Fallout Equestria: Wasteland Shuffle

by BEBOP!

Honky Tonk Mares

Fallout Equestria: Wasteland Shuffle

~Bebop n’ Company

Chapter 3: Honky Tonk Mares

"TLC as in 'Tender Loving Care' or 'Total Lost Cause?'"

“Uh-huh, you’re the one that was on the radio,” the mustachioed mayor said skeptically, “so what?” I hadn’t considered the ‘so what’ thing. I didn’t know. Shit.

“Uhhh... ummm,” I stalled, “Kind of. I know what you’re thinking: random pony walks into town and knocks on the mayors’ door almost directly after a mention on the radio because, coincidentally, he and his companion might look kinda like him. Yeah. Umm...” the mayor I was speaking with was beginning to look awfully impatient.

“Either get to your point or git, understand? It’s cold out here, and you’re makin’ me leave my door open. I sure as Celestia ain’t gonna let you in, either,” a scowl had begun to form on his face.

“My apologies, but can I see the other one?” I thought maybe I could have more luck with the other head of town.

“Other one?” The legitimately confused mayor asked, “it’s just me here. What the hell’s wrong with you?” This was going downhill by the second.

I must have miscalculated, maybe the other was deceased, I mean, obviously there are two leaders, everything just falls apart if there aren’t, “Oh, my condolences. I’m sorry for your loss,” I offered, hoping he would accept the apology.

“I’m sorry, I think you should leave,” nope. Just as he was closing the door, I put my hoof in the way.

“I have a favour to ask of you,” I stated plainly, “My partner and I are from Stable 34 in the hill you call Black Mesa Peak. My name is Bebop: I can administer the proper dosage of any chem you need, and determine a lot of illnesses and causes. I don’t do surgery. My partner over there is Blind Iridescence, but Blind fits her better; she paints. We fixed your signs,” I pointed to the recently edited Mayor and Doctor sign, “we need somewhere to put the remaining survivors of our stable: we were attacked by what I’ve gathered to be hell hounds, please find it in your soul to let us put them in your empty homes, they’ll bring things to trade and be hard workers, I promise,” I hadn’t let the stallion before me speak once, though he hadn’t left me talking to air, either, his back was to me and I could tell he was contemplating what to do, “I will let you have sex with my partner if you let me do this,” I was practically begging, though making sure to keep quiet. My moral boundaries were at their limits.

“I’ll tell you h-wat,” the mayor drawled, “if you can do a little something for me, I’ll...” he paused, “I’ll see if I can’t find a place for your alleged stable members. There are a lot openin’ up recently it seems,” he seemed to be speaking to himself toward the end.

“I might be goin’ the wrong way with this,” I nickered, keeping an eye on Iridescence, still crouched by the windows, “but if you’re gonna ask what I think you’re gonna ask, my barn doors don’t swing that way, and I was only kidding when I talked about my partner like that,” oh goddess, I hoped I hadn’t just pissed him off. I didn’t know what it was going to be like up here, but I already knew that kind of thing wouldn’t fly everywhere.

He chuckled. Oh merciful Celestia, he chuckled, and not in a menacing way... it was warm... my relief was almost palpable, “not even close, but thank you for clarifying, I don’t know what it is about you, but I’m pretty sure I can trust ya with all my caps in the dead o’ night with my back turned,” I didn’t know what to make of that statement, but the word caps rung a bell, “no, what I want you to do is much more difficult than that. But I hear you can take care of yourself, if DJ’s words are ringin’ true,” I didn’t know what to say to that.

He’d turned back around to face me, “why don’t you and your,” he looked to Iridescence with a sly grin and back to me, “partner, come in. I’ll see to it that you have good food in your stomachs, and some hard cider to ease your minds,” this guy was... dare I say, charitable? Not even in the stable was someone so polite!

His cowpony vest was now visible as he waved for Iridescence and I called. One or two other ponies of different colours and races poked their heads through curtains to see what was going on. One of them was what I assumed was a pegasus. There was one in 34, but he was old and didn’t have any close relatives. I was going to be one of the last in 34 to see one. And here was a bright green and black one right in town.

Iridescence scampered up and my new blue-brown acquaintance introduced himself by saying, “your friend said he’d let me sleep with you to let your stable members live in town,” he grinned ear to ear while the pink pony next to me reared up for a hoof to my side.

I dodged her buck and stepped inside his- I wasn’t sure what it was- ranch? Two rooms in all: a living room with a kitchen and bathroom across from each other, nothing but a curtain separating the two, and a bedroom. It smelled like something I’d never smelled before. Sweet and... words could not express it: it was something I’d simply never experienced before. I put my saddlebags in the corner, Iridescence did the same before kicking my flank.

Mustache pony trotted to the other side of the room and brought from the top of his stove, three big slices of something that made my mouth water, “it’s called Brahmin,” he explained. He eyed us and added, “you’ve never had meat before, have you?” We most certainly hadn’t.

“No, but only because The Doctor here was stupid enough to give it back to some hunters we’d met on the way here,” I facehoofed at Iridescence’ answer. She was telling the story all wrong!

“Suns t’ ne ‘e wush dzush doin’ uh righ’ ‘hing, nissy,” the mayor defended, tray in mouth. He set it down on a table near the center of the room in front of his stove. It was pleasantly warm, and perceivably claustrophobic in the building. Iridescence sighed and looked down at her food and dug in, “does she do that a lot? She’s just a filly, I see, but she’s not that young. You would know, right?” he raised an eyebrow at me, a ‘knowing’ look on his face. Seemed most ponies were mistaking us for a couple, rather than a duo. It bothered me.

“Actually, I wouldn’t. These last few days were the first time in my entire life I’d spent more than ten minutes with her at a stretch. I hope not,” I returned his look with one of uncertainty.

He stretched his back, “do you need any silverware?” he was getting up for his own.

“Yes, please, sir,” I made certain to be mannerly around this generous individual. I glared at the pony next to me, wolfing down her steak, attempting to eat it all at once. And failing.

She was choking.

I gave her a slap on the back, “you idiot!” she was coughing and wheezing, her eyes showing fear. I put my hooves just under her rib cage, the mayor watching, and brought down a bit of force three times before the chewed up hunk of meat was back on her plate, “goddess damnit, you’re stupid,” I exhaled in pure, unadulterated mitigation.

“So you live up to your name at least. I s’pose now’d be the appropriate time to let you know my name’s Law. L-A-W, Law. That’s all there is to it. It’s also kinda funny, ‘cause we don’t have any sheriff or deputy to carry it out. So really, it’s just me. And ahm really not fer enforcing much of anythin’,” his name was simple and befitting of someone in his position. The planked wood floor had pony spit and a few strands of pink hair on it now. Wind whistled outside.

“Well, a bit late, but late’s better than never, I guess,” I chortled, “my, well I assume it’s my nickname, is so accurate, I have no idea how the DJ’s managed to get it right. I haven’t shown any of my talent until now,” I showed off my pipbuck, “I was listening to him, and the only way I can think he’d decide my nickname is by seeing my cutie mark, and that was really only visible for a few minutes at most,” our host hmmed.

“Mr. PON3’s pretty good at figurin’ anything out if he wants to. You come into contact with someone that might be an informant? Couldn’t have been one of the raiders er hunters- too far away, I dunno,” he cut the steak with his fork in one hoof and knife in the other. I had no idea how earth ponies could do that.

“There was this robot, er, spritebot we came into contact with that told us to go to that diner first. I don’t know why it did that, this place was on our way, anyway,” I subsided as Law gave me a stern look.

“Now don’t be goin’ crazy on me, all those spritebots do is play that Celestia-damnable music and broadcast Red Eye’s beliefs. Goddesses know we’re having enough trouble with the changelings and manticores,” he ranted on like this for several minutes before giving up trying to explain Sunset’s situation, “now let me be absolutely straightforward: spritebots DO NOT talk to ponies,” I looked around the room, dust floating in the air, and our host cleared his throat, “getting back to the matter at hand. We’ve been having an issue with our water,” when I lifted a piece of steak up to my mouth, my pipbuck tick-ticked a little. It was in the green, so I didn’t mind. I nodded for him to go on, “it’s not so much that we can’t get it, as it is the caravan that’s supposed to deliver it gets attacked just a little ways out of town, and nopony here is willing to offer any kind of assistance. I thought it was Diamond Dogs, but this road’s goin’ somewhere else. We have another convoy arriving tomorrow. Truth be told, we’re pretty much up a creek if’n we can’t get it soon,” he finished.

