Previous Chapters Next
Close
Prologue971 words
Chapter one: Apples1,489 words
Chapter 2 - Back on the road again848 words
Chapter 3 - Home Sweet Home4,495 words
Chapter 4 - Finding a little light in the darkness1,537 words

Chapter 2 - Back on the road again

Okay, ill say it again. Read it here.

Chapter 2: Back on the road again

Okay, this made me laugh.
Im currently on a train, because two minutes after that some purple talking lizard joined in and said that some princess is calling ALL of those guys to her place. Looks like my old hilux dropped from above trough the roof into her private bedrooms...

Then they had to get another one „pony“ (thats how they call them... i’m now constantly calling myself „idiot“, hou could i have not thought of that name before) – Fluttershy her name is, and she gets to her name. Right on the train station, she got extremely scared by my plasma grenade (that somehow fell out of its holster), and went hiding into a nearby bush.

Also, i thought of giving these pones a lesson – not to fuck with the almighty General Cum Dumpster. Interesting that i still remember my nickname my squad gave me in the past. How were the others? Oh now i know – Hitler, Bastard, Asshole, President Asshole and the most common – Cum Dumpster. Dammit, i have to stop getting off topic so much.

Anyways, one goal complete.

Find out what unicorns do: ■

Looks like the bastards do magic. No, im not kidding. Magic. Like wizards. Or mages...

I had saw some that i consider basic magic now – levitation of small objects. Something tells me that there is more...

The marshmallow pony that constantly is bitching about everything (found out shes called Rarity) talked about some capitol big city, got to rob a pharmacy there to get something to stop the blleding from my eye (the dumb neuro-transmitters are colliding with my head)
-----------

„Princess Celestia! We came as fast as we could!“ said Twilight. Behind Celestia, there was something in her private chambers obstructed by pieces of roof. „What is... this?“ said Twilight again. Instead of the Princess answering, loud noise of machinery echoed trough the castle accompanied after a short while with music. „I rode a tank, held a generals rank when the blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank“ then it started moving, blasting trough the wall. Then it stopped near the ponies, the music went silent and the dark window slided down.

„Toodaloo, motherfuckers.“ said the armored thing they saw before.

-----------

Then he winded up the quadruple energy miniguns at the back.

What had been done in the next minutes could be only described as pure chaos, random bits of concrete and junk flying around just to get run over by a truck. At last, he blasted himself outside with rocket launchers when being followed by the angered unicorn-pegasus thing. „I do not know who or what you are, but not even Discord had been rude enough to do something like this!“.

„Shut up... If you will yell at me... My sociopathy will return... Accompanied shortly by psychopathy... And that will not end well. Trust me.“ he said. „Now, after we are done with my little present... Could you show me the way to the nearest liquor shop? I need to get drunk.“ he said with a smile so evil that he thanked for the helmet hiding his face. „What shop?“ Said the Princess. „Liquor shop. A shop that sells alcohol. Booze if you want.“ „I had never heard of ANY of these. You may have them in the damned place that YOU come from, but i am personally glad that i do not have any of those in my Equestria !“

„Nope...“ he said. „Only if sand is considered liquor here...“ he mumbled. „Lets get down to business. I presume, that you want to know this: What i am, who i am, from where i come and what are my intentions.“ he said with an annoying tone. „I’ll will answer you later!“ he said, and turned the engine on again. „Tell me atleast your name! If you have one...“ she said. „How i am adressed? I am called many names... The formal one is – Samuel Joseph Gallow. Sam, if you want. Altrough, i had been given vaious nicknames...“ Said Sam with pleasure. „So General Cum Dumpster is not your name?“ she said with a chuckle. „No, just a nickname i got for being rude and shameless. Can i ask for your name?“. „Princess Celestia.“ the Princess said. „Well Tia, if you want to know about Me... Get inside. I dont like wasting time with talking.“ he said as he opened the passanger door, and cleared the sead from rubble. „Im not sure... but I will risk it.“

„And it’s Celestia!“

She got in, and Sam fastened her seatbelt. He put the first gear on. But something was wrong. The world was spinning just like on Helios before he woke up in this land. „What is this? I know i could not have trusted You!“ yelled Celestia. „I did nothing! I promise! It is just like i got heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere“ Then the whole world got black.

Okay, this is it. The second chapter. Sorry for being a lazy motherfucker and playing games instead of writing this :)

1,910 views