The Dark Percursor Cometh
Time for chapter 3. Just a heads up; this was originally 2 chapters that I put together because the old chapter 3 was so short (before the merge, it was called “The Jail Cell Interlude”). Also, because I’m a jerk, I’ll let you in on some behind the scenes secrets. Originally; the human’s name was going to be Alex…let the wild mass guessing begin
Chapter 3 The Dark Precursor Cometh
Out in the middle of nowhere, in a giant hole in the ground bigger than Canterlot castle, an archeologist named Dig Dug was busy expanding the hole. Not too long ago they had found a strange artifact that seemed to still work (despite its function remaining a mystery), which left them in high spirits and hopeful for more wonders. Dig was merrily chipping away at dirt with his pickaxe, when he heard a ‘clang’ sound “huh?” grabbing a nearby shovel and began chipping away the dirt, it only took a couple of scraps to get through to metal. Feeling a rush of excitement, Dig called out to the others “hey everypony! I found something. Grab some shovels and help me” quick as a wink, ponies began to gather around, shovels in mouth to dig out their latest find. It wasn’t long before they removed a good chunk of the dirt, revealing a large grey half oval surrounded by some ominous black metal. In the center; there was a dazzling golden gem, orbiting it were 12 strange symbols. It looked like most of it was still buried
“This is amazing” One pony remarked
“This site is the find of the century!” another cheered
“History shall remember this day!” A rather overzealous one added
“Anypony else think it looks like a door?” that question got the attention of the rest
“You know…it kind of does” somepony agreed
A hush fell over the ponies in the pit “anypony else get the feeling that we just unearthed something we really shouldn’t have?” before an answer was given however, the golden gem gave off a tremendous light that engulfed the entire pit
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The hairless ape sat on his bed; one made for a pony half his size. His room was a musty cobblestone cell, rectangular in shape with a metal door in the right corner on the other side, it had a sliding metal plate for a window. His hands were bound together with enchanted shackles and a magic collar around his neck. His fate was unknown, but he didn’t plan on fighting it ‘I have to be brave’ he repeated in his mind. Time had melted long ago to him (or had it only been a few minutes?); he couldn’t remember how long he had been sitting there, waiting. He sighed “dad was right; it really is the waiting that kills you.” Not long after he said that (or maybe it was) the door opened and inside walked the white male unicorn from before, still decked out in armor “so…what’s going to happen to me?”
“I don’t know yet” Shining Armor answered
“I take it that means you’re not here to take me to the gallows or dissect me?”
“What!? No! Why would you think that?”
Getting annoyed, the ape added a hint of venom to his next words “oh I don’t know; maybe it was how you captured me or perhaps that spazy purple unicorn yelling ‘ah! Monster!’ might have tipped me off!”
“Hey! That’s my little sister you’re talking about!” Shining shot back
The ape reeled back “oh.” He put on a sheepish smile “I just made everything awkward…didn’t I?”
“Yeah, you kind of did” Shining replied
The two of them sat in an uncomfortable silence before the ape broke it “so if you aren’t here to take me to my death, then why are you here?”
“To talk” he answered simply
“About what?”
“Well…you, as far as any of us know, you’re the only one of your kind. I’ve never even heard of hairless ape before-” Shining was cut short
“Human” then ‘human’ interrupted
“Oh, um sorry”
“It’s ok; humans do share 98.5% of their DNA with chimps. So I can understand the confusion”
Shining raised an eyebrow “DNA?”
“You know; deoxyribonucleic acid, our genetic blueprints” Seeing the blank expression on the stallion in front of him, he asked “how advanced is your genetics department?”
“What’s genetics?” he answered
The human rolled his eyes “well that answers that question” he mumbled. A few seconds later, he remembered something “Hey, can I ask you something?”
“What is it?”
“Where did you find the Gate Switch?”
“The what?”