His story sounded intriguing and I accepted without a second thought. Anything to get 34 down here. This was a nice bunch, though having to transport water was a foreign concept, I was quite willing to accept it as part of these pony’s lives.

Iridescence had other plans, however, “I don’t think so. Let me ask some questions, or I’m not doing anything,” she was going to be a pain.

“Shut up and do it,” I was waving to her and cursing through my teeth.

“Now, now, I’ll answer some questions,” mustache-mayor pony reassured me.

“Okay then,” she began, “are the ponies escorting the water armed? Was the offending party armed? How many were there? What kind of power were they packing? Why do you need to trade for water anyway? What do you use to trade for the water? How long has this been going on? How much does water cost?” Her list of inquiries went on and on. Both the mayor and I stopped listening and whinnied under our breath every few minutes after she asked how much water costed per cc. I was going to have to slap her here pretty soon.

He answered her first questions, which seemed the most intelligible, “Yes, they were armed. Both sides of the conflict. I don’t know– two guards and a trader with his pack brahmin. I don’t have a clue how many the attackers had with them. The caravaneers had rifles and pistols. The others appear to be using magical energy weapons of some kind. We need water ‘cause we don’t live near one o’ the pure lakes or rivers around the area; this is one of the few places where you can find pure natural water in the Equestrian wasteland. We use bottlecaps, like any other place in Equestria. Otherwise, we trade our junk. The traders don’t care, they’ll buy or sell anything. This has been happening for the last two an’ a half weeks or so. It costs roughly 300 caps a barrel,” the word “bottlecap” raised even more questions.

“What’s a bottlecap? You mean like from a sparkle cola? We’re dirt poor, if that’s true. What’s somethin’ small like this steak cost?” she had a list of questions, and again, our host ignored most of them and only answered the first few.

His string of answers was concise and didn’t hold back any feelings of annoyance, “Yes, a bottlecap, like from a sparkle cola. I knew you probably wouldn’t have any to your name when you got here. You can trade for some down at the general store. She might have it open by now. This steak here could cost anywhere between 15 and 35 caps, depending on how good of a talker you are. I got the deal on that water down a hundred fifty caps,” he showed his pride at that statement, “if you really feel like you need to, try your hoof at sellin’ your wares down at Shelly’s Bric-a-Brac store. You’re bound to have somethin’ worth a few caps.” He gave me one final look before taking our plates back to his sink, “anyone ever tell you you look really odd in that coat with that hat?” I shrugged, but something about his speech pattern caught my attention.

After a minute or so of staring down at my hoofs, I realized he’d said ‘anyone,’ instead of ‘anypony.’ That was... different. It must have been due to different vocal pattern evolution on the surface in a spread out community versus a compact society like a stable. Before Law came back to give us more details about what we’d be doing, my head filled with all sorts of ideas about whether everypony talked like that on the surface, or if it was just particular areas. I would have to have a looksee at the other populations.

“I can see where you get that, but I think it fits my title. Even if it was on short notice,” he turned back to me. Iridescence sat in silence.

“You might want to find something better than that. It gets mighty chilly in this part of Equestria. Also it won’t do much for stopping bullets from bitin’ ya in the ass,” he laughed at his own comment, “but I digress. I’ll need you to set up early tomorrow morning eastward. The trader’ll be comin’ from that direction at about seven. Disaster tends to strike at around seven fifteen. I don’t know what kind of barding they’ll be wearing, but that pistol of yours looks to be pretty souped-up. Your friend’s 10mm should suffice. I’ll have you sleep at my house, and you can have a look around town until then. Do you have the time?” he finished.

I glanced down at my pipbuck, noon on the dot. He nodded.

“You’ve got plenty o’ time to meet the townsfolk. Just don’t scare ‘em away,” our host was in a friendly mood as he led us out. The first thing I wanted to do, was to check and see what I could buy and sell at the shop. I hoped it was open.

A look to my left and right showed the entirety of Sunset. It was impressive to me, that all these ponies were living on their own in small buildings. They were like dorm rooms, except separate, and each pony had to buy or work for them. It sounded like the remaining 12 of stable 34 would be let off easy. It was just a two minute walk down to the shop that had once said, “sorry, I’m closed,” (a strange way of letting others know that a trading post was unavailable for dealings and business.) In place of the sign, there was a window with tattered curtains, there more for effect than for privacy, I gathered.

Iridescence led the way in, plodding in as if to say, “hi there, I’ll be a constant annoyance while I’m here!” The grey earth pony at the counter rubbed his eyes. She looked to me, then back to the grey-pink pony in front of her. Back to me, this time her eyes asking for an explanation.

The owner started, “she always like this?” I was getting that a lot today. As if I was the official on her behaviour.

“Pretty much, yeah,” I responded with a subdued tone, “don’t mind her, it’s just,” I screwed up my face, thinking of the right words, “I have commodities I wish to trade with you in return for bottlecaps,” my speech was deliberate, attempting to impress the mare in hopes I might not be scammed as I surmised it would be easy to do with those inexperienced with haggling and whatnot. I had no notion of what I was supposed to be doing.

My partner kept wearing her stupid smile, “okay, then,” she looked at me, and I could tell she was stifling a laugh. Was it my clothes or what I said? I hoped I didn’t mess it up, “show me them ‘commodities’ and I’ll see what I c’n do,” a wry smile on her face. I took out half the paste food and showed it to her.

“This was supposed to last us while we did what we had to and returned to our stable, though I believe it may help to have some more caps on hand, see? I think a pretty young mare like yourself could understand. You’re obviously far more experienced, and already know that one must have caps to live, am I correct?” I was trying to be meticulous about everything I said, using every angle I could get on her to see that I got the most good out of this. Though, my last question was more honest than I let on. I had a suspicion that caps were fairly important in somepony’s life in the wasteland, but I wasn’t completely sure, “it never goes bad, and you can’t complain about the taste. Every packet comes with a small cardboard box of water, and a mix packet for orange juice,” I added. I didn’t think anypony up here had ever had an orange, much less seen food that was good for them, and didn’t expire.

The mare behind the counter couldn’t hold it back any longer. It wasn’t a gut-shaking guffawing like I had expected, but rather a giggling that wouldn’t settle. She had to have been around my age, but her voice was similar to somepony’s like Iridescence’, “oh, aren’t you a charmer! Haven’t had someone like you in my store for a good long while, now,” she thought about it while my partner and I stared in complete silence, “actually, I’ve never had such an alluring li’l buck in here before! You flirt like you know you can get me,” that wasn’t my intended effect, “alright, I’ll see about yer food there. Those look a bit like MRE’s but,” she ripped one open with her teeth, “yep, these have... juice boxes with water in ‘em,” she squeezed some into a container with the orange juice mix and slurped it down after stirring it, “these come with a few perks,” she tried some of the food, “it doesn’t taste too wonderful, but it’s not as bad as half the shit I eat every day,” she gave it a moment, scribbling sloppily with a pen in her mouth on a strip of old paper from what I guessed to be the index page a pre-war book, “665 caps, no more. That’ll practically clean out all my money, but ponies’ll be linin’ up to get their hooves on this!” she asserted.

There was a stillness that filled the room after the trader-pony’s burst of energy. I didn’t know how to react; if that was a good deal or not. That food took up more than half my inventory space and was really just a nuisance, “ta clarify, that’s about 17 caps a piece,” she interjected. I’d take it.

“Alrighty, then. miz...?” I waited for her response.

“Tulip, thanks for asking,” she smirked.

“My name’s Iridescence!” the aforementioned pony exclaimed.

