The Reason I Can't Find My Love

by Locomotion

Chapter 9: Tour de Ponyville

The next few days, Applejack decided, were the most stressful she had had to put up with that year. She hadn't heard a peep from Soarin or Rainbow Dash since their last telegram, and without any further updates as to where they were and what they were doing, she was finding it increasingly difficult to distract Braeburn much longer – not least because he was growing rather restless. Time after time, she and Caramel and Granny Smith had to come up with a different excuse so as to prevent him from finding out where Pinkie Pie had gone. Big Macintosh, on the other hoof, didn't even need to try; whenever Braeburn asked him any leading questions, he simply feigned ignorance.

On the morning of the second day, Applejack awoke feeling exhausted. She had been up half the night brooding and trying to work out a few schemes for keeping Braeburn occupied until Rainbow Dash and Soarin arrived home with Pinkie Pie; but since she didn't know when that would happen, none of these plans seemed all that viable. In the end, she simply gave in to her lack of sleep in the hope that she might have worked something out by sunrise – but still nothing came to her.

The orange-coated farm pony stared out of the window, still bleary-eyed and disoriented. “How much longer are those two gonna be?” she asked herself in a weary slur. “Ah can't keep the truth from this guy forever!”

At that moment, her ears perked up to a knocking sound at her door. “Applejack? You awake?” asked a familiar deep voice.

“Yeah, come on in,” mumbled Applejack drowsily. In response, the door slowly swung open to reveal Big Macintosh standing just outside.

“Just been gettin' breakfast read...” but the red-furred stallion suddenly broke off and gave his sister an odd look. “Y'all okay, Applejack? Ya look la'k you've been awake a' night.”

Applejack groaned and looked down at the bed-covers. “Yeah, well...Ah couldn't sleep,” she confessed. “Ah'm kinda runnin' outta ideas ta keep Braeburn entertained, an' Soarin an' Dash still ain't got back to us.”

“They'll be back,” replied Big Macintosh stolidly. “Maybe not today, but soon.”

“Ah know, but how soon?!” protested Applejack. “If it goes on fo' too long, Ah'll never hear the end of it from Pinkie Pie!”

“Well it's yo' own fault, ya know,” chided Big Macintosh bluntly. “If y'all hadn't chosen ta leave it till the last minute, this wouldn't 'ave happened.”

“Oh, sure, pin it on me, why not!!” retorted Applejack indignantly. “Ah mean, how was Ah ta know what Pinkie was up to? An' another thing, how is yo' fancy blame game supposed ta...” but she cut herself off with an annoyed growl when she noticed that Big Macintosh, none too bothered to argue, had already left the room. Grumbling loudly, the orange-coated mare reluctantly followed suit.

But just as Applejack reached the foot of the stairs, her attention was distracted by another knock, this time at the front door. She went to answer, hoping that it was another telegram from Soarin or Rainbow Dash; but to her disappointment, she only found Caramel standing outside. “Oh...howdy, partner,” she muttered unhappily.

Caramel goggled at the weary, unkempt state of his marefriend. “Good grief, Applejack, you look terrible!”

“Yeah, an' Ah don't feel much better either,” admitted Applejack ruefully. “Ya wouldn't believe how much sleep Ah lost over...” she paused, looking over her shoulder in case Braeburn should be listening, “...over you-know-what.”

Caramel nodded sympathetically. “Yes, I've been losing a fair bit of sleep over it myself,” he said. “I take it they still haven't told us what's going on right now?”

“Not a thing,” sighed Applejack wearily. “Ah sure wish they would – Ah'm almost at mah wits' end 'ere!”

“Well I think I might have an idea to buy us a little more time,” replied Caramel, and whispered something into Applejack's ear. The orange-furred farmer listened carefully, and once her tan-coated coltfriend had finished, she took a moment to consider.

“Well, Caramel,” she decided at last, “it may seem a li'l risky, but Ah think it might just work. C'mon in an' let's run it past Braeburn – an' whatever ya do, don't let 'im anywhere near Sugarcube Corner, ya hear, or we're sunk!”

“Oh, I don't intend to; you can count on it.” Caramel followed Applejack inside the house and over to the dining room, where Braeburn was enjoying a delicious breakfast of porridge and apple slices with Granny Smith and Big Macintosh.

