Are We Human?

by dramatic_spoon

Just like me

James stared across the table at Big Macintosh. The stallion avoided his gaze, preoccupied with trying to shift into a more comfortable position on the chair. After a moment, the stallion turned his attention back to the human.

“…Let’s just get straight to the point, am I really suppose to believe that we’re th’ same person?” James paused, “Pony. Entity.”

“…Miss Zuri said somethin’ bout an’ ‘Incident’?” Big Macintosh continued, “Did it have anythin’ t’ do with a buncha little ones sayin’ you were their father?”

James frowned, “And?”

“An’ then you an’ your wife had t’ wait because your daughter got dragged in to some ridiculous thing through the multiverse. Lead by a kid claimin’ t’ be your daughter with the Element of Generosity.” Big Macintosh continued.

“…Let’s say I believe you.” James held up one finger, “If things went exactly th’ same, what did Granny feed’m after they got here?”

“Apple cobbler. Then they got into a food fight an’ you hadda giv’m a bath.”

“…” James shook his head, “Alright, I believe it.”

“After dealin’ with all of that, sayin’ there’s a world were everypony’s a monkey ain’t that hard t’ believe.” Big Macintosh added.

“Eeyup.”

---

The two Lyras sat separate from each other in the living room; Human Lyra on the reclining chair, pony Lyra sitting upright on the sofa. The two continued to sneak awkward glances at each other, before Human Lyra continued to stare.

“What?” Pony Lyra glared back.

“Doesn’t it hurt to sit like that?” Human Lyra made a curving motion, mimicking the position of Pony Lyra’s back, “I mean, I don’t think horses were made to sit like that.”

“I’m a pony.” Pony Lyra grumbled, “And I always sit like this.”

“…okay.”

The pair grew silent again as they listened to their husband’s conversation.

“How can he sit in there talking with a horse?” Human Lyra shook her head, “He’s taking this far too well.”

“Why? You have something against ponies?” Pony Lyra frowned.

“I don’t like horses,” Human Lyra responded. After a moment of hesitation, she shook her head, “Well, I don’t like real horses. I mean horses here.”

“Why’s that?”

“James thought it would be romantic to go horse riding and having a picnic at sunset.” Human Lyra smiled, “It was until the horse bit me. That, and I’m not much of a rider.”

Pony Lyra shook her head as Human Lyra continued on, “And what about you?”

“What about me?” Pony Lyra frowned.

“You keep giving me a dirty look.”

“I don’t like monkeys,” Pony Lyra grumbled.

“We’re not monkeys, humans are apes.” Human Lyra corrected, “Why’s that?”

“When I was a filly, we went to the zoo on a field trip,” Pony Lyra paused, “The monkey threw his s-”

“Ah.” Human Lyra frowned, “That happened to me as well. Only Bonnie was there to see it, though.”

Pony Lyra’s attention snapped back to the human, “Bonnie?”

“Bonnie Aeschbacher.” Human Lyra paused, “Well, she’s Washburne now after she married Malcolm. She’s a confectioner. They have a son, named Nathan. Is any of this sounding familiar?”

Pony Lyra paused, “…My friend Bon-Bon. Her husband is Serenity and they have a son named Almond Joy.”

“See? We have…something to talk about.” Human Lyra smiled.

“…I just want to go home and forget all of this ever happened,” Pony Lyra ignored her as she collapsed onto the sofa, “I know you’re trying to be nice, but I would love nothing more than to go home, open up a bottle of sherry and forget all of this happened.”

“…To be honest, I’d feel the same way if the situation was reversed.” Human Lyra agreed.

“I don’t see how Mac can sit in there with that…that thing.” Pony Lyra continued on, “This…this is all wrong.”

“…” Human Lyra stood up and left for the kitchen. Big Macintosh and James continued their conversation.

“…So I got a question then,” Big Macintosh paused, “If we ended up with th’ same kids…An’ Eris is th’ same as Bellona…”

“I don’t want th’ think about how that works,” James interrupted him.

“I mean it’s bad enough when I think ‘bout ponies an’ Discord, but…” Big Macintosh continued on.

“I don’t think about it and I don’t think you should either,” Human Lyra interrupted James as she took a seat next to her husband.

“Done talkin’ with Lyra?” James leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

“Your wife really doesn’t like it here.”

“She had a traumatic experience with monkeys.”

---

Rachael sat on her bedroom floor, staring at Rhapsody. The filly sat on Rachael’s bed, keeping eye contact with her.

“…So the big red pony is your dad.”

“Uh-huh.”

“An’ the green unicorn is your mom.”

“Yep.”

“An’ they’re the same as my parents.”

“I guess.”

“Which means…” Rachael paused, “That you’re me?”

“…I guess so,” Rhapsody paused, “I met other ponies who said they were…” the filly paused, looking for the right words, “Said they were from alternate dimensions and that their dad was the same as mine.”

“…I did that too,” Rachael added, “Some lady sayin’ her name was Tabitha. She had like this really cool leather coat and goggles and thing on her arm that let her go to other worlds.”

“She said her name was Golden Gem,” Rhapsody scratched her head, “I dunno where we went next, but we had a pegasus pony named Stratos.”

“…He said his name was Stratos too. Did he have a girlfriend named…Tempranc..Tempan..” Rachael continued to stumble over the name, “It was a really weird sounding name that started with a T.”

“He said his marefriend was Temporal Spectrum.” Rhapsody responded.

“…That’s a weird name.”

---

“So, as nice as all o’ this is, how are we gonna get home?” Big Macintosh asked.

“Th’ obvious answer is to go see David. He’s still got his gizmo t’ that let’m go through dimensions.” James shrugged.

“…David?”

“Runs the clock shop, married th’ school teacher and is th’ one incharge of this world’s multiverse monitoring system.”

“…Oh., Time Turner.”

“Right, and given how your wife’s doin’ I’d say the sooner we go t’ him the better.”

“What about th’ kids?”

---

“…But how does that work?” Rhapsody asked, “Discord knows magic so he could turn himself into a girl or something.”

“I dunno.” Rachael shrugged.

“…’Cause I think she told me that she doesn’t know either.” Rhapsody scratched her ear.

“…What about Oscura?”

“Who’s Oscura?”

“She’s the big tall grey pony with th’ sword an’ dad was a prince.”

“…Princess Sable?” Rachael shrugged, “She was tall an’ muscular an’ had a sword.”

“Did she fight a hydra?”

“Eeyup. It was awesome. And really scary.”

The two fell silent.

“…I wanna go home.” Rhapsody stated.

“…I know,” Rachael sighed, “I don’t think I could keep myself. If this was backwards, then I’d want to go home too.”

“…Thanks.”

---

“…Well, it’s settled,” James stood up, “We’re goin’ t’ see Dave.”

Comments

[dramatic_spoon]

Logical notes:

Bonbon's human name is, obviously, Bonnie.
Serenity's human name is Malcolm Washburne for an obvious reason.

Temporal Spectrum's human name is Temperance.