Avatar: The Last Alicorn. Book 4: Alicorn

by Jeweled Pen

Chapter 3: What is friendship all about?

A gray pony with a long, flowing beard appeared in front of Twilight. He was wearing a gray cape and hat, with images of the stars and moon across it. Little bells dangled all over his outfit. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled. “Starswirl...”

The stallion nodded. “Indeed, young Avatar. It has been... long since we last spoke. I can... tell you require my aid. What is it you need?”

She took a slow, deep breath. “Starswirl. I... I need to know how you did it. When you lost everything. When Discord took everything from you. How did you... how did you go on? In this... like this. How? Losing friends. Family. All those...”

The spirit paused for a moment before sighing. “You can never ask easy questions, can you young Avatar?” She shook her head. “Of course not. I... will admit. Losing everypony I cared for like that hurt. Losing my friend and having her turn on me was like having a knife through my heart. Even though I passed on soon after, in the moment... it was horrible. It still hurts.”

She nodded slowly. “I... I need to know more.”

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “As you wish. My friends were... my training was long, but wondrous. There were no great conflicts until the end of my reign. When Discord appeared, there was quite a bit of difficulty... getting everypony together. But defeating him was simple. Or so I thought.” The sadness began to tinge his voice. “I... made a mistake. I never realized how my friend felt, how I was overshadowing her. It never even dawned on me that that kind, sweet mare was so...” A few tears formed in his eyes. “Not a day goes by I don't regret my failures. Even now, as this spirit, I still feel the pain of that loss. If I had been a better avatar, perhaps none of this would have happened. In nearly every sense of the word, I was a failure. It shames me to know that I have led you down this path.”

She nodded. “How... can I cope? After--”

“You must stop what you are doing now.”

“W-what?”

“Locking yourself away from the world. The pain is strong, I know. But this... is not how it should be dealt with. Not how you should act. You are the Avatar. The light of the world, a beacon for all. Hiding in a tower from ponies is not what you should do.”

“I-I've saved the world, I've given e-everything for them. H-how can I give more? How can they expect me to give more? I have nothing left to give!”

“And yet you must,” Starswirl said with a shake of his head. “The world depends on you. This loss is powerful, but you, and you alone, must deal with it and continue. It is your duty.”

“H-how?” she asked softly, a sob breaking from her throat. “H-how can I possibly deal with this? How can... how can anypony possibly deal with this? The pain, they... they depended on me. I let them down. I-I left them to die. It should have been me who died, not them!”

Starswirl looked down. “I do not know. All I can tell you... is you must. Look deeper, if you desire. There are others who suffered. Who lost. Talk with them.”

She closed her eyes and he faded away. How could he possibly understand? She'd lost everything and had to go on living. He'd at least had the good fortune to die soon after his betrayal. To join his friends. She focused, delving deeper within herself.

A new pony appeared, a light gray one with streaked dark and light gray mane. “Cadence,” Twilight said softly, staring at her.

“Hello, Twilight,” the mare said softly.

“I... I need to know. When you lost--”

“I know,” Cadence said softly, shaking her head. “I... know all to well what you feel. When... when I lost my Shining, it was the worst thing I'd ever experienced. I had other friends, but he was the light of my life. He was the color. Everything was better with him there. Without him, the world was a dark and awful place.”

Twilight nodded. “Exactly. It's... it feels so hopeless. So empty.”

“It did. Not having him there in the morning was... awful. Every day I would wake up, and half expect him to be there. Waiting for me. Smiling. With a piece of toast or some haybacon. That he'd ask me how I slept and I'd tell him I had some awful dream. But... it never happened. I finally couldn't take it. The pain. The loss. It was... too much. All those ponies telling me how they needed me. How I had to be there. Telling me of my responsibility. I finally ran and hid away, to grieve in peace.”

Twilight nodded. “Exactly.”

“I was wrong. I... ran away from my responsibilities. I hated them, hated all of them for my loss. But that was never what Shining would have wanted. He loved me, but he loved me for what I was. Who I was. He would have fought besides me no matter the cost. When I lost him, I fell apart. It would have killed him a second time to see me like that. Avatar, you must not do what I did. You... cannot allow your grief to control you. To enslave you. Do not do it for yourself, but do it for them. Do it for your friends. For they would never have wanted you to be like this because of them. I... cannot tell you how to continue. But... perhaps the previous avatar can. Go, ask him.”