“We accept your offer, but I’d just like to let you know, I didn’t mean to sound like I was flirting with you,” I stopped and amended, “that’s not to say you aren’t actually a real looker!” The pony I was speaking with perked up at this. I had said something I would either come to regret, or become thankful of decidedly quickly.

“You jist come on down whenever ya feel like it and I’ll treat you right. Don’t you worry about that,” she looked at me complacently. I wasn’t confident saying it was good or bad just yet, but a gut feeling told me to just go with the flow.

“I will. Thank you,” I tipped my hat and she laughed again. It was an entertaining little titter that could’ve been recognized anywhere in Equestria. She handed me a bag of caps and showed what she had for sale: bits and pieces of circuitry and cogs that didn’t belong anywhere in particular. An expensive something or other called a spark battery, ammunition for Iridescence’ weapon and mine, (of which, I bought 25 caps worth of each), pencils, clipboards, old books, chems, and baseball bats. And of course, the food I’d just sold her. She was one hell of an opportunist.

She told me halfway through browsing her selection that she could fix a few things for the right price. Naturally, I paid 170 caps for her to fix the weapon from parts she retrieved from the back. As a bonus, she let us know that we could always swap out the better parts from other weapons of the same model to replace the worn down ones in our own. She did not, however, show or tell us how we were supposed to go about doing that.

I may have been able to pick up a thing or two about it had I been watching. But I wasn’t. My attention drifted, as it seemed to do often, elsewhere. By the time she had finished, I had catalogued the inside of the little shop entirely. Sunset Trading Post in its entirety. Empty bottles in a corner by an old refrigerator. Boxes stacked high to one side of the room. The red wood counter, covered in dust and nik-naks, accented the room, giving it a natural feel. You could see her bedroom from where I was, “name’s Tulip, by th’ way,” Tulip said, “I may have already told ya, but my memory’s never been very good, I’m kind of a ditz,” at least she knows her own flaws.

“Yes, you’ve already told us, thank you. It sounds nice to hear you say it, all the same,” that got her cheeks to flush red, and she giggled again. Iridescence was rolling her eyes while I cooly let Tulip go about her business of making sure everything was as it should be.

“I’m payin’ ya for the one I sampled, too, just ta let ya know. Also...” there was a brief silence, “I want you to have this. No one else has come in to get it in all of the three years I’ve had it, so... here ya go!” she turned around and grabbed something off the shelf. Something I hadn’t noticed before. It was... something, that was for sure, “it’s a scope for your pistol thingy, there!” Tulip sounded well-nigh enraptured as she slackened her grip on it while my magic took form around it. It slid right into place on OW. Now I wouldn’t just have to estimate where the shot would exit.

My partner didn’t say a word, but I sure did, “thank you, thank you, thank you! A thousand times thank you. May you be blessed by Luna and Celestia both!” this had pretty much made my day. I didn’t know why.

“It’s nothin’!” she laughed, “just helpin’ ya get around an’ all that. Your friend’s suit says it all!” she must have been referring to how wrecked Iridescence’ stable barding looked, “actually, for 100 caps, I’ll let ya have this,” the mauve pony pulled out a bulky black and dark blue leather jacket with blue heavy twill leggings. It wasn’t much, but it was already looking better than what Iridescence had on. I took it.

We left with Iridescence having some wind and bullet resistant barding, and I had a free addition to Octavia’s Wrath. It was only two, so the next thing I wanted to do was visit the clinic. Just a skip hop and a jump away. Literally. After knocking on the door, I got a quaint, “was that you making Tulip laugh?” I nodded and he smiled, letting us in, “Celestia help that girl. She’s never happy,” the white maned unicorn turned around, his voice old and weary. The stereotypical old doctor in a small town. It was exactly how my books had described it would be.

The doctor continued, “well, this is my, er, clinic. If you can call it that. I take it you’re here because you need fixin’ up, right? O’ course you do. Youngin’s are always gettin’ shot at. Well then, turn your head and cough,” I turned around, shocked, and the old stallion sniggered at his own joke, “heh, you ponies are what’s after me, huh? Can’t even take a joke,” I was about to protest, but was promptly cut off by the doctor’s rambling, “but seriously, call me Shrapnel, and lemme see what’s wrong with ya,” he rubbed his hooves together. He didn’t have a stove in the room, so it was a bit cold. The window showed the same intricate, white patterns the restaurant I’d slept in the other night had had. The wooden floorboards creaked under hoof, and it smelled just like healing potions.

He made me take off my coat, and Iridescence let him know that she still had a bullet lodged in her leg, “so, actually, I just came here to familiarize myself with everypony, and you were next on my list of ponies I wanted to meet,” I clarified.

My companion butted in, “yeah, and I came here to get this thing out of me!” Shrapnel stopped examining me and pulled up Iridescence’ legging.

“Well that’s very nice of you to say, Doctor. My, it’s strange calling someone else Doctor. Oh, and yes, I know who you are. I figured that was you the minute you knocked on my door. I listen to the DJ’s radio show every night and morning, and you were on. He never mentions the Pony Feathers Region. Maybe you understand, now, why I paid so much attention to your part of the broadcast. Maybe not. Maybe I’m just talkin’ so it doesn’t make sense to no one,” he stopped when he found the lead, enclosed just below my partner’s knee cap, “darn, filly, aren’t you lucky!” he said with a whistle, “just an inch higher and you wouldn’t be walkin’ anymore!” I’ll have that out in a second. He took out some Med-X, jabbed it in her leg with an ‘eep’ and pulled out a scalpel and tweezers. She looked away.

“Do you think you could tell me a bit about yourself?” I inquired.

“You bet I can. For days at a time,” Shrapnel chuckled and turned to the task at hand, “I came from a stable, too. You’re from 34, I’m from 12. I don’t even remember where that is anymore. Either of ‘em. I explored for a time, of course, just as you are now. I found myself patching my friends up more times than I could shake a police baton at. Eventually, we found ourselves in Crescent Moon Canyon. We encountered changelings. I don’t remember much after that. My most recent memory of that was waking up on a bed in this very room, almost three decades ago, friends dead or lost or captured by the damned things. No note, no nothin’. I did what came naturally after that, fixin’ up other ponies. If I had two caps for every pony I’ve treated over the last thirty years, I’d be one of the richest in the wasteland. That being said, this is free. First time’s on the house,”

“Sounds like a repressed memory,” I thought aloud, Iridescence fighting back tears while sitting on a checkup table.

“Maybe so, but I don’t know if I ever want to know about it again. I’ve learned to accept what happened. I don’t need to relive it. I don’t have nightmares or anything, and even if my friends were alive, I’ve probably outlasted them by now. If you could find ‘em though... or even just their corpse, that’d be swell,” he concluded. He wrapped some bandages around the pink pony’s leg and moved on to me. While he poked and prodded me, there was a long silence.

“Do you um, have anything that needs done in this town?” I felt like I should be doing something.

“I saw you fix the signs. Those things were bothering me, too. Thank ya kindly fer that. But if nothin’ else, we do have that schoolhouse on the edge o’ town that needs to be cleaned out. Got some pests n’ things that like to make themselves a nice li’l home there. Be careful, though,” Shrapnel warned, “they have a nasty bite.”

Shrapnel sounded facetious to me. Iridescence, on the other hoof, took heed and turned to me, her eyes telling me not to go there. At least, not with her. It was broad daylight, I wanted to do something while waiting for tomorrow’s escapade. Three days out, and I’d already accomplished more now than I ever had before! I’d even gotten used to the looming sky. My fear of falling upward was brief, and would no longer pose an issue to my psyche. My pink compatriot didn’t seem so used to being outside yet. I loved it out here. Even if it did get boring sometimes.

“Oh,” Shrapnel stopped us, “the next one’s not on the house. I’m happy ta help, but I need to make a livin’, and the way I hear your bags jinglin’, you just made a lot of money. I’m just sayin’,” he turned around and let us go on our way. Ponies up here were awfully strange like that.