“The little thing your sister and that pink horse-”
“Pony” Shining corrected
The human had to suppress a groan “wait…your species calls themselves…” remembering his situation, he wisely decided to move on “never mind. Anyway; since the gateway was open, that must mean that they entered the Rabbit Hutch using the Gate Switch”
It took him a couple of second to remember what he was talking about “oh! You mean that little gold rectangular” he waved his hoof in the air, searching for the right word. Not finding it, he settled for “…thing with the triangle on top-”
“Yes! That. Where did you find it?”
“It was found inside a giant metal…box I guess, one big enough to fit dozens of ponies. It was very, very deep underground”
“Were there others like it nearby?”
He nodded “yeah, quite a lot. Come to think of it, we also found what looks to be animal remains…but I’d never seen an animal with a skeletal system like that. Not only that, but most of them were in horrible shape”
His suspicions confirmed, the human let out a long sigh “They were humans”
Shining’s eyes widened “Really!? Wait, how would you know? You haven’t seen them yet”
“Because if they had the Gate Switch on them, then I know who they were; OSTO. They were responsible for developing weapons to combat the Zodiarts. Those metal boxes you found them in had to be Hover Tanks. The fact that you found them underground proves what I thought; I’m very far into the future”
Being the soldier he was, the human’s comment about weapons development caught his attention “wait, you had to make special weapons just to fight them? Just who were these Zodiarts?”
“Probably who wiped out the rest of my race, unless something else unexpected happened” the human answered with a shrug
Now one thing to keep in mind about Equestria: the concept of war, and murder, is really little more than a scary story to its inhabitants, the last one having taken place 1000 years ago (and even then it’s debatable whether or not it counts). So it comes as no surprise that the concept of genocide, of mass murder, would have the effect it did “they wiped out an entire race!?”
“Shocking right?” After a few seconds, the human corrected himself “well not an entire race, they did miss one after all”
His brain still broken, the poor unicorn had trouble forming his next question “but, how…why?” was all he could muster
“The Zodiarts saw us humans as mere insects; I think half of them just did it for laughs”
“What kind of excuse is that!?” Shining exploded “Who could take a life for a flimsy reason like that?!” The humans response was a surprising one; laughter “What’s so funny?!”
The human shook his head in what looked like a nonverbal ‘oh, you’ as he let out the rest of his laughs “you clearly have no idea what the human race was like”
Shining, having been made cautions by the humans comment narrowed his eyes “what exactly are you saying?”
“I’m saying that as a species, we never knew what we wanted to be. The biggest collection of saints and sinners you’ll ever see” all traces of humor left his face as he finished that last sentence “that’s probably why the Zodiarts were able to grow as fast as they did”
Unable to come up with a smart reply, Shining could only say “I’m sorry for your loss”
The human gave a small nod “thanks…um. I must admit, I’m a little shocked that me being able to talk isn’t surprising to you”
“You talk in your sleep” was all Shining needed to say
The human groaned “well that’s embarrassing”
“While we’re on the subject; you seem to be taking this pretty well” Shining commented
The human shrugged “let’s just say I got all the crazy out of me in that forest, and that sitting in here gave me ample time to calm down” and then it occurred to him; he didn’t know the pony’s name “I just realized something; we skipped the introductions”
Shining froze for a few seconds before facehoofing “such an idiot” he muttered to himself while shaking his head “I’m Shining Armor” he said holding out a hoof
Willing himself not to make any snide comments, the human took Shining’s hoof with his hand and shook “Carter Rhodes. Anyway, since we’re introducing ourselves, care to tell me who you are”
“But I already told you-”
“-Your name” interrupted Carter “which is great for calling you from across a room because ‘white male unicorn with blue mane and shield tattoo’ is pretty cumbersome in conversation. What you haven’t told me is what your rank is. The armor you’re wearing is a big enough give away that you’re in the military”
Seeing no real harm in it (since it wasn’t a big secret to begin with), Shining told him “I’m captain of the royal guards”
“…I noticed you said you were captain, not a captain does that mean you’re the head of the military or something?”
