The Tale of Draknirv

by Draknirv (Sortos)

Ch.2 "Worthless Piles of Dog Vomit"

ஜ۩۞۩ஜ

Free to roam the land once more and free to enjoy life!

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The distinguished figure whom lie before you merely sits there gazing at his drink. You see a small droplet fall into his beverage as he emits a low sob.

...

You offer a comforting hoof but he aggresively knocks it away.

"Anyways as I was saying."

___________________________________

We were being carted off to the fortress of "Riva", a well fortified city, and the core training facilities of the Hetmanate's new recruits and conscriptions.

"Where are we going?" Asked Etrosk.

To that he simply recieved the brunt end of a spear. The way our odd captors held their weaponry was extremely strange to us, rather than using their mouths, as most of us conventionally do, they held their equipment with their hooves!

Not only did they somehow manage to grip a blade with one hoof! But they also stood upon their hind legs!
____________________________________

"Heh heh sjećam." Muttered Draknirv under his breath as he took a swig of his drink. "I remember thinking that was the oddest form of locomotion I have ever seen in my life." Your new acquaintance continues to chuckle to himself.

"Imagine how difficult it was to learn how to do that myself!"

____________________________________

We traveled along a beaten gravel path for what seemed like eons.

We were absolutely exhausted by the time we saw the Fort of Riva on the horizon.

The last I remember of that night was entering the barracks of the location, and collapsing, exhausted unto the nearest bunk.

...

I awoke to the ghastliest sight I had ever seen in my waking hours of life.

He was a Warthog, with blazening amber eyes, a shaggy light green coat, a snaggly grin not even a mother could love, and a breath so foul even a wedge of lard couldn't cure it.

"Ooooh, am I interuptin' nap time my lil'darlin? WAKE UP!"
He strolled away from my bunk and yelled at the other "more awake" recruits.
"Alright ye'eberloin hedgiots, listen up!"

"Raight naow I consider you all worthless piles of dog vomit!... Now that being said, it is my job to take each and every last one of you, out... into that field..."
He spoke with such an inspiring rage that could only be compared to that of a Minotaur.
"And I will shape you from your pathetic demeanor... and when I am finished... not only will you eat, sleep, and excrete war out your arse! But you will be able riposte and spit an assailant upon your blade while you are taking said dump!"

He was actually a fairly suitable sergeant for the job of training conscripts. If I wasn't so depressed at the time over bieng seperated from my entire tribe, I probably would've been pretty damn inspired. Infact if he wasnt so ugly he'd be the best sergeant a recruit could ask for... wait... actually he was perfect!

Our overcooked porkchop of a trainer directed us into a clearing outside the fortress' walls.

The area was nothing more than a seventy foot circle clearing, devoid of grass or vegetation due to usage over what I would guess to be quite a few years.

To the Northern-most side of the training space stood roughly twenty wooden training dummys.
To the Western-most side lay the walls of the fortress "Riva" a haven for some... but only a jarring reminder of what the rest of that life consisted of for me and my brothers.
To the East side lay an assortment of training armaments.
And to the South was a sizeable empty field.

"All righty now my name is "Seargant of Duty Hornswurth", but you will not call me anything because you will only speak when spoken to! Now... our first day of training will consist of getting you familiar with the traditional weaponry of the Cossack Hetmanate."

He walked over to the weapon stand and pulled out a device that struck us as extremely alien in nature.

"This, is whats called a "Wheellock Carbine"... standard to all of our infantryman."

He walked up to us with this strange device in-hand and picked up Yealtev by the horn.

"You look about as lively as any of these putrid mollusks..." He then proceeded to place the carbine in Yealtev's, less than enthusiastic, hooves. "Lets see if you can shoot straight, eh?"

Yealtev was a good Colt to say the least, his fur was a laiden black like the night sky, he had a white mask pattern on his face, his eyes were of a sequent green, and his horns were... shall we say... "diminutive". Although we were the three strongest of our village, he was the lankiest of everypony whom was there.

