The Marriage of Heaven and Earth

by RoyalBardofCanterlot

Please, Don't Stop Bothering Me

Rainbow Dash soared along in her Wonderbolts costume alongside her idols Spitfire and Soarin. The crowd below cheered her name. One voice stood out, that of her beautiful marefriend Pinkie Pie. She was flying behind her.

Wait a minute.

Pinkie Pie couldn’t fly. She was also wearing fishnet stockings. Dash’s wings flared out and stiffened. Suddenly the crowd below turned into all the bullies from Flight Camp.

“Rainbow Crash has a wingboner! Rainbow Crash has a wingboner!

Dash blushed. “Shut up! It happens to everypony-er, everypegasus!”

“Rainbow Dash if you can’t control yourself you can’t be a Wonderbolt you debased Sodomite!” Spitfire said, pulling out a baseball bat and whacking Dash in the head with it.

Dash woke up suddenly. Pinkie Pie was on top of her and poking her in the chest.

“Good morning, Rainbow Dash!”

Dash looked out her window. It was still dark outside. Her bedside clock read four am.

“Pinkie…how’d you get in here?”

Pinkie motioned to her flying bicycle which was lying by the bed.

“I cried till Twilight agreed to cast the cloudwalking spell on me and my bike.”

“Is there some kind of emergency?” She grinned. “Or is this a pleasure visit?”

Her wings stiffened as Pinkie stroked them. Dash suppressed a moan.

‘If this is a dream, no one wake me up.’

Pinkie giggled. “Dash, you’re so cute when you’re wings get like that! Why do they do that?”

Dash leaned up and brushed her lips against Pinkie’s. She then grinned seductively.

Pinkie’s eyes widened. “Ohhh…that means that.” She drew away suddenly. “But we don’t have time for that! The cake I baked you will be done in an hour!”

Dash blinked. “You baked me a cake at four in the morning.”

“Yep, I woke up thinking about how you’re an awesome marefriend and our three and a half month anniversary is coming up-”

“Look, Pinkie.” Dash stroked her cheek. “That was nice and all, but me and Lightning Dust are doing some training tomorrow morning-later this day actually I guess-and I need my rest. So, I don’t need you getting me all hot and bothered.”

Pinkie softly whimpered and guilt hit Dash like a ton of bricks.

“I…I didn’t k-know I bothered you.” Pinkie said, sniffling.

“No Pinkie, that’s not what I meant-”

But Pinkie had already hopped on her bicycle and flown away.

“Pinkie! Hey, Pinkie!” She flew after the crying party pony.

“Go away! Leave me alone!” Pinkie cried as she flew through the moonlit clouds, Dash close behind. For a time they danced among the stars, Pinkie drifting ever farther away. Finally, guilt and exhaustion overwhelmed the pegasus.

“Pinkie, I’m sorry!” She shouted, her tears caught by the wind. She hung her head. If she weren’t so tired she’d continue the chase. But
instead, she returned to her empty bed. Her cold, lonely, empty bed. Soon, she drifted into a restless sleep. A few hours later the sun rose, her soft light painting Dash’s cloudhouse in shades of pink and orange. Dash yawned and woke up. Her pillows were wet, stained with tears. She had fallen into a restless sleep after the argument with Pinkie Pie. Memories of last night crashed into her. She decided to skip breakfast as she needed to make this right as soon as she possibly could. She flew through her open window and soared in the direction of Sugarcube Corner. She hoped Pinkie wasn’t still mad at her. After all, Pinkie wasn’t the type to hold a grudge.

That was what Dash hoped anyway.

Ponyville was just waking up as Dash flew over it. A few customers were straggling into Sugarcube Corner. Dash joined them. She almost ran out when she saw the murderous glare Mr. Cake shot her way. Dash gulped as she approached the counter.

“Hi, is Pinkie around-”

“We gave her the day off. WHAT did you say to her?”

Dash’s ears flattened and she suddenly felt like a chastised schoolfilly.

“She misunderstood something I said. It’s private. Where is she?”

Mr. Cake shrugged. “I think she was going to visit that unicorn seamstress, Rarity. Something about needing a makeover. You know, just what I gathered from her muffled sobs.”

“Thanks.”

“Out. Now.”

“Yes, sir.”

Dash practically ran out of the bakery, took to the air and flew to Carousel Boutiqiue.