“It does” Shining said simply
Carter massaged his head like only a person with handcuff on could, that is to say; poorly “well now I know I’m screwed”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean if they sent in the highest authority in the military, then everyone else must be terrified of me. Which is how I know just how screwed I am”
Ignoring his use of the word ‘everyone’ Shining said “Hey come on, it’s not that bad” in an attempt to cheer him up
“Worst case scenario I get executed, best I simply get locked away in some dark room until I die”
“That’s pretty pessimistic”
“Where, or I guess ‘when’ would be more accurate, I’m from, that’s called being realistic”
Shining was a bit taken back by that last comment “jeez, the past sounds horrible”
Carter sighed “I pray you never find out how right you are”
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The land between settled areas was empty most of the time. However, sometimes you might come across a fellow traveler or two…this was one of the more awkward meetings. A strange red armored biped was strolling down the path, no real destination in mind, when it came across two arguing earth ponies “-well if we had just stopped and asked for directions-” the armored being caught the female saying
“Mare, don’t you start with me!” the male complained
‘Talking horses?! Crap…what the hell happened to the earth?’ the armored being wondered “Hey, excuses me you two!” he, for that’s what his voice suggested, called out
The earth pony couple stopped their argument, the male sighed “look, we’re kind of in the middle of an-” but the rest of his words died in his mouth when he saw who was talking to him
“I know” the armored being said “and I’m really sorry to interrupt, but this will only take a few seconds”
“Um…ok” he might have looked terrifying…but he was just so polite
“Thanks. Could you point me in the direction of the capital?”
The couple briefly stared at each other in confusion. Then the female turned back to face him “if you follow this road, you’ll get to Canterlot”
“…Canterlot?” the armored being repeated slightly stunned, before breaking out into laughter “my god! What a wonderful pun” with that, the armored being went along his marry way towards Canterlot “I’m on a ‘quest for Canterlot’” for some reason, that seemed to reignite his laughter.
Now left to their own devices, the earth pony couple gave each other a quick look before continuing along the path. Neither felt like picking up where they left off
--------
“So this is Canterlot huh? Not bad for a bunch of ponies. Shame I have to wreak the place” The strange armored being mused as he walked up to the capital of Equestria. “It’s just uncanny; this place looks just like a human city…a really, really old one, but a human city none the less. I wonder how they did it without hand”
“Halt!” a voice above him called out. Looking up, the armored being saw 3 identical armored pegasi “who goes there!?”
The armored being broke out into laughter “my god! Did you really just say ‘who goes there’!? Oh man, that is just so full of win!”
Confused at his outburst, the pegaus in the middle answered “um…yes I did”
The armored being let out a few more chuckles before speaking again “What time is it by the way?”
“It’s…” the pegaus on the left checked the position of the sun “about noon”
“Alright then, would you kindly inform your leader, and or leaders, that the 12 o’clock invader is here” the armored being said with a completely steady voice
“…Uh…” the three pegasi were speechless. Getting his wits back, the middle one spoke “um sir, is this not your first
language, because I don’t think you understand what an invader is”
But the armored being shook his head “I know what I said; I’m here to destroy your capital, kill your leader, and or leaders, loot the place, etc.”
Shocked out of their confusion by his words, the three pegasi entered a fighting stance; forelegs bent and their rears raised, like a hissing cat. The one on the right attacked first; drawing a sword hidden in his armor with his mouth. He flew above the armored being, only to dive down, sword lined up with his head. The blade connected with the head of the armored being and…*snap!* it broke in two. The half that snapped off cartwheeled in the air before landing, pointy end down, stuck in the ground right behind the unlucky attacker “…what…” the pegaus in the middle said dumbstruck
The armored being threw its arms in the air and proclaimed “it’s good!” If the three guards were surprised before, they were just plain stunned now. “Hey, you guys want to see a magic trick?” none of them could bring themselves to move when the armored being walked up to the broken blade sticking out of the ground and picked it up. Balancing the flat part on the palm of its hand, it held its other hand above it, and with a strange word “abracadabra!” he crushed the blade. After rubbing his hands together for a few seconds, he separated them and metal dust flew into the wind “tada!”