^^^***^^^

From where we were, at the top of a hill on the westernmost side of Sunset, one could still see all the other buildings, but that didn’t mean one did not feel distant from everypony else. While helping Cauliflower and all the others from 34 was my top priority, I wouldn’t bother walking all the way back without both an escort party, and the knowledge that they would be welcome on this convenient little town. (It’s a rare day when everything is practically handed to me. Oh yes, being one of the most influential figures in the stable was so difficult.) The foreseeable outcome was favourable and it had happened so much more quickly than I thought it would! Living out here was easy. You’ve been out here for three days...

The schoolhouse had been a place that gave me the impression it was too broken down inside for me to give a damn. The door was wind-torn and had cracks running all over it. I found it hard to believe it was still holding up. 200 years hadn’t had near the effect I thought it would on these pony-made constructions. The brown, plank siding was in a state of severe disrepair. The only organisms that might bother living in there would not, most assuredly, by ponies.

Just as I had made these observations, my comrade looking apprehensively from behind me, about a dozen red bars sprung to life on my E.F.S. I swivelled my head until I saw them. Little insects crawling out from holes in the foundation. Make that big insects. A bit bigger than the radroaches we’d crushed earlier. Green things that looked as though they were praying. I’d read about these somewhere...

“Look at those!” I exclaimed, “what in Equestria?” the question was rhetorical, but I was reasonably interested in what they mutated from. The name was on the tip of my tongue. At the sound of my voice, however, they started making a beeline toward us, “Um, shoot?” I wasn’t sure if using ammo was worth it.

We opened fire, each of the green bugs scuttling across the wasteland floor in our direction only fifteen or so ponies away. They weren’t terribly fast, and didn’t have any outstandingly outlandish movement patterns. One shot each was all it took to get rid of them for me. Iridescence would take two or three shots, crippling their extremities first before hitting anything vital. Each shot tearing through them. It was nice to watch (a little twisted of me, I’ll admit), but I liked my little energy weapon. It felt... clean.

But I digress: by the time we had finished off all of the insects, Iridescence was down to her last six clips. I made a mental note to get her more after we were done with this. There were definitely more of the little Nightmare Moons in there for me to get at. While Iridescence hesitated at every step, I hopped on up there and shoved the door open with all my strength (not that much, I soon found out).

Not too much in there. It was about as destroyed on the inside as it looked outside. There were lockers, desks, school supplies in the form of dust, a safe behind the teacher’s terminal, and, oh yeah. Lots of those little fuckers. About 30 little red beacons showed up on my E.F.S. I wish I’d thought of sneaking in there, now.

“Um,” I wasn’t sure what I could say, “ponyfeathers,” I would rue the day I decided to come out here. Within seconds, green praying bugs were all on me at once. My partner hadn’t come in yet, so she was safe. But I wasn’t. It turned out that their claws were Luna-damned sharp! They tore some fair sized gashes in my lab coat and skin.

I bucked and yelped, but it didn’t do anything but fling a few off here and there. They were cutting up my legs and coat somethin’ fierce, and Iridescence couldn’t do anything but watch, afraid she’d shoot me. (I’d seen her shoot a raider accurately from a hundred feet, why couldn’t she hit these things from ten?) There were on my sides, and crawling all over me. It was going to be too much for me to ignore in a few seconds. I thrashed about until I got an idea.

I’m not very intelligent when I need to be. I forget I have a horn sometimes; I never really used magic for anything other than menial tasks. I used my telekinesis to make them all weightless. I then proceeded to fling them across the room until they gained momentum and let go. A wonderful, satisfying splat resounded throughout the room. I could have my moments of genius.

The second that ordeal was over with, I trotted contentedly into the heart of the room, nary an E.F.S. marker to be seen. Upon further inspection, somepony had drug a duffle bag to one end of the room. 9mm, 10mm, and 12.7mm (what?) bullets and casings were abundant, as well as scraps of old clothes. My pipbuck did an excellent job of cataloguing all of them. I took all the bullets back to my off-pink friend waiting at the door, considering I wasn’t going to be using them any time soon, and there were enough 10mm bullets to last a long time. I didn’t even bother checking how many there were; hoof-full upon hoof-full of each type was all I needed to know.

I motioned for Iridescence to come in, the safe beckoned. The typeface was still glowing, power still remained in the computer as well. It appeared that both were running on their backup spell matrixes. The floor creaked and groaned, wind whipping the sides of the house. Iridescence tried and tried to open the locked container. (It was a safe, I didn’t even bother just trying to open it.) She broke three bobby pins before grunting in disappointment. I had been watching her all the while, ignoring the tears in my flesh.

The computer had been locked as well, but in the time it took my companion to give up, I figured out that I could try my hoof at cracking the code. I had never been terrible at getting into my father’s when I wanted to change schedules for a laugh or two, so why not a teacher’s terminal?

Iridescence watched me over my shoulder. Like the annoying little sister you never had. (Could have had, had the previous overmare not put rules into place against that, but what could you do?) I picked out the duds in the program. The password was only five characters long, and after I was done finding the fakes with the help of my pipbuck, there were only eight words to choose from. I studied each word carefully. Teach. There was a soft log-in sound and I was brought to the main menu.

There were three selections I could make: ‘safe status’, ‘safe lock’, and ‘grades.’ I didn’t know what it was, but something got me to look at the grades first. “Old World Blues,” Cauliflower had warned. Too bad for her, I wanted to see this. Iridescence groaned in disgruntlement.

Somepony in particular named Floret had a note by her name, which I took the time to read aloud, “She’s managed to disrupt the class at every chance she gets! I don’t get paid enough for this, HONESTLY! Yesterday, she brought her Luna-damned robot toy for the fillies and colts to ride, which is all fine and dandy until she demands to bring it in the classroom while it rains! It was such a distraction to the class. Really, I don’t give two bucks if her family is rich and everything, she needs to learn how to work in a classroom setting. She’s barely passing her classes!”

Math– D
Equestrian– D
Writing– B
History– D
Arcane Science– C

“Why do you even bother with that stuff, anyway?” my mock-sister asked, “it’s not yours to know about, and it’s completely pointless to learn about a dead pony,” while she may have had a point, I had a right– or rather, lack of any law– telling me that I couldn’t look at dead ponies’ things. I backed out and checked “safe status.”

“OPEN” flashed on the screen in the upper left-hoof corner. I glanced backward toward the safe mounted on the wall. I reached my magic out and pulled the handle up. Click. It popped open, “oh, of-fucking-course!” I thundered. Iridescence facehoofed and I looked inside. Toy chariots, a dusty sparkle cola, a rusty key: now useless. Old magazines, a dead black thing that must have been an apple at one point. One of the magazines was something called Wingboner. I ignored it. Iridescence took it. I looked the other way while she flipped through the pages, a few sticking so that she had to work to pry them apart. Disgusting. I took the key and cola. I have no idea why I took the key. A momento of sorts, possibly.

I didn’t know what was in the magazine the perverted filly that was my companion picked up had in it, but something told me it was mostly mares. I could have been wrong, and I didn’t ask questions. The lockers would either open right up, or would stick so that no matter how much you tried, it wouldn’t budge. Mostly the latter. Inside were decomposing notebooks and school supplies, and a stray jacket or two. A medical box on a counter next to a dead computer with a few empty (but sterile) syringes, a healing potion, and some water that, when near my pipbucked clicked slowly. I took the syringes and drank the healing potion. My wounds closed up, but my barding sure didn’t. I was pretty sure the lead lining could have stopped a low calibre bullet, but the bug’s pincers were most likely sharp enough to rip a hole in a thin sheet of metal.

All-in-all, my experiences of the wasteland in the last several days had been painful. Mostly physically, but they were nonetheless painful. “Let’s go talk to Shrapnel, how ‘bout?” I asked Iridescence. I wanted to let him know that I got this done so that nopony had to worry about this place any more. Then I wanted to talk with the pegasus I saw in the window of the meeting hub.

“Mmmokay,” she contemplated, “I wanna go talk to the ponies in the bar. They had some pretty funny conversations going on in there!” Her comment was a bit strange, but I shrugged and went along with it. The wind had picked back up, and dirt was beginning to blot out the light what remained from the sun. My pipbuck said it was late afternoon, but I felt it was closer to evening.