With those parting words, the alicorn disappeared. Twilight stared for a few moments before letting out a sob. Why was it okay for that avatar to grieve and fall apart, but not her? She'd saved the world, she'd done her duty. All she wanted now was to grieve and fall apart in peace. But the hope of somepony who could help her, who could take away the pain was too much. She dug deeper.

Next, a white alicorn with light gray arrow tattoos across his body appeared. As opposed to the others, he was smiling. “Hey, Twilight. What's up?”

“I... don't think we've talked. I... I need to know how to--”

“It'll never stop hurting,” the pony said, the grin disappearing.

“W-what?”

“The pain you're feeling. Trust me, I know. It never stops hurting.” The pony took a deep breath. “I... was alive during a very short conflict. The Fire Tribes, attacked us. There was war and my home was wiped out. Everypony I ever knew. Parents, brother, cousins, neighbors. All dead in one day. I was the only survivor.”

She stared, her mouth falling open. “I... I'm so sorry. My people are--”

“It's not your people. That's the thing so many ponies forget. It's not 'my people' and 'your people'. It's ponies. We're all ponies. Some of us have magic, some of us have different magic. But in the end, we're all ponies.” He sighed. “I... was young when that happened. They were coming after me, trying to eliminate me before I was a threat. They almost succeeded, but I was taken to Cloudsdale right before the attack. From there, I trained. I learned. I made friends.” He leaned back. “My water bending teacher? She was a great mare. Always talking about hope and how she believed in ponies. Very kind and loving, but... so very strong.” He gave a soft sigh. “I ended up marrying her, actually. Her brother tried to beat me with his boomerang at the wedding. Heh. Half surprised he wasn't in the dress, let me tell you, he ended up cross dressing a lot during our adventures.”

Twilight stared for a few moments, her mouth falling open. She then shook her head. “How does... this help?”

He smiled, a hint of sadness in his eyes. “I lost everypony important to me. I... wanted to make them hurt for the longest time. I couldn't trust anypony. Only... well, I could only trust a few. I... almost killed the fire bender who did it. He'd taken up the name Fire Lord and... when we fought, I nearly killed him. But I couldn't.” He put a hoof over his heart. “The pain doesn't go away. Hiding from others, grieving, anger. None of those will ever stop it. It's... not something you can bear alone. Even now the loss hurts. But... they make it better. Every friend I made. My wife. My children. The pain was never gone, it weighed on me. But I always had those who could help me carry it. Who... held me up, even though I wanted to fall. If you're hoping that one day you'll wake up and boom, stop caring? That won't happen. Time will heal it, slowly. But you couldn't save the world alone, what makes you think you can bear this weight alone?”

She trembled and threw her head down, sobbing. Her horn flickered and the tattood pony disappeared. “H-how can I? F-friends... a-all that will happen is they'll get hurt. I-I can't. All I ever did was hurt them. I-I pulled them away f-from their homes, their f-families and they died for it! T-they didn't... didn't deserve this...”

She laid there and wallowed in her misery, sobbing softly. Then, slowly, she began to open her eyes and stare ahead. There was... still one last pony. One more avatar she could turn to. One who would understand exactly how she felt. Every pain filled second. She closed her eyes and, slowly, the last alicorn began to appear in front of her.

She was a light, almost white gray, with a dark gray mane. “Twilight,” she said softly.

“C-Clover,” the avatar said softly. “I... I...”

“You wish to be alone. You want to know how I did it, how I lasted so long without friends? You want to be like me?” the mare snorted and sighed. “Then you're a fool.”

Twilight was taken aback, her mouth falling open. “But... but you... you were...”

“I was a coward. Did you think I was hiding for the sake of others? No. I was terrified. I knew what pain would come for me if I had friends. I knew I was a target and I knew that... if I had ponies close to me, they would be in danger.” She took a deep sigh. “I never... I was lonely. Alone. I had... two friends. My little dragon, Sparkie. And my sister,” Clover said with a gentle sigh. “She should have been the avatar, not I. She was always the... one good at making friends. She probably would have befriended every enemy I had to eliminate.”