He always had a way of getting into trouble...

His hooves made a soft pat as he was set back on the ground. He was facing a lone target dummy at a distance of what I'd estimate to be about a hundred and twenty feet.

"The operation of the firearm is simple! Simply point the thin end at the target and pull this lever here. Then a tiiiny little ball will go flying in that direction at an extremely high speed." Said Hornswurth.

Yealtev simply nodded and cradled the stock into his shoulder and pointed it at the target.

The way he struggled to keep it straight was proof enough of how clunky it was for him to hold sutch an odd device.

After a solid three minutes he finally got aim and pulled the trigger.

The pin holding the wheel slid in and the wheel spun forwards striking the powder tray, creating an odd "Click" followed shortly after with a burst of orange light from the muzzle of the carbine, accompanied by a very loud, almost funnel like, CRACK, and a cloud of grey smoke.

We couldnt really tell if the bullet struck home or if it had simply grazed the target but the suspended head of the dummy was spinning very slowly.

"Hrmph, good shot for a beginner." Said Hornswurth as he seized the firearm and started to ram another bullet into the chamber.

After he reloaded the weapon he walked over and handed it to me.

"Your turn." Was all he said.

I walked to the same spot that Yealtev was standing at a moment ago and followed by example, aiming the weapon at the target.

I had a notably easier time keeping it steady however... my guess was that our body proportion greatly effects the stability of the weapon.

I aimed and fired, recieving the same click, and the same loud CRACK, coupled with a, far more blinding, puff of smoke.

The lead ball soared and struck the target straight in, what would be, its throat.

"Excellent shot!... Alright... who's next?"

The rest of the Colts there each took a turn repeating the actions of those before him.

Only about a fourth of them manged to even hit the thing, and Etrosk missed completely and nailed a tree several hundred yards away.

By the time the last shot was fired Hornswurth was so furious at the troops terrible aim that we were all dismissed for breakfast.

...

I sat with Yealtev and Etrosk as we ate our breakfast in the barracks. I remember that meal... it signified a change in our lives forever...

I had a melon, Yealtev was eating a cabbage and Etrosk was stuck with some bread.

"I would think youd be sick of eating cabbages Yeal, considering thats all we ever eat..." I said to Yealtev.

To this he only nodded a definite "no" and continued eating.

"Well its better than this stale loaf!" Said Etrosk. "I need reaaal food!"

Me and Yealtev simply chuckled and continued eating.

________________________________

"Its true what they say..." Said Draknirv as he took another swig of his drink.

"The love of your family can endure anything."

Comments

[Ironmonger]

The writing is very good

[We'll_Never_Know]

Good writing! Reminds me of Full Metal Jacket and a whole lotta World War II era Russia.
The names: they seem Slavic. And also yours. Is it something you want to draw out?
Anyway, if you like, my next one is gonna start soon! Let's continue our chats...

[Draknirv (Sortos)]

545001 Thanks! I'm glad you like it.

And its based off of Western Europe during the 15th century, not ww2 russia. thats just silly you silly.

The names are "Slavic" in nature because that was the main theme of culture of the Cossacks during the 15th century was as sutch.

[We'll_Never_Know]

545228
Aw geez, I feel like an idiot now. I'm a historian on the side, why didn't I see that before...
No matter. Now that you say 15th century, will we see (and yes, I know they're from different nations, but just think) Landsknecht characters? Seems it would be fitting...
Ah, well, it's your story. Keep up the good work!

[Draknirv (Sortos)]

545371 clarifying Landsknechte are renessaince, gentry, swordsman whom fought mostly in swedish and polish regions... im pretty sure that wouldnt fit here considering the main conflict of the Cossacks in the 15th cent. was with the Chrimeans. although it is an interesting idea to say the least!

*Mental note for later chapters*