After walking just a ways into town, we saw ponies walking out of the bar with masks on. The first pony we came to, I asked why he was wearing it. “To keep the dust outa my lungs! You’d best get one, yerself, or head back home,” Why hadn’t anypony told me about this? We ran back to Tulip’s shop. Upon entering, she was wearing an apologetic, sheepish grin.

“I er, uh,” she faltered, “I kinda forgot ta,” the mare couldn’t seem to finish her sentence.

“Give us some masks?” I finished.

“Yeah. Um, one second I know I have some here, somewhere,” she bustled around in the back. Her room, that detail caught my attention for the second time today. She emerged with two of them in her mouth, dangling from straps that were designed to go around one’s head, “these are free. I don’t know what n’ Equestria I was thinkin’ when I let you run off without ‘em. I’m so sorry,” she blushed a crimson red. It looked cute on her.

“Don’t mention it. Everypony makes mistakes, even me, as perfect as I am,” I rolled my eyes. Tulip giggled as we left the shop.

Iridescence and I slipped the masks around our head. A little blocky, maybe, but the air felt more breathable. Something I hadn’t paid much attention while I was out here. “Would you not flirt with old mares like that. At least not in front of me?” the pink pony beside me glared through the metal device covering most of her face.

I didn’t think I was flirting with her. Though this made two ponies saying the same thing, now. I didn’t defend myself, my thoughts too conflicting and confusing to make a rebuttal. I stared ahead and walked through the storm in the direction of the doctor’s house.

I knocked twice and he let me in, closing the door behind me as quickly as he could, careful not to let much sand blow in. “Howdy!” He greeted us. One look at my lab barding and he raised an eyebrow, “you didn’t, y’know, get clawed half to death out there, didja? I told you ta be careful,” if I had been alive to see my grandfather, I hoped he was something like this– voice simultaneously old and frivolous.

“No, no, he just got sliced up by an army of bugs,” Iridescence chided in annoyed reassurance. I had never seen such an odd combination of emotions, “it’s clear now, though. Nothing left but an old house. Just... took care of everything for you.”

Shrapnel was starting to give her nettled looks, “woah, woah, woah. Easy, I don’t hold any resentment toward anypony because of what happened. The whole ordeal could’ve been avoided with more planning. I don’t plan, you’ll have to forgive me,” I gave my best apologetic smile.

“I don’t take any offence, though I’d say what your friend said is a bit rude. You should make sure she doesn’t bring that attitude with her elsewhere, it could get her shot,” he had sincere concern in his voice. I worried he was right.

“We’ll make sure to keep that in mind, thank you very much!” I don’t think I could have thanked him enough, “I’ll make sure not to be so stupid in the future! Goodbye,” out meeting was brief, but I wanted to talk with the feathered pony before nightfall. The wind was keeping up its incessant howls and constant barrage against the windows.

We trotted out to the bar in the centre of the town. The curtains had been drawn. We’d had those in 34, but they served little purpose– there was a camera in every room. The door slammed opened with a gust of air, letting everypony know we were there before I could introduce myself. They looked up at us, then went back to their business.

Iridescence shyed away from most of the ponies. She stood in the corner near the door while I sought out the winged pony I’d seen earlier. It wasn’t hard to find her. The window was dirty.

I saw her mane, a creamy orange, streaking down into white toward the end. Facing away from me at a booth, mug of white something or other in a bottle. Only her head was visible when approaching her, leaned over her table. She looked half-asleep. Everypony else ignored me while I stood behind this pony, not completely sure how to make her aware of my presence. I edged my way closer until I saw that were wings were deformed. She’d been in a fight or something– they appeared to be half burned, half melted off, but intact enough to maybe lift off from the ground.

I reached out to tap her shoulder– battle-worn, but feminine. I was stopped by another strangely mustached stallion, “don’t bother her, she’s been through enough. She’s experienced more in her lifetimes than anyone else could ever imagine,” wait, lifetimes...

“Lifetime–zuh?” What did he mean? It took me by surprise (things were doing that a lot, lately,) that he said it so clearly and calmly.

The black and orange earth pony answered, “yes, plural. She’s a ghoul, don’t scream when you see ‘er face,” he chuckled to himself and his friends at the table, “but I’ll bet he will anyway,” I ignored him, now curious about his description of the mare before me.

When she started to turn before I even touched her, it startled me. I jumped, however, when I saw her face. She wore a frown, though her eyes showed no sadness, just boredom and experience... those milky, white eyes, “OH–hiii there!” The stallion that had just warned me laughed obnoxiously from his side of the room.

“Evening. You’re the first pony to show up here fresh and new, see my face, and not run in a while. You jumped, but everyone does that,” there was a brief pause, “it is evening, isn’t it?” I showed her my pipbuck to confirm that it was, indeed, just starting to become ‘evening,’ “huh, I’ve slept another day away, oh, well. That’s fine.” Her voice was gruff, but young.

“You, uhhh– you’re...” I started,

“Beautiful? Yes, yes I am,” her dry, deeply scarred and melted face curved upward in something like a smile.

“Hmm. I agree: I think that, at the very least, you possess a great deal of inner beauty,” I nickered as she nodded in vague agreement, “you seem to be wise, but you look very young, would I be correct?” I won’t lie, I was kind of bullshitting my way into her trust.

I slid into the seat across from her; the sun was now sinking below the horizon, creating a beautiful pastel purple haze. I was already getting used to her appearance. It wasn’t as though there had never been accidents in 34. Especially when I was on duty, “don’t let my charm and good looks fool you, I’m older than you think,” she laughed. Iridescence started edging her way toward us, “If you really wanna know, I’ve been around since before you were born.” An idea was beginning to form in my head about who this pony really was.

“Have you been in any bad fights?” I asked, “I don’t mean to sound rude, or brash, but you look the part of a war-torn corpse from one of my textbooks,” I didn’t think she’d take offense, and she didn’t.

Iridescence slid past me and sat to my left in the booth while the milky orange pegasus was busy laughing, “yeah, a few,” she wiped a speck of dust from her eye as though it were a tear, “see this?” she pointed to her face, “I got this one while there was a war goin’ on!” Another war since the one that shoved everypony underground?

“There was a war recently?” The dirty-pink pony next to me watched intensively while I spoke, others in the bar had turned to see as well, “I thought we would have worn ourselves out after the last one, I wish I had a notebook and pencil right about now!” the thought of learning about the post-history of Equestria was so very appealing at that moment.

“If by recently, you mean in terms of the creation of a planet, then yes. But I suspect you mean in the last few decades. No. I don’t think you quite grasp how old I really am. I want you to guess. 3 times. That’s your limit,” she crossed her arms and smirked, her dry lips flaking as they rubbed against one another.

“Thirty?”

“Nope.”

“Fifty?”

“Uh-uh.”

“Seventy? There’s no way you’re older than that!”

She sighed, “all right, all right,” she rubbed her chin with her hoof, “multiply your first guess by 7 and you’re dead on,” my heart almost stopped.

“YOU’RE TWO-HUNDRED AND TEN YEARS OLD?!” everyone in the building had stopped talking and looked right at me. Iridescence hid her face with her hooves, as if to say that she wasn’t there, wasn’t with me.

She snickered and went on ahead as though it were normal, “and don’chew forget it!” when she was done having fun making me feel awkward she yelled to the owner, “get us some absinthe! Ahm runnin’ low, and my friends here need it to calm down a touch. And don’t forget the sugar!”

The bartender floated out three cups, a bottle with some strange, blackish fluid in it, and a bowl of white grainy something. ‘Sugar in the bowl, the absinthe stuff in the bottle,’ I gathered from looking at our new friend’s drink. Were we friends?

“You see this?” she brought out a spoon with holes in it, “you put the sugar in the spoon– you do know what sugar is, don’t you?” I nodded and Iridescence followed my lead, “mkay, good. Don’t eat it, though. Then pour this,” she lifted up the bottle with her wing. Her wing. Her. Wing. I had never even thought that was possible! She stopped and stared at the stupid look that I was wearing and continued pouring over the sugar into her new cup, “into your glass. It’s alcoholic, but it sure tastes better than that pisswater beer or that painful whiskey,” she stopped when it was three fourths full and drank half of it down, “and what are you staring at?” she looked to me, everypony else having gone back to their conversations.