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique where everything is-oh, hello Rainbow Dash. If you’re looking for Pinkie Pie-and you had BETTER be-she just left.”

“How was she?”

“Distraught of course. I got the feeling she was somewhat exaggerating. To hear her tell it you turned into some sort of slobbering beast. While I don’t know why she would bake you a cake so early in the morning you could have shown some gratitude.” Rarity scolded in a tone normally reserved for her younger sister.

“Yeah, I know.” Dash mumbled. “Do you know where she is?”

“Yes. I’m not so sure I should tell you of course.”

“C’mon, Rarity-”

“Very well. But promise me you’ll apologize to the poor thing.”

“That’s why I’m looking for her.”

“She went to Applejack’s.”

“Thanks Rarity.” Dash said as she left. Dash took to the air again and flew to Sweet Apple Acres. She landed and knocked at the door to the farmhouse. Applejack answered the door and gave her a scaled down version of the glare Mr. Cake had given her.

“Hi, Applejack. Is Pinkie here?

“I don’t know if she wants to talk to you right now.” Applejack answered.

“I need to talk to her.” Dash said, aware that she was nearly begging and not caring.

“It’s fine Applejack.” Pinkie said as she walked up to her fellow Earth Pony. She’d gotten a haircut though it was only a few inches shorter than her usual look. It also looked like her pink fur had been moisturized. Dash only knew that word because she spent too much time around Rarity.

“Pinkie, can we talk? In private?”

Applejack stayed next to Pinkie.

‘Alright, she should be the Element of Loyalty, I’m doing a shitty job of it.’

“It’s alright, Applejack. Really.” Pinkie said, uncharacteristically serious.

“Alright then.” She finally said. She walked in. Pinkie walked out and closed the door. She avoided Dash’s gaze.

“I guess you wanna break up with me?” Pinkie asked.

“What? No of course I don’t!”

“R-really?”

“I want to apologize. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

“I shouldn’t have woken you up so early.”

“Well, no you shouldn’t have. Look, Pinkie, I know you mean well, but sometimes it’s like you have no concept of boundaries.”

Pinkie cocked her head. Dash resisted petting her. “What do you mean?”

“Like when you were in bed stroking my wings. You didn’t know, but wings are really sensitive.”

Pinkie gasped. “Oh no! I didn’t hurt you did I?”

“No, but it got me hot and bothered.”

Pinkie blinked. “What does that mean?”

“It means it made me horny. It’s sort of a Cloudsdale slang.”

“Oh, you weren’t bothered like annoyed! You were just horny!”

“Yes Pinkie I was.”

“Maybe I should have stayed then.” Pinkie said.

“I’d have liked that. But next time don’t wake me up so early, ‘kay?” Dash said, as she drew Pinkie into a hug.

“I’m so happy we got back together!” Pinkie exclaimed as she hugged Dash back.

“But we didn’t break up.” Dash said. “I’d never break up with you.”

“I’d never break up with you either.” Pinkie said, resting a head on Dash’s shoulder. Dash’s tummy growled. Pinkie broke the hug.

Pinkie kissed her, her lips softly fluttering over Dash’s. “You still want that cake I baked, right?”

“Of course.” Dash said stroking Pinkie’s mane.

“Hay, weren’t you going to train with Lightning Dust?”

“Yeah, but that’s about an hour away.”

Her tummy growled again. “I, um, haven’t had breakfast yet.”

Pinkie gasped and dragged Dash by the hoof inside the Apple residence.

“Applejack I need to make Dash an Earth Pony breakfast! Can I borrow your stove?”

“Sure thing, Pinkie.” Applejack said. She was washing dishes in the sink, the Apple family having already had breakfast. She walked into the living room. “I’m glad y’all patched things up.”

“Um, what’s an Earth Pony breakfast?”

“Whatever the Earth Pony feels like makin’.” Applejack answered as Pinkie gathered up what had to of been a half pound of hay bacon. “…
Oh. She’s making a traditional Earth Pony breakfast.” Applejack patted her back. “If you can eat half of it you’re an honorary Earth Pony. Welcome to the tribe.”

Dash smiled. I wouldn’t mind being part of Pinkie’s tribe.

(A.N-According to my headcanon, and an alternative ending to Wonderbolts Academy, Lightning Dust wasn’t kicked out of the academy only demoted to Dash’s wingpony.)

Comments

[VioletPony]

“Oh, you weren’t bothered like annoyed! You were just horny!”

XD I died of laughter