The middle guard was the first to regain his wits “hurry! Alert the princess!” He ordered his subordinates “I’ll hold him” The other two guards took off at once for the castle to warn the princess about the incoming attack
The armored being lightly chuckled “you’re either really brave or really stupid…eh, who am I kidding? They’re the same thing” the armored being closed in on the last guard…
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Shining Armor had a lot on his mind. Aside from the normal cluster of worries that came with being the captain of the royal guard, he was also thinking about the human Carter ‘what happens now?’
“…Shining…”
‘He doesn’t look dangerous. In fact, he seems more scared than anything’
“Hello?”
‘The technology in that Rabbit Hutch place looked far beyond anything we’re capable of…just who were the human?’
“Are you feeling ok?”
Then a thought came to him; being one of the few ponies who believed they existed, it seemed plausible to him ‘could...could it be possible that the humans are…the Precursors!? It certainly wouldn't be the first time an old foals tale ended up being true’ his musing were broken when he felt something wet touch his lips “wha?” now free from his self-induced trance, he saw that the wet thing that broke him out of it was Cadence’s lips. Suddenly remembering his date at the café, a sheepish grin wormed its way onto his face “sorry. I kind of spaced out there for a second”
“Work?” she asked in that tender voice of hers
He sighed “yeah”
“Do you want to talk about it”
He shook his head “I’m not allowed to” he replied, feeling guilty for having to keep this a secret from her
Cadence, in her infinite wisdom, picked up on this “its ok. I’ll just ask aunt Celestia later”
Once more being reminded why he fell in love with her, Shining leaned in to give her a chaste kiss “have I told you I love you today?”
She giggled “you tell me so much I lost count”
That roguish grin that made her breathless snuck onto his face “better safe than sorry” he gave her another kiss “I love you”
She responded with a quick nuzzle “you make me feel like the luckiest mare in the world”
Their conversation grinded to a halt when they heard the screams “what the!?” Shining got up from the ground turned to his fillyfriend “wait here” he ran out the café to the street, what he saw out there nearly made him trip in shock; a red armored monster with a club and shield. It was wading through a sea of royal guards. Quickly clearing them away with its weapon
“Ha Ha!” the monster laughed “keep ‘em coming! I haven’t had this much fun in a long time”
Snapping out of his shock, Shining Armor put on his captain face and ran towards the monster “halt!”
“Hmm?” The monster glanced at him then chuckled “oh look; fresh meat”
The rest of the injured guards backed off at the sight of their captain “My name is Shining Armor; I am captain of the royal guard. This is your last chance to turn yourself in” he managed to offer the monster one last chance to come in peacefully as per regulation
The monster was silent, almost as if it was considering Shining’s offer…until he started laughing “my god! That was rich! A knight named Shining Armor; you can’t make this stuff up!”
Thanks to his training, Shining was able to hide his annoyance “since you won’t come quietly, I’ve have to drag you to the dungeons myself!” despite his tone, he was happy the monster made the choice it did. It gave Shining the chance to pummel him for his troops. Shining channeled magic into his horn
The monster tilted his head “hey um…unicorn guy; your horn’s glowing. Is it supposed to do that?”
His answer came in the form of a magic beam aimed right at his head. The attack connected, but failed to do anything “what!?”
The monster whistled, despite not being able to move its lips “nice shot. Looked like it would have hurt too, but it’ll take more than that to harm a Zodiart”
While the name “Zodiart” didn’t mean much to most of the ponies there, Shining understood just what he meant ‘this is a Zodiart!?’ he suddenly remembered his early theory ‘if Carter really is a Precursor…does that mean that these Zodiart are the Dark Precursors?’ his confidence was now shot by the revelation
“Aww, what’s wrong?” the Zodiart cooed “feeling a little scared after seeing your magic beam do absolutely nothing to me?”