“B-but it worked, didn't it? Y-you kept ponies safe. You never had to--”

“I lived a blank, empty life. I hid away, while my family moved on. I was an aunt, but I only met my nieces and nephews once. I cowered, like a foal in my tower.” She looked around. “Is this what you want? You've felt the touch of your friends on your heart. Can you really look around at these books and say they replace them? That they can be as good?”

Twilight shivered and shook her head. “N-no. I... But... t-they're gone. They died and--”

“So? Is this what you want, now? Is this what they would have wanted?” Clover stood up and walked to the nearby window and looked out through it. “An empty world, with just your books, forever? No pony to care about you? No pony to talk with?” She turned around and glared. “Do what you wish, Avatar. This is your decision now. But do not use my cowardice as an excuse for your own.” She stepped forward. “You dishonor not only me, but the memories of your fallen comrades.”

Twilight just stared, her mouth hanging open. “My... my friends were... I can't... I...”

“Is this what they would have wanted?” Clover asked as she took a step closer, to look into the alicorn's eyes. “Their friend to have become this... sniveling, terrified creature? Would they have wanted their passing to do this?” She leaned in ever closer. “Do you wish you had never met them? Does the grief of having lost them so eclipse the joy that they brought you?”

Tears formed in Twilight's eyes as she slowly shook her head. “N-no. They... they were... they were everything.” Memories flashed through her mind. One year. It had been less than a year. Such a short time to know a pony. But she had learned so much. Experienced so much. More than books had ever taught her. She slowly stood up and dried her eyes. “No. Nothing could eclipse what they showed me. What I... experienced with them. Everything... everything was so...”

“Then stop hiding. Don't be a coward, like I was. Friendship can hurt. Just like everything else. But that is no reason to hide from it.” With those parting words, the pony disappeared.

Twilight stood there in silence, before turning and walking away.

------

The alicorn stood on the edge of the tower, looking out over the world. She'd lost so much. In a way, she'd lost everything. Her friends who had become so dear to her, in such a short time. But they had given their lives, given their everything, to stand by her. Even though they knew death could take them. She stared intently over the world.

Her friends were gone in body. But their spirit would never be. Pieces of them would dwell in her heart forever. Helping her. Guiding her. Watching over her. Just as she would have them. She spread her wings and slowly rose into the air.

“The war is over,” she said softly. “For that, my friends, I thank you. For everything you have taught me, for everything you did for me. I... will never forget you.” She slammed her hoof down and the tower crumbled, splitting down the middle as stones and rocks fell apart. She watched the tower fall apart, her tower. Her pillar of loneliness and grief. Soon nothing remained but a pile of rocks.

“But I will move on. I will make new friends. New bonds. I will take everything you have given me and continue. Goodbye.” She slowly lowered herself to the ground as color began to return to her world. The pain began to melt away, though it still gnawed at her heart, struggling to get a grip. But there was nowhere for it anymore. Her friends were gone, but she would no longer let their memory be of sadness and pain. Their bond would remain no matter what. Now, she would remember all the joy and pleasure they brought her. The smiles. The laughter. The life.

She knew exactly where she would spread it first, too.

------

“Avatar, such a pleasant surprise,” Luna said, giving the alicorn a warm smile. Twilight was a little taken aback by the kindness from her, but it was refreshing.

“I... wish to apologize. For... for Rarity. I never... I never did that. When I was here. I just... threw myself into everything.” Twilight took a deep breath. “I know you tried to talk with me then, but I couldn't bear it.”

The once Nightmare Moon stared at her for a moment before lowering her gaze. “I... I understand. Twilight, please. What happened then... it was not your fault. My daughter died, but she didn't die an empty death. She died so all ponies, everywhere, could be safe. She knew what she was getting into when this happened. I know she would never have blamed you for this.”

The avatar slowly looked away, watching over the slow rebuilding of Canterlot. “How can you forgive me? I... if I hadn't failed--”

“Rarity would have forgiven you. All of your friends would have. They loved you, fought with you. They would never have blamed you for what happened.” Luna slowly looked away as well. “It was Discord who is to blame, and I. But never, ever you.”