“Um, nothing. Nothing. Just ignore me. I’m just being stupid. I do that a lot,” I tried convincing her.

“Not still staring at my face, are you?” her inquiries were becoming more straightforward.

“No. It’s, uh, well. I’ve just never seen a wing used like that. I’ve seen a pegasus before, using your wing as an appendage is just something new to me, is all.”

“Oh, that’s alright then. I s’pose I should’ve known, okay then.” she looked back to her mug and threw back her head, the white liquid going down her throat. When she put it back down, she started to refill her glass, “I don’t haffta eat or drink, but it’s nice to taste something every once in awhile. Trivia for the day, I guess,” she went back to her task and I turned to Iridescence, pouring her second glass of the sweet-smelling nightcap.

I turned to the owner and asked why she got a new glass so that . I was accustomed to recycling things as much as possible, “i’s Sunrise, she alwaysh gesh a new glash. She dezerves i’– helt huild ziss hlace!” he replied enthusiastically while scrubbing plates. So her name was Sunrise.

I let flow the last bit of the absinthe through a pile of sugar into my cup as the sky completely darkened, save for a murky white ball in the sky. We sat in relative silence for a while, downing mug after mug of absinthe. It was the first time I’d ever had alcohol. It tasted like candy.

^^^***^^^

Iridescence lay passed out in the booth, and I was swaying side to side. Sunrise was still perfectly fine though. Most of the customers had left already. It was just us and one or two more, and I couldn’t have felt more at home. A warm feeling had spread through my body somewhere after the third serving. I knew exactly why this Sunrise pegasus would like it so much.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, Tock. A clock had been ticking away somewhere in the room without my noticing until now. Sapphire shores was singing about something or other that was once, long ago, sad and relatable to many stallions and mares. I sighed and looked to the sky. Pitch-black now. The lights from the mayor’s and doctor’s still running. I had one last question for the sugared absinthe and morning coloured mare.

“Any reason yer name so accurately c’ntras’s that of the town’s? Is zat a coincide-ence er what?” Sunrise looked at me and addressed me sternly,

“I do not have anything to do with this town’s history, other than building a few houses here and there. Do not associate me with this place.” I chuckled and agreed to never speak of it again.

I dragged Iridescence behind me through the storm, back to Doc Shrapnel’s place. I sat Iridescence down next to me and put the blanket over both of us, the fire going out. I blinked once, and I was out.

The rest of that night had been, and always will be, a blur.

^^^***^^^

When I awoke, the sun wasn’t even up. I hadn’t been out a week, and already I was turning into an alcoholic; my head was pounding, my mouth was dry, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I rubbed my eyes and cantered off to the bathroom before emptying my stomach. Taking off the mask and relieving myself, I found that the toilet didn’t work. Shit. The absinthe tasted far worse than it did going down. I could stand some more.

I sat down hard on the floor in front of the furnace, and the doctor came down to greet me, “Ah hope yer up t’ do this. Heard you were partyin’ with Sunrise ‘till about midnight, last night. Props for gettin’ in with her, but gettin’ in a drinkin’ contest probably wasn’t for the best,” he frowned down at me, “I’ll give you a li’l somethin’ for yer headache, anyway,” he trotted back to his room for a second. I felt like I’d swallowed the moon after I’d crushed it into glass shards.

When Shrapnel emerged, he was carrying a tin in his mouth. Fixer. How nice. The label said everything I needed, and I took it from him, opened the tin, and ingested two tablets without reading the instructions. I knew how much I was supposed to take, anyway. My headache and liver pains were gone almost immediately. I thought I might even be able to eat something, “how does paste and orange juice sound thi’smornin’?” Suddenly, I wasn’t in the mood to eat anymore, “I got it from Tulip last night just as she was closin’. ‘specialty item of the night,’ she said. I got first pick! Hay an’ daisy flavour!” the only two flavours we had in 34.

I shook my head and instead took out a box of dandy buck apples from my bags. These would do just fine. Finishing off our breakfasts, we woke up Iridescence. 06:40. She woke with a start and rushed off toward the bathroom until I stopped her, “the toilet doesn’t work,” Shrapnels eyes showed concern as to how I know that. She changed direction and ran outside and stayed there for five long minutes. We gave her a tablet and she perked up.

When I presented to her her very own box of apples, she was beyond even the word ecstatic. While demolishing her box, I stared blankly across the room.

“Don’t drink fer a while. I think y’ave alcohol poisoning,” no fucking way. I had no idea. Thanks for the update. “And fixer doesn’t get rid of your illnesses, it just makes your symptoms go away for a while so you can focus,” that was news to me. Most likely because I’d never had to give it to somepony before. I just knew it made you feel better, “better take that with ya, just in case,” he winked and led us upstairs. On the way up, while my hooves came up, I saw that somepony had fixed my barding. I didn’t know who, when, or how, but I was thankful it was done, “I’d like to give you a test. Just ta see if yer still all there in the head. I’m just gonna warn you now that I don’t have anything to go off of, so. Yeah,” he sat down in an old, red chair, and let my partner and I sit on the couch adjacent of him.

“So what do we do, now?” I asked, ready to do this before we had to go.

“I’ll make it quick: do you know what your cutie mark means? You don’t have to tell me, A simple yes or no will suffice,” he spoke without his typical slur and accent.

“Yes.”

“Okay, now I’m going to say a word. I want you to say the first thing that comes to mind. One word, please,” I nodded in response, “hell hound.” my responses came quickly– no hesitation.

“Hide,” They killed everypony else in 34, so of course!

“House.”

“Target.” At this point, I had to acknowledge that I was sort of a dark individual.

“Night.”

“Sleep,” duh!

“Bandit.”

“Reasonable,” Why not?

“Light.”

“Beam,” flashlight?

“Mother.”

“Caretaker.” My answer actually would have ended with ‘and overmare,’ but he asked for one word.

“That’s all I wanna ask you about fer now. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t completely nuts. You’re good. At least for now, wasteland does a lot to ponies’ minds,” Doc Shrapnel was an interesting pony, “I have a feel fer who y’are now. That’s good,” I hmmed, “Your friend looks too young to do a psychological evaluation on. No ‘fense dear,” she shrugged and hopped off the couch, “looks like ya just got yer cutie mark.”

It was time to roll.

^^^***^^^

It was seven o’ clock when we got there: where the road started to stretch out of town, the only other (marked) way in besides the path I took. There wasn’t any wind anymore, but it was freezing! The sun was well over the horizon, but the sky wasn’t grey-green yet. I yearned for a thermometer or something to tell me the temperature. I just wanted to document everything!

I felt kind of ridiculous, standing out there in a labcoat and adventurer’s hat. Maybe that would be my gimmick. We sat still, looking out across the road, waiting for the caravan to come. All was quiet, and I had little to do but think to myself. I was a long way from home, but it didn’t feel like it. Was 34 really my home? Or was it just some form of shelter I’d been told was my home? The bar felt more like my home than 34 ever did. I gazed into space, considering which I’d rather call my asylum.

I’d made up my mind. This new world. This would be my home now. Everywhere. It was like one big stable without boundaries, without corridors you could trace up and down ten times and not waste a day. I felt at peace. I would, in all likelihood, die here. At home. Such a strange word: so many meanings.

Just a little early: 07:14. The traders could be seen coming around a bend. There was a low cliff off to their right, the way they were coming in, but nowhere else to hide. I wasn’t sure how anypony could attack them and get away with their stuff. But there was the evidence: tin cans, broken bottles, barrels full of melted holes. I gulped down two more Fixers as my headache started to creep back.

The radio didn’t have anything on at the moment, flipping back and forth between channels did little to ease my ennui. The... what the hay was that thing? A two-headed... cow? But the skin looked raw from where I was. A mutation caused by decades of sped-up evolution by radiation, maybe. There were three ponies in the group, all headed our way. It taking ‘em a while, but they were a-comin’.