‘Wait, what I am doing’ Shining admonished himself ‘I’m captain of the royal guard! I can’t back down just because I’m a little scared’ putting up a small (in size) shield spell, Shining charged at his opponent
“Oh boy! This looks like fun” the Zodiart gushed. He altered his stance, standing sideways with his club held in both hands. When Shining was in striking distance, he swung “homerun!” the club tore through his shield like it was tissue paper and struck Shining right in the face, sending him flying into the side of the café
“Shining!” Cadence ran out of the building to her coltfriend’s side “Shining, please. Speak to me. Say something”
Before he got a chance to say anything, a bright light appeared in the middle of the impromptu battlefield. When it vanished, an angry Celestia was left in its place “how dare you walk into this city and start attacking my subjects” she fired a magic beam immediately after speaking, giving him no time to respond. However it had about the same effect as Shining’s
The Zodiart laughed again “oh this is just wonderful! A pretty pony princess!” after getting most of that batch of laughs out of his system he continued with a quick chuckle “you know, it really is too bad I have to kill all of you. You guys are the most fun I’ve had in a long time” he sighed “but in all honesty; you guys don’t have the weapons to even scratch me”
And that’s when Shining was hit with a burst of inspiration ‘weapons! Of course! Carter has to have something that could beat him in the Rabbit Hutch. I just need to bring him the Gate Switch’ Shining tried to get to his feet, only to find that the pain from his injuries kept him down
Noticing her beloved’s pain, Cadence gently tried to get him back on the ground “please Shining. You’re too hurt to fight anymore. Just let aunt Celestia take care of this”
Realizing he was in no shape to get to Carter, Shining decided that Cadence would have to go instead “Cadence, honey. I need you to listen to me” he pulled the Gate Switch out of his armor “you need to take this to the dungeon. Inside the cell farthest away from the entrance, there’s somepony who can help, he’ll need this. Tell him that a Zodiart is attacking. If the princess can’t win….then he’s our last hope”
Cadence was confused “Shining, what are you-”
Shining didn’t let her finish “Cadence we don’t have time. Please just trust me” he asked her in a desperate voice
Cadence gave a hesitant nod and grabbed the Gate Switch with her magic. Then she took off for the dungeons
--------
As Cadence quietly traversed the dark and dank dungeons, a thought occurred to her; what if this ‘Carter’ didn’t really exist. What if it was just Shining’s last attempt to keep her safe ‘no’ she chided herself ‘I can’t think like that, I need to trust him’
When she got to the jail cell farthest away from the entrance she paused. ‘what kind of pony could we be keeping in here?’ worry started bubbling in her mind ‘if Shining thinks he’s strong enough to stop that monster…just what is he?’ she followed this train of thought for all of 6 seconds ‘no! I have to be brave. For Shining Armor’ mustering her courage she opened the door and ran in. What she saw was a strange ape like thing “wha….”
The cell occupant turned his head before speaking “damn you’re adorable”
If Cadence were to compile a list of things she least expected him to first say to her, that would certainly make the cut. Pushing his comment aside for the moment, Cadence asked him “um…are you Carter?”
“You see any other humans around here recently?” was his reply “so…what can I do for you my pretty little pony?”
Once again pushing aside his comment, Cadence relayed to him the current situation “Shining Armor is in trouble! He sent me here with this” she pulled the Gate Switch out of her mane with magic “he told me to tell you that he thinks a Zodiart is attacking”
Carter froze, almost like time itself had stopped “…what…”
Cadance removed his bindings with her magic “please! You have to help him” she began to tear up “If…if I lose him. I’m not sure what I’ll do!”
Jumping up from his seat, he snatched the Gate Switch from Cadence; Carter grabbed her horn “let’s get out of this jail cell. Trust me, you do not want to be here in a few seconds” he said as he dragged her out
If it wasn’t for the fact that Cadence understood that Carter most likely didn’t know what he was doing by grabbing her horn like that, she most likely would have blasted him ‘settle down Cadence. You can’t kill him just yet.’ Carter closed the door and let go of her horn. He then pointed the Gate Switch at the door, flicked it, and opened the door, only this time there was a strange white hallway behind it. Cadence’s eye’s shot open “Wha……” she muttered dumbly
“I’ll be right back, feel free to come along if you want” Carter told her before running down the strange white hall.
