-Bon continued to rub her leg teasingly along Lyra’s; playing footsie with her under the table. “Not my fault those lovely legs of yours are so ticklish,” she purred; kissing Lyra on her nose tenderly.

A firm “AHEM” from Rarity jarred the googly eye gazing ponies out of their starry stupor. Rarity had gone quite rosy in the cheeks as well; the couple’s flirtations caused quite a stir in the fashionista’s disjointed heart.

“Oh! Hey there Rarity, nice to see you,” Lyra beamed cheerfully. Bon-Bon groaned under her breath, visibly bothered Rarity interrupted their date. Lyra’s sweet nature left her oblivious to Bon-Bon’s sourness. “Isn’t it a beautiful day today?”

“Why yes, yes it is. I’m terribly sorry to interrupt you two on you’re eh…snuggle time as it were, but I’m afraid I’m in dire need of your assistance. It’s a rather urgent and personal matter. I wouldn’t have interrupted otherwise,” Rarity said anxiously. She was clearly uncomfortable discussing the matter, but knew only a friend’s fresh perspective could help ease her mind before stress overwhelms her. “Would you two be able to keep a secret?”

“We can help for sure Rarity, I’m an excellent secret keeper,” Bon-Bon proudly stated; almost instantly.

Lyra huffed bitterly at her mare friend’s boasting. She grunted and turned her head away from Bon-Bon; snootily turning her nose up. “HA…yeah she’s good at keeping secrets all right, too good if you ask me,” Bon-Bon attempted to protest but was quickly interjected by Lyra. “She’s so good; she can even fool you for years into thinking she’s told you everything there is to know about her, after the two of you SWORE time and time again to share EVERYTHING with each other!”

“Ugh, are you still hung up on that? I told you we would talk about it later,” Bon-Bon grumbled. Lyra continued to ignore her girlfriend’s glowering glare.

“When IS later? Huh? Sweetie Drops? Every time I try and bring it up, you’re like: Lyra I’ve got a headache, Lyra I’m defrosting the fridge, Lyra focus on the food or the house is going to burn down,” Lyra said; mockingly imitating Bon-Bon’s voice.

The two mares continued to bicker like an old married couple; inseparable and insufferable, as usual. Rarity rubbed her aching temples and tried to calm herself.

“EXCUSE ME” Rarity shrieked. The sudden outburst stopped Lyra and Bon-Bon dead in their tracks, their anger instantly deflating. “I haven’t the faintest idea what this is all about, and no offense; but I don’t really care. You two are the only mares who are capable of helping me with this eh…unusual…relationship problem,” Rarity said meekly.

Lyra and Bon-Bon started to understand Rarity’s problem a bit more clearly. The couple was at first confused why Rarity sought their help and not from her usual 5 friends, but now they were beginning to understand why Rarity said they were the “only mares” who could understand what she meant by the “unusual relationship” line.

Lyra and Bon-Bon looked at each other before looking towards Rarity. Her face riddled with billowing anxiety. “This is about you and Spike, isn’t it?” Bon-Bon asked bluntly.

At first, Rarity adamantly denied this accusation. Her cheeks flushed with shades of pink and red. Her words blurred together into a rambling, nonsensical mess of denials and false claims of it being about someone else and not Spike. Eventually, she caved and told the truth. “Sigh, am I really that obvious? Have I sunken so lowly in the dating world that no one believes I could land any other potential date other than Spike?” she asked; dramatically raising her hoof to her closed eyes.

“Well it’s just every pony in Ponyville sees Spike hanging around you, doing every little thing you ask of him,” Lyra casually explained. Rarity should have surmised this. This is a little town after all; everyone knows everyone and sees everything.

“But why do you make it sound like that’s a bad thing? Just because we assumed you and Spike are talking about relationship stuff, that doesn’t mean that you’ve hit rock bottom or anything,” Bon-Bon added.

Rarity bit her lip nervously. She hadn’t realized her words had such a negative connotation to them.

“Is that how you see Spike, hitting rock bottom?”

“Of course not…well maybe a little…I mean err…Yes…NO I mean ugh….I don’t know what I mean. I don’t have the first clue what I’m doing. I don’t even know if I like Spike that way, or if I really do and I’m just psyching myself out because of what this could mean for us,” Rarity whimpered.

Lyra and Bon-Bon politely asked the fashionista to clarify what she meant.

“It’s as you said, every pony has seen us together and knows Spike is attracted to me. We’ve played back and forth, flirting and bantering here and there but that’s all I thought it was…playful banter. I figured he’d grow out of this puppy love stage and just give up on me,” Rarity sniffled loudly, “but he hasn’t and now I…I think he might actually tell me he’s in love with me.”

“Is that what you mean when you said what it could mean for the two of you?” Lyra asked.

Rarity slowly nodded. “I’m so mixed up with my own feelings, I don’t have the foggiest how I really feel or what I’m going to tell him. If I tell him I don’t love him, then I’ll break his heart and I’ll be forever tormented on whether or not I made that choice out of fear or if I truly don’t love him that way. But if I tell him I do love him and I later find out I was wrong and I only did it to avoid hurting him, I’ll resent it for the rest of my life and will most likely break up with him. By that point, the love and happiness in his heart will have grown tremendously, and thus, the pain he’ll experience will be a thousand times more devastating.”