As the two ponies entered, Braeburn happened to glance their way. “Mornin', cuz!” he said cheerfully. “How's it goin'?”

“Uh...not bad,” answered Applejack, fighting off a yawn. “Just been plannin' out the...thing at the place.”

“Fair enough,” chuckled Braeburn with a light shrug. “But ya really ought ta lay off the late-night pacin', Applejack – Ah wouldn't want mah favourite cousin wearin' herself out la'k that!”

“Yeah, whatever,” grunted Applejack, taking a seat.

At the same time, Granny Smith noticed Caramel standing nearby. “Howdy, Caramel,” she greeted. “Come fo' some breakfast with yo' marefriend, have we?”

Caramel blushed heavily. “Uh, thanks, Mrs Smith, but I've already eaten,” he politely refused. “Anyway, Braeburn, I've been hearing from Applejack that you've been wanting to take a proper look around Ponyville, is that right?”

“Yeah?” affirmed Braeburn curiously.

“Well, seeing as today's my day off, I thought I'd give you one myself,” offered Caramel. “Okay, so perhaps I haven't lived here for half as long as certain others I could mention, but...well, how does that sound?”

Braeburn hesitated. “Um...yeah, Ah guess so,” he agreed at last. “Ah would'a preferred ta have Pinkie as mah tour guide, but Ah can make do with a family friend, Ah suppose. Speakin' o' whom,” he added, “how's she doin'?”

Caramel, Granny Smith and Applejack exchanged anxious glances. Secretly, they were all wondering the same thing.

“Well...we haven't heard back from her in a while,” mused Caramel, breaking the awkward silence. “Could be that she's been hired in for some other party at the last minute. There's been an awful lot of that stuff lately, it being summertime and all, and we all know how much demand that generates for mares like Pinkie Pie, don't we?”

Braeburn nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, Ah think Ah understand.”

Applejack gulped hard and hoped he didn't.

“So,” went on Caramel, “you up for a spin around Ponyville?”

“Yeah, sure,” conceded Braeburn. “Ah'll be with ya as soon as Ah'm done here.”

“Good. I'll just hang around and chat with Applejack until you're ready to go.”

---

Once Caramel and Braeburn were out and about, however, the tan-coated stallion's confidence began to waver as they wandered aimlessly through the streets of Ponyville. He had intended to draw out his “guided tour” as long as he could, but he soon found it an uphill struggle to show and tell about the various points of interest without boring Braeburn to death. They were only halfway round town by now, and already Caramel was starting to lose Braeburn's interest.

“...so this here is the Castle of Friendship,” he continued, pointing out the obvious. “It wasn't previously a feature of Ponyville, but...well...it just kinda cropped up after the rampage of Lord Tirek...uh, during which he actually destroyed the library that used to stand here...”

“The Golden Oak Library?” muttered Braeburn, giving off a loud, uninterested yawn.

“Yes, that!” announced Caramel abruptly. “I wondered when you were gonna spot that one! So anyway,” he went on, “this...kinda replaced the library as Princess Twilight Sparkle's home...”

Braeburn groaned and shook his head wearily as Caramel continued to ramble. He knew about Lord Tirek's attack on Equestria just as much as the next pony – heck, he had actually fallen victim to that psychopath back in Appleloosa – but to hear about it in detail from another pony made it sound far more dull than horrific somehow.

“Yeah, whatever,” he mumbled at last. “Can we move on now?”

“Right now?! But we've only just got here!” objected Caramel.

“And now Ah'd rather just be leavin',” replied Braeburn bluntly.

“Oh...” Caramel's face took on a mask of disappointment. “...well, if you're sure – but I was rather hoping you'd be able to meet the Royal Consort.”

Braeburn's eyes lit up. “What Royal Consort?”

“One of the Royal Guards assigned to this very castle,” explained Caramel, relieved to have regained Braeburn's curiosity. “I don't know all that much about him yet, but Applejack says he was formerly stationed up in the Crystal Empire. Flash Sentry, I think she said his name was.”

“Oh right? What rank?”

Caramel paused, trying to remember what Applejack had told him. “Um...Lieutenant, I think. He'd only just been promoted by the time he left the Empire and came down here to Ponyville, so Applejack says.”

“Well, Ah'd sure la'k ta meet 'im later on,” decided Braeburn.