Snapping out of the shock, Cadence followed him “wait for me!” she broke out into a full gallop to catch up with the human. When she caught up, he was standing in front of a white wall
Carter gave her an analyzing look “ready?” she nodded “ok, here we go” the human took a step towards the wall and… it opened up like a door
“AHH!” Cadence jumped back in surprise “what was that!?”
Carter replied with a simple “a door” after waiting for the mare to catch her breath, Carter walked inside “be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home” he chuckled
“Um…Carter?” Cadence tested his name “where are we?”
“My home: the Rabbit Hutch” he said as he made his way to the door across from where they entered
Cadence paused “uh…”
“I didn’t name it!” Carter shot out too quickly. He entered the door in the same way as the last one. Cadence followed
him again. Inside was a chair and a table with odd machinery on it. Part of it glowed. Carter sat down in the chair and began
pressing buttons “give me a minute”
As she continued to scan look around the room, her eyes settled on a framed picture. In it was a human that looked a
lot like Carter. He was holding a blue ribbon with a #1 on it. He was flanked by two other humans “is this you?” she asked
Carter stopped pressing the buttons and glanced at the picture. He sighed “that’s……yes, that’s me. It was at a
science fair. Those are my parents in there with me” not willing to waste anymore time, Carter resumed what he was doing
before “bingo!” a circle shaped object hummed to life, and a strange crescent shaped item appeared above it suspended in
mid air
“Ah!” Cadence jumped back in surprise. She quickly caught her breath and took a good look at it: the item was small
enough to fit on the human’s waist or neck by the look of it. Taking a closer look, Cadence noticed it had 4 smaller items on it, not unlike the one Carter used to open that otherworldly portal. Near each of the smaller items was a switch “what is that thing?” she asked, pointing at the crescent shaped thing
“That’s what we came here to get; the Fourze Driver” “I just need to check something first…”
Cadence however, didn’t want to wait “we need to hurry! Shining could be even more hurt”
Carter huffed “well I’m not getting into a fight with a Zodiart without-” but something he saw on the glowing screen
stopped him “yes!” he tapped a few more button and two more small items appeared on the circle object. He got up and
pushed the Fourze Driver on his waist and a strap came out of seemingly nowhere to fasten it to him. On his right side, a
weird looking lever had also appeared along with the strap. He grabbed the two new items and jogged to the door “ready.
Let’s go”
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Things were looking bad for princess Celestia; not only was the captain of her royal guards out of commission, but she wasn’t faring much better against this monster herself. Her magic seemed to have no effect on it, and she had been pretty badly beaten up. As she lay on the ground, unable to keep fighting, a single thought crossed her mind ‘just what is this monster?’
The Zodiart rested its club on its shoulder “you know” it began “I never thought I could get tired of wailing of a pretty pony princess…but hey, I guess we all learned something new today” the Zodiart slowly made its way towards Celestia,
humming a sinister tune that began slow, but picked up speed with time. The crowd that had gathered could do nothing but
watch as the Zodiart moved in for the kill.
Like the horde of defenseless ponies that had gathered, Shining Armor was also watching the events before him play
out, only he was taking it differently ‘buck!’ he mentally exclaimed ‘the one time the princess really needs me, and I’m
completely useless’. In one final desperate act, Shining gathered magic in his horn, trying to recast his shield spell to save
his princess. However his injuries got the better of him again, the pain proved too strong for him, keeping him from focusing
‘buck!’ he exclaimed again ‘is there really nothing I can do but watch?’