Lyra and Bon-Bon looked at each other once more, a twinge of sadness painting both of their faces. The loving couple wasn’t sure what to say to Rarity. This was a delicate, sensitive matter that involved the hearts of two of their friends/neighbors. They knew that any advice they give could contribute towards making or breaking a future relationship. Neither Lyra nor Bon-Bon wanted to be in this difficult position, but neither of them wanted to see Rarity go through it alone either.

Something had to be done.

“What in Celestia’s name am I going to do?” Rarity said desperately.

Nothing but silence answered the pleading mare. Finally, after a few minutes of contemplation, Lyra decided to offer her insight into Rarity’s dating dilemma.

“When I was interested in pursuing a relationship with Bon-Bon, I was a little nervous at first,” Lyra confessed tenderly. She placed a comforting hoof over Bon-Bon’s. The gesture eased any potential confusion in the Earth pony’s mind, she smiled in return. “I knew that being with her would raise a few eyebrows. In a way, I understand where some of your concerns are coming from. Those same fears tormented me; kept me up nights too,” Lyra said.

“So what did you do?” Rarity asked.

“There’s this thing my mom taught me. It’s sort of like a mental preparation trick, I used it to help me decide on Bon-Bon,” Rarity nodded; listening inquisitively. Lyra stuck her tongue out and hummed. She tapped her chin idly, trying to find the best way to phrase it. “I want you to close your eyes first. Now, I want you to picture a door in your mind, a closed; locked door. Now, imagine everything you’ve ever wanted or desired in your true love. Every quality, every personality quirk; everything that your heart has been yearning for exists behind that door,” Lyra explained, “I want you to imagine that your one true heart’s desire is waiting for you behind that door.”

“Okay, I-I think I’ve got it.”

“Good, now I want you approach the door but don’t open it. Make sure your mind is focused on the door and only the door. Nothing else exists in this world, no other ponies or animals or anyone else. There is only you and the door. Once you’re absolutely sure that there is nothing in your mind but this door, I want you to lean in close and peek through the keyhole. Tell me what you see,” Lyra instructed.

Bon-Bon watched in awe at her partner’s impressive mental exercise. She had no idea Lyra went through so much preparation over her. Knowing this only made the special agent pony feel even more drawn to the minty unicorn.

Rarity’s eyes remained tightly shut. She winced and moved her head as if actually looking at a door and bending down to peer into the keyhole. Rarity jerked her head back violently and gasped in shock. Bon-Bon and Lyra were both slightly alarmed.

“ACK! I saw…I saw” Rarity wheezed; gasping for air. She was huffing and puffing like she just ran 10 miles.

“What Rarity, what did you see? What did you see through the keyhole?”

“I saw…I saw…Spike. It was him, everywhere. It doesn’t matter what angle I looked or how many times I rubbed my eyes, it was Spike…it’s always been Spike,” she said weepily.

“Isn’t that a good thing? I mean, now you finally got your answer,” Bon-Bon suggested. She was slightly confused and was hoping some pony could explain why Rarity sounded like she was about to cry.

“I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not, that’s the problem!” Rarity blurted out. The fashionista leapt and grabbed Lyra by her shoulders. “Please, you’ve got to tell me what this means. Does this mean I love Spike? Does this mean I HAVE to love Spike? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ALL OF THIS?!?” she screamed. Rarity shook Lyra vigorously, as if shaking her will clarify what path she must take.

Bon-Bon attempted to pry Rarity off her girlfriend, but Lyra raised a hoof and halted her from trying. Lyra used her aura and forcefully calmed Rarity down and pushed her off of her body. “Whoa-whoa, just calm down for a second Rarity; I’m not saying you have to do anything,” she said soothingly.

“B-b-b-b-but I thought that this m-m-meant I-”

“There’s a reason I told you to picture a door. The door represents the final threshold you must cross in order to reach what your heart desires. But just because this is what exists behind the door, that doesn’t mean you have to open it,” Lyra calmly stated. Rarity tilted her head in confusion. She didn’t understand where Lyra was going with this. “Looking through the keyhole gave you a glimpse of what you could accept. The door will always be standing there, waiting there…waiting to be opened. You know what’s beyond that door but it is up to you if you want to open it, or close it and lock it up forever,” she clarified. Rarity slowly started to understand, her head nodding in agreement. “It’s your door Rarity, your heart, your key. There’s no right or wrong here…just you and the door.”

Rarity felt like her mind just emptied out all of her stress and confusion. It was like Lyra’s words were fan blades, whirring together and blowing away the fog that clouded her thoughts. Finally having the clarity she sought, Rarity refused to put off her talk with Spike for one second longer. She thanked Lyra kindly for her wonderful advice and headed towards that tree, that fateful tree where a young dragon waited for her.

One hour later…

Spike sighed heavily; leaning against the tree and staring solemnly at the approaching twilight sky beneath the branches and leaves. A sea of crumpled up letters and scrolls surrounded the young dragon like a moat. Hours and hours and hours had passed but Spike could not put down the right words onto a single scrap of paper.

“No matter how hard I try or how I word it, it’s still not enough. I guess I’ll have to do it the old fashioned way,” Spike grumbled miserably. He stared down at his most recently crumpled letter. He groaned and kicked it into the pile; staring once more into the twilight sky, “A lot of good that’s done me in the past.”