Twilight nodded and smiled. “I... I'd like to help. This world is still hurting and... my friends gave everything they had to try to fix it. I'm done hiding away. I want to get back to work.”

Luna nodded. “Thank you, Avatar. Your help will be much appreciated.”

Twilight smiled and felt a small twang in her heart. This Luna wasn't so bad. Her friends were gone, but there would be no more letting her life slide by. She would make new friends, new allies. She would make a new world they would be proud of.

“What are you doing here?” Celestia asked, making the alicorn jump.

“Ahhh! Your highness!” Twilight said as she turned around and took a step back. Her friend's aunt looked horrible, her mane ruffled, her eyes bloodshot. Her gaze was cold and hard. “I was merely here to--”

“I know exactly why you are here. Begone. I have no desire to deal with you. After you killed my niece and all your other little friends.”

Twilight's mouth fell open and she stared at the mare. “Ex... excuse me?”

“You shouldn't have been the one to survive, Rarity should have. You're the one to blame, the one at fault. All you ever do is ruin everything for those ponies unfortunate enough to be your friends!”

The alicorn couldn't respond, the shock and pain rolling over her.

“Just leave. None of us want you here, none of us. Just go back to your tower and leave the rest of us alone.” The unicorn stared down at her, her chest heaving.

Twilight watched her for a few more moments as the words rang through her. They sounded so... so... hollow. But they were the same words she had told herself not long ago. Her eyes slowly narrowed and she took a step forward. “Who are you?”

“What?”

“You. Who are you? I... know Celestia. I know the kind of mare she was. She was kind and caring...” She took another step forward as she felt another twang in her heart. “It's... not right, is it?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Everything. It all... everything is just...” She looked around again. There was color now. Everything was colorful. But darker. Different than it should have been. It had been gray, as well. She remembered. She thought it had just been her, but everything. She tried to imagine what life had been like the last few years, but she couldn't. It all went by so fast. In fact, everything seemed to be happening in a blur.

Her eyes went wider. She didn't even remember coming here. She had decided to come to Luna, and then she had been here. It had made sense, but now... she felt it began to melt away from her mind. To melt away from her. Cracks started to form in reality as she stomped her hoof again.

“Discord,” she whispered softly.

“You're making no sense, Avatar. Just--”

“NO!” Twilight yelled, stomping both hooves again. “Discord, you haven't won! You don't win!” She lifted her head and turned to Celestia. “This is over. I will not be controlled by you any longer.”

Celestia stared before growling. “Very well. If you won't relinquish your control...” A black wing struck out from her side. “Then I will just have you beat you and your element down.” The world disappeared.

Twilight stood, floating high above in blackness. No, not floating. There was nothing there, no up or down. There was just her, Celestia and Luna. Celestia began to change, her skin melting away to reveal a black alicorn with red, glowing eyes. It charged towards her.

Twilight shrieked and her horn glowed, but there was no magic. It barreled into her, but then darted away as Luna stepped forward. The once ruler smiled and her skin began to melt away as well, revealing a white alicorn with a cutie mark shaped like her element. The mare smiled at her and held out a hoof. The Avatar eyed it for a moment before reaching out and taking the mare's hoof. There was a flash, and the other alicorn was gone, replaced by her crown.

“This is over,” Twilight whispered before turning towards the black alicorn. It hissed, long black fangs flashing. She put the element on her head and stared at it. “You don't win.” Light erupted from the element.

The world exploded and she crashed to the ground, letting out a yelp. “Owwww...” she groaned. Her element landed a few feet away, the cracked gem glimmering in the light. She looked around, her eyes widening.

She was laying in front of a pillar with the word's 'Twilight Sparkle' written on the bottom. Rocks covered the floor. She was in some kind of stone chamber.

There was yelling and galloping hooves coming towards her. She looked around before grabbing her element, galloping towards the back wall, opening it with her earth bending and jumping through, arriving outside. She closed it behind her and turned back, just making a small peephole into the other room.

Where was she? What was going on? More importantly, if she was in there, where were her friends?

Comments

[Alphamon_Ouryuken]

I KNEW something was off!! Nice Aaang cameo by the way!

[DiscordDraconequus]

...Discord, you son of a Diamond Dog.