Now within striking distance; the Zodiart held its club vertically, aligning it with Celestia’s neck “before I kill you, I just
want you to know; that this is going to hurt you a lot more then it’s going to hurt me…really. I can only assume that bashing
your neck in with a club is an extremely painful way to go, and since I won’t even feel it…yeah” he raised his club into the air
slowly, when it was as high as he could lift it, he taunted Celestia one more time “well…I guess this is it. It’s gotta suck
knowing you let down your entire species by losing to me. Now I get to wipe them all out.” The Zodiart tightened his grip on
his weapon, but before he could deliver the finishing blow, he heard something he really didn’t see coming
“ORION!!!”
The Zodiart now known as Orion froze “…who just said my name?”
A chill ran down Celestia’s spine ‘Orion…It couldn’t be, could it?’ she took another look at the strange pattern on Orion
‘…impossible’ was all her mind was able to conjure
Orion and the horde of ponies turned towards the direction the voice came from, it was then that they saw Carter and
Cadence “what!?” Orion jumped “how can there be any of you left?”
“I could ask you the same thing” was Carter’s reply. Without skipping a beat, Carter flipped the switches on the front of
the Fourze Driver, when all 4 were on, the Drive itself spoke
“3”
“2”
“1”
Immediately after ‘1’, Carter pulled the leaver on the side of the side of the Drive, and was engulfed in a white fog. When it dissipated, he was clad in a strange white armor. The helmet was an odd cone like shape, and his limbs each had bracer with a shape on it. Carter entered a fighting stance and uttered only 3 words; “meet Fourze motherfucker”
I’ll be honest here; writing Shining Armor here was hard. I don’t feel like the two episodes we saw him in was enough to flesh out his personality, in fact we only really saw him interact with Twilight and Cadence, but I made do with what I had. I decided to try and sprinkle a little of Twilight into him.
Disclaimer: no ponies were killed in the writing of this chapter…just a little serious maiming.
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*Goes to MLP FIM Wiki, looks up Cadance. Princess Cadence* Fuck, I missplet her name by one letter. Goddamit I need to have a list of pony names so I don't fuck them in the process.
791959Fixed
awesome!
'Ahhhhhh why he no say space is here'
or say henshin and especially ' kamen rider fouze lets do this mono eh mono'
well besides those little nit piks i really fine with this chapter. but you better do at lease one catchphrase of the real fourze plz
792280Don't worry, he will get a catchphrase. Since he speaks English "Henshin" would seem grossly out of place. And since Carter isn't as excitable as Gen, his "space is here" catchphrase wouldn't fit either, it would be honorably ooc for him. But don't worry, he will get a variation of one of Gen's catchphrases that I not only think sounds awesome, but is bizarrely fitting in the world of fim. Don't expect it any time soon though, there's some character development i need to get out of the way first
If it seems that Shining Armor came to the conclusion that human = precursors too fast, think of it like this:
Humans are an advance civilization from the past
Precursors are an advance civilization from the past
It makes more sense when you think of it like that
792902
LESS EXPLANATION
MORE CHAPTERS
792317 well i can understand that, the only catchphase that i know you can do is the horoscope 'wish upon the stars' since Scorpio and Libra used it. for the new Fourze, i cant say anything since i cant tell his personality just from these few chapters, so good luck with trying to create a catchphrase, cause everyone knows with kamen riders you have to have a catchphrase. read you when you update.
792902
I just realised something, precursors, dark precursors. What is this Jak & Daxter.......................................no this is a MLP/Fourze crossover. Still think Fourze is a rather mediocre show. Can't wait for Wizard, hopefully it will be better than Fourze. And rings are better than switches, never liked switches as a gimmick to begin with.
867380It's about time someone thought of that. Yes, this fic did start out as a sort of Jak & Daxter crossover (only eco and light and dark forms). Another thing; when I first planed this out, Fourze was going to be a little kid the age of the CMC with no Zodiarts. It was going to be a 3 parter; 1st part childhood, 2nd adolescence, 3ed adulthood. He was also going to fall in love With Sweetie Bell. I've gone through a lot of different ideas for my first mlp fic (Mostly Kamen Rider crossovers). But I think I picked the right one.
867654
Oh my darling Sweetie Belle, one day you'll be mine. Me and my crushes.