The sound of approaching hoof steps caused his fin like ears to twitch. She was here, finally after all this time; she was here. Spike leapt to his feet and quickly incinerated all of his mangled love letters into nothingness. He knew Celestia would probably be miffed at him for dumping all those on her head, but that was a problem for Future Spike to worry about.

There was only one problem he had to worry about now.

“Rarity” he said breathlessly; smiling apprehensively as she approached him. She looked just as uncertain as he did.

The pair stared at each other. Worlds worth of words to discuss, but neither one had the heart to speak first. For Spike, this was the moment he’s been working up to since the first day he met Rarity. For her, this was the moment where she would decide if she opens the door…or closes it forever.

“Hello there Spike,” she said softly.

“H-h-h-h-hey there R-r-r-rarity,” he said; idly scratching the back of his head. Despite having hours of prep time, Spike oddly found himself tongue tied at the moment. “Um…I uh…b-b-beautiful weather we’re having, don’t you think?”

Rarity remained emotionless, blank; coldly immune to Spike’s ill attempt at conversation.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way Spike, but we both know I didn’t ask you up here to talk about the weather. There’s a lot we have to discuss and, quite honestly, I don’t wish to delay it any further,” she said with a dash of firmness, “we’ve put this talk off long enough.”

“Heh…yeah…I guess it has been a long time coming,” Spike sheepishly replied. He was a little offset by the word “we’ve.” The dragon never thought of himself as being the one that avoided discussing this, but he shook it off and focused on the task at hand. “Thanks for finally doing this, Rarity.”

“Before we get to the heart of the matter, I wanted to say how deeply sorry I am for the horrible way I treated you back at Canterlot,” she said achingly. Spike blinked in surprise. He hadn’t expected her to bring that up, he figured they were just going to have “the talk” and that was it. “I got too caught up in my planning with Toplofty, but that’s no excuse for how I treated you. You were put into a large amount of pain because of me and for that I am infinitely sorry,” she lowered her head; as if bowing in shame. “That is not the way a lady treats her friends.”

Again, another cringe that rattled Spike, that word; friend. That word was part of the problem and the primary reason why he spent all day thinking of what to say to her today.

“Eh it’s fine Rarity, don’t worry about it. I appreciate the gesture but the fact you’re finally agreeing to talk to me about all of…well…us, it means more to me than any apology,” Spike said sincerely.

The fashionista sighed heavily. There was no more prolonging this, no more excuses or breaks to mull it over; the time was now. She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath and looked at her young dragon friend.

He watched her with surging dedication in his emerald eyes. Spike looked like he never wanted to take his eyes off of her. The whole world could explode from a meteor crashing into Ponyville this instant, and Spike still wouldn’t avert his gaze.

“As you and I both know Spike, you’ve become quite…drawn to me ever since you and Twilight stepped hoof in Ponyville. Since we met, you’ve become one of my closest, dearest friends. I’ve shared things with you I’ve never shared with others. I trusted you with my work, my shop and you’ve never let me down once,” she said. Spike’s eyes shined just a few shades brighter after hearing that. A small smile formed, though Rarity didn’t have the heart to return the grin. “But I’m afraid that close friends is all that we were ever meant to be, I’m sorry Spike,” his smile faded almost instantly, “but I’m afraid that there is no us…it’s just not in the cards.”

“Not in the…the what? What are you talking about? How can you say that after-after all we’ve been through, after all that we’ve done together?” Spike asked; slightly more desperate sounding now. He felt queasy; overwhelmed by a wave of confusion he couldn’t shake. “Why are you saying all this stuff now? What made you want to have the talk now of all times?”

“Toplofty has offered me a generous position within his company. If I sign with him, he’ll be able to mass produce my designs across Equestria, put my name, my line; my face in hotels and fashions chains everywhere. It could be the big break I’ve been waiting for all my life,” she explained.

“B-b-but why does that mean you have to rush your decision about the two of us to right now? What does his job offer have to do with us?”

Rarity bit her lip. She knew Spike would probe her further for answers, but still she had ill hopes he wouldn’t so she could avoid going into details. If she accepted this job and acknowledged any potential feelings for the dragon, he’d go with her and be exposed to more ridicule and judgment like he did in Canterlot…and he’d do it too; just because it’s what she wanted. She couldn’t do that to him, not to her beloved Spikey Wikey.

“B-b-b-because I…I uh…I would be gone a long, long time away from Ponyville. And if I say yes, I wouldn’t want to leave any lingering doubt in your mind for so long,” she explained; fumbling nervously. She knew that was a lie. Toplofty never specifically said she’d be away from Ponyville for very long. She had no idea what the travel plans were or if there were any or how any of this was going to work, IF she signed.

“Doubt? Now wait just a minute who said anything about having any doubts?” he said; accusingly. Rarity prepared herself, mentally preparing to defend her position better this time. “I’ve always known how I’ve felt about you. You may have doubted this or never wanted to talk about it, but there is definitely no doubt in my mind how I feel. This is something I’ve wanted to get off my chest for a long, long time now,” he declared.

“S-s-s-spike n-n-no, please, let’s just leave things as they are. You’re a good friend, one of my best friends,” Rarity said; shifting nervously.