[Jeweled Pen]

5676709 Thanks ^^ Been planning that thing since like, book 2.
5676897 He's a son of many, many things.

[eric-emanwu]

HA! That's strike 1 big D. The road to reversal begins here. (Bah! The game's still going. Twilight just won round 1.)

And like I said before, the fact that Starswirl was GREY was a big tipoff that something is wrong. Because we all KNOW that she's not really grey. They were all grey for that matter. Though it was nice to know that even in the depths of her pain, seeing her first past life, her spirit mentor, did manage to bring a smile to her face.

Actually though, I think...that those were the real avatar spirits that twilight summoned into her mind, as the rules of spirit physics makes it impossible for discord to replicate their reactions. Or just that the summoning worked so well that it bypassed control. Also, the way Starswirl said the world "long" has me wondering if the other avatars KNEW this was all in her head.

However, unlike the last time, Twilight actually did listen to what the others were saying. Starswirl touched on some minor points, pointing out that when this war ends, you need to share the glory with your friends. Otherwise, the avatar who helped cultivate this mess will only see the same thing happen again. But more importantly, Starswirl told twilight that when you lose, You must stop shutting the world out. You must live up to the life you were borne to. Cadence knew what it was like to have one's true love pulled away, feel ruined by the lack of his presence. But to twilight, she told her that you cannot allow grief to control you. You must move on not for your sake, but for theirs. They would not want you to fall apart just because of them. Then there was the airbender in between. Avatar Aaang of all beings. The airbender who, when the fire tribes attacked, destroyed an entire sect of the air nomads. In essence, this is what would've happened if Aang had lived. He was taken to a major Air holdout, trained, grew, made friends, fell in love with a water bender, and had a boomerang wielding brother in law. How much he wanted vengeance on the pony who lead the attack. But in the end, his heart and his training won out, and he spared him. Aang's advise is probably the most complex. "The pain will never end, but being around others makes it better. You couldn't save the world alone. What makes you think you can bear this grief alone?"

And finally, there was her previous avatar from her part of the cycle. At last, twilight and clover talked. And, in fascination, it seems that despite the griefs that all the other avatars faced and lost or won after Clover, She actually felt she was the least successful of them all. That she kept the world safe for sure, but with only her outgoing sister and her pet to keep her company, she lived a vapid, empty life without joy or friendship, all because she was afraid of being heart. So with Clover, she asked questions of the avatar. Can books really replace ponies? Is this what anyone really wants? Does this honor you friends at all you imbicile? And of course, the knockout question. "Do you wish you had never met them? Does the grief of having lost them so eclipse the joy that they brought you?” And to this, twilight had only one answer. No, they were everything to her once she had them, and no, nothing could change what I felt and had when they were around. And so Clover left her with one final challenge. "Friendship can hurt. Just like everything else. But that is no reason to hide from it.”

And it was in this, this last statement that twilight finally knew what she had to do. She loved them to death, but she needed to move on. Make new friends, find others who would share the pain and joy just as they did. And to begin that, she went to go speak with princess luna for the first time without evil between them.

"They loved you, fought with you. They would never have blamed you for what happened.” Wow. That's so beautiful.

Also, besides the anger and rudeness, there was one other thing that tipped me off that something was wrong with Celestia. No matter how much she loved Rarity, the war gave her her other corrupted forces, her sister and her younger niece back. No matter how great the loss Rarity would leave for her surrogate daughter, she would've found a way to transfer her affections onto them instead. This kind of dwelling really does feel out of character for both Iroh and Celestia.

And in fact, it was for precisely that reason that twilight finally figured it out. “Who are you? I... know Celestia. I know the kind of mare she was. She was kind and caring...” And then the final clue: Dream logic. You never see the beginning of a dream. Rather, you just drop into it. And that should be clue enough that something is wrong. So with her element of magic in friendship finally returning to her, Twilight raised herself high, finally seeing the smokescreen that had been created around her mind. And she declared, “Discord, you haven't won! You don't win!..This is over, You don't win.”

And so, the spell was broken on her. And with her spell broken, the REAL book 4 begins. For the tragedy was not real. Now, the new adventure to rescue her friends begins.

[LibbytheKautz]

I'm so relieved. I have to admit, I still cried a lot in this chapter.

[Blaster M]

And now the real battle begins