“Why not now?” offered Caramel. “There's no time like the present, after all.”

But Braeburn shook his head in response. “If y'all were ta check the time, Caramel,” he said, “Ah think you'll find that the present ain't such a good time after all.”

Perplexed, Caramel looked towards the clock tower, and was rather taken aback when he saw that it was well past midday. “Wow!” he remarked. “Doesn't time fly when you're having fun?”

“For you, maybe,” muttered Braeburn under his breath, “but Ah thought it went by la'k a snail!”

“Anyway,” said Caramel, ignoring Braeburn's snide remark, “what say we go find somewhere to have lunch?”

“Yeah, let's do that,” agreed Braeburn. “Ah could eat a whole apple tree right now.”

Caramel suppressed a laugh and shook his head in amusement. “There's more to life than apples, you know, Braeburn,” he pointed out. “Okay, so perhaps I can't get enough of them myself – I blame Applejack and her family for that – but variety is the spice of life, I always say.”

“You would, seein' as how y'all spent the best part o' yo' life dodgin' around Equestria!” joked Braeburn.

“Oh yeah?!” smirked Caramel cheekily. “Well at least I had the courage to give up my old way of life!”

Their hearty banter continued all the way into the Ponyville plaza, by which time both ponies had worked up quite an appetite. Caramel was now beginning to feel better pleased with himself; at this rate, he thought, Pinkie Pie would already be home by the time Braeburn's suspicions had a chance to resurface. With a coy, thankful smile, he slowed to a stop and began scanning for somewhere that might appeal to the golden-furred stallion – the Clover Café, the Golden Dragon Chineighse Takeaway, Matilda's Tea Room, Sugarcube Corner...

Sugarcube Corner?! Caramel shot an alarmed double-take towards the bakery, on sight of which he suddenly remembered that this was the last place he wanted to take Braeburn – and even worse, neither he nor Applejack had told Mr or Mrs Cake about their mix-up with Pinkie Pie. If Braeburn were to go in there and find she was absent...

Caramel thought quickly. He had to get himself and Braeburn to another eatery before he started getting any ideas. “Say, Braeburn,” he decided hastily, “how about we go in the Sunflower Café to eat? They've got some real nice food in there.”

“Uh...sure, whatever you want,” replied Braeburn, mildly perplexed by Caramel's somewhat abrupt demeanour.

Without waiting for another word, Caramel dashed across the street towards the café, with a confused Braeburn following as closely as he could. Only when he was inside the building did he finally calm down, breathing a huge sigh of relief as he looked for an empty table.

“Well, well, well!” called a voice. “Fancy meeting you here, Caramel!”

The tan-furred stallion looked to his right, and was elated to find a familiar two-tone grey stallion sitting in a booth nearby. “Hullo, Lucky,” he remarked. “I must say, this is a pleasant surprise.”

“What'cha been up to then, buddy? Showing visitors around Ponyville, eh?” joked Lucky.

“Well, as a matter of fact, yes I have,” said Caramel. “This here is Braeburn; he's Applejack's cousin. Braeburn, this is my best friend Lucky Clover.”

“Howdy, Lucky, glad ta know ya,” greeted Braeburn, shaking Lucky's hoof.

“Likewise, Braeburn,” replied Lucky graciously. “So what brings you to Ponyville then, anything special?”

Braeburn smiled wryly. “Yeah, it's special alright – it's Pinkie Pie.”

“Oh yeah? What about her?”

But before Braeburn could reply, Caramel interjected in as tactful a manner as possible; “Here, Braeburn, why don't I hold the fort while you go get some food?” he suggested. “I mean you did say you were starving earlier, and...well......I don't really wanna deprive you of your lunch.”

“But Ah don't know what ta order,” objected Braeburn.

Caramel shoved a copy of the menu into Braeburn's hoof. “Maybe this ought to help.”

“Hmm...” Braeburn fell silent for a moment as he scanned through the menu for something he might like. “Tell ya what,” he offered at last, “how about Ah order fo' both of us, an' y'all can pay me back. How's that sound?”

“Yeah, sounds like a plan,” agreed Caramel, taking a look through the menu himself. “Um...yeah, I'll go for the hay bacon, lettuce and tomato roll and some coffee.”