“Rarity, I’ve known there was something special about you the moment I first saw you. No pony has ever made me feel the way you make me feel. I need to-”

“NO, Spike, PLEASE stop! Don’t ruin what we have, don’t ruin our precious friendship,” Rarity pleaded; agonizingly.

“Don’t you see? There’s so much more than friendship that I feel for you, so much more I’ve felt in my head and in my heart. I can’t stand dancing around this issue any longer. We keep walking on egg shells and it’s driving me crazy. I just…I just gotta say it,” he said.

Rarity got down on all fours. She shoved her forelegs into her ears; desperately trying to block out the words she knew were coming. “Spike PLEASE…DON’T SAY IT!” she shrieked to him, echoing throughout the heavens.

“Rarity…I love you.”

Winds silent and empty as the grave chilled their fur and scales, rustling the grass and the fluttering leaves from the tree. The dragon and the pony felt frozen in time. Rarity knew she couldn’t hide from it, couldn’t avoid it; not anymore. She lowered her hooves from her ears and opened her eyes.

“Oh Spike,” she whispered solemnly, “am I really what you seek? Is it really me?” The question slightly shocked Spike. He looked to her as if she just spoke some alien dialect to him. Rarity stood back up, staring down the purple drake.

“W-w-w-w-ell yeah, of course you are. Why else do you think I said it?” Spike asked; assuming the answer was fairly obvious.

“Because you just don’t understand. The thing is Spike, I…I…don’t love you and you can’t love me,” Spike’s heart jumped into his throat. He felt his eyes pooling up small specks of tear drops. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I’m sorry Spike but it’s the truth. You can’t love me because you don’t understand what love is. You’re still too young, you’ll understand what true love is one day but not today,” Rarity firmly insisted.

He looked sad at first, but only at first. Spike’s stance became rigid, tensed up; like his pain was flowing over into a newfound anger. The dragon looked at Rarity with a waspish glare. She was slightly surprised at this cross look. She’d never seen him look like this in all the time she’s spent with him.

“Just stop it…please…stop talking to me like I’m some stupid kid who doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I may not be an expert on love but I do know what it is,” he barked defensively. He felt insulted by this passive swipe of ageism. “I’m not some silly little foal whose too naïve to understand things. I’m not some cutie mark crusader you know.”

“But Spike dear, you’re still a baby-”

“DRAGON, I’m a baby dragon NOT a baby pony,” he snapped forcefully. Rarity was becoming more shocked by his abrasive attitude. This was touching a nerve far more raw than she had ever expected, she could see it burning in his emerald eyes. “They are not the same thing and you know it! I already told you, I’m not like your sister or any of the other kids in their school. I’ve got more experience and maturity than any pony gives me credit for.”

“Age is still an issue Spike, though you’re right; I shouldn’t have inferred you were like my sister or her friends.”

“You don’t think I don’t know that? I just wanted to talk about what I feel has been going on between us before we even got into the pony/dragon age difference thing. Is that okay?”

Rarity nodded. She knew tempers would flare during this discussion, but she never intended to intentionally antagonize him like this. “I didn’t mean to put it like that Spike, believe me when I say I’m sorry,” she said a bit more comfortingly, “but age differences aside, I want you to listen to me when I tell you that you only think you know what love is. It’s very different from the real thing.”

“That isn’t fair! You make it sound like my thoughts are wrong or something. You’re not even giving me a chance, your just-just telling me what my thoughts mean even though you’re not the one thinking them. I thought that’s why you asked me to talk; to give us a chance to say everything we’ve wanted to say,” he bit his lip; feeling like he was floating adrift at sea without a soul for miles to hear him.

“All right then, there’s something I’ve always wanted to hear you say Spike. I want you to tell me what love is. How do you know what you feel with me is in fact, love? I want to hear you tell me in your own words,” Rarity ordered briskly.

Spike was thrown by her request. She didn’t sound like she had any faith in his convictions, yet she’s asking for him to tell her what love means to him all the same. He rubbed his head uneasily. He was confused and caught off guard at the one moment he needed to be collected the most.

“W-w-w-what? What are you talking about? You just told me you believe I only think I know what love is and that I’m in love with you. What’s the point in telling you if you don’t believe me?” he asked; slightly more hostile than before.

“I’m as love struck as they come Spike. Trust me, I know a thing or two about true love,” Rarity said matter-of-factly.

She towered over him, looking down with those sapphire blues that Spike still thought looked as gorgeous as the stars in the sky; despite present circumstances. He flexed his claws, curling and uncurling them as he mentally prepped himself. This was his chance to prove to Rarity, to all ponies that his body may be young and soft, but his mind is as wise and sharp as Twilight’s.

“You’re doing just fine Rarity. Things got a little rough but this is the perfect recovery. Once Spike explains himself out loud and realizes he doesn’t really know what love is, he’ll understand his feelings are misguided and he’ll agree that this can’t work between us. He’ll see for himself. I never wanted to hurt him in the first place, I just figured that if I hurt him now and end it then he’d be able to get over the pain of losing me much quicker than if he stayed with me and traveled around Equestria; where he’d experience far worse pain for far longer. This makes things much easier…for both of us,” the wary fashionista thought to herself.