Any minute now. 07:19, 07:20, 07:21. They were just a couple hundred yards away. Iridesence was clicking her tongue, Law was sitting, humming to himself. We hadn’t slept at his house like he’d said we could, but something told me I’d rearranged our modus vivendi, even if I didn’t remember it.

I was staring at the ground so hard I half expected it to start shrinking away from my hooves when it happened. Not more than one stable soccer field away, ponies rushed in from a hole in the cliff in a line. Despite the small size of their group, they still looked tough. Like, Tunnel Hydras tough. (Goddess, I hated them!)

Law sprung into action and whipped out his pistol, firing off a rapid succession of flying, hot lead. It was louder than I remembered a gun could be! I jumped at the first, and cringed at the other shots. Iridesence had run behind me. The bandits started shooting the convoy.

Pulling out Octavia’s Wrath, I targeted two of the six shooting. I wasn’t happy with my low chance of hitting their body parts. I came back out and aimed manually. Zth, zzt, zzt. One was rolling in pain, his neck scorched black with the two hits that landed. Before I knew it, Law had begun approaching them, steadily putting bullets and dents in the barding of the remaining raiders. (Still a strange word.)

The caravan was still coming, running, dodging the red beams flying everywhere, lighting up the ground and other ponies. It looked surreal. Almost peaceful. As I was moving, and idea came to mind, and I tuned into the DJ’s station. –Though I did enjoy his constant barrage of jazz, it was beginning to get on my nerves, listening to the same two dozen songs. Taking even more time, I changed around the channels until it stopped on one strange broadcast. It was literally labeled “mysterious broadcast,” there was soft, upright bass-heavy music, accompanied by muted piano. I stayed there.

Getting back to the matter at hand, I brought OW back to attention and jogged to Law, already more than halfway to our adversaries. They had mostly started shooting at us. Iridescence was nowhere to be found. Great. The energy weapons our enemies used were in a state of disrepair, and when they had my coat, did little more than leave them blackened. They burned a little, but not enough to bother me.

Nearly every shot I fired made contact. Not all of them hurt them, but most certainly made them aware they were not invincible. Screams could be heard. Not from Law, myself, or the not-to-be-seen Iridescence, but from the attackers. Not war cries, either. I almost smiled at this pleasant turn of events. In just minutes, four of the six were down. The last two were a scrawny tan buck, skull worn over his head, and a big, old mare.
They had backed into the cliff face they had rushed out of– whatever door had been there was now shut, and they couldn’t seem to get it open. They were still firing at us, backs against the wall without any fear in their eyes. It seemed to me as though they were ready to die. Forfeit they thought their lives, so forfeit they were, was how I thought. Then Iridescence showed up. Directly above them, to be exact.

Her face poked over the cliff edge, then she floated her 10mm, right above them. Two shots and the ensuing echo of shattering bone later, there were a total of six dead ponies in the general area. The caravan was unscathed, Law was covered in burns, but put up with it fairly well. Suddenly, what had seemed like a little dull pain turned into a searing, white hot agony that resurfaced every time I moved.

I wasn’t sure if it was the adrenaline or just delayed senses, but I wished I’d known it had hurt that much before! I called out, trying to get anypony’s attention. I couldn’t let myself fall down. I couldn’t get myself to move forward. Or backward. Both of them ran back to me. Law dug through his saddlebags until he found two healing potions. One for him, one for me. I tossed the bottle as soon as the last dribble went down my throat, the burns slowly dissipating.

“Sooo,” Iridescence began, “why is it you’ve gotten yourself hurt out here so much more than me?” my eye twitched as the answer came quickly to mind.

“I’ll bet it has something to do with the fact that I’m always the one having to do everything,” I didn’t want to sound too mean, but I did want her to get the picture.

“Oh,” it barely escaped her lips and we were off again. I continued toward the corpses of the fiends. When we got closer, though, the one I’d shot in the neck earlier pulled out a metal apple-looking thing, “Rong riff uhf Fiends!” I had no idea what he meant. I did, however, gather that his group was appropriately named the FIends.

The Fiend earth pony screamed at the top of his lungs, Law backing up. Again, I was totally confused by what was happening. Then again, I was always confused by what was happening around me. THe earth pony pulled something out the apple. A pin?

“Oh, goddess damn it!” Law was freaking out, turning on his hooves and galloping away. I was absolutely baffled by what was taking place. Iridescence was paying pretty close attention and backed away from her point on the cliff. And I stood there. Just a few feet from the brown Fiend with a shiny, chrome apple in his mouth, “Git, you ijot!” I think he was shouting to me when it happened.

^^^***^^^

There was an indescribable blackness. I couldn’t put a hoof on where I was or what was happening. I’m dead, I thought. Funny, I’d always pictured myself as having some epic epiphany explained to me upon my departure. Having the universe unfold before me. Knowledge to course through me. To become omnipotent. But there was just nothingness. I can’t say I was either happy or displeased with what had transpired.

There was no outro via narration and slideshow. It was just me alone with my thoughts to unlock everything myself. Or, that was what I believed. It could very well have been an indefinite slumber from which I could have been awakened by somepony else.

Uncertainty was the very essence of my conscious self. I could have been water, shapeless and without finition. At a loss for words, I calmly waited for whatever was to happen next. Be it an hour later, or a hundred years.

It would be difficult to say of I was going to be able to be patient enough to sit through it all. I was getting anxious.

^^^***^^^

I awoke to something cool and wet on my face. A rag, a dish towel, cloth, words ran through my head at a pace I couldn’t keep up with. It was still dark, but that was because my eyes were closed. I could hear somepony pacing around the room. Deep breathing, as though they were sleeping.

I cracked open my right eye. It was still dark. Less so than it was with both eyes closed, but still dark enough that only the contours and outlines of things were visible. Yes, there was somepony pacing, I could see that, and yes, there was somepony sleeping. I had, however, neglected the fact that that pony was in the same bed.

It felt something like being asleep for a long time, but still being tired, but you can’t get yourself to go back to sleep anyway. The other eye slowly edged its way open. I blinked and inhaled. Aside from the clack clack of hooves on wood, it was quiet. Somepony had turned off my radio.

Before I know what I was doing, I fumbled around the switches until a soft piano song could be heard all around the room. The pacing stopped, “so you’re awake!” a familiar, hushed voice cried excitedly, “you’re alive! You’re stupid, but you’re alive!” the voice cracked occasionally, sounding a little like a filly’s. It was Tulip, “do you have any idea how much money you’ve made me?” yep. Now I was sure it was Tulip.

Keeping with the set precedence of being quiet, I started up a conversation, “A lot, right?” my voice rasped, “could I get some water?” A glass was immediately set before me, “thanks,” my pipbuck clicked as I ingested it, but it didn’t taste bad. No face melting, here. I was too thirsty to give a damn anyway, “so I take it I’m not dead?”

She giggled and muttered, “no, we thought you wouldn’t wake up, but you aren’t dead. Doc gotcha all patched up, am I right?” come to think of it, I didn’t feel much worse than sore in places, and nodded in the darkness, “you took a grenade to the uh, well, torso and face! Doc was up all day an’ night tryin’ ta fix you up, I wasn’t there on account o’ selling yer food you brought in, but I hear tell you had yer stomach open an’ everythin’. You just passed out. A lot thought you were already dead,” I nodded again, though I don’t think she could see me, “yer friend was screamin’ all night, ‘he ain’t dead, he ain’t dead!’ I could hear that, at least. Doc used all his cosmetic stuff on you in one go. Thousands o’ caps worth, told me to let you know that if you woke up, you didn’t haff ta pay. He said somethin’ like, ‘it’s been in my back room for twenty years. We don’t live in the Hoof, and we ain’t Friendship city. Better I used it on him than anypony runnin’ from the law.” she paused for a minute before adding, “if anything, you look even better than you did before!” Brilliant.

“How different do I look?” I asked. I hoped it wasn’t too bad. I liked my face.