“Any particular kind?”

“I don't mind as long as it's not got chilli in it,” muttered Caramel absent-mindedly, taking a seat next to Lucky.

“Okay then,” chuckled Braeburn. “Ah'll just go an' order. Be back in a tick.”

Caramel watched as the golden-furred stallion trotted off to join the queue, mentally chiding himself for having nearly given the game away. His train of thought was disturbed, however, when he noticed that Lucky's usual enthusiasm seemed to have been replaced by an air of confusion.

“What in the hay was that for, Caramel?” he quizzed.

“Ah, yes...about that...” Caramel cringed awkwardly as he realised that he might have been a little antisocial with Braeburn. “...we've actually got a bit of a problem, Lucky, and Braeburn's in the thick of it,” he said, lowering his voice.

“How do you mean?”

“Well, it's like this; the whole reason he came here was so that he could be with Pinkie Pie,” explained Caramel quietly. “Trouble is she'd already gone to see him in Appleloosa at the same time as he was travelling down here to Ponyville, so we need to try and keep him from finding out the truth in case he decides to reverse his decision and return to Appleloosa – until Pinkie returns, of course,” he added.

“And where is she now?” asked Lucky.

“Somewhere between here and Appleloosa – we don't know where exactly.”

Lucky frowned. “Yeah, that's a tight spot you're in and no mistake,” he mused.

“I know,” sighed Caramel wearily. “We've tried all sorts of tricks to distract his attention away from Pinkie, but I doubt we're going to be able to keep his curiosity at bay much longer. Even I'm running out of ideas, and I'm the one who's best at making excuses!”

“Well, better than Applejack, that's for sure,” quipped Lucky gravely. “Best I can suggest is just keep trying and hope everything turns out okay.”

Caramel sighed again and rested his chin on one hoof. “I sure hope it does,” he mumbled.

At that moment, Braeburn came trotting back towards their table. “Hey again, Caramel,” he chirped, sitting himself down on the opposite end of the booth to the tan-coated stallion. “What were y'all an' Lucky talkin' about just now?”

“Oh...not much,” stuttered Caramel. “Just talking about a guy who rolled into town last month – somepony by the name of...Horsham Trotter Cattermole...Friedrich Sibley McBoing Boing...von......Livingspace?” He gave a nervous grin, hoping that Braeburn would buy such a long and ridiculous name.

But sadly it only served to send Braeburn into a fit of laughter. “Ah, don't go on, Caramel!” he guffawed loudly. “That's the stupidest name Ah've ever heard!”

But no sooner had he finished than the three Earth ponies heard somepony else sobbing from across the café. Confused, Braeburn stopped laughing and looked up to see a hot-pink stallion with green mane and tail galloping outside with tears streaking down his face. The golden-furred stallion stared in disbelief. “O...kay, what do you suppose that was all about?”

Lucky rolled his eyes and shook his head in disapproval. “I think you just upset our newest kiddies' entertainer, Braeburn,” he replied.

“How come?” quizzed Braeburn.

“That was Horsham Trotter Cattermole Friedrich Sibley McBoing Boing von Livingspace – but we call him Horsey for short.”

Caramel groaned loudly and slapped a hoof to his face. “Oh, crud!” he hissed to himself, palpably frustrated. “I'd forgotten that was a real pony!”

“Never mind that, Caramel,” interrupted Lucky promptly. “He'll get over it, I'm sure. Anyway, Braeburn,” he went on, “you were saying about Pinkie Pie?”

That was more than enough to take Braeburn's mind off the pony he had accidentally offended – perhaps a bit more so than Lucky had been hoping for. The golden-furred stallion immediately began chattering about Pinkie Pie as if there was no tomorrow, never once stopping to let them get a word in edgeways even when his and Caramel's orders arrived. Laid back though Lucky usually was, even he had to admit that to say that Braeburn was boring him to tears would be putting it mildly!

Author's Note:

Horsham Trotter Cattermole Freidrich Sibley McBoing Boing von Livingspace is a homage to the Monty Python character Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel, who represented the Silly Party in the sketch "Election Night Special".

Comments

[SageBrony07]

Well that's a gamble. Have Braeburn talk about Pinkie. I guess now we know what's up in Ponyville. The only question is what happens next.Good luck Thanks for a good chapter.