The young dragon was ready. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, exhaled and then opened his eyes. His chest tensed slightly. Spike was going to tell it all, everything he’s held in about his precious snow white princess would be revealed. Finally, she was going to listen.

“You asked me, how I know if what I feel for you is actually love, right?” he asked.

She nodded in confirmation.

“Well, when I’m with you; everything just feels…better. Air feels fresher, flowers smell sweeter, food tastes better, gems look more sparkly; everything I do with you feels way more fun and-and happier. It’s like there’s this glow, this nonstop heavenly bubble that just improves everything around you and I…I feel it; all the time when I’m with you. It’s a fire that is always burning and it’s always warm, always comforting. I love doing everything with you, and I mean everything. We could be scraping gum off of benches, going to the dentist or-or scrubbing mud out of a wedding dress…and I’d love every single minute of it…because…I’d be doing it with you.”

“Boring things aren’t boring when I’m doing them with you. I find myself thinking about you, thinking about what you’re up to and wondering how your day is going, like all the time. I just love helping you, somehow someway. I feel um…what’s the word…sunny inside when I’m able to cheer you up, yeah that sounds right. And when you’re sad, I just want to make you laugh so I can see that wonderful smile of yours and help you feel as sunny on the inside as I am. I love the smell of your perfume, I love handing you fabrics, I even love going to the spa with you, heh. I would have never even tried that if it wasn’t for you recommending it. You’re more than just a pretty face to me; you’re the definition of fun itself. I feel like I’m in a better place thanks to you. Wow…I uh…said a lot more than I thought I did. Well…I guess that’s what love is to me, because that’s what I feel when I’m around you…Rarity,” he said.

Rarity felt her resolve shatter like glass. Her eyes were glossy, sparkling; bursting at the seams with affection that could not be contained. She was so certain Spike didn’t understand love, she was absolutely sure of it. Hearing his words now however, they crippled her excuses, her defenses and left her completely vulnerable to his overwhelming love for her.

“That was just…beautiful…divine…the most wonderful, touching, heartfelt thing I’ve ever heard. In all my years, I’ve never felt or heard such love; unconditional love from such a sweet, kind and loving source,” she whispered to herself.

Rarity wanted to say all of that out loud, she wanted to shout it out to Spike and let him know how immeasurably moved she was by his heavenly words.

Unfortunately, her brain spoke first.

“NO, NO, you can’t let this change your mind! No matter how beautiful his words were, this is going to make his pain more unbearable in the end. You know this won’t last, it can’t last; your future will fail if it does. You know how fickle the fashion world is. They’ll judge him, scrutinize him, harass and humiliate him until he hates himself for being born a dragon. You can’t let him go through that, this has to stop NOW! Everyone will tell you it’s wrong, everyone will tell you this is perverse. You know this love is WRONG, returning it will only bring him pain,” Rarity thought to herself.

“Rarity um y-y-your mumbling, I can’t-can’t make out what you’re saying,” Spike confessed.

“Oh, right, sorry about that Spike,” she adjusted herself; struggling to regain her composure. Spike looked to her with anxious eyes. He was no doubt eager to hear her response to his declaration, a fact that only made Rarity feel increasingly uneasy. “Yes well…that um was uh…a v-v-v-very nice and cute interpretation of love Spike but,” she started to say. The hopeful light in his eyes started to fizzle out. “But I am afraid it’s just as I thought…you don’t understand what love is…not really. Your words are sweet but your notion of love just too cliché and…and,” her lips trembled, not wanting to finish her statement but forcing herself to, “and it’s childish.”

Spike clutched his scaly chest. He knew it wasn’t physically possible but, he swore he actually felt his heart breaking in two. The world around him stopped cold. Everything felt grey, flavorless and empty. Tears fell from his eyes but he couldn’t tell for he appeared to have lost all feeling in his limbs.

“Childish…c-c-c-childish…you think what I just…that my love is…is childish?” he sputtered. Spike repeated the word “childish” over and over until the word sounded like nonsense to him. He stumbled, having trouble standing on his legs.

Rarity fought back her own tears. She didn’t want him to see or know how truly moved she was by his words, she had to make this decision feel like it was the right one. “Spike, I am so sorry. I know this hurts, I know it feels like the worst thing in the world right now but trust me when I tell you it will get better,” she extended a hoof to comfort the young drake, “this is the right decision.”

Spike jerked his claw away from Rarity’s hoof. He looked at her as if she was a poisonous snake, instantly recoiling for fear of her venomous touch. His eyes looked cold and unforgiving. She had never seen such empty pools of ice in his emerald eyes before, it was almost frightening.

“Trust you? Me, trust YOU?!? SERIOUSLY?!?” he screamed furiously. The unicorn skittered back, meeping in surprise. Spike looked just as furious as Rainbow did when Tank had to hibernate. “Why in the wide world of Equestria would I trust you about love? What do YOU know about it anyway?!” he snapped; tears dripping down his flared cheeks.

“I’m older for one thing, and I have actually dated for another,” she said defensively. She was slowly finding her voice to prepare a rebuttal. “I’ve dreamed about falling in love my whole life. I’ve prepared myself to meet my one true prince ever since I first learned about boys, so don’t act like I don’t know what I’m talking about when it comes to love,” she said.