“Check for yerself, if you can, why not?” she walked around a corner and I heard something click. A light showed through the doorway, inviting me to stand and walk to wherever it was. Wearily, I lifted myself out of bed and wobbled to the room where the light came from a little lamp set on a sink counter. I was in an unfamiliar house, but it was comfortable, “oh, and for your troubles, I gave ya a few chems. Juuust in case,” he winked. I shivered. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see just what the doctor prescribed. I had a feeling it’d have to do with my member.

The mirror was cracked, but that didn’t stop me from checking all the new little... microscopic... I looked no different. If Tulip wasn’t exaggerating, then Shrapnel was an amazing doctor! Speaking of Tulip, she had been standing in the doorway, giving me a really disturbing smile, “what? What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Oh, um,” I was starting to get tired of ponies stuttering, including myself, recalling every time somepony had spoken in the last few days, “you and that other filly aren’t, like, a thing are you?” I was also getting really tired of that question really quickly.

“I know how she acts. I know how it must seem,” I rolled my eyes up into my head, thinking of some way to not make it seem weird, “she’s nice company and all. It is nice to have her around: she’s proven to be rather useful and resourceful in the last few days. I’ve grown to know a lot about her, but no. She’s not my type,” I stopped to think about what I’d said, “She’s just too energetic and... young. Kinda like a sister, actually.” I needed to watch what I said. It was going to lead to one disturbingly awkward scene eventually.

“Oh. Good,” good? What was that supposed to mean? Ideas were forming, but I didn’t allow them to be continue to exist. I would just have to wonder about that later.

The lamp was cracked and oil was slowly leaking out and pooling around the bottom. The walls and ceiling, beige and white, were soothing in their own way. I looked around the room. The only way out was through Tulip, and she wasn’t moving. Sometimes... I coughed, “excuse me. It’s two in the morning, and I’d like to sleep a little bit longer, if that’s okay. Tulip jumped and moved out of the way, blushing. I didn’t understand anything, it seemed.

As I walked through the other rooms to my bed, I saw that the curtains were drawn, the furnace was burning warmly, and that it was modestly furnished. A place for a fire looked to be a given in this part of the world. The bed was still warm. It enticed me into its nice, white and blue sheets, to curl up and rest.

^^^***^^^

It was raining. According to my pipbuck, it was 08:16 in the morning, and four days from when I was supposed to have taken out the bandits and saved the town’s water supply. All I could think, watching the water drip down the glass, seeing which droplets made it to the bottom first, was why they would ever need to trade for water when so much of it poured from the sky. There didn’t seem to be any lack of barrels. And yet, the town was “forced” to pay hefty sums of money for this not-so-anomalous anomaly. There was obviously a reason for it, but I didn’t think about it too hard or for too long.

My situation was explained to me a bit after I had woken up that day. Law had entered, startling me, and said calmly that this was my house, that it was their way of saying ‘sorry for almost killing you(!)’. The rest of the ponies from 34 were to be allowed to stay in the houses in pairs. They’d have to work to stay in Sunrise, and fix up their new homes by themselves. It wasn’t that nopony from 34 was accustomed to work- no, everypony had worked from the day they recieved their pipbucks onward. It would be having to keep the place from collapsing and doing other chores for the town to ensure that their livelihood wouldn’t be at stake.

I would be on the team to get the remaining stable members tomorrow, but they were giving me the rest of the day to feel better. My back and chest were achy, and my nose hurt from time to time, but it wasn’t that bad given the that I had survived a high explosives device to the face. Shrapnel had a difficult time getting his name’s likeness out of me, according to the mayor pony. Iridescence had been the one to drag me back. I had her to thank for not giving up and assuming that I would make it. Had it not been for her, they would have dug me a grave and buried me right there. Grenades, as they were called, usually killed ponies when they were that close.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the day, I used to lounge around and do nothing. The deep red pony that was Tulip decided to close up for the the morning and afternoon, (“it’s a holiday: The-Doctor’s-Fully-Recovered Day.”) She brought over magazines upon my request. Iridescence laid about on couches, reading over my shoulder. Tulip made dinner: more brahmin steak and some odd, big root, (“it’s good for ya! I swear!”) She acted as a cook, a cleaner, a maid of sorts. At some point, a thought popped into my head and wouldn’t leave.

I levitated my Today’s Physician down on the table beside the couch, the pink filly next to me had fallen asleep. She looked kind of cute like that. However, after the thought had decided that it wouldn’t let me concentrate on anything else, I stared off into nothing until a hoof waved in my face, “heya there bud, you okay?” Tulip had noticed my lackadaisical expression and interrupted my lack of train of thought.

A half scowl had formed on my face, “Sorta,” a direct answer seemed too embarrassing. It’s not that bad, you pussy.

“What’s that s’posed ta mean?” her reaction, words, could have been seen from a mile away. I was just being stupid now.

“Before I came out here, not that long ago really, I had this image of my life. This perfect little scene in a stable living room. A wife, a steady job, and a child. It occurred to me that this is a mock version of my inner thoughts. You’re not my wife, and this,” I pointed to Iridescence, “isn’t my foal, but do you see what I mean? I just found it overwhelming is all. I’m not dying.” I wasn’t sure if I believed what I was saying. Such a strange moment.

Tulip smiled kindly at me and tussled up my mane like she was a family friend seeing me as a colt in my father’s shadow. I would have thought she were teasing me if she wasn’t my age as well. If I had to guess, I’d say it was some kind of a come-on. Seeing what would happen, I smiled and rolled my eyes. She did the same and turned on a radio in the corner of the room. A soft, sweet melody filled the room.

Time passed with no news about the Ponyfeathers area. It turned out that where I was, was awfully close to that particular town, named for its prime financial benefactor. Or I was in relation to the only other large civilization- Tenpony Tower to the east and Salt Cube City FAR to the North. We had been in the black because of an influx in ash in the air for the last several days. At least since the incident with the grenade.

^*^

When I’d finished all of the Meeting Ponies, and Future Weapons Todays, a quaint, cheerful song came on. Tulip got up and started dancing, taking me by surprise. She yanked me up out of my spot, Iridescence still dead to the world. The sun was setting. I had no idea what I was doing and felt slightly awkward while the shop-owner earth pony lead the steps without explanation or foreword. There was no talking, just shuffling about on the floor. When it ended, I fell to the ground panting. I hadn’t moved for five days, and it was one hell of one to get me used to it.

It was followed, without warning, by Tulip, a mare I barely knew, collapsing atop me and refusing to move.

I really liked it out here.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hoof note: Level up!
New Perk: Scoundrel: Barter +5 Speech +5
Unique dialogue with certain characters

Comments

[Wizardmon]

Yet another fallout story. No offense or anything, just making an observation.

[BEBOP!]

537658v No problem at all. I see a lot of people writing these, and it bothers me that none of them go through with it. I've read a grand total of four (4) that are any good and have kept going and are still going. I plan on being one of them. Hope it goes well. (Not to sound rude or... well, as the intro says, "pretentious.")

[Scully]

Hey more FoE join us at the contemplation doc no one is on atm but we normally are we can be there to help and what not.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KaoFWVlFlMjYR2KmTWxwCYnvTZQcjEULO9YHSaqqk9U/edit?hl=en_GB&pli=1#heading=h.dpqxwtff6zty

Looking forward to seeing you there.

[bucknorris]

You know what? I'm tired of thumbing down FoEs just because they exist. Imma go ahead and give this a try

[BEBOP!]

537722 I have no idea what I'm supposed to do on there, sorry.

[Scully]

540644 The best way to find out is ask lol. We are a group of FoE writers/editors. You can come onto the dock just to talk. We also get published on EqD so its a good way to get out there. We are mainly there to help and to BS you know have fun.

[BEBOP!]

581624 That will be explained and handled coming up pretty soon, glad you caught that! I wasn't sure if I quite had that down. Keep checkin' back every now and again for updates. Chapter 3 is very nearly finished on G-Docs, and I'll have it uploaded as soon as it's done.

[BEBOP!]

767220

You wouldn't believe how annoyed at my computer I am right now.

I wrote everything down in a notebook- 20 pages worth of stuff, but I'm incredibly lazy...