“You mean like that rich jerk wad you bent over backwards for, Prince Blue Blood? Or that sexist creep; Slick Charmer, the same one I defended your name over? And what about Trenderhoof, the guy you literally changed who you are for; just to impress him. Not to mention that you had me support your attempts to catch his attention, even knowing how I felt about you. Is that what you call knowing what true love is like?” Spike argued fiercely.

Rarity’s face turned a bitter shade of red. She no longer felt cautious or sensitive towards Spike’s feelings, now her own anger had taken control of her voice. “How DARE you throw them in my face! A lady’s past is her business and hers alone, you have no right using my heart’s old wounds as your personal ammunition,” she countered.

“There was nothing private about any of it, you told me everything about them; remember?” he added sternly. Rarity bit her lip; mildly annoyed at this development. “You spent the whole carriage ride home from the Gala telling me what a louse Blueblood was, and in case you already forgot, I was with you every step of the way when you were trying to win over Trenderhoof. You tell me everything Rarity, everything! We share everything together because I thought we were closer than friends, I thought that meant something to you…it certainly meant something to me,” he bitterly conceded.

“If you were so against me and Trenderhoof dating then why did you help me?”

“Because that’s what I do, that’s what I always do! He was the only thing that made you happy at that moment, so I pushed all of my love for you deep down into the pit of my stomach and helped you as best I could. I’d rather see you be happy than miserable…even if it’s not with me.”

“Then why can’t you accept my declination of your feelings now? Can’t you see how all of this toing and froing is making me miserable?” she pleaded dramatically.

“That’s because uh…look, I don’t know how else to say this so I’m just going to come out and say it,” he paused to take a mighty breath. Spike prepared himself for the damaging words that were about to be unleashed. He looked at her, stern; fiery resolve burning in his eyes. “I don’t believe you when you said you don’t love me.”

Rarity whipped her head back in shock, her purple curls thrashing in the cold air. The fashionista felt like she had been shot by a cannonball. She almost didn’t know how to respond.

“I’m not trying to call you a liar or anything Rarity, but no pony knows your body language like I do. You hesitated when you told me I didn’t know what love is. You sounded unsure, like there was something you were holding back or wanted to say but didn’t,” he calmly stated. Spike approached Rarity but she inched back ever so slightly. His anger and irritation had dissipated; calmness and comfort echoed in his youthful voice. “I didn’t come here to fight. I just wanted to tell you how I really feel and that’s all I’m asking you to do: tell me how you really feel.”

“Well, you’re certainly doing a very good job of starting one!” she huffed indignantly.

The snow white pony began to pace back and forth; huffing and grunting several words under her breath that were far from lady like. Spike noticed her purple tail was rigid and stiff; it looked like a purple cobra that was poised to strike.

“UGH I just want to scream! You can be so frustrating, you know that Spike?!? She scowled; still pacing back and forth. He was about to answer but the hot tempered mare curtly cut him off before he could even open his mouth. “I come here and tell you my honest answer and you completely ignore me and claim I don’t mean what I’m saying…of all the…GRR!” Spike flinched as Rarity abruptly stopped pacing and glared her sapphire blue daggers at him.

“Rarity please, I didn’t mean it that way.”

“For some pony who claims to have changed and matured, you’re certainly doing a splendid job of acting like the most immature person I have ever known!”

“Wait-what? What are you talking about? I have changed, I have matured.”

“Ha, I’m sure the ponies at the Grand Equestria Pony summit would disagree.”

Rarity’s scoffing tone jabbed at Spike, like knives digging under his skin. The shame he felt after that debacle buried him like an avalanche of punishing snow. He hated it when others brought it up. Spike knew it was such a public event that he would always be reminded of it by some pony at some point, but he didn’t think Rarity would ever use it against him.

Rarity could see by the dim light of his emerald eyes that she struck a sore spot, though in truth, Spike thought of it more as a low blow. The dragon’s face bubbled with raw pain. It was consuming his resolve, twisting it into something miserable and ugly.

“And what does that have to do with anything?” he asked venomously.

“You always ask us to stop treating you like a child, yet what you did at that summit was about as childish as you can get,” she said haughtily. Rarity lifted her hoof in a counting manner. “You abused Twilight’s title, lied to the delegates, had them wait on you hand and foot and caused the whole event to descend into chaos,” she said accusingly. She turned her head up and stomped her hoof down. “Certainly doesn’t sound like the kind of gentlemen I’d want to spend my nights with.”

Once more, anger and bitter sadness brewed inside Spike; drowning his calm in a hurricane of unyielding pain. He knew Rarity was always an overly emotional mare, but this side of her is one he’s never seen before. It felt like she was intentionally saying hurtful things to drive him away. She claimed they came from a place of purpose, but it felt like a desperate, spiteful attempt to just push him away without any sincerity.

“Yeah, I admit it; that was a stupid thing to do,” he said neutrally. Spike’s eyes hung low, staring at the ground with unfeeling indifference. As his voice and emotions rose, his eyes looked back to Rarity. “Maybe I only did that because…I wanted someone to listen to what I had to say; for once. Or maybe I did it because I got tired of being left out all the time and I wanted to feel like I mattered again,” his voice and emotions flared wildly; tears dripped from his eyes as he continued, “And maybe…maybe I did it because I-I wanted to do something cool that meant something important; so I didn’t have to h-hate myself anymore!”

The fashionista’s heart cracked with every word he spoke. She was overwhelmed by Spike’s pain. Such suffering, so much silent agony; why is this the first time she’s heard of this? Did Twilight know about this? Did he not tell her even?

“Hate yourself? Darling, why would you ever do such a dreadful thing?” she asked; her voice quaking with sympathy.

“Because every day I wake up, I’m reminded that no matter how hard I’ll try; I’ll never really be one of you. I look at myself in the mirror and say ‘looking good Spike’ so I don’t hate what I see looking back; so I can find some reason, any reason at all to like myself…even a little bit,” his voice choked on his own sadness. Years of pent up pain came flowing out through his hurt filled eyes and strained voice. “You should have been there Rarity. You should have heard those horrible things the Canterlot ponies were saying. Do you know what it was like, running home all alone; hearing them talk to me and look at me like a…like a freak? Can you even begin to imagine how that made me feel, or that sometimes, I have those same thoughts about myself even when no pony says anything? Do you even CARE?!?” he sobbed.

“Oh Spike, I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t mean to leave you, I was just caught up-”

“But you DID, you did leave me and worst of all; you did it on the day you promised we would spend together. You did what every one of our friends has done: you left me behind and didn’t care how it made me feel!”

Rarity turned pale with surprise. Where was all of this sorrow coming from? Could she possibly have been this blind for so long? Twilight and her friends didn’t leave him behind…did they?

“No-no Spike, I swear you’ve got it all wrong,” she shook her head frantically, “we didn’t leave you behind; we didn’t abandon you.” Spike looked at her as if her words were hollow lies. “I know what I did to you was terrible and you have every reason to be mad at me, but I swear on sapphires our friends have never left you behind,” she insisted.

“If that’s true then why didn’t any one bring me along to Twilight’s birthday party in Canterlot?” Spike coldly asked.

The snow white mare opened her mouth; automatically preparing her defense against Spike’s misplaced anger. Once he spoke however, she found her silenced by a horrifying realization: he was right. He wasn’t at Twilight’s birthday party.

Not waiting for some flimsy excuse, Spike revealed more heart crushing truths. “And how come no pony asked me to meet Maud and eat rock candy when she came to visit? Or what about the time no pony brought me along to watch Rainbow Dash at the Wonderbolts academy try outs, or the time you all left me alone at the Grand Galloping Gala…and-and the fact none of you tried to make it up to me when we went back to the Gala the following year?”

Try as she might, Rarity found herself too flabbergasted to come up with an answer to any of those occasions. She felt her stomach churn and her vocal chords shrivel up in disgust. She couldn’t believe that all of them have been ignoring Spike on so many, many important occasions.

“S-s-s-spike…I…I…I don’t know what to say….I’m so terribly sorry, so immeasurably sorry,” she whimpered meekly. Her cheeks dampened by cascading tears.

“You don’t need to say anything; your guy’s actions say enough. None of you even asked me to come along to Starlight’s village. I could have really helped there! I don’t have a cutie mark to steal, I could have been useful in getting your guys cutie marks back,” he bitterly griped.

“But you said you had already made plans to spend time with Big Mac; talking about hoof ball and trading hoof ball cards. You never said a word about wanting to come along,” she countered.

“I only did that because I was so used to you guys leaving me behind. I would have gone with you guys in a second…all you had to do was ask,” he replied.

A lifeless silenced dwindled between the dragon and the pony, it filled up the room like the stench of a rotting corpse. Words of pain and misery lodged in their hearts like arrows. Neither Spike nor Rarity knew what to say or where to go from here. So much had been said, so much pain had been caused, and yet the reason that brought them here together still felt unsolved.

“There’s something I’ve always wanted to ask you,” Rarity’s ears perked up, “I’ve been waiting, hoping you’d bring it up first but you never did.” Spike wiped the tear marks from his cheeks with his arm. “Why didn’t you and I talk about all this after what happened on my birthday?”

Rarity knew exactly what he was referring to. Her mind flashed back to the sight of them falling to their deaths after Spike transformed back to normal from his rampaging dragon form. Spike told her that he had a crush on her; fearing death was approaching. Rarity stopped him before he finished, looked to him with a knowing look and smiled; tears dripped from her eyes. They were saved of course, but Rarity had never spoken of that moment since it happened.

“Honestly? I don’t know; I don’t even know why I stopped you from telling me. Maybe I was worried hearing it out loud would make it true, maybe I felt knowing it was enough and hearing it wasn’t needed, or maybe I was just scared of dying,” Rarity confessed.

“I was scared b-b-but also I was…happy. That was actually the happiest day of my life, believe it or not. That was the first time I truly felt like I belonged. For that one brief moment, I felt like I was heard and I had proof that I wasn’t some delusional little kid with inappropriate feelings. We may have been falling Rarity, but I felt like I was flying.”

Once again, Rarity returned to that door, that accursed; wonderful door that tempted her to open it and see what lay inside. The door had been alternating between being closed and being open during this conversation. Several times she had been tempted with both alternatives.

“Spike, I have always known about your crush. I know I’ve been too wrapped up in myself to see it sometimes but I’ve always known about it.”

“Then why, why did you give me the romantic silent treatment all this time? Why haven’t you talked to me about any of this at all?”

“I just didn’t want to get your hopes up.”

“If that’s the case then why did you flirt with me and bat your eyes when you wanted me to do you a favor or something? I’ve seen you do it to other ponies too.”

Rarity rubbed her head. She felt her skull throbbing; pounded by all of her actions being turned against her. Spike had valid points, too potent enough to ignore but she couldn’t let them make her forget the most important thing: doing the right thing.

“This getting us nowhere darling; things are going to get worse long before they get better. Trust your original instincts. If you hurt Spike now he’ll be miserable for weeks, but if you date him and he stays with you all around Equestria for your career, he’ll be miserable for years; it’s the only way he’s going to listen to you. This is what’s best for you, this is what’s best for him,” she thought to herself.

“That was…that was…sigh that was different Spike, we are different. Even if you grow up and become a mature dragon, were still too different. You and I? Together as a couple? It’ll never work, I know it can’t and you need to know that too,” she implored. The fashionista’s voice grew more desperate and intense. She was holding back something, something she feared she wouldn’t have to say.

“Why can’t it work? You keep saying were different but we have so many things in common. We both like tea, we love gems; we like having things tidy and clean. Are you like, just forgetting all the good times we had together? Like our date?” he pleaded. Spike’s heart was racing. He felt like everything was spiraling out of control, like his love for Rarity was being eroded away.

“The date was a misunderstanding Spike! I was busy working on my orders, I didn’t even hear what you said until Sweetie Bell told me after you had left,” she blurted out.

Spike was momentarily stunned by her revelation. The young drake’s voice became choked up, but he swallowed down the pain and focused on the positive. “T-t-t-that’s okay, because you still came by and said you wanted to go through with it. Can’t you see? You do feel something for me; I know it. I saw how happy you were that night, I remember every detail of every smile,” Spike said, struggling to keep from crying again.

“You’re only making this harder on both of us Spike. No one will accept us, I don’t accept us; I just can’t!” she said; more assertively.

“But why? What’s so wrong with accepting-”

“BECAUSE I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT MY TRUE LOVE IS A DRAGON AND NOT A PONY!”

It was over.

Spike had spoken his last words that night. Rarity’s statement echoed in his mind, swirling around like a flock of boomerangs. Everything in him stopped feeling altogether; as if his bodily systems had shut down simultaneously. Rarity instantly realized the brutality of her words and tried to say something, but it was too late. Spike was deaf to her pleas.

The dragon looked at Rarity with empty, vacant eyes, turned around and went home without looking back. Anything the fashionista said to him at that point was just white noise; no different than cricket chirps or owl hoots. The heartbroken dragon eventually vanished from sight.

“I…I…did the right thing…I did the right thing…I did the right…thing” she stammered.

Rarity kept on repeating that statement over and over in her head. She ended up back at her home; slightly shocked she made it back. The mare’s mind was so overwhelmed with tonight’s events, she didn’t even remember leaving the hilltop or unlocking her front door when she arrived home. She eventually snapped out of it; her woe filled sapphire eyes adjusting to her home’s familiar sight.

The sound of faint meowing drew Rarity’s attention to the ground. Opal was sitting there, staring up at her with curious sun colored eyes. She mewed as if asking how her owner’s night had gone.

“Well, it’s done, it’s finally done. Spike’s feelings will no longer be an issue. I-I settled the matter like an adult, and-and now I don’t have to worry about leading him on anymore,” she muttered erratically. Opal wasn’t sure who Rarity was speaking to anymore, she sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than anyone else.

The purple haired pony went upstairs to her bedroom; exhausted and ready for bed. Opal followed her. The fluffy white feline was confused and concerned for her owner. She didn’t like what she was seeing.

Rarity hopped onto her bed, her movements slow and unusual; almost mechanical in nature. The dazed mare was moving as if she was programmed to go straight to bed without washing up or brushing her teeth. This wasn’t like her at all.

“I may have been a bit too harsh but…but at least Spike got the message. Yes…y-y-yes…it’s all clear now. He’ll get over this, I’m sure he will and-and this way he’ll be spared a much greater pain in the future,” Rarity rambled. Her voice sounded like she was reading from a script. “I-I did what’s best for Spike, even if he doesn’t know it yet. That’s right, I did the right thing,” she said; attempting to assure herself. Rarity suddenly turned to her cat. Heavy tears were pouring down her eyes and running her mascara. “I did do the right thing…didn’t I…didn’t I?”

Opal looked uneasily at her babbling, broken owner. She didn’t have an answer. All Opal could do was shrug.

Rarity buried her face into her pillow and cried as hard and loud as she possibly could.

---

To be continued…

Comments

[Guy With No Name]

Called it.....

That's one more relationship in shambles due to stupid things said.

[kodak]

[kodak]

How many more chapters do you plan to write? Love this story!

[Bionic Slime]

8474582
While I don't have a definitive number despite the fact I have the whole story's chain of events mapped out in my mind, rest assured, this story is still a long ways from being completed. I never planned on it being this long but seeing the responses to it, I'm glad that it is turning out this way. Thank you VERY much for being supportive and invested in my first MLP story. I'm half way done writing the next chapter as we speak!

[kodak]

8475808
Awesome sauce

[Quiznak]

This fic has all the drama of a soap opera...